Satanira- Hey, people! Guess what? I found a muse! glomps Chibi
Hiroyuki
Chibi Hiroyuki- Not only did I get a pay raise, but I've also been promoted, and a hot babe's glomping me. Ah, life is perfect....
Saotome- Chibi Hiroyuki no baka! whacks CH w/a frying pan
Satanira- He may be a hentai-ish idiot, but he's still my use, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill him, Sao.
Saotome- Kay. walks away humming
Chibi Hiroyuki- Now, in my new post as Head Muse, I command you work on Randomness once you've uploaded this!
Satanira- Kay! plops down at da comp and gets to work
Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing, Trigun, or any related materials.
Warnings Mild Dorothy-bashing, heavy Relena-bashing, yaoi, yuri, general insanity, major OOC warning
Fear The Eyebrows!
"Yikes." Satanira said, blinking repeatedly at her laptop. "That right there's a scary thought."
"Shut up." Heero's image muttered crossly. "Look, I really hate saying this, but we need you for this. We're not sure how these idiots got a hold of your technology, but they did, and only more of your mechanical magic can counter it."
"Did you just ask me to help you?" Satanira gasped in mock- disbelief, absently brushing light blonde bangs out of her shining orange eyes. "I do believe I'm going to faint."
"Goddammit, woman!" Heero snapped, giving her one of his patented Heero Yuy Glares-O-Death [TM]. "Stop fooling around! This is serious! Do you know what kind of things they could bring back from other dimensions?"
"I do believe I already said that that right there's a scary thought. Of course I'll help you. How can I pass up a chance at an all-expense paid interdimensional mission/trip? When should I be there?"
"Day after tomorrow at o-five-hundred hours."
"FIVE O-FUCKING-CLOCK IN THE MORNING?!?!" Satanira demanded explosively. "I'm going to go take a nap." She muttered. "Five o-clock in the morning. I can't believe you fucking military types. See ya, Hee- chan."
"Don't call me Hee-chan!" Heero yelled as Satanira waved cheerfully and ended the call.
"Oh, Heero, if you only realized." Satanira sighed happily, shaking her head at the blank screen. "If you only knew."
Two Days Later
Satanira yawned hugely in response to Duo's question of how she was feeling. She felt that was answer enough, and saying she was feeling tired would be utterly redundant, so she remained silent as she waited for Quatre and Trowa to finish packing breakfast.
A ridiculous thing, packing breakfast. Breakfast was meant to be eaten at the table with fresh coffee, family and friends, and sleepy chatter while everyone tried their hardest to wake up. The only meal Satanira thought should be eaten on the run was lunch, and that was only if it was with friends in the midst of some fun and energy-burning activity.
"Eating breakfast on the run should be a crime." She muttered crossly, glaring at the individually wrapped bacon egg and cheese sandwiches Quatre was stacking neatly in one of the thermal coolers. "Either you eat it at a table like you're supposed to, or you go hungry till your morning snack."
"You sure are an opinionated woman." Duo observed, far too awake and hyper for five in the morning.
"And I've got a gun." Satanira said around another heavy yawn.
"I'll bet you do." Duo agreed, edging away slightly.
"Shut up, Maxwell." Wufei muttered crossly as he sipped a steaming mug of strong black coffee, much closer to Satanira's idea of morning awareness.
"You guys are no fun in the morning." Duo complained.
"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious." Satanira said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "When you discover that my hair is yellow, please do tell me. I'd hate to miss out on something else I already know."
"Hmph." Duo hmphed, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Bad news, guys." Heero said suddenly. "We have to go undercover as couples for this mission."
"Oh, oh, oh! I want Wu-man!" Duo exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.
"Boy/girl couples, baka." Heero corrected. "Which means we'll have to find some girls to take with us."
"Catherine, Dorothy, Sally Po, and...." Quatre paused, not sure of who else to name.
"Let's get them over here for now." Satanira said. "If one of them happens to bring a friend, our problems are solved."
One Huge Mistake Later
"If I'd known Relena was over at Dorothy's I'd never, ever, ever have considered calling her." Satanira groaned.
"It's all right, Nira-chan." Catherine said soothingly, patting the young blond's back. "Hindsight is ever perfect. You've said so yourself plenty of times."
"I know." Satanira agreed, her voice muffled by the fact that her face was currently buried in her hands. "I know. But that doesn't change the fact that she's here and we have to deal with her."
"Yes!" Came a shout from the next room, which sounded suspiciously like Heero. "Yes! Saved! I've been saved by an angel in disguise!"
