Title: Still here

Rating: currently PG13, but will turn to M

Genre: Romance/Drama

Author: Idile

Prologue

It was the same as always. Another day she'd wake up from the sound of the alarm clock waking her and then she'd press the button to allow her to sleep at least five more minutes. Then she'd go to the shower and get ready to work.

She was living alone again now that she was legally an adult and she found it easier to earn money now that she was a graduate- things had been running quite smoothly ever since she finished High school.

Her parents had moved out somewhere to the suburbs where dad got a small office job in a furniture company. It was not a president's position nor was it of a chief executive's- it was a small position that none of her former colleagues at Eitoku would have even heard about. But I guess you could say the family was proud that her father finally managed to get SOMETHING to provide for the family of three. Tsukushi didn't need to help her parents now that she was living alone so it made things easier for her as well.

It had been about 4 years since he promised to come back and she could never get him out of her mind completely. She tried endless times saying that it was futile trying to hang on to him and her mind kept telling her he had probably long forgotten his childish love for her and was happy with someone else over in the United States. But her heart refused to listen.

The first year she would often walk by his house a few times a week to check for any sign that he was home again but she soon gave up thinking it was childish. She did visit a few times when Tsubaki was back, but it was always so cold and lonely in there and even Tsubaki couldn't really fill the emptiness.

It was HIM that was missing. It was always HIM. It was so frustrating! Why did she miss him? Why did she need him this much? Why couldn't she enjoy staying over at his house now that she didn't have to be worried about that witch mother of his walking in on her? And why couldn't she bring up the courage to ask Tsubaki how he was doing? Or if he mentioned her even once? Or... when he was going to come back?

So many questions haunted her...so many things kept pilling up and were too much to handle so she just locked them in. She wasn't sure what she was feeling… Trying to sort that out in her only caused her to feel pain, so after some time she began to think that he wasn't going to come back for her like he promised. Perhaps it was okay like this? Yes, it was okay… she was going to be fine. She was fine...was she?

Although her feelings were a mess as usual, the other things in life seemed pretty well-managed. She would work five days a week and during her spare time she'd either meet up with Yuki and Kazuya (who had recently become very friendly to each other) and have some cakes in their favorite coffee shop ( that was both cheap and cozy) or she'd spend her afternoons with Hanazawa Rui just sitting in the park or drinking tea somewhere calm.

With Hanazawa Rui she didn't need to talk very much- it was relaxing just being around him as it always had been. Her affections had faded long before those 4 years but she enjoyed his company nonetheless. He was there for her, as a friend, as someone who took all her worries away.

He himself had been happier recently as well, as Shizuka had one day called him and with a very confident voice said that she was going to come back to Japan and possibly work here. Just that simple statement of hers awoke his calm smile that suited him so well.

There were, of course, the other members of the F4. Soujiro and Akira were still quite the playboys they used to be, except with much more confidence and success. Even she had to admit, that they became even more handsome as they grew. It was fun being around them sometimes, but there were those "other" days too… They would ask her to go clubbing with them and then they'd just leave her in the middle of the room to go after some "willing" young girls! That was what convinced her NOT to try that out again with them. So each time she was invited to join Akira or Soujiro- she'd always have someone with her as well- just in case they'd get too "distracted" to remember having come with HER.

She met up with others a few times a year as well. Sakurako was busy modeling so she had to travel most of the time. Shigeru was always away as well, though she'd occasionally "pop by" Tsukushi's place to eat dinner with her without any good reason.

There was one thing that bothered her though…

For the past month every night she dreamt. And she dreamt of him. She dreamt that he was holding her gently but firmly against his chest, that he was kissing her softly and stroking her head, whispering soft words to her… Her dreams felt so real that she could have sworn that he was actually there with her- but every time she awoke, she'd be disappointed again to find nothing. To find that she was lying alone again even though the four years had long ended…

She awoke that morning as any other and was angry with her dreams as she had been recently.

"Why do I have to dream of Domyouji again? Why can't that idiot stay out of my head…Aaaaaaaaagh! Okay! Today I'm not going to dream of him and I'm not even going to think about him! That's right! No Domyouji Tsukasa today!" –she shouted to herself as she was walking out of the apartment. One thing she didn't notice though…- a small red button near her pillows…

Well… the intro to my story. Nothing special, but I hope I'll be able to develop things the way I want. Please review, I really appreciate feedback :))!