Balamb Garden was the same as ever. Even two years after Ultimecia's defeat, it didn't change. It underwent thorough repairs and renovations, which cost a lot of money.
Squall had a hard time getting the reparations sponsored, but with Xu's and Quistis's guidance he pulled it off. He wasn't envious of his position at all.
His hands were full with getting past the last exam and becoming a SeeD at last. Seifer Almasy, the gunblade specialist has made it to the top ranking SeeDs within the year.
Some whispered he bought or even bribed his way to SeeD status. Fujin and Raijin were always there for him. They always stood by his side, even when he made that questionable decision back then... they are truly friends for life.
He knew, however that he needed to take care of something important. Extremely important to him at least. The problem involved a hot – headed martial artist who had an unhealthy hot dog obsession.
It was three years ago. When he realized his feelings for him. At that time, he was in a somewhat relationship with Rinoa and thought that those feelings for Zell would vanish. How wrong he was. What was he thinking back then? He knew it was long forgotten, but Seifer had a tendency (or some would say tenacity) to remember some really old things that happened and ponder upon them. At least he'll clear up this from his mind. And then... then he'll think about him.
Seifer looked around his surroundings. Oh right, he was in his quarters. His SeeD quarters. How late was it? Palpating for the digital clock, he picked it up and his brows furrowed. "Shit. It's a bit late..."
He put the clock down on the nightstand table, thinking. Should he really go now? Last thing he needed was lover boy commander getting jealous of him. Because he'll know one way or another that Seifer spoke to his girlfriend.
Still, he didn't like to leave things unsettled and unresolved. Without much further thinking, he stood up and put on his signature trench coat and walked to the door. He was so deep in thoughts that he missed when someone called out to him.
"-Ey. Hey, Seifer!"
He didn't recognize that voice at first, but when he turned around, he saw the cowboy and his girl. They were holding hands. Ah, display of feelings. How lovely, Seifer thought.
Selphie smiled at him cheerily. "Oooh, where are you heading at this hour?" She asked, nudging her boyfriend, giggling.
Irvine shared a look with Seifer who didn't feel like announcing to the whole Garden his personal matters. If it involved those two blabbermouths, everyone knew to keep their mouths shut.
"It's none of your business." He stated, walking away from the couple who was left confused.
"What's gotten into him?"
"I have no clue, but I'm sure he isn't going to do anything bad. After all, he's one of us now." Irvine said. Selphie shrugged. It was none of their business alright. They were on the way to meet up with Quistis and Zell.
"Right, let's just go on with our own business."
They went to meet others in library, where extensive preparations for the Garden Festival were progressing.
Heading down the halls, Seifer passed by students and other SeeDs, instructors. He paid them no attention. His mind was a whirl of mess. And it was all thanks to a certain airhead.
Now, where was her room? It must be near Squall's, right?
Searching for her room, he was looking at nameplates when he finally stumbled upon her room. She shared it with him. Of course.
Seifer cursed silently. Maybe Squall's not back yet. He doesn't need to hear a lecture from Leonhart, thank you very much. This matter doesn't concern him. This is just him tying up all the loose ends from the past.
He's been thinking about this talk for an awfully long time, but always put it off for this or that reason. Now, standing before the door, he mustered up his courage and knocked twice.
From within, he heard nearing footsteps and then her voice. "Yeeah, wait a minute Quistis!"
She opened the door and her expression spoke for itself. "Seifer?"
"Is Leonhart nearby?" He asked carefully.
"No, he's at Fisherman's Horizon, speaking with the village mayor."
Relieved, Seifer conjured up a half smile. "That's good. I need to talk to you. Right now. So, will you invite me to your room? I don't fancy being overhead."
Rinoa eyed him for a moment, then looked down the ends of hallway. "Alright, I can see something is bothering you."
His lips formed a thin line as he walked past her into the much more bigger room than his quarters. Rinoa closed the door and he went to the couch and sat down.
His ex – girlfriend sat down in the armchair next to the couch, probably keeping distance. Seifer just wanted to settle matters with her.
"So, what did you want to talk about? It's unusual for you to seek me out. We haven't talked since Ultimecia has been defeated..."
Looking at her, he bowed his head. "I'm sorry for how I have treated you in the past. It wasn't fair."
Blinking, she urged him to stop bowing. "N-no, it's fine! I was clinging to something that wasn't working out in the first place. I should apologize, too."
But Seifer wouldn't have it. He came here to make amends. Properly. "No, it's been my fault from the very beginning. I was..." He stopped talking, making eye contact with the distraught sorceress. "I was using you. You were a substitute. I thought that if I could fall in love with you, I would forget about my fruitless love. As you can see, it backfired." He chuckled, then looked at his hands.
"I was struck with a realization that I love someone whom I can't have when I was already going out with you. I'm a terrible person, I'm sorry for being a jackass and using you. I'm so sorry." He bowed again and Rinoa stood up and forced him to look at her.