"You think he might have to pretend to be Relena's boyfriend and snapped?" Sally Po asked, quirking one eyebrow.
"No, I think he gets to be someone else's boyfriend for the mission, and was so overwhelmed by his good luck that he forgot he's supposed to be emotionless." Satanira offered, grinning, just as the object of their discussion burst into the room and glomped (A/N- yes, glomped. He's being human for once. Didn't you see the OOC warning?) Satanira.
"I get to be your boyfriend!" He shouted excitedly, rubbing his cheek against her chest, totally oblivious to the pounding he was earning himself. "You've saved me from the psycho brunette bitch from hell! I love you forever, Nira-chan!"
The psycho brunette bitch from hell walked in then to see the object of her obsession latched onto and professing his love to the crazy blonde fiend from Hades. "What did you do to my Heero?" Relena demanded, pointing an accusing finger at Satanira.
"I suppose you don't notice that I happen to be effectively trapped and have a man's face stuck to my chest, then?" Satanira asked quietly, one eyebrow twitching dangerously. "And since when is he 'your' Heero, huh? I could have sworn he belonged to himself, not you!"
"He's always been mine!" Relena shrieked as the other boys came out, each holding a different color straw.
"Come, Miss Relena." Quatre said politely, taking the ranting teen by the arm and steering her out of the room. "Let's go buy you a nice pink sundress. I hear it's quite warm where we're going, and a perfect place to tan."
"Really?" Relena asked, completely forgetting about her precious Heero at the mention of pink clothes and good tanning spots.
"Oh, yes." Quatre assured her with a sweet smile. "I think we should get you a new pair of sandals as well. Feet as delicate as yours will need to breath. And sun block. We wouldn't want to ruin such lovely skin, now would we?" The front door closed on a squealed, "Q-chan, you're always so nice to me!"
"Now that she's gone," Duo said, snorting with amusement as Satanira began banging Heero upside the head repeatedly with a frying pan. "We all drew straws, and the assignments are as follows: Heero and Satanira, Quatre and the psycho brunette bitch from hell, Trowa and Dorothy, Wufei and Catherine, and me and Sally Po. Let's all go get our stuff together, and don't forget to only pack summer stuff and lots of sunscreen. We're going to be using more of the wonderful Miss Satanira's mechanical magic to store stuff for other seasons, so don't worry about that." Duo grinned boyishly as he swept Sally Po off her feet and carried her towards the stairs. "You and me, Sal, we gotta get our stories straight." He said cheerfully.
"He's having fun." Catherine observed with a smile. "Well, Mister Chang, we also have some things to discuss while we pack. Lead the way."
"I think I like you, woman." Wufei commented. "I really think I do."
"Hey, Nira-chan!" Catherine called from halfway up the stairs, struck by a sudden thought. "If you keep knocking him around like that, you won't have anyone to buy you stuff on this trip!"
"Meanie!" Satanira called back, although she did put away the frying pan and drag Heero off to see what kind of stuff he'd packed, Leaving Dorothy and Trowa alone in the living room.
"Shall we gather my supplies, then?" Dorothy suggested, smoothing one of her odd eyebrows.
"....." Trowa agreed, gesturing for Dorothy to take the lead.
Several Days Later, Planet Gunsmoke
"Wow!" Relena exclaimed, staring at a particularly adorable doll placed on a shelf above the shop counter. "Q-chan, can I have that one? The one with red curls and the long pink dress? Pretty please?" The brunette had decided that being Quatre's girlfriend, if only for this one mission, was much better than being Heero's, judging by the amount of fights he and Satanira had on a daily basis.
"You're wish is my command." Quatre said with an extravagant bow that brought his wallet into the open. "How much for the redhead in pink?" He asked the shopkeeper, who laughed at the two.
"You really love this pretty young thing?" He asked, turning to take the doll down. "Thirty double dollars."
"Yes, sir." Quatre replied, taking out the required amount of Gunsmoke's planetary currency as the shopkeeper carefully packed his purchase in a small box. "Very much so." And that wasn't entirely a lie, either. Quatre had found himself falling for Relena since discovering that, apart from her obsession with Heero, she was actually very sweet, though childish at times.
"In that case, I'd like you two to have a little something extra." Another small box was placed on the rough wood and opened to reveal two matching antique bracelets, beautifully crafted of twisting silver and gold ropes. "These were meant for my son and his wife, but I never did have a son, and now that I've no one to mother one, I'd like you to have them."
"Sir, we couldn't possibly accept these!" Relena exclaimed wonderingly. "They must be very precious to you!"
