Epic Rap Battles of Christmas!
Fireball!
Versus!
Rudolph!
BEGIN!
Fireball:
Yo, it's fireball here, and I'm back for revenge
Flying hot, just like a rebel, living on the edge
You should've stayed at that circus, fool, you've even got the clown nose
I'll send my hooves into your face, make Rudy the Reject in repose
I'm back to call you names again, but we know that you're to blame
Get ready cause you ex-pal's gonna steal your fame
Now gaze at the fiery passion in my hair and eyes
Soon all the does will want my hoof print, time for you to say goodbye
Rudolph:
"Fireball the Redheaded Reindeer, had ketchup on his head"
"In a fight against the Aurora Guardian, he's as good as dead"
I'm taking off at red-lightspeed, while you're a fizzling piles of embers
You're no ball of fire, you bully, you're a burnt out cinder
I'll leave you dead and vanquished, like my nemesis Winterbolt
You're not South Pole buck, you're more like an MLP colt
You sure can dish it out, but you just can't take it back
I sure wasn't gone for good, and now I'm back on the attack
Fireball:
Hey, it looks like Old Neon Nose still wants more pain
I'll know you off the sleigh team now, cause I've got everything to gain
Any deer with a flashlight could've answered Santa's call
Better keep away from me you freak! Make way for Fireball!
Rudolph:
I performed at the Circus by the Sea, but no way am I joking
All bullies are cowards. If you led the team I know you'd start choking
"Then Fireball the Redheaded Reindeer, hung his head in shame"
"As Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, took first place in the Reindeer Games!"
Suddenly, everything went bitch black dark. A dark shape flew down at supersonic speed and landed soundlessly, stopping on a dime. It was a huge black reindeer with a candy cane in his mouth and dark sunglasses over his eyes.
Thrasher:
The leader of Prep and Landing has commandeered this battle rap
I'm crushing these two red reindeer fools into sap
My name is Thrasher, I'm a master, Prep and Landing perfection
Second cousin of Dasher, immune to all forms of detection
I shave my antlers smooth, painted my own chest black
Shatter candy canes with my jaw, go through 'em by the pack
Now let's see if either of you are fast enough learners
How many misfits does it take to show you cannot defeat Thrasher!
I'm a living urban myth as dark as my shades
My antlers cut through the air like a wrapping paper cutter's blades
Be warned little kiddies, your lives depend on this
Tell anyone that I'm real, and I'll made you not exist!
Through the darkness, a bucktoothed, weaselly looking reindeer slunk in.
Scratch:
They call me Scratch the dishonest, but I don't think it matters that much
Two freaks and a Matrix fanboy who eats candy canes for lunch?
Is that the best you got for Winterbolt's right hand deer?
Don't you know where I live, Thrasher? I'm desensitized to fear
I played you for a sucker, Rudy! I got away with it too
And Fireball, huh. Well, uh, wait, WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?
I'm as sly and sneaky as a reinsnake, I take and steal the cake
Underestimating the scrawny deer is the last mistake you'll ever make!
Scratch is suddenly receives a mighty uppercut to the jaw from a prehistoric looking reindeer that zoomed in out of nowhere, who then hovered energetically in the air.
Ice Age Prancer:
PA-POW! Knocking down the bad guy, the creeper, and the freaks
Going from zero to zing, clearing the tallest highest, tallest peaks
Check it out, sauerkraut, cause Prancer's gonna knock you out
Buckle up, buttercup, Air Prancer rules without a doubt
I'll rouse my whole family, take you down via mass attack
This deer is in high-gear! Vroom-vroom! Better watch your back
Things are gonna be different! I'm not failing, I'm gonna win!
Oh you think you're scary, Thrasher? Why don't you play some cards with Blitzen?
Say who you think you won in a review or PM!
I might add onto this in the future. I could put in Olive or Nikko or the reindeer from the Madagascar and Seasame Street Christmas Specials or something. I'll think about it later.
Also, check out the Prep and Landing and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer crossover "Prep and Landing: Rudolph" by MWolfL. I think it's pretty good.
Also, if you're wondering, I used the Karaoke of the first four parts of ERBParodies' "Eyeless Jack vs Laughing Jack" as a guide for this.
Characters:
Fireball and Rudolph from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"
Thrasher from "Prep and Landing"
Scratch from "Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas and July"
Prancer from "Ice Age- A Mammoth Christmas"