"Jesse…," she whispered, smiling softly as the name touched her lips for the first time in what felt like an eternity. It was a forbidden name after all that happened.

Watching him stand there next to her window with her sheer lavender curtain gently billowing in the New York City summer breeze was so surreal. Pushing herself up in her bed that had been far too big for just her to sleep in this whole time, she rubbed her eyes to get a better look.

There he stood, wearing black like he always used to prefer. His hair was at the shortened length he had cut it to when he had taken on the role of Vocal Adrenaline coach. Of course she preferred his perfect longer curls, but that didn't matter to her right now. At least he was there.

The moonlight hit the side of his face and he glowed so perfectly. Perhaps it was because she had missed him for so long, but he seemed almost like an angel. Was he a ghost come down to watch over her?

"Jesse?" she murmured fearfully, hoping so badly that her hand wouldn't pass right through him if she got up and reached out. "Is that really you?"

His lips curved into a smile that she had missed so, so much. The sight of it alone made her eyes glisten with tears. He nodded and a few of them managed to fall.

This was something she had dreamt of for so long. It wasn't so crazy to be a reality. Some said it was when she voiced the dream long ago, but now she didn't feel so silly. She always wondered if there was a way for Jesse to have made it out alive of that nightmare. What if he hadn't died there in her arms at the laboratory long ago? What if there were other survivors? Men or women who could have helped him escape and saved him from death. What if after a year, he had finally come back to her and they could pick up where they left off?

Right now, her heart swelled at the knowledge that there would be no more time for what ifs. There would be no more time for those nights where she woke up in tears. She had managed to be fine throughout the day and attend all of her classes at NYADA, making it successfully through her first year with straight A's. She hung out with friends, attended auditions, and held down a steady part time job to fill the hours where she wasn't busy working towards her dream. To the rest of the world, she was fine. That all changed at night when she was alone and had the nightmares.

But tonight it all stopped.

No more nightmares. No more questions. No more living what felt like a half life without her soulmate nearby.

"Wait, I'm not dead… am I?" she asked, biting her lower lip gently as she thought it out. "You're not here to take me to some great big afterlife?"

Somehow, the thought of that didn't seem so terrible. Maybe it meant a premature death, but at least it would have been a peaceful one. And who better to greet her in the afterlife than him?

"No," he chuckled. "I'm really here. And you're really alive."

Hearing his voice again made her heart soar. Unable to stay seated any longer, she threw her comforter aside and sprung off the bed into his arms. He wasn't a ghost. He wasn't some imagined apparition either. He was really there and she could feel him. His skin so soft, so warm. She had longed for so many kisses over the past year, but she was just happy staying in his arms more than anything right now. She reached around his back and clung to his dark shirt as she buried her face into his chest, taking in his delicious scent that was so uniquely him.

"Oh god, it's really you," she whispered as she leaned into his embrace. "You feel so good. Hold me tighter."

He smiled and let his chin rest on top of her forehead like he always used to.

"I missed you so much," he murmured as he played with her long dark hair gently.

She looked up at him and let go of her grip on his shirt to move her hands up to his face and run her thumbs along his cheekbones.

"Why did you take so long?" she asked, unable to hide the hurt that spilled forth in her tone.

"It's a long story…" he murmured as he did the same to her cheeks with his on fingertips. "We can talk about it later…"

With that, he pressed his lips to hers and she completely melted against him. Reaching her hand up into his hair, she pulled him down closer to deepen the kiss and attempt to come close to satisfying the longing she had been feeling for him all this time. He skimmed his hands down her sides and stopped at her legs, tugging one up to hook around his hip. She quickly jumped up into his arms without breaking the kiss for a second.

"Please," she whispered, her voice almost a low whine. "Please."

"Please?" he murmured curiously as he trailed kisses along her jaw.

"Make love to me again," she whimpered.

