Falling away for a moment
C.D.J.B
Twilight Always
Circling the thoughts that never leave me
looking for the safest place to land
She is never far from my thoughts, those thoughts never stray far. She is beautiful, and funny, smart too. She was everything I had wanted and more, she was perfection when I looked at her. I had never known what it felt like, to want someone this bad, until I wanted her. She made me feel like i was on fire, like my heart was jumping out of my own chest. I had never known this feeling, I had never known what it was like to be in love. Not until I, Jacob Black, fell in love with Bella Swan. My best friend in the entire world.
She could not be anybody different
And I could never change the way I am
I had begged for her love, her attention, for her, so many times before. I had fought for her like she was the only thing I needed. But she loved him-she loved the vampire. The bloodsucker, as I like to call him. She loved him. And I couldn't change it, no matter how much I protested to her and myself. I could not make her not love him, just like I could not just stop loving her.
There must be something here that we can live on
Must be something here that we both need
In my eyes, she sparkled. A light glimmered off of her, her eyes shined with life, beauty and innocence. I saw my future when I looked at her, and for a moment, just a moment even, I thought she was really mine. I thought I had won, I thought she had wanted me back like I had wanted her. Just for a few minutes. But maybe I had only wanted to believe it; maybe I wanted to trick my mind into thinking it, just for a second. I thought I could convince her, change her mind.
I just wanna find a space to breathe in
And she don't want to miss a single beat
I couldn't find a single moment to relax, to let my mind fall on something that wasn't her, that wasn't her and him together. I just wanted to think of anything that didn't include my Best friend Bella and that blood sucker, everything I stood against. Everything I and my pack are destined to destroy. Just for one moment, I just wanted to forget it all, and let it all just fall away from me.
fall away for the moment
try my best to understand
close my eyes
than let go of her hand
I try my best to understand her choice; I try to understand that she is in love with him. But I don't want to understand, and I'd be lying if I said that I had been successful in trying to understand that. I just wanted her to be with me, I wanted to keep her. I just wanted to hold her, just lay there and hold her for the longest time. I wanted to fall asleep with her-like he would never be able to. I wanted to give her the life that I know I could give her, the life he never could. I know I could make her happy, if she just wanted to be happy with me. Someone who wasn't him.
Something's were not meant to be forever
Something's we were never meant to keep
And sometimes I would really love to stay and watch her dream
But I don't think it's time to go to sleep
My wolf body ran through the woods, dashing around the trees, jumping over the obstacles that fell into my path. I didn't feel tired, I didn't feel anything. I just felt the pain, the anger, the fury. She was marrying him. She was actually going to go through with this, and there was nothing I could say to stop it, nothing I could do. I could picture her walking towards him, beautiful in white, with her father by her side. Her eyes would sparkle; they would look so warm and kind. My Bellas eyes. Then suddenly in a flash I could see her eyes change to blood red, I could see it in my mind's eye, my biggest fear. What was worse than not having Bella? That would be Bella just being gone, changed forever. Into one of them, into what I hated and it disgusted me, it made my stomache turn and flip and made me want to vomit just at the thought of it.
Fall away for the moment
take in all the love I can
close my eyes
than let go of her hand
And it don't make it easier
it don't make it right
we're going round the hard way
tonight
I knew what I had to do, I knew I had to stop holding onto something I had already lost. But I wanted her so bad, needed her so bad. I missed her so much, it consumed me. But nothing consumed me more than these thoughts; the thoughts of what I was losing her to, of what she would become. I imagine the light going out in her eyes, and have to accept all over again that I can't change it. it wasn't right.
So I just keep running, and running, and running. Trying to outrun these thoughts, these images, these desires and this hatred. I can hear the rest of the pack in my mind; their voices are so loud pounding in my head, trying to calm me down. But I won't calm down, I can't calm down and their voices are just making me angrier, more frustrated and my speed increased. I was falling away from reality as I ran, trying to forget this just for a moment.
But I couldn't.
Fall away for the moment
take in all the love I can
close my eyes
than let go
AU: I hope you guys liked it, I haven't written on here forever but I'm going to start again, so give me a break this is a bit rusty and im not fully proud of it, but I have two more pieces i've been working on. I've definitely missed it so much. R&R please, it'd be appreciated.
This is a song fic, the song is Let Go Of Her Hand - Right the Stars
If you haven't listened to it, do it. It's beautiful!
R&R please.
C.D.J.B