"What good are precious things to someone as old as me?" The shopkeeper countered, removing the bracelets and clipping one onto Relena's wrist and the other onto Quatre's. "Since I've no one to leave them to, it only seems right that two as in love as you seem should take them, so you can give them to your oldest son. Now make this old fool glad and accept them."
"Gladly." Quatre said suddenly after a long silent moment. "I have no father to give me such a thing; perhaps we can look on each other a surrogates."
"I'd be happy to." The shopkeeper agreed, handing the doll to Relena and bidding the children good-bye.
"Thank you so much, sir!" Relena called as she ran out the door after Quatre, her pink skirt billowing in a soft, hot breeze.
Since she was too busy staring at the bracelet around her wrist to watch where she was going, it was no wonder she ran into someone and fell, the box from the shop flying out of her hands.
"My doll!" She exclaimed, looking frantically around for it.
"It's okay; Needle Noggin caught it." The person she'd bumped into, a tall man with black hair and gray eyes, in dark clothing with a giant cross on one shoulder, said, offering her a hand up.
"Needle... Noggin?" Relena repeated, confused, and she accepted the man's hand.
"Relena, are you all right?" Quatre was suddenly next to her, checking her palms, elbows and knees for bruises or scrapes.
"I dropped the doll." Relena mumbled, suddenly flushing with embarrassment. Quatre had just spent $$30 on that doll for her, and she'd gone and dropped it.
"Who cares about the doll?" Quatre asked, producing a clean square of light blue cloth from nowhere and gently wiping her left palm. "You're bleeding. That, I think, is a little more important than the doll."
"He's right, you know, Miss." Another man, this one with spiky bright blonde hair and aqua eyes dressed in a bright red overcoat said, holding out the box. "But you're all right and the doll's all right, and that's all that really- hey! That's a neat bracelet set you two are wearing! Where'd you get those?"
"Don't ask so many questions, Needle Noggin." The dark man grumbled, putting on a pair of dark sunglasses.
"Mr. Vash! Mr. Wolfwood!" A tall woman with long brown hair dressed in yellow and green called, waving excitedly. "Merle-sempai says it's time to leave, before-" The giant of a woman was cut off by the sound of panicked screaming.
"I didn't do nuthin!" The blonde exclaimed, throwing both hands up at shoulder height. "You were with me the entire time!"
"Dorothy." Quatre and Relena said simultaneously.
"Dorothy?" The dark man asked. "Who and/or what the hell's Dorothy, and how could she and/or it be causing this?"
"... I think you should come with us and see for yourself." Relena suggested, smiling apologetically at the three adults as she took off after Quatre in the direction of the sounds of chaos.
The Site of an Impending Riot
Trowa sighed inwardly, shaking his head. Dorothy was a very nice girl, intelligent, and didn't mind in the least that Trowa himself rarely spoke. But she seriously needed to wax those goddamn eyebrows of hers. It was cursed hard going undercover with a partner that struck fear into the hearts of millions with her facial hair.
"....." Trowa suggested delicately, glancing around at the panicking citizens who could soon become a crazed mob.
"But the hat makes my hair get all mushy!" Dorothy complained, although she did reluctantly take out the floppy blue hat they'd picked out and jam it down on her head, effectively hiding her eyebrows. "I don't get what all the fuss is about ,anyway." The blonde pouted, and Trowa didn't want to be the one to enlighten her on the subject.
"....." He said instead.
"Oh, I wanna go to that place we ate at this morning!" Dorothy exclaimed excitedly. "You're buying, right?"
"...."
"Good. I left all my stuff at the hotel."
"Dorothy! Trowa!" Quatre's young voice called behind the couple. "Wait up!"
"Dorothy! Dorothydorothydorothy!" Relena yelled, sounding closer than Quatre, although she was really a few yards behind him. "Dorothy, you just gotta see what Q-chan got for me!"
Quatre and Relena caught up to their friends, followed closely by Mr. Wolfwood, Mr. Vash, the brunette giant, and a small woman the giant called Merle-sempai.
"This is Dorothy?" The blond asked, looking Dorothy up and down. "How can she cause a riot?"
"......." Trowa said.
"But you just told me to put it on!" Dorothy shrieked, earning her strange stares from three of the adults, who were certain Trowa's mouth hadn't moved a millimeter.
"........"
"Oh. Okay, then." Dorothy sighed, reaching up and pulling off the sunhat.
"Argh!" The giant woman shrieked, scrambling backward into a wall as her partner fainted dead away, the priest dropped to his knees and began praying frantically, and the blond man stood staring, too frightened to move.
"I...see what you meant." Vash finally managed to say, as Dorothy put her hat back on.