"Like you had to ask," he replied, pulling away a little to smile up at her. The moonlight glistened in his eyes and she could see that old look that she knew he only gave her. It was a look of total and complete adoration and so full of life.

He kissed her one more time before carrying her over the short distance to her bed where he gently dropped her down onto her back. She quickly sprang back up and reached for the hem of his shirt before he could even climb completely onto the bed with her. Tugging it quickly over her head, she ran her fingertips down the expanse of his throat and down to his chest. She frowned slightly when she didn't feel a scar where it happened.

"I love you," he whispered as he pressed his lips to hers again and her concern disappeared.

In the midst of the kiss, he reached for the buttons of her nightgown and undid them as quickly as he could. Her hands were busy seeking the zipper on his jeans to rid him of them. She pushed them down as far as she could and he kicked them off the rest of the way. In no time, they were both completely bare together for the first time since they first made love that fateful night a little over a year before.

Her lips curved into a smile as she felt his own dropping down sweetly along her neck and collar bone.

"Say it again," she whispered, watching him trail his kisses down to her breasts.

"I love you," he murmured, coming back up to her lips for more and lacing their fingers together. "Forever…"

"And always," she smiled, feeling her eyes well up all over again as she tightened her grip on his hand.

She let out a sharp gasp when he finally entered her, moaning out his name when he wasted no time and started working up a steady pace of thrusts that had her clinging to him with so much need.

"I love you, too," she moaned, digging her nails into his back and kissing his jaw. "I love you so much. So so much."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled him closer, wanting to feel as much of him as possible now that they were one again.

"Don't cry," he whispered, nuzzling his nose against hers as he slowed down.

"Can't help it," she murmured, running her hand against his cheek again. "But please don't stop."

He nodded and grabbed her hips, pulling her over him as he rolled over onto his back.

"So beautiful," he whispered as he took in the way the moonlight hit the side of her face.

"You are," she murmured as she began moving on top of him.

They moved together so perfectly and worked their way up to their undoing and simultaneously cried out each other's names as they achieved their release. Her head flew back as she savored in the pleasure washing over her, coupled in the feeling of him sitting up and nuzzling his lips against her neck.

"Oh god…" she whispered as she looked back at him.

He kissed her gently and that only made her smile against his lips as they laid back. She lay on his chest listening to the soothing beat of his heart thumping away as proof more than anything that he was really there.

"I can't wait to do everything with you now that you're back. We can see Broadway shows… go to auditions…"

He smiled and nodded as he ran his fingertips up and down her back.

"Become stars together…"

He stopped and left his hand gently on her back.

"Everything…" she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut as the sound of his heart beating began lulling her off to sleep.

It beat away so perfectly, serving as the most beautiful sound she had ever heard in her entire life.

That was until it stopped.

For a second, she thought nothing of it, figuring she was drifting off to sleep and a dream was on its way. But then she heard the sound of a car driving past her building outside and she knew she was still awake. Her eyes opened again when she realized she was also no longer feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took. That was because he wasn't breathing.

"Jesse?" she whispered, pushing herself up to look at him and her eyes widening in horror as she realized the wound on his chest had now re-appeared and he was bleeding out all over again.

"No!" she cried, beginning to attempt to perform CPR. "Don't leave me again. Don't go, please…"

But his skin was so ice cold already and she knew it was too late. Looking up at his face, she saw that his eyes were open a little. The moonlight reflected off those blue-green irises once again, but all the life in them was gone.

"Come back… Jesse, please come back!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his neck.

"Please!" Rachel cried, sitting up in bed with tears already streaming down her face from before she had even woken up from the nightmare.

She looked around herself slowly and realized how alone she really was in that bed that was still too big for her. Realizing that she had been plagued by that nightmare once more, she grabbed her legs and pulled them against her chest as she sobbed. Trying to breathe, he wiped her face with the back of her hand and reached for her phone. She hit a number on speed dial and ran her hand through her messy hair.

"Hey… I know it's late," she mumbled, trying not to sound like she had just been crying her eyes out. "I just… I really need you to come over right now. Please?"

