Introduction
Did you realise what you did to me when you left me on that station all alone? Did you know what I would become?
Because if you did Doctor, then don't think you can just waltz in here and everything will be alright again. You've been all over space and time? Well whoop-dee doo. I've been to Hell and back again, and I can tell you this – it sure is overrated.
Prologue
When he first came back to himself on the Game Station, Captain Jack Harkness had nothing else on his mind other than the wonderful knowledge that he was alive, that for some beautiful, marvellous reason he hadn't been 'exterminated' by the Daleks.
This swiftly reminded him of exactly why he'd been in the line of fire in the first place, and he staggered to his feet, looking warily around for the metal invaders. But he'd found nothing other than several piles of grey dust, that when scooped up and allowed to trickle through his fingers somehow made Jack sure that they had won. He had no idea why, but he did know that he'd never been more certain of anything else in his life, barring the Doctor.
Then he'd heard it. The unique whooshing sound of the TARDIS.
He'd ran then, moving faster than he had ever moved in his life, even when escaping from the various monsters he'd encountered during his travels with the Doctor. But it had all been in vain – he'd rounded the corner only to see the blue box fading out of existence, leaving him alone on a station of death.
At first he'd tried to fight the urge to cry, but then he'd remembered that there was no one here to see him anyway, and he'd completely broken down, kneeling on the floor and sobbing. For once in his life, one sweet, brief time, he'd actually felt like he'd belonged somewhere. That there were people who needed him to be more than the shallow man life had shaped him into.
For the first time, he'd felt the urge to change himself, and had worked hard to erase the hollow man who had lived from one one-night-stand to the next, allowing himself to reach his full potential. When he looked into those wise eyes, he no longer felt like a spare part to life – he was Captain Jack Harkness, and he was needed.
How could the Doctor have done this to him? Made him care, made him believe in someone else, only to rip that feeling away from him and leave him cold and alone?
Left alone on Satellite 5, the infamous Game Station, Jack waited for the Doctor. If there was one thing he believed in, it was that man, and he was sure that the Time Lord would never let him down. Any day now, he'd hear the sound of the TARDIS again, and the Doctor would stick his head round the door, shoot him a smile and invite him in.
But he never did.
The days turned into the weeks. And still Jack kept his firm belief in the Doctor, living through each terrible, lonely day with the certainty that the Doctor would come back for him. He'd found food supplies in the sets of the old cooking shows and the canteen. Anything else he needed he'd pretty much salvaged from the abandoned staff bedrooms, trying to ignore the stiff corpses he found in some of them.
As the weeks turned into months, Jack found his conviction weakening, the light from that one remaining hope rapidly dimming as he realised that he'd been abandoned, tossed aside like the annoyance he'd always been sure the Doctor had always seen him as.
He knew full well that he'd rubbed the Doctor up the wrong way when they'd first met. Too much flirting with Rose, too much flirting with him…too much flirting overall, really. But as time had passed, he'd been sure there was a spark of friendship emerging, something that felt suspiciously like a deep bond being created.
And that kiss they'd shared…that one, single kiss as he said his goodbyes and left to fight…he'd never felt anything like it. Though as chaste as the one he'd given Rose, he'd almost felt the electricity, the deep thrill of attraction that only came from kissing someone you really cared for. He'd wondered whether this was what it would have been like if he'd actually confessed to the Doctor when he first began feeling this way, and sworn to himself that if he lived through this he'd rectify that mistake as soon as possible.
He had lived through it. But the Doctor hadn't stayed to hear his confession. And when people finally arrived from Earth, sent to do cleanup now that they were sure it was safe to do so, he went with them gladly, not stupid enough to believe that the Doctor was coming back for him anymore.
"I wish I'd never met you, Doctor."
Never had those words rung more true. They were no longer the blatant lie they had been, he thought as he gave his name to the Torchwood representatives who were giving him a lift back.
They were the reality.
Author's Note
Umm...I recently got into Doctor Who, and quickly became obsessed with the Doctor/Jack pairing. So this is my first Doctor Who fic, and I'm actually a bit worried about what the response will be - I normally write fics for the anime part of this site. I may have only watched the latest two seasons, but I promise that any references to earlier episodes will be thoroughly researched and not just thrown in.
Please read and review! It'll really help me know where I stand with this fic!