Title: Night of a Promise - Oneshot
Summary: Before the departure to Edo, Allen visits Anita.
Characters: Allen Walker, Anita, Cross Marian
Pairing: None
Rating: T
Warning: plot twist counts as one? Nothing really, I won't kill off anyone this time. Just foreshadow it.
Chilly autumn night air lightened the intense fragrance of the freshly extinguished incense. Light breeze blew in through the opened window that overlooked the still busy port illuminated by the rising moon, that seemed to emerge from the everlasting sea. Some candles aided the pale moonlight in brightening the lusciously decorated room.
Anita sighed in relief as she wiped off the last remnants of her makeup sitting by her washing basin then threw the cotton pad away in the trashcan. After she escorted the Exorcists to private bedrooms she planned out the course of their journey, she had to put her mathematic and geographic skills to use in order to get to Japan immediately and not run into some underwater roof. She was just about to change into her nightwear when she heard muffled voices from outside, one of them were Mahoja, she realised. Readjusting her clothes, she approached the door and slid it open to see an annoyed Mahoja tower over one of the Exorcists - and to her great surprise it wasn't the obnoxious redhead one. "Allen Walker," she spoke up attracting the two's attention, " was it, right?"
"Mistress," Mahoja gasped in surprise then turned her furious eyes back to the white haired boy, cracking her knuckles threateningly. "Look what you did, you woke the Mistress!"
Anita smiled at her reassuringly. "It's alright, Mahoja, let Master Cross's apprentice in."
Mahoja was in clear disbelief, but didn't object, instead she sent a withering glare which the boy took with a strained smile. Finally the bodyguard stepped aside and let him in and closed the door behind him, but both Anita and Allen knew she didn't leave.
"Come, sit down," the courtesan offered, motioning at a low table by the window, surrounded by pillows serving as seats; Allen accepted the offer. "Even though you are fairly young, you are a soldier, would you like some alcohol?"
To her surprise, Allen flinched. "No thank you, I'd rather not," He shot down the offer, laughing embarrassed.
Anita didn't push the matter. "Oh. How about some camomile tea then? It will help you fall asleep. Tomorrow you'll need to be well rested."
"Yes, I'd like that, thank you," Allen replied sighing in relief that liquor was out of the equation.
Anita's gaze lingered on the boy for a second then stood up to boil some water. She couldn't help but discreetly watch Allen from the reflection of the mirror. The boy was glancing out to the lamp-illuminated port, eyeing the waves of the dark sea deep in thought.
A few second later she was already pouring the prepared tea in a cup and offered sugar cubes, slightly surprised how many the boy dropped in it. She giggled. "Pardon my impoliteness, but aren't you a bit young for my services?"
Allen snickered into his tea. "I'm not here for that." He stopped drinking then placed his cup back on the table, his gaze meeting hers. "You seemed like you wanted to talk to me about something."
The woman raised an eyebrow at the claim. "Oh? You noticed?" her lips turned into a pleasant smile as she took a sip.
"Of course," Allen confirmed. "I recognise the look in your eyes." Anita's hands froze midair. She looked up to meet the boy's faraway look. "Envy… and jealousy. Because you want to be by his side," he finished as me locked his gaze with her.
The custom smile slipped off of her face, leaving a void expression behind. She casted her eyes to face her reflection in the hot liquid, ashamed for harbouring such emotions towards an Apostle of God.
She jumped a little when a gloved hand appeared to cover her trembling ones, she expected anger but instead a soft and understanding smile greeted her. "You'd like to ask me about Master, don't you?"
Unable to verbally answer, she resorted to a simple nod. Allen got the message; he gave her a small squeeze, then retreated his hand. "You don't have to feel shame for having those emotions, I know you miss him and feel concerned for him." He laughed pleasantly to ease the tension within her. "I'll tell him about you a bit," he promised smiling at her reassuringly. Anita felt her nervousness melt away from the gentle aura that the boy emitted; leaving her unease behind, she leaned just a bit closer curiously.
"It's been six years… no it's been a decade longer since we've known each other. A decade, yes. But he took me in six years ago when my father died and I turned him into an Akuma. Dad was the one to give me this scar actually." Anita was taken aback by the direction where Allen's story was heading, but Allen gave her a smile that implied that he knew what she wanted, but explaining his past would be important for her to understand.
"That was the first time my Innocence activated. It killed him," he paused a bit as pain flashed through his irises, a look that betrayed that this wound never healed, but he still continued. "I killed him. Master collected that me shortly before I died from hypothermia. He took care of me until I recovered and then took me as his Apprentice. We were always bickering about his bad habits, we kept playing pranks on each other all the time, aiming to drive the other mad." Allen gave a hearty chuckle at that, but then his eyes shifted into a faraway look.
Seeing him pause a bit too long, Anita spoke up to hear the rest. "He made you happy?"
Allen jolted, as if he was woken up from a dream. He gave an embarrassed smile, which took on a more melancholic edge. "Happy? … Not really… Or at least not the same way as I used to when Mana was still alive," he admitted quietly. Concern and curiosity mixed in Anita, she felt as if she suddenly was privy to a well-kept secret. "But I was content. He was a jerk but he looked after me." His mood once again lapsed back into a more bitter one. "Still… I can't help but feel that he wasn't really there. As if he did his best to not get attached to me."
