Kinda off cannon One-shot, takes place after Season 4 episode: "O Come all Ye Faithful". Everything stands as it was at the end of that episode.
Apologies to both Delena and Stelena shippers, I really can't decide! I used to be strictly Delena but I've just been reading so much TVD fanfiction I'm seeing Stefan in a new light :X
Songfic- Here without you by Three Doors Down
Elena scratched another notch into the wood on the kitchen door frame.
"One, hundred." Her sigh echoed dimly through the modest motel room. Long fingers trailed down over the long list of tally marks that marred the otherwise perfect trim.
One hundred days with no Damon. No Stefan. She had only seen Bonnie once, had one phone call with Jeremy, and one with Caroline. She felt like she was losing her mind, but more at peace than she'd been since before her parents died. When she left the lake house with Bonnie she hadn't expected their true destination and she could clearly remember Bonnie's pained expression as they pulled into the parking lot of the motel she now stayed in.
"This was Damon's idea" Bonnie had told her when she noticed Elena's confused expression.
"What was his idea Bonnie? Where are we?" She wished she'd paid more attention to the route they had taken, but she'd been so lost in her own swirl of thoughts she hadn't taken in any of the scenery along the way.
"You're going to stay here for a while, to clear your head."
"Just me? What?! I can't, I..."
"You can't what, Elena? Mystic Falls...It isn't safe anymore. Not for any of us. Jeremy is staying at the lake house, Tyler is gone, Stephan and Damon will be at the boarding house, and Caroline... Look, I know you love them, but you need this. Away from them, away from everything that is happening. "
"Why should I have to? I can't leave them I..." The witch's loaded sigh cut her off, and it took her a second to look to Elena's confused and now upset eyes once again.
"I got a call from Caroline while you were asleep..."
"And?"
" Its Klaus...He's kind of gone off the deep end, he killed all of the hybrids, and Mayor Lockwood...Tyler is on the run. You'll be safer here. Shane taught me some spells that are pretty strong and don't require a lot of energy from me to hide you and your room, they will keep you safe. Here, you can stay hidden from Klaus and figure yourself out in the meantime. Take this time to sort through your feelings Elena, Damon just unsired you, you need to figure out what exactly that means for you."
"But you...Jeremy...Caroline..." Her eyes were starting to tear. "I can help now Bonnie, I don't have to be protected so much...What if I hurt someone while I'm here alone?" Bonnie shook her head, her own eyes tearing up.
"Its just until they find the cure, which will be soon."
"No! No I will not run. I'm not Katherine. I can help, I can..."
"No Elena, you can't. The only thing that will happen if you're around is the Salvatores will be too worried about you to do what needs to be done. I'm sorry Elena but all of this is for your protection, you can hold your own as a vampire now but that doesn't mean you're infallible. We all need to focus, and we all love you too much to see you caught in the crossfire before this is over. I know Klaus needs you but I don't know if he cares right now, and thats not something any of us are willing to risk for the hundredth time!" The slowly rising tone in Bonnie's voice had ended with a sharp SMACK as her hand collided with the steering wheel.
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
It had taken Bonnie another hour to convince her this was the right thing to do, but in the end Elena coincided that as much as she hated it, it was a good idea.
Every night she'd dreamt of them both, Damon and Stefan.
The sting of their situation seemed so far away without either of them physically there to influence her feelings, but she still felt just as lost as she had the day she arrived.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
She pictured Damon's face from the last time she'd seen him, when he told her to go. Her eyes closed, and she did her best not to cry. She didn't feel differently for him, she knew she loved him. Forever her protector, even when she didn't want him to. How much he loved her begged her heart to respond, and respond it did. Everything with him was so wild, he challenged her in ways she never thought possible, made her feel stronger than she ever knew she could.
Her heart swelled just at the thought of his arms around her, but something in her told her that if even she chose Stephan, Damon would be happy.
She didn't know if she would though...
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah
Stefan. Her tears renewed at how she'd treated him since her transition. When she told Damon that her feelings for Stephan had moved to just a shadow of their former heights, she hadn't been lying. They were returning slowly though.
When she dreamt of him, he was perfect. Everything she could have ever thought she wanted in a soulmate. Kind, doting, fair. He loved her as much as she loved him.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to sail alone,
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah
Their love had not held the fire she felt with Damon, it was safe. Predictable. Stefan protected her too, albeit not quite as effectively, but that was because he respected her wishes.
He would never have sent her here alone... She wouldn't have let him.
Stefan would have made an excellent father given the chance, but it was never to be.
Unless they took the cure...Together.
She knew it was wishful thinking, Stefan had made it very clear he wanted her human, but he'd never mentioned himself. The thought brought her wandering hand to a halt on tally number 64.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
Elena shot up in the bed, the covers flying away from her body, her breathing ragged and her expression bewildered in the darkness.
Everything was silent, save for the pounding rain and wind outside her room. The sound of the wolves' howling faded back into the dream as Stefan's face sharpened into her mind's eye. He had just saved her from an angry Tyler about to rip into her neck. If her heart had still been beating, it probably would have flown out of her chest. Every nightmare she'd ever had culminated into one horrifying experience she could have sworn was real.
She threw her legs off the side of the bed and gently placed them on the dingy carpet. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she stood, wiping a hand down her face and finding it wet.
Tears? Of course she'd been crying, it had been the most horrible, vivid dream since she'd transitioned and remembered all the things she'd been compelled to forget. She entered the tiny kitchen and pulled a blood bag from the fridge, amazingly happy she didn't have to fight to control the bloodlust with them like she did feeding live.
It allowed her to lose herself for a little bit, remind herself that it was just a dream. Stefan's face haunted her for a week uninterrupted after that night, making her think her feelings for Damon really were just from the siring.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
"The sire bond affects how you act, not how you feel." She could clearly remember Tyler's words ringing loudly in her head. Her feelings for Damon had been easy to fight before the transition. Both she and Stefan had already noticed something between her and his elder brother, but realized it was nothing compared to what they had.
Until she turned.
Then everything changed, with forever stretched out before her all she could see was Stefan keeping her sheltered, having her pretend she wasn't what she was or who she was. With Damon, she would be allowed to enjoy herself without actually hurting anyone.
She'd found herself more than once remembering what it felt like to be bitten and didn't quite recall it being that horrible of an experience. She knew the only danger lay with her self control, and that was a chance she didn't ever want to have to take again, not after Matt.
She was deeply ashamed of her behavior at the college with Damon, but it had felt so right. Who said she couldn't have her cake and lick some of the frosting too?
Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa
How could she have fallen so far without realizing what was happening? Everything was crazier than she ever could have imagined her life becoming, but it was far from bad. All the thoughts crowding her head sometimes felt as if they weren't her own, like she was a bystander examining these strange urges and needs without fully comprehending that they were hers. Not something created by Damon's blood running through her system, they were real. She had changed, in more ways than one.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
A memory of her and Stefan walking up the mountain after Damon had force fed her his blood caught her attention, and she examined the experience with fresh eyes. She hadn't thought about it once since she'd gotten to her temporary jail cell, but now it seemed so important she couldn't believe she missed it. I told Stefan I never wanted to be a vampire, is that why he won't accept me like this? Would he still love me if I chose to stay this way?
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
She had a sudden epiphany, a wide smile coming over her face as she flashed to the table where her cell phone lay. All this time away from them had not been in vain, her choice made, she sent a text message to Bonnie, Jeremy and Caroline.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh
I'm ready now, I don't care if you have the cure or not, its time for me to come home.
review review! I've got two companion pieces for this (In Stefan and Damon POV) if it gets a good response!