"But remember, Trowa-chan, you owe me the biggest ice cream they have in town!" Dorothy reminded the Unabang crossly.
"........." Trowa agreed, taking his pretend girlfriend by the arm and steering her towards the nearest restaurant.
"Good. I always thought you were a man of your word, but a girl can never be too careful nowadays."
"What word?" Wolfwood demanded, scratching his head in confusion. "He didn't say anything! Is that chick insane?"
Quatre smiled tolerantly up at the priest, truly pitying anyone who couldn't understand Trowa's silent language.
"Are you going deaf or something?" Vash asked, staring at Wolfwood. "He just said he never goes back on a promise. Couldn't you hear him?"
"Actually, no, Needle Noggin, because he didn't say anything!"
"Yes, he did." Relena said crossly, not liking the way Wolfwood was talking to the man who had saved her doll. "And if you didn't hear him, then I feel sorry for you!" With that, she skipped over to Vash, stood up on tip-toe, and kissed his cheek before sauntering off after Dorothy, keeping a lookout for the others.
"Doesn't that girl of yours have any manners?" Wolfwood asked Quatre, blinking as he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.
"Never insult Miss Relena in my presence again, or you will regret it." The blond Arabian warned quietly. "Am I understood?"
A Few Streets Over
"Catherine! Wufei! Wait up!" Relena called cheerfully.
"Hey, Relena!" Catherine called back with a forced smile, waving.
"I'm going into that weapons shop." Wufei said shortly. "It wouldn't do to kill the onna."
"You want to calm down so you go look at weapons?" Catherine asked the air as the Chinese pilot stalked away. "Really smart, Wufei. In-friggin- genius, you baka."
"Catherine, you just have to see what the shopkeeper at the doll store gave me and Q-chan!" Relena exclaimed, skidding to a halt in front of the brunette knife woman. "Look!" She held up her wrist proudly, displaying the antique bracelet for her 'friend.'
"Oh, my god!" Catherine shrieked, reaching out as if to touch the piece of jewelry, then stopped herself, afraid she might damage it. "It's beautiful!"
"I know." Relena said, sighing happily. "The shopkeeper said that since he had no kids to leave them to, he wanted to give them to us."
"Give?" Catherine questioned, surprised. "This looks like it costs a fortune! And he just handed it over and said, 'here, you can have it'? Relena-san, you have got to be the luckiest girl in the universe!"
A Shop Nearby
"Woman, will you stop that?" Heero demanded angrily for about the twenty-millionth time that day.
"No." Satanira stated firmly, wrapping her arms even tighter around the Perfect Soldier's arm. "The deal was that since I saved you from being Relena's boyfriend, I get to do anything I want. That's appropriate." She added at Heero's Glare of Death. "You know, it's too bad you can't bottle and sell that indifference." She continued sarcastically. "You'd make a killing."
"Look, woman, you're starting to wear on my nerves, so stop it!"
"Twenty million and one." Sally Po said, chuckling.
"Actually, I think it's twenty million and two." Duo countered, picking up a small, curved throwing knife. "You think Cathy would like this one?"
"I think these suit her better." Satanira countered, freeing one hand long enough to point at a stainless steel knife kit of ten blades. Each was a different length, with a different symbol carved into the otherwise plain handle.
"Yeah, those are much better!" Sally Po exclaimed, picking up the smallest one. "She'll love these!"
"So we've got our circus girl taken care of, and now we can eat!" Duo exclaimed, snatching up the kit and bounding to the counter.
"He gets no sugar." Heero said crossly as Duo paid. "No sugar whatsoever for the next twenty-four hours."
End Chapter One
Satanira- Yay!
Chibi Hiroyuki- What to go, Boss-Babe!
Satanira- (glomps CH) You're the best muse ever!
Chibi Hiroyuki- (drools in a hentai-ish fashion)
Satanira- Also, to all fans of a certain blond Arabian, sorry about the whole making Q-chan fall in love with the psycho brunette bitch from hell. I'm still not sure why I did that. Blame the muse!
Chibi Hiroyuki- (stops in the middle of a perverted chuckle) Why me?
Satanira- Because you're my muse, and muses are for inspiration.
Chibi Hiroyuki- Well, maybe I don't want to be your muse anymore.
Satanira- Then you'll have to go back to Saotome.
Chibi Hiroyuki- But she never glomps me!
Satanira- Then I guess you're stuck with me, if you wanna get glomped.
Chibi Hiroyuki- Well, can you glomp me one more time this chapter?
