AN: Hi, this is my first Harry Potter fan fiction. I'm from Ukraine so Im not very good at English yet, but I tried my best. Its about what happens after the books, when an evil wizard named Von Stäuer thretens the wizzarding world. plz read and review

London

Hermione Granger was in her father's office. Hugh Matthews Granger sat behind his dentist desk and stared at his only living child.

Hermione Grander stared at him. "Father," she said in that icy voice which turned down hundreds of lovers since high school, like that hunky captaon of the quiddotch teme Mike Suers or the local trans mutation wizz Stephen Paistley who had all been dating Hermione Granger. It was a voice that a man would murder for but that would murder him back if it found out about his infidlelity. Thatkind of heart-breaking soul stopping gut retching icy tone voce.

"Hi Hermione" said Hugh Matthews Granger, a older greyeing man who was geting on in years yet he was still muscular under neath that sweater his wife Bertha Blockhauser-Granger had made for him on the day he published his own first poetry collection as a way of celebrating. On either of his side stood two body gurads, but Hermione Granger didnt know their names, although she certainly knew that the muscular hunk on the right with a big hooked nose and lots of black hair seemed to apprecioate her bared legs.

"Hi...father" Hermione Granger looked at the sexy body guard.

"I have brought you here since theres something I want you to do" said Hugh Matthews Granger. "I want you to marry the son of Bernaldo Amarazzi, our rich Italian neighbor who wants to buy the rights to my latest book as a token of gratitude for you marrying him."

"FATHER HOW COULD YOU!"" Screamed Hermione Granger. "You CANT JUST TELL ME HOW TO MARRY!" It was as if a damm full of her desiruous hatred for her over baring dentist father with literary ambitions burst when he heard his words so cruel and now all she wanted was to jump into that body guards strong arms and let him dry her tears.

Glasgow

"FUCK IT!" Ginny shouted but she was not really angry, she couldnt stay mad at her husband, Harry, even though he was all ways out for long in the night and drank. When he came home every night he smells of alcohol and cheap lady perfumes and gets angry at every one.

but this night he had outdone himself.

She had seen him, accidentally, in his car. The car was of course standing still, and she could see through a window how Harry made passionate love to that skank Luna Lovegod! It was obvious, now that she thought about it. He had always been eying Luna, always looking at her perfectly shaped legs prortruding from under that mini skirt. He had always tried to be close to Luna, even after he and Ginny did their marriage vows. Harry would always talk to Luna and try to confort her.

"Damn that dipsomaniac cheating hsuband of mine!" Ginny said as she reached for another glass of the Chardoney. it was her fifth glass that evening.

Ginny sat there and decided to smoke a cigarrete although she had promis her therapist to give up smoking. Harry had really gone too far this time, and when he returned as usual and tried to pretend he hadn't been frenching passionately in the backseat with Luna she would demand a divorce. She
'd let him try to explain himself and then walk out on his spectacles-wearing ass.

"Maybe I'll go to Venezuela" she mused. her good friend Pansy Parkinson had gone to Venezuela to get a job in the telenovela business. In her last email she had said she had married the telenovela actor Juan Burita, famous all over Latin America, and that he treated her like a PRINCESS. But Gunny couldnt speak spanish, she would have to go some where else.

Then there knocked on the door...

Meanwhile in San Franscisco

"Uugh" groaned renowned auror Neville Dongbottom when the Death Dealer fired a magic blow on his chin. He fell back mouth open and landed on the hard asphalt. It was like receiving a blow from an iron hammer on the back, which is difficult to defend agaoinst. He rolled around and stood up.

"Come here, old geezer" hissed the Death Dealer. He wore glasses like John Lennon and had long silvery hair which glimmered in the cold San Franscisco sun "I'm going to kick your butt all the way to Cape Town!" he said from clenched lips.

"It will Never happen" said Neville and rolled up his sleeves "you want to kick my butt? Come take it, punk" Two years on the auror force had honed the loser into an ass kicking machine the like of which had never seen this world before, ready to take down any dark wizard or punk or death dealer who dared to go up aganst his wand.

Meanwhile at Ron!

Manwhile down in the intersection Ronald Weasley too was fighting a bunch of deliquent wizards. They were angered by dark hexes and drived by a fierce will to fight for their master, the wizard Von Stäuer, who had taken over Voldermorts role as the Hitler of the magic world.

Both of them had their wands lowered. The one on the left ran an hand through his greasy hair revealing a Nazi swastika tatoo on his forehead hidden beneath the front of his hair. "You've got no chance mud blood" said the Death Dealer "because we're two against one!"