She nodded even though the person couldn't see.

"Please come over as fast as you can… I'm sorry…I just... Thank you."

She ended the call and set the phone down before pulling her legs back up to her chest again as she waited.

Her eyes drifted over towards that spot next to her window where Jesse had stood in every dream he had visited her since he died. The window was closed. The curtains were still. The spot was empty.

Jesse was gone and as much as she dreamt about him coming back to her, he was never coming back again.

Downstairs, a young man stood at the front of the building, waiting for Rachel to buzz him in. Across the street, a pair of eyes behind dark sunglasses followed him until he disappeared in the building. The observer looked up at a particular window when he noticed the silhouette of a woman up above. Running his hand through his hair, the man turned on his heel and disappeared into the subway entrance nearby.

Back upstairs, Rachel pushed herself up and tried to fix her hair as best as she could in the mirror. She wiped her eyes as best as she could, but a few tears still slipped down her cheeks. A knock at the door pulled her from what she was doing and she gave up on trying.

Rushing to the door, she pulled it open and stood there sheepishly as he stepped in. She shut the door behind them and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Kristian…" she whispered. "It was so bad this time…"

"I know…" he whispered. "I know…"

"Stay with me, please."

He nodded and grabbed her hands to lead her back into her bedroom.

She tried to smile for him, but it was impossible right about now. It was alright because he wasn't smiling either. Past the tiredness, he looked almost as tortured as she felt right now. He was Jesse's brother, after all, and he had watched him die, too. Every time she called him in the middle of the night was a brand new reminder if he hadn't been thinking of him already.

But they always found their ways to cope.

"Come here," he murmured, pulling her lips to his as he pulled her down with him onto her bed.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, closing her eyes as she felt him removing her nightgown. "I didn't think I'd need this anymore."

"It's okay," he replied as he tugged his shirt off and undid his jeans. "I still need it, too."

Her eyes opened and she let them blur for a second, smiling for the first time all night when she tricked herself to believe it was Jesse for a quick second. In the darkness, the resemblance was almost passable. But soon enough her vision corrected and she saw Kristian St. James, a man whom she also loved, but in a very different way. His dark eyes reflected the moonlight a lot differently, but they still made her feel safe and warm.

"Thank you," she murmured as she pulled him back to her, moaning softly when he entered her. "Oh god, thank you…"

She dug her hand into his dark blonde hair and tugged, liking the feel of it, but knowing it just wasn't the same. It would have to do, though.

They both tried not to think of what his brother would think if he knew. The first time it happened, he had to stay with her for the rest of the night as she cried from the guilt. He had never put so much concern in a woman before, but right now, Rachel was really all he had left. After losing his mother, Jesse, as well as the disappearance of his sister, he was all alone in this world. He had made a promise to take care of Rachel and every time he came over in the middle of the night to fight away the terrors, he knew he was doing just that… even if it was in a twisted sort of way. They had grown to depend on each other after so much and sometimes it didn't feel so wrong.

Rachel clung to him and moaned his name softly, feeling terrible for it as she did. It was wrong, but it was right. These were the nights where she needed it and she really couldn't be blamed. At some point, she was expected to try and move on with someone else, and she didn't see why it couldn't be Kristian. He had quickly become one of her best friends after they escaped the mansion a year ago. Looking into his eyes, she wondered the same thought she wondered each time they hooked up. Could she be with him forever if he asked? The thought made her heart tug, though, and she quickly dispelled it and let herself sink back under his spell.

Half an hour later, they were both tangled up in each other on the bed with Rachel's head on his chest.

"Feel better?" he asked, just like he always did when they came down from their high.

In all honesty, she felt as broken as ever, but now there was a strong glue within all the cracks holding her together.

She nodded silently and closed her eyes, letting the sound of his heartbeat lull her back to sleep. It wasn't the heartbeat she yearned for, but it was close enough.