"If that's what been worrying you, then don't worry. I knew you used me all along. I thought I could fill the void in your heart, but that special person you love... isn't me. So, I gave up and then, I found Squall on the dancing floor and things... happened. Now, I'm happier than ever, in a full fledged relationship with someone who loves me back. But you... you're still... how should I say it... alone. I want to help you, Seifer."
Help him? He felt the urge to laugh at that. One cannot force someone to love, he learned that the hard way. But still, he's not one to give up so easily. He stood up and went for the door. "Thanks for hearing me out. It's been weighing down on my mind since you hooked up with Leonhart. As much as I hate him sometimes, I have to admit he's a good leader and good person. Sourpuss, but good person." He waved behind him. "See you around."
And he left, his chest feeling much lighter.
Now that he resolved that matter, he can focus on him.
Seifer headed back to his room. He'll think of something tomorrow. To ease his mind, he figured he'd go training for a bit. He grabbed his gunblade and he was off to the training center, which was always open, no matter the hour.
Zell was balancing on a ladder with a handful of books. Quistis was sitting at a table quietly making plans for Garden Festival. The library door swung open with the arrival of the happy couple. "Guuuuys!" Selphie ran ahead and Zell almost lost his balance due to the minor distraction.
"Hey, you're right on time. I am just putting back some books." Zell exclaimed, putting back on the shelf the last book. He descended the ladder and his gaze dropped at the grinning pair in front of him. Irvine and Selphie were the most adorable couple in Balamb Garden. Well, them and then there were Squall and Rinoa. Zell found himself a bit jealous. He wished he'd have someone who'd love him.
"There you are Selphie. I agreed to help with Festival this year, but that doesn't mean you can slack off. You're the main organizer." Quistis with her classic scolding made them all reminiscence their childhood.
"Yeah, sorry about that." They joined her at the table and Zell instantly thought about ditching this meeting. As much as he loved hanging out with his friends, this meeting was going to be extremely boring. He got bribed into attending and participating by Squall (and Quistis).
He propped up his head against his elbow, already not paying attention to what was being said. He was dozing off, when a certain name caught his attention and awakened him. "And there he was. Seifer, leaving his room. When I asked where he's going, he said in that tone of his 'none of your business' and he just walked away. I am not sure what's up, but I was hoping he would open up to us. I mean... we grew up together. We're all together again and SeeDs. Why can't we all just get along?" Selphie asked and everyone around the table dived back into their own experiences with the gunblade wielder from the past.
They had quite a colorful past. Seifer would taunt him and he would get angry. It has been that way since they were kids. Zell came to expect insults from him. The past two years, he and Seifer didn't speak much; or cross paths. He was kind of grateful he didn't have to put up with his snobby behaviour, but in a way he really wanted to be acknowledged by him. To be friends with him.
Who was he kidding. Him and Seifer becoming buddies?
"Don't you find it strange? You think he went to visit someone? Someone... special?" Selphie added to the conversation more firewood to burn.
"Even if he's seeing someone, it's nothing to us. He clearly doesn't want us to know. Nor to associate with us for that matter. He's a SeeD, but I can't understand him at all. He's hiding something, I know it. But I can't help him or try to help if he won't share with me what's troubling him." Quistis put down the pen, looking more serious than normally.
"Just let him be. Seifer is a very secretive fellow, but not a bad guy. I'm sure he'll come around one of these days." Irvine made his point, stopping the discussion about the gunblade wielder.
It didn't stop the storm of thoughts in Zell's mind, though. Fujin or Raijin might know more about what's happening with him. They are closest to him.
But to find them, he had to ask Seifer where they were dispatched to. They've been to Esthar a while back, who knows where those two are at now...
He stood up, getting friends' attention. "Wait, where are you going? We're in the middle of planning -"
Zell apologetically looked at them. "Sorry guys. I think someone should find Seifer and make him feel more... welcomed into the team. He's a SeeD, but we rarely see each other."
Quistis adjusted her glasses. "Do you really think you're the right person for that? You two have always been at each other's throats. I think someone else should go."
"I'm not afraid of him, nor do I care for his insults. In the last two years, I've changed. I'm more mature and I want Seifer to truly join our team, as a friend and colleague."
Selphie, Quistis and Irvine exchanged glances around the table, then switched back to the determined martial artist. "Alright, seeing as there is no stopping your folly, go. But don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk and listen."
"I am counting on him to be stubborn. He wouldn't be Seifer if he wasn't at least a bit stubborn. Right, I'll see you guys later!" Zell energetically waved and ran out of the library.
"Do you really think it was a good idea?" Selphie asked Quistis who resumed writing plans for the Garden Festival. "Let's see how it plays out. They're both grown men, they will either talk or fight it out."
Selphie let out an exasperated gasp. "Fight? But why?"
Irvine coughed and Quistis smiled in the direction of library entrance. "I have a feeling they will sort things out either way. Now, back to our planning, shall we?"
"Yeah, let's."
"I'm fired up this year!"