Back with Neville!

The other Death Dealer glared evil at the innocent bystanderds. In his hand was a wicked hunting knife the kind Neville's dad used to gut fish when he and Farlane were out fishing back in his childhood. From experience Neville knew how deadly that wicked blade could be for a fish.

"I can't let them hurt all these innocents" said Neville to himself "It would be the end of my carreer as a cop - and I wouldnt be able to stand the shame!"

"Hmm" contined Neville to himself "maybe I can trick them to go around that corner,yes! Then I could trap them! They will stand no chance if cornered"

One of the Death Dealers swung his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"

"They are pretty strong" remarked Neville to himself "if I can get their hexes to tangle I should be home free" He did a small motion with the fingers "come here, malcreants" he hissed between clenched lips.

The first villain made a dive for Neville's backside but Neville caught the Death Dealer's wand in his hand and jerked hard. Grunting the villain dropped the wand leving himself open! Neville wasted no time but pointed at his enemy and screamed "expeliarmus!"

"How dare you, you bastard" said the other Death Dealer"I was thinking I was gonna let you go but now I have to kill you for sure! FOR VON STÄUER!" Then he took a long step and readied his long weapon, prepared to use it to bang Neville. But when he shook it against Neville's head, crying "crucio!", the auror simply lifted hs own iron wand and deflected the curse.

"Holy sh**t ths guy is cracy!" screamed the Death Dealer as Neville laid into him with the force of a magical tiger. He fell back hs face now bloody.

"Ron!" cried Neville when he saw his friend having problems at the hill. The wizard crimnals were surrounding him and taking turns to do horrible things to him. "Get off you DARK WIZARDS!" he cried with full might, then he ran to help to friend.

"Sh*t man" said one Death Dealer as he pulled a hand through hs mullet "he looks quite mad! I say we split, what do you say, dudes?"

"Yeah" sad another of his evil brethren.

"Looks like it" said a third one.

"No man, scr*w that man, I haven't gotten so for screwing this Hogwarts pig up yet!" He rose from the downed body of Ronald Weasley lying prone on the asphalt with his face to the ground.

"Stop screwing with my partner!" howled Neville as he fired expeliarmus at high speed and sent Death Dealers flying. Their SS uniforms were badly charred by the agressiveness in Nevilles magical attacks. "Ill KICK YOUR BUTTS!"

"No man don't!" said one Death Dealer. "We havent done anything I swear this dude was lying here and I was going to help him!"

"Then explain..." said Neville as his eyes narrowed like a Chinese in triumph "why he is naked?"

"We found him like that" said the first Death Dealer who was still in pain from receiving an attack from by Neville's wand to his soft areas.

"No man dont hurt us!" cried Death Dealer, "we're just doing what Von Stäuer tells us!"

"Criminals" said Neville and his hatred was obvious "I hate people like you who pray on the innocent! It makes me want to vomit! When I see people like you I just want to hurt people like you!" Then he swung his wand again.

"Man!" cried the Death Dealer as the pipe grazed the top of his mullet. Blond strands of mullet hair fell to the asphalt. He didn't waste a ny time but pulled out his knife and made a stab at Neville's private area.

"You can't cut me THERE!" said Neville and jumped out of the way.

"Come back, blackguard!" hissed the Death Dealer but then Neville just pointted at him and said "reductio!" The evil Wizard exploded in a cloud of blood.

"Look what you've done! You gave Herrman a beating, you naughty cop" said the second Death Dealer, "Im going to avange him. IN THE NAME OF VON STÄUER!"

"This guy is hard" said another Death Dealer and swore in German. "we cant stand a chance to him! Im splitting" he said then he ran of.

"Looks like its down to you and me, punk" said Farlane into the low Death Dealer who was pulling a hand through his multicolor mohawk. Adjusting his swastika badge, the Death Dealer pulled out a knife.

"You just gotta ask yourself, punk, do I feel lucky?" said Neville menacingly "well, do you, punk? Do you feel lucky?"

Then the Death Dealer made a wordless attack and aimed for Neville's lower abdomen. But Neville was faster and his iron fist descended with like a giant steam hammer shooting down to press aluminum on the evil wizard's head. But... nothing happened.

"Hahahaha" laughed the Death Dealer "I used magic to harden my hair into a protective helmet!"

"that's what you think, punk" sad Neville and pulled out his extra and ava kedavra'd miscreant.

"No one" said Neville as he kneeled before Ron's prone body, "threatens my partner and gets away with it."