Satanira- Kay! (glomps CH)
Chibi Hiroyuki- (sighs in heavenly bliss)
Chibi Hiroyuki- Not only did I get a pay raise, but I've also been promoted, and a hot babe's glomping me. Ah, life is perfect....
Saotome- Chibi Hiroyuki no baka! whacks CH w/a frying pan
Satanira- He may be a hentai-ish idiot, but he's still my use, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill him, Sao.
Saotome- Kay. walks away humming
Chibi Hiroyuki- Now, in my new post as Head Muse, I command you work on Randomness once you've uploaded this!
Satanira- Kay! plops down at da comp and gets to work
Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing, Trigun, or any related materials.
Warnings Mild Dorothy-bashing, heavy Relena-bashing, yaoi, yuri, general insanity, major OOC warning
Fear The Eyebrows!
"Yikes." Satanira said, blinking repeatedly at her laptop. "That right there's a scary thought."
"Shut up." Heero's image muttered crossly. "Look, I really hate saying this, but we need you for this. We're not sure how these idiots got a hold of your technology, but they did, and only more of your mechanical magic can counter it."
"Did you just ask me to help you?" Satanira gasped in mock- disbelief, absently brushing light blonde bangs out of her shining orange eyes. "I do believe I'm going to faint."
"Goddammit, woman!" Heero snapped, giving her one of his patented Heero Yuy Glares-O-Death [TM]. "Stop fooling around! This is serious! Do you know what kind of things they could bring back from other dimensions?"
"I do believe I already said that that right there's a scary thought. Of course I'll help you. How can I pass up a chance at an all-expense paid interdimensional mission/trip? When should I be there?"
"Day after tomorrow at o-five-hundred hours."
"FIVE O-FUCKING-CLOCK IN THE MORNING?!?!" Satanira demanded explosively. "I'm going to go take a nap." She muttered. "Five o-clock in the morning. I can't believe you fucking military types. See ya, Hee- chan."
"Don't call me Hee-chan!" Heero yelled as Satanira waved cheerfully and ended the call.
"Oh, Heero, if you only realized." Satanira sighed happily, shaking her head at the blank screen. "If you only knew."
Two Days Later
Satanira yawned hugely in response to Duo's question of how she was feeling. She felt that was answer enough, and saying she was feeling tired would be utterly redundant, so she remained silent as she waited for Quatre and Trowa to finish packing breakfast.
A ridiculous thing, packing breakfast. Breakfast was meant to be eaten at the table with fresh coffee, family and friends, and sleepy chatter while everyone tried their hardest to wake up. The only meal Satanira thought should be eaten on the run was lunch, and that was only if it was with friends in the midst of some fun and energy-burning activity.
"Eating breakfast on the run should be a crime." She muttered crossly, glaring at the individually wrapped bacon egg and cheese sandwiches Quatre was stacking neatly in one of the thermal coolers. "Either you eat it at a table like you're supposed to, or you go hungry till your morning snack."
"You sure are an opinionated woman." Duo observed, far too awake and hyper for five in the morning.
"And I've got a gun." Satanira said around another heavy yawn.
"I'll bet you do." Duo agreed, edging away slightly.
"Shut up, Maxwell." Wufei muttered crossly as he sipped a steaming mug of strong black coffee, much closer to Satanira's idea of morning awareness.
"You guys are no fun in the morning." Duo complained.
"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious." Satanira said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "When you discover that my hair is yellow, please do tell me. I'd hate to miss out on something else I already know."
"Hmph." Duo hmphed, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Bad news, guys." Heero said suddenly. "We have to go undercover as couples for this mission."
"Oh, oh, oh! I want Wu-man!" Duo exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.
"Boy/girl couples, baka." Heero corrected. "Which means we'll have to find some girls to take with us."
"Catherine, Dorothy, Sally Po, and...." Quatre paused, not sure of who else to name.
"Let's get them over here for now." Satanira said. "If one of them happens to bring a friend, our problems are solved."
One Huge Mistake Later
"If I'd known Relena was over at Dorothy's I'd never, ever, ever have considered calling her." Satanira groaned.
"It's all right, Nira-chan." Catherine said soothingly, patting the young blond's back. "Hindsight is ever perfect. You've said so yourself plenty of times."
"I know." Satanira agreed, her voice muffled by the fact that her face was currently buried in her hands. "I know. But that doesn't change the fact that she's here and we have to deal with her."
"Yes!" Came a shout from the next room, which sounded suspiciously like Heero. "Yes! Saved! I've been saved by an angel in disguise!"
"You think he might have to pretend to be Relena's boyfriend and snapped?" Sally Po asked, quirking one eyebrow.
