My Version of Cyberchase
(Be afraid, be very, VERY afraid.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Cyberchase because if I did it would not be as childish as it is now. Read and find out what I mean.
"Whoa...I am SO high..." said Matt as he slumped down in his chair.
"I know. In't it great?" said his friend Tom. Both put their joints in their mouths and inhaled deeply.
"Isn't this stuff, like, dangerous?"
"Nah, the government just says that cuz they know it makes us feel good and they want to control us. But you see, man, they can't control us when we smoke pot, man, cuz it sets out minds free."
"Ooooh," Matt inspected his joint, "Can't you get addicted to this stuff?"
"Psh, I dunno. I've been doin' it for two years and I haven't gotten addicted," his other friend piped up, "I mean, besides the constant need to have some I'm perfectly find."
"Ya mean 'fine'."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what I said...fine...yea..."
"'Yeah' has an 'h', man."
"Right, I mean yeah..."
"We are so trashed," said Tom.
"Yeah, in't it great?"
"Dude, I just said that."
"Oh..."
All three of them sat in silence. Suddenly a huge, pink, swirling vortex appeared in the middle of the table. All three looked up at it.
"What the hell?" said Matt.
"Dude, maybe it's, like, a portal to another dimension..." said Mark.
"Dude, I think you're right," said Tom.
Just then, a purple hand rose out of the middle and grabbed Matt by the shirt.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yelled. The hand began to pull him in.
"Hey, dude, go with the flow. Be sure to bring back some space prostitutes," said Mark.
"That goes double for me. I haven't gotten any tail in a long time. I'm starting to feel like I'll never get laid again," said Tom.
"FUCK, GUYS! HELP ME!" Matt screamed, he was struggling against the purple hand.
"Dude, with what?"
"I DON'T KNOW! GRAB MY HAND!" he reached out.
"Man, I'm not going all the way over there. You're on your own."
"FUCK YO—" he was gone. The pink vortex disappeared.
"What was all that about?" asked Mark.
"I dunno, but I think I'm going to pass out now."
"Yeah, me too."
Matt fell onto a hard tiled floor. He saw his reflection and just sat there in the fetal position staring at his own face.
"Um, what is he doing?" he heard a female voice ask from behind him.
"I don't know," he heard a another female voice say, "Damn, them white boys got some SERIOUS issues."
"I think he's high," he heard a male voice say.
Matt wasn't paying attention to them, though, instead he was focusing on his face. Whoa, he thought, my face is so...there. He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. It seemed more...far away than usual. I was almost like he was in some type of warehouse. Or some type of space station. A girl's face appeared above his own and he stared at it, it being the only thing moving within sight. She wore rectangular-shaped glasses and had short, brown hair that was pushed behind her ears.
Another face appeared above his, a purple face. The purple man smiled down at him, "Hi," he said.
Matt squinted at him, "Dude, you totally have pointy ears and wings."
"Uh, yeah, I think I do. Very perceptive."
"Dude, speak English."
The girl rolled her eyes, "Marijuana. Out of all the boys in all the countries, you had to pick this one. I'm sure there was one a lot more capable."
The purple man shrugged, "Hey, he was fine yesterday. I think he was just experimenting."
Another face appeared above his, she was African-American and wore her hair in braids with extensions to make them longer. "Tsk, Tsk. Your boy's been smokin' pot."
"I believe we've already established that," said the other girl.
"Whatever. I think you might be wantin' to get yourself another hero."
"I concur."
The purple man looked up at them, "No can do, the threat is too immediate."
"Well, we can't have him incapacitated. We need to find some way to wake him up."
"Here, help me get him on the couch over there."
The purple man and the girl with the glasses lifted him up by his arms and wrapped them around their shoulders.
"No need, I'm perfectly fine," said Matt.
"No you're not," said the girl.
"Yeah I am. Honestly, I didn't smoke that much. Just get me a cup of coffee and I'll be fine."
