Title: Explain Me
Author: Angel Leviathan
Spoilers: Anything, everything.
Season: 5
Disclaimer: SG-1 isn't mine.
She glanced over at him in the middle of the night, finding him lying there, on his back, just staring at the top of the tent canvas, arms behind his head, in much the same pose as she had adopted, on discovering she wasn't going to get any sleep.
"Nice shade of green, Sir?" Sam questioned, with a smile. She could barely make out her surroundings, just his form, from the moonlight shining through the thin material.
"…Looks more black in this light," Jack replied, teasing her. "Any advance on black?"
She blinked a couple of times, staring at the tent herself. "Nope. You win."
He exhaled, still staring straight up. "What do you think?"
She frowned. "…About the tent?"
"About life in general."
Sam shut her eyes, knowing he probably could see her-
"No sleeping on the job, Major." He tried his mock-serious tone on her.
"Needs work, Sir." She smiled slightly, before returning to her previously sombre expression. "I think it sucks."
"Really?" Jack sounded somewhat surprised.
"Not all the time, but yeah, in general. I wouldn't want to change it, but, yeah, you know. Doesn't everybody think that from time to time?"
He exhaled. "More than from time to time."
"It's grey," she suddenly stated.
"Life?"
"The tent."
"You are so wrong," Jack insisted.
She laughed quietly. "Prove it."
He shifted onto his side, so he could face her, secretly pleased when she did the same, heads supported by their elbows. "One day I will, you know."
"Anything you say, Sir."
"When we don't have to save the world," Jack reasoned, "then I'll make sure the tents we get issued with are a definite colour."
Sam grinned and shook her head. "You have way too much free time on your hands."
"And you have too little on yours."
"Somebody's gotta do the thinking," she tried.
"Are you implying that I don't think?" He feigned a hurt expression.
Sam frowned. "Maybe I'm implying that I know that you really do think about things, you just don't let on that you do. Male pride issue."
"Maybe I don't want you to be out of a job." He reached across and prodded her.
"Never happen, Sir." She prodded him back. "Somebody has to explain you to people."
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
He grinned. "Have at it then, Carter, 'explain' me," he challenged.
She mulled this over for several seconds. "Okay," she nodded, "I will."
"I'm waiting," Jack quipped.
"You make out that you're unintelligent and if anybody sees any sign that you might have actually 'thought' about something, you revert back to the mind of a child," she started, trying to provoke him. "You say you go fishing because it gives you an excuse to do nothing for hours on end, when you're really considering your next move during that time, and," she held up a hand to silence him, "You really do want to catch a fish."
"Just because I haven't doesn't mean-"
"There are no fish in that lake, Sir. Teal'c never once saw one-"
"Maybe you should come along and see for yourself," he proposed.
Sam drew her sleeping bag back around herself. "Nice try. You try to make it seem like nothing affects you, but you just keep it all inside until somebody ends up on the other end of a tirade of month's worth of stress and anger." She softened her voice. "You just need somebody to talk to." She looked down, and away. "You love kids, you love your work, and-"
"I love you," he whispered.
She stared at him, startled, before her expression softened and she reached out a hand to touch his face, only for a second.
Jack moved closer to her. "I'm not the only one who needs explaining you know."
"…Try me…" she answered softly.
"You say you're working in your lab all day, when you're really hiding. Hiding from having to save the world, hiding from us."
"I do not-"
"You always try to take point in the field, not because you have a death wish, but because you want to protect us…"
She accepted that with a slight nod of her head, still looking straight across at him, no hesitation.
"…It's navy blue…"
"You have a short attention span," Sam teased.
"You have too much of an attention span," he countered.
"You can't have too much of a good thing…"
"No…" Jack reached out and brushed from stray strands of hair from her eyes. "You can't."
A pained expression crossed her face. "…Don't do this…" she pleaded quietly. "…You know…you know-"
"…You know I love you, you know you love me and you know that there's nothing we can do about it…" Jack trailed off.
"You know if I thought it was a viable option, I'd give all of this up just for you." Sam shut her eyes, letting her shoulders slump. Suddenly, she felt hands on her waist, as he grabbed her, sleeping bag and all, and held onto her tightly, as if he'd never let go.
"You know I'd never let you go…" he said in a hushed whisper.
Sam slipped her arms around him, nodding. "…I know…" she replied.
He released her as abruptly as he'd grabbed her, waited for her to move away, smile creeping across his face as she settled herself against him, letting out a soft sigh.
"…You know I can't get to sleep off-world unless I'm in your arms…" Sam had a gentle smile on her features.
"I know," he tightened his arms around her.
There was silence for several minutes, until he felt her smile.
"It's dark purple."
Jack raised an eyebrow, "Where'd you get that from?"
"I don't know."
"It's brown."
"Purple."
"Green."
"I win."
"What? How?"
"I said it was green all along."
"…Crap!"
Fin