Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't profit from them but if JC would give them to me I'd do much better by them than has been done in S2.

A/N This is inspired by Logan's words to Max at the end of Borrowed Time – "If I had that time back I'd do things so differently". Takes place first season - what if he had done some things differently?

"Things are different now – the gun is loaded." When Bling said that to me today I about dropped in my tracks. Good thing my back was to him or he would have caught the immediate automatic reaction my body had to the thoughts that conjured up. Of course knowing Bling he probably knew what my reaction would be and said it just to provoke it. He proceeded to spend the rest of this afternoon harassing me about Max and didn't leave until he had managed to drive me into a complete state of nerves, so much so that I managed to cut my finger while slicing vegetables, something I haven't done in years. So now I sit here waiting for Max to show and trying not to think of what tonight may bring between the two of us.

The first time I saw her it was like I took a punch in the gut. She was robbing my place and I was holding a gun on her. I thought she was one of Sonrisa's people come to take out Lauren but when she turned and her eyes met mine all rational thoughts fled and it was all I could do to come up with anything coherent to say. Looking into her eyes was like coming home somehow. I didn't know who or what she was but I knew deep inside that she and I were meant to meet and be together. That's why after she dove out of my window I refused to let her go but instead went searching for her.

I'll never forget the first time I kissed her – the night she came to my place fuming over the fact that I had broken into her apartment and left her the Bast. I didn't intend to but when I had her there in front of the mirror and she turned her head back to face me I found myself pulled irresistibly towards her lips. I swear I felt a spark of electricity as our lips met and for a moment she returned my kiss. Then, as I started to put my arms around her to pull her in for a deeper kiss, she broke free and pulled back.

"No way." she declared. "Just 'cause you're some bored rich boy who thinks it might kick to fuck a cat burglar doesn't mean I'm going to oblige you. You can't buy me with a statue and some pretty words. It's been fun but I'm out of here." She whirled to leave and out of desperation I grabbed her hair and pulled it up exposing her barcode.

"You can leave Max but I know who you are." I said desperate to keep her there. She stopped dead at that as I expanded and told her I knew about Manticore and the fact that she was one of the '09 escapees. It wasn't the time for more so I dropped back into my cynical cyber journalist persona and we talked about Manticore and Eyes Only. She still ended up storming out but at least it wasn't over my making a pass at her. I wasn't going to give up, but then came the shooting and me ending up in this fucking wheelchair. Kind of put a damper on any romantic plans I might have wanted to try with her but on the positive side it brought her back. It might have been out of guilt but at least she was around and I had a chance to get to know her and to let her get to know me. She reminded me of an unbroken filly, skittish and shy, so I got smarter and took things much more slowly, not making any moves that might send her running again.

Over time she became more comfortable with me especially after I found Hannah Secova for her and then bailed her out when Lydecker came close to catching her and Hannah. She was there for me when my friend and mentor was killed because I was stupid enough to let his daughter play me, and we were there for each other when my ex-wife and her brother both dropped us flat on our respective asses.

Then came the genetics conference. When Bling had me turn on the television and I saw what was happening all I could think of was Max, held hostage by those fanatics. I pretended I was being the hero for all of the women and children there but in reality all I cared about was Max and getting her out of there alive. Naturally it backfired and instead of my rescuing her she dove off a rooftop and rescued me. For long moments we swung crazily from that rope until she managed somehow to guide us into the window and miraculously onto that hotel room bed.

After the initial rush of relief and then anger had subsided she was leaning over me, as I laid there flat on my back. Her face was so close I could fell her breath brushing my face, smelling faintly of cherries. On impulse I yanked the rope that was still around her waist and caught off guard she fell forward landing full on top of me. For the second time our lips met and this time she didn't pull back immediately. Instead for what seemed an eternity but was probably only seconds her lips moved gently on mine and I reveled in the softness and sweetness of their touch. Then, reluctantly it seemed, she sat up.

"Better go save the kid"

"Gotta go save the kid"

We said simultaneously and that was that. Our eyes met as she untied the rope around her waist then rose to leave but neither of us had anything to say. She turned just before she left the room and looked like she was going to say something but then thought better of it and quickly left. Good thing because right at that moment I wasn't sure what to say to her. Inwardly I was rejoicing that she hadn't flat out rejected me but I had no idea of what to say to her about it.

Next time I saw her it was a crisis mode over her sister and I got to meet her brother, Zack, who obviously took a hatred to me on first sight. Max might think of him as a brother, but as a man I could tell his feelings towards her were anything but brotherly. He challenged me over her and I let him know that I wasn't about to back down from Max. I've denied the feelings for months to Bling but I wasn't playing any games with Zack. The alpha male coming out in me? Maybe.

Somehow we never did get around to talking about that second kiss although a couple of times I caught Max watching me when she thought I wasn't looking. She had a considering look in her eyes but I wasn't about to push it too fast and send her running again. I regretted that when Lydecker put out an APB on her and it seemed she was going to have to leave Seattle for good. At the same time I had my own problem to deal with, a migrating bullet fragment and dangerous surgery to remove it. Realizing I might not ever come out from under the anesthesia I decided it was best she leave without knowing. It was probably the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, and it became even harder when we arrived at my uncle's cabin.

Zack went ahead inside leaving us to say our farewells. We managed to keep it pretty cool until Max was on her way to the cabin steps. Suddenly she turned, and before I knew what was happening, her lips were on mine and she was kissing me with a passion and feeling I had only dreamt of someday sharing with her. I never wanted that kiss to stop but in the end we had no choice. Our eyes locked once again and then I pushed her away gently telling her to go.

She came back though and saved my life again, this time with her miraculous transgenic blood. In the process we shared (I know we did) a marvelous dream where we danced together holding each other close to the soft sad strains of Sibelius' Valse Triste. Afterwards we still didn't talk about it but the look in her eyes when she visited me in the hospital was all I needed to see to know that I had somehow broken through those high walls she has around her emotions. Now all I needed to do was figure out how to get her to admit to it.

A/N Sorry this has started off rather slow but it will pick up as it goes along. The real difference in Logan's actions will come from TKAA on but they are based on the small ones I'm setting up here.

One more thing – please support NBML and send those letters and cards to Fox – we need our hero and heroine back and in character.