The oldest of the trio lowered her gaze, thinking about those two. Maybe they'll become friends finally. That farce of name calling was getting old.
Despite his best attempts to locate him, Zell couldn't find him. He wasn't in his room, he wasn't at cafeteria. He even checked all toilets on their floor. Where could he be at?
He walked by the green lined ground and stood before the entrance to training center. This is the only logical place where he could be at.
This place was always open. What if he's here?
Zell entered the training facility of Balamb Garden in search of the gunblade wielder. There were monsters aloof, but he had no problems with them. He wasn't one to brag, but taking on a T-Rex would be piece of cake. As SeeD, he's more than capable of dispatching of enemies by himself.
Checking every nook and corner for him, Zell remembered there is a 'secret area' where couples and sometimes lone individuals go to clear their heads.
As for himself, he never was there with anyone, but maybe... just maybe Seifer is there.
He made his way into the secret zone of training facility. It was his first time there. The place had a nice view. Zell spotted some couples huddling close on the dim lit balcony alcove.
And there, standing alone leaning against the stone railing was Seifer, his sword Hyperion was next to him.
Zell made a few steps closer. "Well, well. I didn't think I'd really find you here."
Startled by the sudden appearance, Seifer turned on heel and his eyes met his.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, flabbergasted.
Setting aside the prying looks from nearby couples, Zell strut toward the balcony, standing close next to him. "I came to find you and to talk."
Hearing him say that made Seifer laugh. "To talk you say? And to what do I owe this pleasure?"
Zell settled his elbows on the edge of rail, staring straight ahead. "I've been thinking..."
"Careful to not overdo it." Seifer made a snide comment and the martial artist sighed, but it didn't seem to bother him so much like in the past. So he continued and Seifer felt a bit... uneasy.
Zell never went out of his way to find him, searching for him. "I've been thinking it's time to put the past behind us. We're not little kids anymore. We're both SeeDs and I always considered you a worthy rival. I..." He chuckled to himself, because saying it out loud to Seifer was something surreal to him. "I always wanted to be acknowledged by you. Even since we were little, that's all I wanted. You're strong, a bit cocky, but reliable when someone needs help. I've seen you in a battle firsthand many times and I know you're a capable fighter. You're elite SeeD member, you're one of us. What I'm saying is – what do you say we bury the hatchet and become friends? What do you say, Seifer?" Zell ended his monologue and turned to face the bewildered gunblade specialist who was left speechless.
Then he reached out his hand. He waited for the handshake. Instead, Seifer slapped his outstretched hand away and scoffed. "As always, you don't get anything. You really have no clue, do you?" He raised his voice unknowingly and the couples around them were dispersing, leaving them alone on the balcony.
Caught off guard, Zell scanned his face that was full of... he had no idea what it was, but he's never seen such an expression on Seifer's face. Just what was going on?
"I don't know what you mean man. What's going on?"
Seifer grabbed his arms, pulling him closer. Zell gulped down, all of sudden he was feeling extremely nervous. "How can someone be so dense."
He felt obliged to defend himself. "Hey! I'm not dense!"
"You're stupid, you're too rash, your emotions always get better of you. It's so easy to get under your skin. To put it simply – you're too impulsive and reckless."
And I worry about you.
"And yet..." His grip lessened as he was directly looking at him from so up close. "And yet I cannot help but think about you. I like you, your personality, everything."
The shock snapped him back to reality. Did Seifer just say what he thinks he said...?
Zell jerked himself away from him, looking like a terrified chocobo at its new master. "You like me?"
"I was surprised, too." He replied curtly, waiting for Zell to throw some punches, kick him and say something nasty. But all he got was that confused look on his face.
...Now he's done it. There is no backing out. Seifer suppressed the need to hug him and picked up his gunblade. He headed for the exit without a word.
Going back to his assigned quarters, Seifer felt the rising wave of anxiety as he was leaving the training center in haste. He planned on telling him, but under better circumstances, not like that.
I've seriously fucked up now...
After Seifer left, Zell's reality collapsed onto itself. It must be a prank... a cruel prank.
But something in his heart whispered to him that Seifer was being sincere and he showed him his true feelings.
What the hell should he do? He wasn't expecting this. How can someone prepare for an out of nowhere love confession? How does he feel about Seifer...
Admiration. Sympathy.
...was it affection?
He buried head in his hands, screaming. "I've no idea what to do! DAMN IT!" He punched the wall and shook head. "I've never felt this helpless before. If Seifer really feels that way... I... don't know what to do." Zell's frustration exploded and he was left with doubts.
Those doubts weren't entirely about Seifer, but about himself, too. What if he loved him, just didn't know about it? He never dated anyone, so he had no experience in this field.
For tonight, he decided to go back to his room and catch some sleep. He will think about it tomorrow. Zell fought some monsters on his way out of training center and since his mind was elsewhere, it took him good fifteen minutes before he reached his room, where he fell in the bed.
Sleep eluded him for a long while, before tiredness won and he finally fell asleep.
TO BE CONTINUED_