Nuwanda Hates

Disclaimer- I don't own Dead Poets Society.

Summary- Charlie thinks about Neil and his death. Not really slash just hinted at it.

We watched this movie in English class, best movie ever.

Charlie Dalton stood at the back of the crowd, his heart was aching in his chest. Everyone around him was silent with the tears staining their cheeks. Nobody spoke other than the occasional whisper of condolence towards Mr. and Mrs. Perry for the loss of their son. "We're sorry for your loss." "You have our deepest condolence." "Our heart goes out to you and your family." "Your son was a great man."

Charlie wanted to scream as he watched Mr. Perry nod his head in acceptance and rub his wife's back as she would start sobbing over their loss. Charlie watched as Meeks, Pitts and Knox all stood silently beside each other trying to shut out everything that was occurring around them. Todd Anderson stood by himself a large distance away from the crowd he was sulking as he stared off in the distance.

"Mr. Perry my wife and I would like to give you and your wife our deepest sympathies about your loss. Your son was a great man." Charlie felt a snarl crawling up his throat as he heard the high pitched sobs coming from Mrs. Perry, Mr. Perry just nodded.

"Yes he was a great boy and he had a great future. We just can't possibly understand what would drive him to do this." Charlie heard an unmistakable growl from somewhere near him and barely had time to realise it had been him himself as Pitts and Knox were grabbing him and dragging him away from just before he was able to lunge at Mr. Perry. Charlie shrugged off Knox and Pitt's hands and wandered away from everyone, ignoring the calls coming from the guys. It was all Mr. Perry's fault, it was all his fault Neil made a stupid choice and killed himself. And yet Mr. Perry was acting like the good little grieving father and the comforting husband.

Charlie hated Mr. Perry for forcing Neil into the life, the life where Neil had to do exactly what Mr. Perry said. He hates the fact that Mr. Perry drove Neil to this unfortunate way to escape.

Charlie kicks a old rock and he walks farther and farther away from the reception.

Charlie hates Mr. Keating. Well maybe he doesn't completely hate him but he hates the way the Mr. Keating told Neil to go against his father's wishes and perform in the play. Don't get him wrong Charlie was extremely proud of Neil for doing an amazing job in the play, but he can't help but feel angry at Neil at the same time. Charlie hates Mr. Keating for stopping Charlie when Neil got into the car with his father.

As Charlie continued walking he came to a stop at a old cliff, standing at the top he looked at the dark gray angry looking depressed cloud.

Charlie hates his friends. He knows that they are grieving about Neil's death but none of them understand just how broken he is over this whole ordeal. There all acting like the worlds has ended and everyday that is a reminder to Charlie that Neil isn't coming back.

Charlie hates Neil. He hates him so much for turning him into the weeping mess of a boy. Neil figured he'd go and take the easy way out, trying to solve all his problem, yet in the end it solved nothing. Charlie hates Neil for his irrational thinking.

Despite the hatred for everyone around him Charlie hated one person more than all of the others combined.

Charlie hated Charlie. He hated himself for not being able to stop Neil from getting into that car with his father. Charlie wishes he could have been able to stop Cameron from squealing on them but most of everything Charlie wishes he could have had a chance to tell Neil "I love you."

And everyday Charlie hates himself more and more for never getting the chance.

A.N I hope you enjoyed I would REALLY love to know what you think so please review.