"No, I think he gets to be someone else's boyfriend for the mission, and was so overwhelmed by his good luck that he forgot he's supposed to be emotionless." Satanira offered, grinning, just as the object of their discussion burst into the room and glomped (A/N- yes, glomped. He's being human for once. Didn't you see the OOC warning?) Satanira.
"I get to be your boyfriend!" He shouted excitedly, rubbing his cheek against her chest, totally oblivious to the pounding he was earning himself. "You've saved me from the psycho brunette bitch from hell! I love you forever, Nira-chan!"
The psycho brunette bitch from hell walked in then to see the object of her obsession latched onto and professing his love to the crazy blonde fiend from Hades. "What did you do to my Heero?" Relena demanded, pointing an accusing finger at Satanira.
"I suppose you don't notice that I happen to be effectively trapped and have a man's face stuck to my chest, then?" Satanira asked quietly, one eyebrow twitching dangerously. "And since when is he 'your' Heero, huh? I could have sworn he belonged to himself, not you!"
"He's always been mine!" Relena shrieked as the other boys came out, each holding a different color straw.
"Come, Miss Relena." Quatre said politely, taking the ranting teen by the arm and steering her out of the room. "Let's go buy you a nice pink sundress. I hear it's quite warm where we're going, and a perfect place to tan."
"Really?" Relena asked, completely forgetting about her precious Heero at the mention of pink clothes and good tanning spots.
"Oh, yes." Quatre assured her with a sweet smile. "I think we should get you a new pair of sandals as well. Feet as delicate as yours will need to breath. And sun block. We wouldn't want to ruin such lovely skin, now would we?" The front door closed on a squealed, "Q-chan, you're always so nice to me!"
"Now that she's gone," Duo said, snorting with amusement as Satanira began banging Heero upside the head repeatedly with a frying pan. "We all drew straws, and the assignments are as follows: Heero and Satanira, Quatre and the psycho brunette bitch from hell, Trowa and Dorothy, Wufei and Catherine, and me and Sally Po. Let's all go get our stuff together, and don't forget to only pack summer stuff and lots of sunscreen. We're going to be using more of the wonderful Miss Satanira's mechanical magic to store stuff for other seasons, so don't worry about that." Duo grinned boyishly as he swept Sally Po off her feet and carried her towards the stairs. "You and me, Sal, we gotta get our stories straight." He said cheerfully.
"He's having fun." Catherine observed with a smile. "Well, Mister Chang, we also have some things to discuss while we pack. Lead the way."
"I think I like you, woman." Wufei commented. "I really think I do."
"Hey, Nira-chan!" Catherine called from halfway up the stairs, struck by a sudden thought. "If you keep knocking him around like that, you won't have anyone to buy you stuff on this trip!"
"Meanie!" Satanira called back, although she did put away the frying pan and drag Heero off to see what kind of stuff he'd packed, Leaving Dorothy and Trowa alone in the living room.
"Shall we gather my supplies, then?" Dorothy suggested, smoothing one of her odd eyebrows.
"....." Trowa agreed, gesturing for Dorothy to take the lead.
Several Days Later, Planet Gunsmoke
"Wow!" Relena exclaimed, staring at a particularly adorable doll placed on a shelf above the shop counter. "Q-chan, can I have that one? The one with red curls and the long pink dress? Pretty please?" The brunette had decided that being Quatre's girlfriend, if only for this one mission, was much better than being Heero's, judging by the amount of fights he and Satanira had on a daily basis.
"You're wish is my command." Quatre said with an extravagant bow that brought his wallet into the open. "How much for the redhead in pink?" He asked the shopkeeper, who laughed at the two.
"You really love this pretty young thing?" He asked, turning to take the doll down. "Thirty double dollars."
"Yes, sir." Quatre replied, taking out the required amount of Gunsmoke's planetary currency as the shopkeeper carefully packed his purchase in a small box. "Very much so." And that wasn't entirely a lie, either. Quatre had found himself falling for Relena since discovering that, apart from her obsession with Heero, she was actually very sweet, though childish at times.
"In that case, I'd like you two to have a little something extra." Another small box was placed on the rough wood and opened to reveal two matching antique bracelets, beautifully crafted of twisting silver and gold ropes. "These were meant for my son and his wife, but I never did have a son, and now that I've no one to mother one, I'd like you to have them."
"Sir, we couldn't possibly accept these!" Relena exclaimed wonderingly. "They must be very precious to you!"
