AN: So some of you have been waiting for this for nearly 2 months, and I sincerely hope it's worth the wait. My goal is to update this story every other week, but please be patient with me as life is a bit crazy at the moment. I'd love to know what you think about the first chapter! As always major beta love to the wonderful DarkNorseLady. You rock! I'd also like to say thank you to both Kreeblimsabs and Nauticalparamour for listening to me talk about this idea and being just as excited about it as I am. :)
Disclaimer: All canon character, plots, and situations from the Harry Potter series belong to JK Rowling. I am not profiting from this work.
"I loved you from the moment I knew you were there,
and you will be loved until the day I die."
-Zoe Clark-Coates
"Hold still little mud-blood; this is going to hurt…"
The sound of cackling laughter was still ringing in Hermione's ears as she sat up in bed. Turning toward the other side of the room she let out a small sigh of relief when she noticed tonight's nightmare hadn't woken up her roommate. Though Ginny repeatedly insisted she wasn't a bother, she didn't like depending too much on the younger girl for comfort. Standing, she pulled a robe around herself and silently exited the bedroom.
Upon entering the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld place, Hermione quickly realized she wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping that evening. "Nightmares again, Kitten?" Sirius was sitting at the table, a half full glass of firewhiskey in hand.
"No," her untamed hair whipped around as she shook her head, "it was a nightmare that woke me up, but I'm feeling a bit nauseous and wanted a little something to settle my stomach before going back to sleep."
Sirius stared at her thoughtfully for a moment before getting up and moving toward the cabinet on the other side of the large kitchen. He quickly pulled down a mug and set to work preparing her a cup of tea. "Have you felt sick long?"
Hermione shook her head again, "no, just off and on the last day or so. I think I have a touch of the flu." She smiled gratefully when he set the tea and a small plate of crackers down in front of her. "I think I am going to spend tomorrow resting in bed."
"That might be a good idea, Kitten. If you aren't feeling better by next week though, I would recommend speaking with Madam Pomfrey. I'd hate to think we missed any ill effects from your time held prisoner." Sirius stared at her for another moment, before refilling his glass and taking a large drink of the amber liquid. "Speaking of, why don't you tell me about tonight's dream?"
"Well, it started off with Pansy coming to see me in the Malfoy dungeons," she paused to take a sip, "and honestly just skipped around from there…"
The clicking of heels on concrete roused Hermione from her fitful sleep. She had been in this cell for nearly a week, judging by the meals delivered by the silent house elf, and had yet to see a single person. Sitting up, she turned toward the barred entrance of her cell. Seeing the petite figure illuminated by the light of a single candle caused a small gasp to pass her lips. "Pansy?" the way her voice echoed off of the walls caused her to wince slightly.
"Shhh!" Pansy hissed, "They don't know I am down here. I brought you a couple of things Granger, but you can't let anyone see that you have them." When the other witch gestured her forward, Hermione stood on shaky legs and moved from the back of the cell.
The first thing Pansy pulled from her cloak was a flask. When she held it out, Hermione stared warily. Rolling her eyes, she unscrewed the top and took a generous gulp before once again holding it out. "If I wanted to kill you poison wouldn't be my method of choice, especially considering your current circumstances. If you want to make it in here, you are going to need to learn to trust me."
When she held it out again, Hermione took the flask with no hesitation and brought it to her lips taking a large drink. The fresh water immediately brought relief to her parched throat. "Why are you helping me?" she questioned, replacing the lid she slid the flask into the pocket of her jeans.
"It's at the request of a mutual friend," the tone of her voice made it clear Pansy didn't care to give any further explanation, "he asked I do my best to keep you safe until you can be rescued. Take a step back, Granger." When Hermione did, she felt the all too familiar tingle of a warming charm being cast on her clothing. "I will try to come back before the charms wear off but I may not be able to. Listen carefully to this next part, because it's vital. I'm leaving you with a few extra supplies and an invisibility cloak to hide them. If the house elf sees them, she won't say anything. She was Draco's Nanny Elf, and her alliances lay with him first and foremost, but he doesn't want to risk us sending things with her. Your primary concern is going to be Bellatrix or Rabastan coming down here. If you hear anyone heading this way I recommend covering your stuff and quickly moving toward the front of the cell. Do you understand?"
"...she told me we had a mutual friend," Hermione bit her lip in frustration. "What do you suppose she meant?"
"Hmmm. I don't know, Kitten. Was that the only time she visited? You were gone for several months." Hermione had become accustomed to the probing questions from the older Order members, but something in the tone of Sirius' voice caused her to pause.
