Shauna Is A Vampire. She Is A Good Vampire. She Only Eats Animal's. But Today She Murdered Frankie! That Makes Me Happy. She Ate Her Up. Then She Bit Dougie So Now He's A Vampire. She Tricks Dougie Into Eating Pills That Send His Hormones Through The Roof. He Rapes Me. Now I Am Pregnant With A Vampire Baby. This Is A Good Thing Because There Are No Voltori To Kill My Mutant Nudger. I Will Call It Renes- I Mean Haletcher Danny Poynter. Yaaaay. Now Im Going To Nearly Die So Shauna Makes Me Drink Blood. . Yum. . Shauna Goes' Away For Awhile. . For Some Unknown Reason. It Has Something To Do With Pattinson Though. . So Im Left With Dougie And My Best-Guy-Friend-Who-Loves-Me-Not-Really-He-Will-Imprint-On-My-Baby-Warewolf Daveob. Cool. Im Gonna Die Cos' I Broke My Back Cos' Bent Over. . . NOT IN THAT WAY YOU DIRTY MINX! No. To Pick Up The Remote Daveob Was To Lazy To Get. AAAAAHHH. Im In Pain. Now Its Operation Time. Woo-Hoo. Dougie Stuck A Needle In My Heart! The Bitch. No-Body Know's What Happens Now Except Im In A Lot Of Pain And Davob Can Only Hear One Heart Beating Or Something And He Wants Too Kill My Nudger-Baby-With-A-Too-Long-Name! Oooh. So Now Im A Vampire. But I Have To Wear Shades. . Cos' Its Sunny Out. Time For To Go Hunting. At This Point Shauna Is Back With Robert But She's Told Him That His Name Is Edward. So She Looks After My Baby Cos' Im Too Insane And I Will Eat It. I Smell People So I Growl At Dougie And Run Home In Misery. By This Point Shauna Has Mail Saying That Bertie Ahern And His Possie Are Coming Too Kill Me And My Baby Cos' He Doesn't Like Me. . I Have To Make Some Calls To Foreign Cunts Who's Name I Cant Remember. Now There All Here And They Are Gonna Help Me. So We Wait In The Baseball Field Near Tesco And Smell Them Coming Over. They Need New Shampoo. They Smell Gross. So They Start Throwing Rocks At Us. We Fuck Them Right Back! We Win Because The Leader; Bow And Arrow Doesn't Like Davob. So We Are One Happy Family. I Kiss Dougie As Tesco Closes. So Does Shauna And Edward. And A Bunch Of Other People Including; Lauren, Tom Fletcher, Danny Jones, Davob, Harry Judd, Hayley Williams And A Hobo.