Warning:
This story contains bad language.
Most of the characters belong to Bioware.

An irrational choice

by Ashahera

Chapter one

For hours now Nathaniel has been sitting in the middle of the camp, staring in the darkness surrounding it. The commander had slipped into his tent just after nightfall apologising for waking him and ordering him to take over her watch tonight. She said she was feeling unwell and would rather rest. Respecting her privacy he obeyed without question.

So he sat there, his back turned to the fading camp-fire and fought his need for sleep as his eyes slowly closed causing him to doze off for a quick moment every now and then.
The touch of his grandfathers former bow he held with a loose grip in his right hand made him dwell in unpleasant memories.

A sharp cry coming from the commanders tent ripped Nathaniel out of his sinister thoughts. Fully awake and feeling guilty for a possible lack of attention he turned around quickly looking for any possible threat. As none was to be seen he ran to the commanders tent only to stop close before it's entrance as he heard violent sobbing coming from within. His gut feeling urged him to enter without waiting for permission, but his good manners told him otherwise. "Commander are you all right?" The sobbing seized, but he got no reply. "May I come in?" Still nothing. "Commander?" ... Silence.

By Andraste! Pushing the good manners aside, Nathaniel drew back the tent's door and entered. The dim light of what remained of the camp-fire poorly enlightened the small tent. He saw the commander lying cramped up on her bedroll. Her shoulders heaved under her heavy breathing. Blue, tired eyes filled with tears glared at him as she tried to speak. Her voice was very weak and barely audible.
The moment he bend down and leaned closer to understand what she tried to say, Anders and Oghren rushed in.
"Thoug' I heard somethin'" the dwarf babbled.
"Having another nightmare commander? Those by the taint corrupted dreams always freak the hell out of me as well, thought you might wanna receive a small pinch or so to wake up."
"Out with you! Now!" The commanders words weren't more than a whisper but the anger that filled them was unmistakable.
"You heard the commander! Off with you!" Nathaniel's words were swift but clear.
"Are you all right Commander?" Anders gave her a worried look. "You seem to be in pain, I'm sorry for bumping in so rude, I just thought you were only-"
"Go away! All of you! That's an order!" she cried out hoarsely.
Oghren and Anders vanished back into the darkness, but Nathaniel remained at her side.
"Go!"Leave me al..." her voice broke off as a heavy weave of nausea overcame her. Lying all curled up, her face twisting in agony she clenched her arms around her belly and rolled to the other side turning her back to Nathaniel.
"Commander...what is it? We've all been eating the same stew tonight and only bread and salted meat during the day so unless you've been eating something else as well I doubt it can be food poisoning."
"That's … not it" she hissed trough clenched teeth.
A moment later she started retching, grimacing as sour bile shot up her throat.
"Would you like me to accompany you outside commander? asked Nathaniel in a calming tone.
She nodded weakly. When she tried to get up, she suddenly pushed a hand before her mouth and turned her head away from the Warden with a shameful look.
"Come here commander", Nathaniel picked her up and quickly carried her to the borders of the camp. He let her kneel down next to an old oak. Leaning with one arm against the tree she bend over and emptied her stomach on the moss covered ground. Nathaniel held her shoulder long black hair back and gently rubbed her back.
Being his commander he wasn't sure if she'll let him fuss over her but as sick as she was, she didn't seemed to mind. He had no clue about comforting people as he was used to keep to himself for most of his life.
When the vomiting had ceased, he offered her his water pouch. She cleaned her mouth and spat out weakly. The world spun sickeningly in her head which finally caused her to faint. Nathaniel pulled her limp body closer to his chest and let her head rest on his shoulders. He wiped her face with a handkerchief and whispered calming words in her ear.

When dawn closed in, Anders came out of his tent fully dressed in his mage robes with a worried look upon his face. Nathaniel sat in front of the camp-fire absent-mindedly fumbling in the sleeping commanders hair. He had laid her down onto a blanket and had her covered up lightly, her head resting on his lap. She had been sick two more times that night and as she was barely conscious he did not dare leaving her alone.
"Hey, how is she doing?" Anders asked with a low voice trying not to wake her.
"Not good" Nathaniel replied still staring into the distance ahead. "She's burning hot and keeps fainting."
"Found out the source of her sickness yet?"
"Do I really look like a bloody healer to you?" Nathaniel snapped back.
"OK, OK, I know you had a rough night all right, but that's no reason to immediately get pissed at me." "Just concerned that's all. Unfortunately I am a mediocre herbalist, but I think I can mange a potion to lower that fever of hers."
"Do that!"
"HEEY nothin' better than a good puke to start the day aye commander?" yelled Oghren all over the camp as he fell out of his tent merely dressed in his undergarments.
"Great the dwarf's awake!" remarked Anders arrogantly lifting the eyebrow. "What a joy!"
"From what I've overheard she did a good job last night..."
"Shut up you disgusting creature", interrupted the rogue "or I'll make sure you won't live another night to overhear anything!"
"Wohoo a death threat at dawn, coming from a shady rogue with red sleepy eyes almost tops the..." This time it was Anders who interrupted Oghren enthusiastic speech.
"Come here you!"pulling Oghren back to his tent "get dressed and sober...and don't speak to the commander like that or I'll freeze your ass so that she can shape it into a cute little fairy sculpture when she's feeling better again."
"Ehjee now that's a pretty-"
"Argh get in there and hold your breath!"
"I still cannot believe she let HIM become a Grey Warden!" Anders started the usual complaining. Nathaniel definitely had no nerves for that right now; "Well she let YOU join too!"
"FINE! I'll see what herbs I can find! And leave the poor commander to your moody temper!"

The commander stirred a little before waking up. She moaned softly as she tried to lift up her head. Nathaniel immediately stopped stroking her hair. Uncoordinated she grabbed behind herself and fumbled to get his hand. When she did, she placed it back on her head and closed her eyes again. Nathaniel couldn't help grinning at this gesture. The commander, their fearless leader seemed to enjoy some fussing over after all.
Or she might just as well mistake him for her husband King Alistair in her feverish delirium.

Tbc...

Hello everyone :-)

I love reading all kind of fantastic novels and am a huge fan of Bioware's Dragon Age Origins and Awakening. (Among many other things )

This is my very first attempt of writing fan fiction myself so please let me know if I shall turn it into a new pass time of mine or rather stop right here. :-/

(Please try to ignore my possible English mistakes, it's none of my native languages)

Comments/Replies are very welcome ;-)