The purple man shrugged, "Okay," he let go and so did the girl. Matt wavered a bit, but found his footing and stood firmly. He looked around the room. It was like the deck of a spaceship or space station with all of the panels with glowing buttons on them. He looked to the far wall. It wasn't really a wall so much as a really big window. The stars outside were still which told Matt that they weren't moving, meaning they were in a space station.
"I'm back," he heard the man say. He turned around to be greeted by a wave of shockingly cold water.
"HOLY FUCK! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Matt yelled.
"I think he's better now," said the purple man.
Matt glared at him, "Thank you so much. I really needed to be splashed with a bucket of cold water. What happened to the coffee?"
"Oh, here you go," he handed Matt a steaming cup of brown liquid. He smelled it.
"This doesn't smell much like coffee."
"Well, technically it's not. See, we don't have coffee around here so I had to improvise."
Matt scrunched his nose, "I see."
"Now, if we're all good and ready I think it's time for introductions."
The girl with the glasses stepped forward, "I'm Inez," she said, "And you are?"
Matt blinked, "Um...I'm Matt."
"Yeah," said the other girl, "And I'm Jackie."
The purple man smiled, "And I am your humble leader Digit."
"There's two things wrong with that," the four of them turned around to face the person that spoke. It was a tall man with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail. He was wearing a lab coat with nothing underneath but a black thong that was very becoming. He wore a pair of designer sunglasses and a wide-rimmed hat placed beautifully atop his gorgeous head. "One, you are by no means humble. Two, you're not the leader. If anyone is around here, It's Motherboard."
Digit scowled, "That's Dr. Marbles. You might want to keep that lab coat closed in front of the earth kids, you might scar them."
"Oh, shut up you insolent pigeon. I made you, I can unmake you. Got that?"
Digit smiled and pointed past Dr. Marbles at a large, floating, foggy, glass sphere, "And that behind Marbles is Motherboard."
"That's motherboard?" asked Jackie.
"Yes."
"I'M SORRY FOR MY APPEARANCE, CHILDREN," said a heavenly voice that echoed around the room, "I'M AFRAID THAT IS WHY I'VE CALLED YOU THREE HERE."
"What do you mean?" asked Matt.
As if in response, the large screen above Motherboard sprang to life with an image of a green man with a long black coat and long black hair. He was, quite honestly, hot as hell. "THIS IS HACKER, THE REASON FOR MY CURRENT FORM. A FEW MONTHS BACK HE INFECTED ME WITH A COMPUTER VIRUS THAT REDUCED ME TO NOTHING BUT THE THIN FOG YOU SEE BEFORE YOU. UNFORTUANELY IT'S GETTING WORSE EVERY DAY. DR. MARBLES DOES WHAT HE CAN TO HELP, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT EVENTUALLY I'LL DISAPPEAR LEAVING CYBERSPACE OPEN FOR HACKER'S ATTACK. I'VE CALLED YOU THREE HERE TO HELP STOP HIM AND RETRIEVE THE ANTIDOTE BEFORE I'M GONE FOREVER. PLEASE, WILL YOU HELP?"
"I'll help," said Matt, "It's not like I have anything better to do." Although Motherboard had no face to smile with, Matt felt a sudden warmness inside that told him he had pleased her.
"I shall do what I can," said Inez, she bowed her head slightly.
The four of them turned to Jackie who had, up until now, said nothing, "What y'all lookin' at me for? I ain't joinin' no pansy-ass team. I've got a nail appointment at five."
"PLEASE, NO TIME WILL PASS IN YOUR WORLD WHILE YOU DWELL IN OUR REALM."
Jackie bit her lip, "A'ight, I'm cool."
"THANK YOU ALL, AND ALTHOUGH I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO ABOSRB WHAT I HAVE TOLD YOU, I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK YOU TO BEGIN NOW."
"As you wish, Motherboard." said Digit.
So what did you think? Screwy, huh? I'm not going to continue if no one wants me to because then it's just a waste of both our time so I'd like feedback before I continue.