Have some madness my brain concocted! Yeah, I don't really know what this is supposed to be either. But it was fun to write, so I do hope it will be fun to read as well.
This takes place in the same universe as "5 Tasks For Pansy", but you really don't need that to understand this, I was just too lazy to come up with something new.
Might post more tidbits like this one in this story later.
-o0o-
The door's hinges gave a slight metallic click that announced Harry's arrival. Blaise, Draco, Pansy and Hermione - who was still trying in vain to pluck the last scraps of seaweed out of her hair - froze immediately. So did Harry when he came face to face with yet another reason to ban them all from ever entering his house again. He did not scream, to his credit. He just bit his lip and waited until Hermione cleared her throat nervously.
"It was his idea! He questioned my judgement. So I had to" she said pointing at Draco who was having trouble concealing his laughter. "I'm sorry" she added after a moment.
Harry's kitchen had been turned into a giant, dry aquarium. It looked as though they had done their best to cover every available surface with either seaweed, gravel or fake coral. Magic projections of various tropical fish flitted around his cupboards, and he thought behind the table he saw what might have been the fin of a shark. Someone had glued bits of inidentifiable transparent material to all the lamps, their blue tint making the room look pretty much like it had been flooded.
He took a very, very slow breath, closed his eyes and reminded himself that murder was a felony that could land him in Azkaban.
In. Out. Breathe, Harry. You can do this.
"Listen. I do not want to know why you did this. You have an hour, then I will walk into my kitchen, make myself a sandwich and not see as much as a shred of evidence that this ever happened to my house."
He shot them a warning look and slammed the door behind him.
"Worth it." Said Draco.
"Totally worth it."
-o0o-
-2 hours earlier-
Hermione had been halfway through her new book - a very interesting discussion of the merits of sticking charms in construction work - when the floo flared up. She looked up in time to see Draco Malfoy, covered in soot, stumble through, followed by Blaise Zabini, their demeanor suggesting Draco's imbalance had been his doing.
They spotted her and she closed her book with a resigned sigh as the two approached.
It'd be hours before she'd know why Helga Hufflepuff had been against fortifying Hogwarts' walls with sticking charms.
"Hermione! We were just looking for you."
Draco came to stand beside him, obviously not thrilled to be included in the whole 'looking for you' thing.
"Blaise here is of the opinion that real aquariums are more interesting than magical ones. Which is stupid, frankly. Why would you want to be able to smell a seal? Besides-"
Smell a seal? There was a story there. Before she got the chance to ask however, Blaise cut in.
"Noone said anything about a bloody seal, Draco! We're talking fish here! And fish are obviously way more interesting if they actually displace water! So Hermione-"
"Displace water? Magically projected fish don't even need water! Or food! Or to shit! Fish shit, Blaise! Projected ones do not! Why would you not want-"
"Merlin Draco, everything shits! You shit! That's not even an argument! And on a different note, how would you even know real fish from fake fish exactly? And how do you of all people know it's not more work to construct and maintain an illusion of that quality? Or do you have any hidden talents you'd like to share with us?"
Hermione was very close to opening her book again then.
"That's got to be the worst argument so far - if I don't know, how would you Blaise? Or are you perhaps one of those people who develop emotional attatchments to his swimming fillets?"
"To be honest, I doubt setting up a fake aquarium would be more work intensive tha-"
She was rudely interrupted by Blaise shouting "HA!" and Draco exclaiming "You traitor!" and she decided even trying to finish her sentence would be a waste of her time. Time she could spend reading. Sigh.
"If it's so easy, then why don't you convince me by building one!"
And that was it. She was hustled into the kitchen - Harry's kitchen, she reminded them and was ignored - and ordered to set to work. What a great use of her time. Sigh.
Pansy poked her head in as Hermione was distributing her interpretation of a corral reef on the tiles. After a profanity laced question about the current state of the room, she took a seat on one of the already arranged corals.
Hermione had to admit, this was fairly difficult. But still easier than the real thing.
It took them almost two hours to create their giant aquascape and when Harry walked in on the admittedly rather embarrassingly childish project, they were distributing tiny bubbles in the air for a finishing touch.
-o0o-
The door slammed closed behind her friend and Hermione sighed again.
"Worth it." Said Draco. She thought about slapping him.
"Totally worth it."
She slapped him.