It was worrying, the way Aigis shelled herself up in her room those few days after he died. She had only just gotten a handle on human emotions and now she probably hardly knew what to do with them, being presented with something of this magnitude; Junpei didn't see it as too far out of the ballpark to assume that he had been her first love, and the way it seemed, she was lucky enough to have it requited, to whatever extent. Not many were that fortunate.
What would that be like? To face the end of the world with the person you love, and have that happy ending in your palm, the potential for that happily-ever-after with your special someone…and then, it all just shatters?
Then again, Junpei supposed that feeling wasn't too alien to him; he had been Junpei's best friend. Junpei lost someone that day too - disturbingly soon after losing Chidori.
He wondered if the feeling could compare, for just a moment, but then decided emotions were too subjective to ever compare something like that.
Nonetheless, he was still concerned. Aigis didn't need to eat or anything, so he at least knew she wasn't starving to death in the solitude of her room…but she hadn't socialized with any of them since it had been proven that the halt of the Fall did not come without a cost.
A frown pulled his goateed features and he adjusted the brim of his cap, eyes trained on the stairs as if it were Nyx all over again, and the stairwell, too, intended to bring about the end of all living things. Did he really want to go up there? If she wanted to speak to them, then she would. It wasn't as if she were paralyzed up there; he knew from the occasional shuffling sounds he heard during the rare times she stood.
A thought occurred to him, then, that made him tame his death glare a little. What if she did want to talk to someone, but merely lacked the drive? Or even just the words? He wouldn't blame her if that were the case. Nowadays he wasn't sure how to address the rest of what was once SEES, himself, and he'd had a grip on emotions his entire life.
How would anyone know if that were the case, though? No one was motivated enough to make an assertive effort to talk to one another - people they saw every day - much less try to coax out the robotic shut-in.
"…hmph." That settled it. He would give it a shot; what was the worst that could happen? She'd just not open the door - Aigis wouldn't turn her guns on him. He had nothing to fear.
With this resolve firmly in place, he marched up the sequence of staircases to the third floor, determination in his every gesture until he arrived at the android's door. The Persona-user planted himself resolutely in front of the door, and took in a deep breath; he soon wished he hadn't, though, because as he exhaled, he could feel his confidence leaving along with the air in his lungs.
It took a few moments to gather up his wavering composure, but as soon as he did, he quickly decided to take action before it up and left him again. His knuckles made gentle contact with the door once, twice, three times, and he waited in silence for an-eternity-in-four-seconds before trying, "Ai-chan?"
There was no answer, so Junpei swallowed and made a second attempt, voice pushed to an even more curious edge when he further prodded, "Aigis? Can I come in?"
A sound like a quiet whir emerged muffled from behind the door - Junpei may not have heard it if not for the eerie silence in the dorm at present. He wasn't sure if it was the robotic girl herself or one of the many other devices in her room that helped monitor her operation, though.
When there was still no response to his request, he finally gave in and added, "…please?"
This seemed to be enough, as after what was probably a moment of consideration, Junpei heard footsteps from inside, and as they neared the door, he backpedaled about a step. Shortly following this, Aigis opened the door, and it seemed like she had put on a mask from back when they had first met, that strange lack of expression. "…come in," the weapon invited preceding a step to the side so Junpei could let himself in.
He stepped into the unorthodox bedroom and she shut the door behind him, but the hush that came after tipped him off to the fact that she hadn't moved away from the entrance. When he was in the rough center of the space, he turned back so that his body was facing Aigis, and the way she stood stiff with her hand on the doorknob, like she expected to need to show him out at any second, was unnerving.
"…Aigis," started Junpei somberly. "…you're not okay, are you?"
"My processors are running at their optimal levels and my system has not suffered any damage. I am fine," she replied in a monotone, the speed of the words normal but the haste to answer the question evident. Her eyes stayed trained on a spot somewhere far away from Junpei, and he sighed.