"I didn't give her any information," her voice had a panicked defensiveness about it. "In fact, when she brought me supplies she's the one who did most of the talking. Somehow, she was able to tell me almost to the day when I was to be rescued like she knew someone within the Order…" trailing off, Hermione watched as her warm drink continued to swirl, even after she had ceased stirring it.
"Well…" Sirius cleared his throat to regain her attention. When the small witch looked up, he continued, "I didn't mean to come across as though I was accusing you of being a traitor, Hermione, in fact, you are one of the Order members I trust most. I just meant, perhaps you have more allies than you previously realized, and sometimes they come up in the most unexpected ways…"
"What do you mean I have more allies?" her eyebrows drew together as she cocked her head to the side.
"N-nothing, Kitten," Sirius waved her off dismissively, "I think it's time for both of us to head back to our rooms. You go on; I'll clean up here." Standing, he helped her up and ushered Hermione out of the room.
Once she was back in her bed, she fell asleep instantly.
"...Yes, she's still asleep. She's been like this all week. I'm really worried. She doesn't usually sleep like this. I know she was having nightmares, but I haven't heard her in a couple of nights. Do you think she's sick?" Hermione tried to lay completely still as she listened to her friend's worried whispers.
It had been four days since her conversation with Sirius, and she wasn't feeling much better. She had been so sure that she was keeping up appearances for her friends, but now she was questioning it.
"Hmm. No, I don't think she's sick," Hermione could hear the confidence in Luna's voice as she spoke, "Women in her condition are often more tired, and that's why she's been up at night getting sick as well. Nothing to worry about, it should pass as things progress."
"What do you mean her condi-"
Realization hit Hermione before Ginny was able to finish her question. Feeling instantly sick she jumped out of bed and ran out of the room. Moment's later, while bent over the toilet in the third-floor bathroom, she felt someone pull back her hair and place a cold rag on her neck. Turning, she tried to give the girl a grateful smile. "Thanks, Gin, I don't know what's come over me, I think I am sick," she tried to insist weakly.
"Uh, Mione? Are you sure that's what it is?" Ginny kneeled beside her best friend and tried to give her a supportive smile. "Luna, uh, well she thinks it might be something else. I know they checked you over when you first got back, but uh- When was the last treatment that they gave you before you were rescued?"
Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them back up, she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. "Ginny, I think-" she had a sharp intake of breath and covered her mouth, "I think Luna is right. The last, uh, treatment was earlier the day I was rescued. It likely wouldn't have shown up yet when they did the charm. Oh! The charm! Do you know it?"
"No, but Luna does." Pulling her friend into her arms, Ginny stroked her hair and lowered her voice. "Let's go back into the bedroom first though. We'll get you freshened up, and we will handle this like adults, hmm?" Feeling Hermione nod, she helped her and they quietly made their way back to their shared room.
"Are you ready, Hermione? Lift your shirt just a bit," Luna calmly raised her wand. Seeing the older witch nod and expose her flat stomach, she quietly started the incantation. Just as Luna uttered the final words, the door swung open and in walked Ron and Lavender followed closely by Neville and Harry.
"Don't you know how to knock?" Ginny shrieked, preparing to push the group from her room. "Any of us could have been naked." Her actions were halted when she saw the shocked look on Lavender's face. Following the annoying girl's gaze, she noted that Hermione's hands were covering her abdomen protectively, but behind them, you could see a faint pink glow.
"I-I'm pregnant?" she whispered, staring down at her hands. "I'm going to be a mother, Ginny." Hermione looked up and met her friend's gaze, with a small smile on her lips.
The moment of joy was soon brought to an end by a shriek from the other side of the room. "You're pregnant?" Lavender was out of the room, and on her way down the stairs, before anyone was able to stop her.
Everyone fell silent as Dumbledore entered the room. He was in no hurry as he walked to the head of the table at a leisurely pace. Sitting down, he took several second to look at the all of the Order members present before speaking. "So, there are things to be discussed?" Something about the flippant tone of his voice got under Hermione's skin.
There were several seconds of silence, only broken when Kingsley stood up. "It has been brought to our attention that after the infiltration of Malfoy Manor, a little over a month ago, something was overlooked. As of this morning, Madam Pomfrey has estimated that Hermione is roughly six weeks pregnant with a child, and it is believed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is the father."
