In hindsight, following Goku was a bad idea. He knew better than anyone else here what following his old friend could do to you. Krillin had already gone through the grieving process and even helped Gohan and Chichi with it as well but the catch was that getting through it involved acceptance and with the tools they had to bring him back, the only way to accept his decision to stay away was to admit that he was right. Krillin had to admit that trouble followed Goku around everywhere and to follow Goku was to expect danger to rear its ugly head. It took time, for all of them, to understand this fully, but they all did and they all accepted. Well – maybe Chichi didn't but Krillin couldn't do much to help her. From what 18 said she was fine, though. She wasn't bitter towards her husband, she knew his heart was in the right place, but she never accepted that Goku remaining dead was for the best. She denied it until the end. She wasn't that different from himself.
Maybe that's why Krillin had followed Goku now. Maybe he was wrong in saying he accepted it. He followed Goku not because he thought they could use his help, but because he wanted to prove that simply being around him didn't cause danger. He wanted to prove that there was no reason to let him die. He wanted to prove Goku wrong.
Oh. That was something he hadn't felt in quite some time. It's okay, though. He could push it away. Push it away like every other negative feeling that came up. Smile for everyone. Stay relaxed. Even in the face of all this demon-world-of-shadows talk, he could at least attempt to remain calm enough to think rationally. Perhaps making a joke could help. Yeah, take a stab at Piccolo for the trouble he had caused in the past. The trouble involving himself and Goku directly. Back to when things were simpler than this, at least. Back when him and Goku could be considered on the same level until suddenly he was surpassed and needed his friend to save him from everything.
There it was again. Why would these feelings surface so suddenly like this? This was not the time. He didn't need to feel like that right now when so much danger was around. It was never important then and it's not important now.
"Krillin. These guys seem pretty tough. Don't you think you should get back to your family?" Leave it to Goku to say just what he needed to hear. The more talk of the power that was surrounding him, the more nervous Krillin became. The more he realized how, in hindsight, following Goku was a bad idea. To be honest, though, it was mentioning his family that finally knocked Krillin back to his senses. He didn't need to prove anything, he didn't need Goku to be wrong, he could leave and be fine. He had already died twice in the past and he wasn't sure how well 18 could handle normal life without him to guide her. And Marron was still so young. He didn't want to admit that this was too much for him but...
"Well I'd like to stick around but – uh – it looks like you guys have pretty much everything covered without me." Okay, so he was scared. Very much so. How could he not be? He just forced himself to accept the reality that staying around might mean he won't survive and that it's best to leave these things to Goku. It's always been best to leave these things to Goku. That anger really needed to leave him alone.
"And I'd hate to think what your wife would do to me if I let anything happen to ya." Inner struggle with acceptance and anger be damned, Krillin caught that friendly stab. He couldn't help a blush as he thought of his wife and the little interaction she has had with his oldest friend and what Goku meant by that statement.
"Y-yeah. She does have a bit of a temper." Nine months is a long time to live with it, too. "But, hey, I love her."
And then shit hit the fan.
Suddenly everything that could go wrong did and it all happened so fast that Krillin barely had the time to react and when he did, all he could manage was a step away and a few trembles of fear.
"He knows that we're here!" Oh no. Did that mean that demon king guy knew that he was here? Of course it did, what else could it mean. The question was, would it matter? Krillin had felt fear like this before and had faced the danger of death for the sake of others plenty of times but that was when he didn't have a daughter to take care of. Before he had a wife who trusted him to come home. Now he was too frozen in fear to move. He couldn't leave, he felt stiff.
With everything moving too fast to process, it took him longer than it should have to notice the pain that seemed to come from everywhere. He lifted his arms to try and get a good look at his hands. Try to see what was causing it so that he could stop it but this was something he had never seen before. Stone. He was turning to stone. His vision was covered inch by inch. The fear and the pain were enough that he couldn't stop his screaming.
Pitiful. Weak. Worthless.
He was surprised when nothing came after the blackness and the pain stopped. He was stone, right? That's what he could gather is what happened. He should be dead. The last image in his mind being the look on Goku's face while being unable to help. Of course Goku wanted to help. That was his entire being, wasn't it? Always saving everyone. Always showcasing the best part of humanity. Being the best of all of them at everything.
No. Push them away. Don't let it surface. Pain struck him but he had no clue where it came from. Of course if Goku was in this situation he would figure out what to do in no time. The pain stopped. There. If only he could figure out what he did right. Maybe he could get out on his own without help.
Stop. Why did he keep comparing himself to Goku? Sure, these thoughts were surfacing earlier because of Goku's return, but they didn't feel like they were being forced on him like this. This was rough. There was no ignoring them. The more he tried the more everything hurt. He was being forced to face them but he didn't want to. He was Goku's friend. He shouldn't feel this way about him, it wasn't fair to anyone involved. He shouldn't feel jealousy. He shouldn't feel bitter. He shouldn't feel anger. Goku never meant any harm towards him, so why should he be mad at him?