"What good are precious things to someone as old as me?" The shopkeeper countered, removing the bracelets and clipping one onto Relena's wrist and the other onto Quatre's. "Since I've no one to leave them to, it only seems right that two as in love as you seem should take them, so you can give them to your oldest son. Now make this old fool glad and accept them."
"Gladly." Quatre said suddenly after a long silent moment. "I have no father to give me such a thing; perhaps we can look on each other a surrogates."
"I'd be happy to." The shopkeeper agreed, handing the doll to Relena and bidding the children good-bye.
"Thank you so much, sir!" Relena called as she ran out the door after Quatre, her pink skirt billowing in a soft, hot breeze.
Since she was too busy staring at the bracelet around her wrist to watch where she was going, it was no wonder she ran into someone and fell, the box from the shop flying out of her hands.
"My doll!" She exclaimed, looking frantically around for it.
"It's okay; Needle Noggin caught it." The person she'd bumped into, a tall man with black hair and gray eyes, in dark clothing with a giant cross on one shoulder, said, offering her a hand up.
"Needle... Noggin?" Relena repeated, confused, and she accepted the man's hand.
"Relena, are you all right?" Quatre was suddenly next to her, checking her palms, elbows and knees for bruises or scrapes.
"I dropped the doll." Relena mumbled, suddenly flushing with embarrassment. Quatre had just spent $$30 on that doll for her, and she'd gone and dropped it.
"Who cares about the doll?" Quatre asked, producing a clean square of light blue cloth from nowhere and gently wiping her left palm. "You're bleeding. That, I think, is a little more important than the doll."
"He's right, you know, Miss." Another man, this one with spiky bright blonde hair and aqua eyes dressed in a bright red overcoat said, holding out the box. "But you're all right and the doll's all right, and that's all that really- hey! That's a neat bracelet set you two are wearing! Where'd you get those?"
"Don't ask so many questions, Needle Noggin." The dark man grumbled, putting on a pair of dark sunglasses.
"Mr. Vash! Mr. Wolfwood!" A tall woman with long brown hair dressed in yellow and green called, waving excitedly. "Merle-sempai says it's time to leave, before-" The giant of a woman was cut off by the sound of panicked screaming.
"I didn't do nuthin!" The blonde exclaimed, throwing both hands up at shoulder height. "You were with me the entire time!"
"Dorothy." Quatre and Relena said simultaneously.
"Dorothy?" The dark man asked. "Who and/or what the hell's Dorothy, and how could she and/or it be causing this?"
"... I think you should come with us and see for yourself." Relena suggested, smiling apologetically at the three adults as she took off after Quatre in the direction of the sounds of chaos.
The Site of an Impending Riot
Trowa sighed inwardly, shaking his head. Dorothy was a very nice girl, intelligent, and didn't mind in the least that Trowa himself rarely spoke. But she seriously needed to wax those goddamn eyebrows of hers. It was cursed hard going undercover with a partner that struck fear into the hearts of millions with her facial hair.
"....." Trowa suggested delicately, glancing around at the panicking citizens who could soon become a crazed mob.
"But the hat makes my hair get all mushy!" Dorothy complained, although she did reluctantly take out the floppy blue hat they'd picked out and jam it down on her head, effectively hiding her eyebrows. "I don't get what all the fuss is about ,anyway." The blonde pouted, and Trowa didn't want to be the one to enlighten her on the subject.
"....." He said instead.
"Oh, I wanna go to that place we ate at this morning!" Dorothy exclaimed excitedly. "You're buying, right?"
"...."
"Good. I left all my stuff at the hotel."
"Dorothy! Trowa!" Quatre's young voice called behind the couple. "Wait up!"
"Dorothy! Dorothydorothydorothy!" Relena yelled, sounding closer than Quatre, although she was really a few yards behind him. "Dorothy, you just gotta see what Q-chan got for me!"
Quatre and Relena caught up to their friends, followed closely by Mr. Wolfwood, Mr. Vash, the brunette giant, and a small woman the giant called Merle-sempai.
"This is Dorothy?" The blond asked, looking Dorothy up and down. "How can she cause a riot?"
"......." Trowa said.
"But you just told me to put it on!" Dorothy shrieked, earning her strange stares from three of the adults, who were certain Trowa's mouth hadn't moved a millimeter.
"........"
"Oh. Okay, then." Dorothy sighed, reaching up and pulling off the sunhat.
"Argh!" The giant woman shrieked, scrambling backward into a wall as her partner fainted dead away, the priest dropped to his knees and began praying frantically, and the blond man stood staring, too frightened to move.
"I...see what you meant." Vash finally managed to say, as Dorothy put her hat back on.