"I see," Dumbledore stared at Hermione for several seconds, seemingly lost in thought. "Well, I believe the necessary course of action is blatantly clear. We must act quickly and terminate the pregnancy. I believe Madam Pomfrey should be able to complete the procedure this afternoon; there's no use in waiting and risking Tom gaining access to Hermione and the child. It's a quite quick process, and painless I have been told. It'll be over before you know what's happening." He gave her a reassuring smile.
"With all due respect, Sir, shouldn't we ask Hermione what she wants?"
"The baby is hers after all." The voices of Fred and George pulled her out of her shock.
"I-" she started weakly. Taking a steadying breath Hermione stood and wrapped an arm protectively around herself, "I want to keep this baby. He's mine. Half of his genetic makeup may be from Voldemort," Hermione rolled her eyes when she noticed Lavender flinch, "but this child has done nothing wrong, and I won't sit by and let you kill him." She was shaking by the time she was finished speaking, only Ginny and Luna each taking one of her hands kept her standing upright.
"You don't know what you are saying, dear." Mrs. Weasley shook her head at the young girl. "You don't know the first thing about raising a child, and by yourself? This is the best option for you."
At that Ginny stood up, "Mum, you were barely older than Mione is now when Bill was born, and you made it work."
"That was entirely different circumstances. We are at war, and I wasn't alone. I had your father for support. Besides, what will people think? Not only about Hermione as an unmarried witch, but the baby will be the bastard child of the evilest wizard ever known."
"That's not fair!" this time it was Tonks standing in her defense. "When Bill was born there was a war going on too, and he turned out just fine, and Hermione may not have a suitable father for her child, but she has us." Turning to Hermione she continued, "I will support you in any way you need, Granger."
"A-as will I," Hermione turned to see Neville giving her an awkward smile from the back of the room. "Anyway I can help, just let me know."
Soon Bill, Fleur, and George were also standing showing their support for her decision. She let out a quiet chuckle when Fred stood on the other side of the table and winked at her before saying, "If you don't want to be an unwed witch, Granger, I'll marry you."
Feeling that he was quickly losing control, Dumbledore cleared his throat to regain their attention. "It's all well and good to support your friend, but we have to think about the greater good here. There is too much of a risk for this child to be used against us. Should our enemies gain control of the child, would you all do whatever it took to protect it? Switch sides perhaps?" His eyes were hard as he stared at all those standing.
"With how she's protesting it makes me wonder if she didn't ask for it," Ron's voice carried more than he had anticipated and Lavender's giggle only brought more attention their way.
"Excuse me?" Hermione rounded on the couple huddled close together. "What the hell do you mean by that, Ronald?"
Ron, not the least bit ashamed of being overheard, was soon on his own feet and trying to use his height to intimidate her. "I meant exactly what I said. You are fighting awfully hard to keep that abomination, aren't you? Makes one wonder where your allegiances lie, and if you were, in fact, being held against your will." As he spoke his voice gradually raised and his face continually grew a darker shade of red.
"Oh, because that makes perfect sense!" She yelled back. "I voluntarily stayed in a dungeon for three months. I also chose to be routinely taunted and put through a painful procedure because I wanted to carry the child of a crazed man who wants people like me exterminated. I know you can be dense sometimes, but surely you aren't actually stupid enough to believe that."
"Don't call my Won-won stupid just because you are a know-it-all," Lavender glared from her seat.
"Guys, this is getting out of hand!" Remus was uncharacteristically loud as he tried to bring the group back to the topic at hand.
"What is your opinion on the matter, Remus?" Dumbledore asked before smiling at the ex-professor. "Surely you believe in doing things for the greater good."
"Haven't enough innocent lives been taken?" he let out an exasperated breath "Why is your definition of the greater good involve sacrificing the life of a child? Can you really not think of another way? I'm sorry Albus, but in this case, I have to stand with Hermione. It's her decision."
In the end, the order was nearly split down the middle about what the best course of action would be. With a few members torn and declining to weigh in, Dumbledore knew he wasn't going to win that night. "Well, we clearly aren't going to get anywhere with this right now. Let's all take a couple of days to think it over. In the meantime, I think it prudent to keep Hermione safe. Kingsley, will you show her to the room that has been prepared upstairs?" The Auror nodded and quietly led her to a small bedroom on the third floor.
Once inside, Hermione heard the click of a lock. She had a sudden realization that this room was less to keep her safe and more to keep her exactly where Dumbledore wanted her. Reaching into her pocket, she let out a frustrated growl. Her wand was nowhere to be found. She had a suspicion that Kingsley nicked it when he showed her into the room.