He once again sought eye contact with her, seeing the confusion mar her face he gave an apologetic smile. "You know as an Exorcist who hosts an Innocence inside my body, my lifespan is a lot less than Equipment types. He probably expects me to die before him," he explained with a wry smile on his face.
Oh. So that's how is it. Anita's heart clenched painfully in her chest, her guilt once again berating her for having been inconsiderate of the boy's feelings. Not only he had to dedicate his life to this war, he even had to rot away from it. He most likely wouldn't see the end of it.
To carry such a burden so young...
He swallowed some more of his tea, then continued his story. "For a while I wanted to train to be able to protect him. To be of use of him. I know that I can't make him happy, but at least I wanted to make sure that he'd live to see the day when he could be. But it seems that my body simply can't keep up." The self-conscious move to move his right hand to his left arm - where the Innocence resided, she presumed - didn't escape Anita's eye.
Despite the hot drink she felt cold creep into her chest, did this mean the boy was near his end already?
"But that's okay," He spoke up again. "I don't really have a reason to live so I don't mind. It's alright, it'll be over soon."
The cup trembled in her hands hearing those words.
Upon realising Anita's horrified expression he smiled wryly again. "But don't worry, I won't go down without a fight!"
Anita swallowed uneasily. He wasn't scared of the boy, he was scared for him. "Allen, you seem to be very private person for me… why are you telling me all this?"
Allen gave her a smile that just radiated that he admired her smarts. "As I said, my end is probably near. I'll probably bite the dust in Japan. Master won't show it but it will hit him hard, he's the kind of guy who likes to look badass when in reality he's a softy. A sadist, but still soft." He snickered then his gaze turned concerned. "He carries a lot of burdens: guilt, regrets. He won't be able to handle it alone. That's why…" he ganced at her, his pleading silver eyes boring into hers to listen to his dying wish. "I'd like to ask you to look after him when I'm gone. With me out of the picture you could be with your father again."
Anita was frozen in place, she could only blink at what the boy just said before she let out a sigh. "... So you noticed."
Allen gave her the warmest smile she'd ever seen. "You took after him a lot you know, somehow you managed to inherit his good qualities," he jested, attempting to lighten the mood, but he didn't fool her. Allen sighed.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I stole your father…" he whispered into the night with a smile that wasn't really one; his guilt-free, but still guilty confession. "But I promise I'll be out of the picture soon. I'll be around just a bit longer… to make sure that he arrives home safely. Then the two of you can return to being family… and he himself can tell you about himself."
Her chest constricted painfully under the strong emotions. Guilt, sorrow, despair... She made her feel like a homewrecker when he dedicated his whole existence to protect that person. He did it for the man who saved him and the daughter who waited him back. He did it for those who have already been killed. He did it for the world that needed to be protected. He did it for the families that still existed, for his own has long been destroyed by his own hands.
Her head, heavy from the thoughts resounding in her skull, lolled forward. "Allen… please," she begged, "I know I'm being selfish with wanting to be by his side, but I don't want you to die." To accent her wish, she laid her delicate hand on Allen's gloved left one, startling him. "He talked about you, you know. I hated him for it, but then I realised it can't be helped; I'm not an Exorcist, I'd be just burdening him with needing to be constantly looked after. I envied you for being able to be with him, but I never knew of your hardships - that's what I kept telling myself, and I was right. He loves you. He cannot lose you. He needs you."
Once the minor shock dissolved, a smile was sent in her way, one that squeezed her heart in an unpleasant way; she felt as if he was apologizing. "... You are a good person, Miss Anita. Worrying over the guy who stole your father from you. And incredibly brave. But please, do your best to stay alive. For him."
"You never volunteered to be Exorcist. Not you, not him. But I'll try," she promised. "In exchange… I want you to live, Allen. I want to survive this war and live with Master Cross as my father and you as my brother."
Surprise was written all over his features hearing her wish; she could see the barest hint of gratitude and joy behind the grimace he was making. "... Ugh, weird uncle maybe, but sure, you would be a lovely sister."
She snickered at his response; the boy had mixed feelings for her father but despite complaining about them, Allen seemed to accept his flaws. "... Is that good enough?" she asked, her eyes seeking the answer in his. She placed a hand over his, squeezing it gently, as a reminder that she wants him to live. "Is that a good reason for you to live?"
Allen squeezed back the hand that held his. "I'll do my best. But still, if my body can't take it anymore then…. Please..."
Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them go; it should be the boy who should be crying, cry for his approaching doom and the loss of everything he loved, like a normal child, a normal person would, not this bitterly smiling resigned expression.
But this isn't an ordinary child, she reminded herself, he was an Apostle of God, who has been through more pain than any of the men in her crew. He had to fight and he knew it. He had to die and he was fine with it. Any other response and he'd be already dead. He had no choice but walk until his body couldn't take it anymore.
Looking in his eyes, she raised her cup, silently asking him to do the same. His eyes softened as he raised his own. "I promise."
XXX
Anita was only rumoured to be Cross' lover, we don't know whether she really loved him that way; don't worry this isn't meant to be some incest ship. Thank you for reading and please review!