"You're not. …none of us are." He reached up to adjust his hat - normally a gesture of determination, but also secretly a nervous habit of his - and made himself comfortable seated atop a nearby closed box of ammunition. "…but you have to move on, Aigis. You're missing out on the world he saved for us." Sure, none of them were running at full speed, no one was experiencing things to their fullest; but at least they were able to go through the motions. Aigis wasn't even doing that.
She was silent and that made him more nervous.
"I mean, he wouldn't want you to be so unhappy…what would have been the point of doing what he did if everyone was just going to waste away anyways?" He hoped she would speak soon; in the absence of a response, the grace would soon fall from his words and he'd lose control of his tongue.
His hopes were shot, though, as she granted him nothing for his efforts. "C-come on, Aigis, didn't you say you were going to live? This isn't living. It's…I don't know what it is, but it's not living, and it's not healthy…we're worried about you, but no one is doing anything about it, so I came up here, because no one likes being alone, and I don't like seeing you upset- Aigis, please say something."
She didn't move, but she did speak. "…it hurts to live." That was all she said.
He fidgeted uncomfortably. "Yeah, it does, sometimes. But…that's the price of living, y'know? The good comes with the bad. I know I didn't feel like living when Chidori…when Chidori died." He stumbled over the word, but skirting it wouldn't make this any easier. "But it didn't matter if I didn't feel like it. I had to - for everyone, for myself, for her. It wouldn't have helped anything to end my life…and it would have been a disgrace to her. How could I throw away something that she gave me?"
The robot's hand finally fell away from the doorknob, and she decided it was worth it to finally look at Junpei; but, at that point, he had averted his gaze from his teammate, his focus softly on the room instead. "It still hurts sometimes, to think of her. And now it hurts to think of him too…" admitted the Persona-user. "…but they're the reason I'm here now. He's the reason you're here now. You have to just…pick yourself back up, and move on. Focus on the people still here, the things happening now."
He stood, then; he wasn't quite sure why. He looked back to Aigis, too, and there was something in her face, something-
Emotion, he saw it, and it drew him to approach her. She was absorbing his words, even if she had none of her own. "…I'm still here." It came out gently, as if it was necessary to adjust his volume now that he was closer. He'd lost control of his mouth again, no longer the master of his speech, but for some reason it didn't really bother him to say what reflex demanded. "I'm hurting too. I don't want to hurt- I don't want you to hurt." Then he took her hand; it was cold, hard, but not lifeless, because she was gripping his in return.
"…you can move on. It's okay. He- he wouldn't want you to stand still forever." He was talking to Aigis, but at the same time, to himself as well. Chidori wouldn't want that for him either. Was this okay? Would she be okay with this?
Both of his hands were clasped around Aigis', and finally the last semblance of power he'd had over his mouth disappeared when she looked up to meet his eyes. He bent down and caught any speech she may have been preparing to muster; her hands were remarkably icy and unrelenting, but her face was the exact contrast. It was warm and her lips were soft underneath his own, like someone had taken great care to make her countenance the pinnacle of her visible humanity.
They stood for a long time (he didn't realize until later that it meant she hadn't pulled away), but Junpei eventually had to remove himself from Aigis. Their eyes met again - he hadn't realized he had closed his - and the anti-Shadow weapon stared wordlessly at him for a few seconds that made him just want to run as far away as possible.
A sound broke the silence, but it was not one made by any of the monitoring equipment. It was the beginnings of a sob as the blonde connected with Junpei again, this time in a desperate embrace, burying her face between his head and his shoulder. His arms slipped around her and he held her tightly, as tightly as he could, even if it was strange to feel that the surface underneath his hands wasn't skin.
There was a sad smile overlaying the words that he whispered next; "It's okay. We'll move on together."
A/N: de-anoning from the Persona 3 kink meme. this is my first time doing such and i feel like i should probably say something more than just "de-anoning from such-and-such", but...idk whatever. hope you enjoyed!