CHAPTER 1 – ALL OR NOTHING

Clutch, gas, shift (neutral to first? Or first to second?), release clutch, I repeated over and over in my head, the mantra offering little comfort and even less direction amid the screeching midday traffic. Aw, fuck this! I don't need a friggin' driver's license anyway.

I walked out of the car, leaving my teacher slightly mystified. I headed over to the nearest Burger King and ate the hell out of my anger away.

"Hey, what's wrong?" It was my best friend and sometimes, only friend, Dylan. He could tell my mood just by the slightest changes in my facial expression. Uncanny, I know.

"The test blew, man. I got pissed and walked out on Mr. Fischer." Then I let out an unrestrained laugh.

Dylan did too. "You probably won't need it anyway." He smiled at me knowingly.

I knew that smile. It means he is up to or has accomplished something. I sighed, and even though I didn't want to know, I asked, "What did you do this time?"

"Well, we're going to be rich, baby!"

My body tensed up. I didn't want to test pilot a prototype of anything he made, not anymore. I lost faith in that sentence a long time ago. I believed in it at first but now, I've just kinda gotten used to it. Dylan was a weird dude. He over thinks things too much. One time, he even challenged Newton's law of gravity.

"Oh relax, I was just kidding. I don't have anything amazing to show you today. I wish I have but, um... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't need a license because I'm willing to drive you anywhere, if you'll have me." He said, blushing.

"You want to be my chauffeur?" I understood what he was implying, but refused to acknowledge it. We had a good thing as friends, why ruin it?

"Maybe you didn't get what I meant. I said—"

"I got what you meant, I just.. I can't do us, not now."

"Then when? We've known each other since we were in Pre-K. And I've been in love with you for the last decade."

"Dyl, don't do this to me. You're the only friend I have, I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"Guess what, you might have just lost me." He walked out, pretty much like the way I walked out on my driving teacher.

Wow. Apparently, it's all or nothing. Whatever, he'll get over it.

I walked home alone, contemplating. I knew that when I wake up the next day, Dylan is going to be there with his home-cooked meal. I sat on the rooftop and watched the sun set and stars sparkle. I used to do that all the time, and sometimes I fall asleep outside. Naturally, Dylan was always there to bring me to my room and tuck me in.

But when I woke up the next day on the rooftop, my heart sank. Reality was sinking in. I may just have lost Dylan. I called him a dozen times.

A dozen times, he didn't answer.

I heard someone knocking.

"Hi." It was Dylan, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"What are you smiling about?"

"You seriously called me for like, a hundred times today. What's up?"

I was flabbergasted. "Okay, what's happening? Did you forget about our conversation yesterday?"

"No. As a matter of fact, I remember it perfectly." He was still smiling. Ugh! I wanted to rip that smile off his face.

"DYLAN! WHAT THE FUCK?" I gave him a look that said, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to kill you.

"It was street theater, dude! Remember I've been talking to you about wanting to do that for ages?"

I slapped him. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why didn't you tell me? You asshole!"

"If I did, it wouldn't be authentic! My drama teacher loved your reaction." That slap I gave him didn't wipe the smile off of his freakin' face. Asshole.

I slammed the door in his face.

"June bug! I'm sorry. I got you a present because I knew you'd be pissed."

Present. That was the magic word.

When I opened the door, he was kneeling and holding a charm bracelet. "Forgive me? Make me the happiest man in the world?"

I smiled. "Fine, you're off the hook." I held my hand out for him to wear the bracelet on me. "But if you ever do that to me again, I'm going to kill you."

We both laughed.