With nothing else to do, Hermione laid down on the bed in the corner of the room and thought about her predicament and the last few hours. The thing that bothered her the most was, while Harry and Sirius didn't come to Dumbledore's defense; neither wizard supported her either. Deciding she wasn't going to be able to figure out their odd behavior, she closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.
"Alohamora," the whispered spell and the clicking of the lock woke Hermione several hours later. Instinctively, she moved further back onto the bed and picked up the closest object she could find, the lamp from the bedside table, in preparation to fight off the late night visitor if need be. She let out a relieved breath upon realizing it was Neville and Luna quietly entering the room. "Hermione," the blonde witch whispered, "quickly, you have to come with us."
She barely had time to register what was happening before she was pulled onto her feet and out of the room. Neville brought a finger to his lips before walking several steps ahead of them and peaking around the corner. When he signaled that the path was clear the girls quietly followed close behind him. This process was repeated several times until they were standing outside a bedroom door a floor down from where Hermione had been locked up. Stepping forward, Luna quietly knocked on the door in a noticeable pattern. Knock, Knock Knock, Knock, Knock Knock Knock. A moment later the door was pulled open, and a very frazzled looking Bill was ushering them inside. "Merlin, what took you guys so long?" he questioned as he set to work warding and silencing the room.
"Dumbledore had a few more protections in place that we had expected," Neville sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "I knew you should have been the one to break her out."
"That wouldn't have worked Neville," for the first time Hermione noticed Ginny sitting on the edge of the bed with Fleur. "Hermione knows she can trust you. She might have questioned Bill. There wasn't time to explain until you got in here," the small witch reasoned. In no time at all, she was across the room and had her arms thrown around her pregnant friend. "We don't trust that Dumbledore won't go ahead and do what he thinks is best. It's not safe for you or your baby here. We have put together a pack for you; it has a few supplies and as much Muggle money as we could get our hands on. The plan is for you to floo from her to Remus and Tonks' home. Tomorrow they'll take you to the train, and you can get out of here."
"You guys all did this for me?" tears were streaming down her face as Hermione looked around the room. "How can I ever repay you?"
"Bring that baby back for us to spoil once the war is over," Ginny's watery smile just caused Hermione to break down into another round of sobs. She quickly made her way around the room, hugging and thanking each person who had stood up for her choice and helped her save the life of her baby.
When she made it to Luna, the blonde witch spoke before she had a chance. "Here, you might need this," she held out the familiar vinewood wand. "Hermione, remember to let others help you, even if you aren't sure why they want to. You have more allies than you realize."
Before she could think about the words, she was being pushed toward the fireplace and on her way away from the few friends she had left in the world.
Tonks was waiting when she arrived in the small living room of the Lupin home. The other woman embraced her, and the two girls talked for a few minutes about Hermione's plans now that she had to stay off of the Order's radar. When she noticed her guest yawning Tonks showed her to the small guest room she'd be staying in for the night, and said good night after explaining she'd be in the next room over should Hermione need anything.
Not long after she had fallen asleep, Hermione felt herself being gently shaken awake. "Professor?" she asked while wiping the sleep from her eyes.
"I'm sorry to wake you," Lupin gave her a gentle smile, "We just received a Patronus from Kingsley asking that we assist in trying to find you. It'd look suspicious if we didn't help. We shouldn't be gone long, and you are more than welcome to anything in the house while we are gone. I'll let you know when we are back. Get some sleep."
"Thank you," she smiled at him before yawning. She was back to sleep before he had even closed the door.
Hermione found herself once again awake a few hours later, this time she was in need of something to settle her stomach. Just as she was reaching for the door, she heard a sound coming from the kitchen. Gripping her wand tighter, she silently opened the door and made her way into the kitchen. Seeing the room empty her eyebrows drew together in confusion.
"Remus? Tonks?" she paused to listen for a response. When none came, she strode over to the small stove to pick up the kettle. Feeling eyes on her, she paused.
"Hello, Kitten."
The moment she felt her wand leave her hand Hermione's head sank in defeat. "Please don't do this Sirius. Please," begging was her last hope," you don't have to take me back. We can pretend you never saw me. I will leave, and you'll never hear from me again. I promise, I don't want to make trouble, I only want to be free to have and raise my baby." Her hand moved over her stomach defensively, "Please just let me have my family," she finally said barely above a whisper.
"I'm sorry, Kitten," his voice shook with emotion as he raised his wand, "I really am, but this is about more than you or your baby." Just as she was about to ask what he meant she heard one more whispered word, "Stupefy," and everything went black.