"But remember, Trowa-chan, you owe me the biggest ice cream they have in town!" Dorothy reminded the Unabang crossly.
"........." Trowa agreed, taking his pretend girlfriend by the arm and steering her towards the nearest restaurant.
"Good. I always thought you were a man of your word, but a girl can never be too careful nowadays."
"What word?" Wolfwood demanded, scratching his head in confusion. "He didn't say anything! Is that chick insane?"
Quatre smiled tolerantly up at the priest, truly pitying anyone who couldn't understand Trowa's silent language.
"Are you going deaf or something?" Vash asked, staring at Wolfwood. "He just said he never goes back on a promise. Couldn't you hear him?"
"Actually, no, Needle Noggin, because he didn't say anything!"
"Yes, he did." Relena said crossly, not liking the way Wolfwood was talking to the man who had saved her doll. "And if you didn't hear him, then I feel sorry for you!" With that, she skipped over to Vash, stood up on tip-toe, and kissed his cheek before sauntering off after Dorothy, keeping a lookout for the others.
"Doesn't that girl of yours have any manners?" Wolfwood asked Quatre, blinking as he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.
"Never insult Miss Relena in my presence again, or you will regret it." The blond Arabian warned quietly. "Am I understood?"
A Few Streets Over
"Catherine! Wufei! Wait up!" Relena called cheerfully.
"Hey, Relena!" Catherine called back with a forced smile, waving.
"I'm going into that weapons shop." Wufei said shortly. "It wouldn't do to kill the onna."
"You want to calm down so you go look at weapons?" Catherine asked the air as the Chinese pilot stalked away. "Really smart, Wufei. In-friggin- genius, you baka."
"Catherine, you just have to see what the shopkeeper at the doll store gave me and Q-chan!" Relena exclaimed, skidding to a halt in front of the brunette knife woman. "Look!" She held up her wrist proudly, displaying the antique bracelet for her 'friend.'
"Oh, my god!" Catherine shrieked, reaching out as if to touch the piece of jewelry, then stopped herself, afraid she might damage it. "It's beautiful!"
"I know." Relena said, sighing happily. "The shopkeeper said that since he had no kids to leave them to, he wanted to give them to us."
"Give?" Catherine questioned, surprised. "This looks like it costs a fortune! And he just handed it over and said, 'here, you can have it'? Relena-san, you have got to be the luckiest girl in the universe!"
A Shop Nearby
"Woman, will you stop that?" Heero demanded angrily for about the twenty-millionth time that day.
"No." Satanira stated firmly, wrapping her arms even tighter around the Perfect Soldier's arm. "The deal was that since I saved you from being Relena's boyfriend, I get to do anything I want. That's appropriate." She added at Heero's Glare of Death. "You know, it's too bad you can't bottle and sell that indifference." She continued sarcastically. "You'd make a killing."
"Look, woman, you're starting to wear on my nerves, so stop it!"
"Twenty million and one." Sally Po said, chuckling.
"Actually, I think it's twenty million and two." Duo countered, picking up a small, curved throwing knife. "You think Cathy would like this one?"
"I think these suit her better." Satanira countered, freeing one hand long enough to point at a stainless steel knife kit of ten blades. Each was a different length, with a different symbol carved into the otherwise plain handle.
"Yeah, those are much better!" Sally Po exclaimed, picking up the smallest one. "She'll love these!"
"So we've got our circus girl taken care of, and now we can eat!" Duo exclaimed, snatching up the kit and bounding to the counter.
"He gets no sugar." Heero said crossly as Duo paid. "No sugar whatsoever for the next twenty-four hours."
End Chapter One
Satanira- Yay!
Chibi Hiroyuki- What to go, Boss-Babe!
Satanira- (glomps CH) You're the best muse ever!
Chibi Hiroyuki- (drools in a hentai-ish fashion)
Satanira- Also, to all fans of a certain blond Arabian, sorry about the whole making Q-chan fall in love with the psycho brunette bitch from hell. I'm still not sure why I did that. Blame the muse!
Chibi Hiroyuki- (stops in the middle of a perverted chuckle) Why me?
Satanira- Because you're my muse, and muses are for inspiration.
Chibi Hiroyuki- Well, maybe I don't want to be your muse anymore.
Satanira- Then you'll have to go back to Saotome.
Chibi Hiroyuki- But she never glomps me!
Satanira- Then I guess you're stuck with me, if you wanna get glomped.
Chibi Hiroyuki- Well, can you glomp me one more time this chapter?
Satanira- Kay! (glomps CH)
Chibi Hiroyuki- (sighs in heavenly bliss)