It wasn't Goku's fault. Even before anyone else knew his true origin, Goku was showing the natural talent of a Saiyan. That's all it was. A natural talent.
When did these feelings start? Was it when he was forced to cling to stop himself from falling through the fluffy yellow cloud? Was he jealous that Goku had a more righteous heart than him? Well, sure he was. That would only make sense. Krillin grew up in a temple. He was supposed to be the poster-child of purity and self-reflection. Nothing was meant to be impure about him but somehow a force beyond his understanding had deemed a random kid from the forest with no understandings of society to be good while he was left on the ground. But that was so long ago. Was Krillin not over it? Evidently not.
Maybe it was when Goku became closer to defeating Jackie Chun in their first tournament. That was when Krillin started to see how far ahead of him Goku actually was. Yeah, Goku always was ahead of him, wasn't he? Even from the beginning the gap was there, but he still resented it. Starting at a young age, Krillin had made it his entire existence to be strong. To be a better fighter. He got to relive that in his fight today but it really was nothing compared to when he got Goku off guard as a kid. When he used a Kamehameha to distract him, when he grabbed his tail, his one weakness, these were moments that he always looked back on fondly. They were the moments when he was ahead of Goku for just a second. But it never mattered. Those seconds never lasted. Even grabbing the weakness that should have left him motionless meant nothing if Goku beat him to it and trained said weakness away. Why was Goku always so ahead of him? Why was Goku capable of so much more? How could he defeat General Blue? How did he manage to stay pure enough for Nimbus while being the best at everything?
It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have been possible for someone to be that perfect. Krillin trained and worked just as hard as him and yet in every single way Goku was always ahead of him. Goku had a larger family, Goku was kinder, Goku was stronger, Goku was a better fighter, Goku was successful even in death and Krillin... Krillin was jealous. Krillin had always been jealous.
And now he was left frozen and helpless with the only thoughts in his mind being that jealousy and how much he hated himself for it.
He wasn't sure how, but eventually he was freed from being stone. There standing in front of him was...Goku? No, it wasn't Goku, it was Goten. The youngest son of his best friend. His best friend. That's right. That's what Goku was and it was with good reason. There were plenty of good memories of the two of them and too many of them were forgotten during his time in that darkness. Memories of the two of them getting in trouble together and facing all of the danger they came across head on. That's probably where Goku was right now. Facing whatever danger had left him in such a state. Come to think of it, this wasn't exactly a good place for children, which raised the question...
"What are you two doing here?!" He sounded panicked and he knew it but he also knew he had every right to be. What he just went through...there's no way that a kid should have to deal with that and he had made himself rather protective of Goten over the years. Sure he was worried about Trunks, too, but old habits die hard.
"You were a statue!" The boys looked like they were talking to a ghost.
"Oh, right!" He had forgotten after being frozen for so long how he even ended up like that. He looked at his hands as if worried they would start to change color any minute now while recalling what he could manage to remember. "That horned guy..." What was his name? "Dabura... spat on me, and I turned to stone!" It was still crazy to imagine. A power like that being triggered by saliva? How bizarre. Thinking of that technique, Krillin started to wonder if turning to stone really was all it did. It wasn't like him to feel nothing but the worst emotions for hours. He assumed it was hours. It couldn't have been longer than a day but it sure felt like an eternity. However long it actually was, being unable to recall anything pleasant at all no matter how bad he wanted to... that was something else. He'd have to ask Piccolo what he experienced during this time. If Piccolo wanted to listen to him. Heh. Probably not.
Of course, he could always just brush the whole experience aside. He could say that nothing he felt just then mattered. He could continue to ignore the bitter jealousy towards his friend by saying it was only influenced by Dabura but it wasn't. That wasn't a case of false emotions being created, rather, it was bringing them to the surface. Krillin was forced to face the feelings he didn't want to acknowledge and now he wasn't sure what to think of them.
Trunks let out a startled sound and Krillin was suddenly reminded to pay attention to the two boys in front of him. "What's wrong?" He asked.
Goten looked a little nervous as his eyes followed Trunks' flight over the rocks. "Trunks...broke...Piccolos statue." What? What? He broke it? What would that do? What did that do? Would he wake up in pieces? Would he wake up at all? Man, so much for asking Piccolo anything.
His worries were proven meaningless when Piccolo turned out to be fine. That was a relief and even though he was the tiniest bit curious, Krillin decided it was best not to question how he wasn't dead right now.
These two kids really were going to be the death of him but that wasn't new. When Goten was younger and Krillin would help watch him he would constantly cause problems that led to nearly insane levels of stress. Looking at Goten now and how much like his dad he was, Krillin let himself relax. There was a reason he called Goku his friend and he could never hate him. Even if he was jealous that the "pure-of-heart" Goku couldn't possibly have negative thoughts, it didn't mean he wanted him to change. That raised a good question, though. Would that strange technique even work if it was used on Goku? What "evil" thoughts could Goku possibly be forced to confront?
What would happen if it was used on Vegeta?