I've been thinking about writing this story for a while and BlakeisBensidy on Twitter said something about it today, so here it is. This is going to be a two shot, and this is the first part. The lyrics in the beginning are from Taylor Swift's Sad, Beautiful, Tragic. Enjoy!

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, this train runs off its tracks.
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back.

Olivia walked in to an empty apartment. She always seemed to come home to an empty apartment anymore. She missed Brian, she missed the feeling of being in his arms. It's part of his job now, she told herself. Their relationship had changed so much; they never got the chance to talk anymore. He usually got home and came right to bed, and all Olivia wanted to do was just see him, talk to him; hold him. They didn't even fight, she would love it right now if they would fight, because at least it would mean they were communicating. It was just… Silent.

Olivia made dinner, making Brian a plate and sticking it in the microwave as she had done every night for the last two months. She sat cross legged on the couch in a pair of old baggy sweats and one of his t-shirts, staring into the blank, black screen of their TV. Her eyes were puffy, and the tears just kept falling. She couldn't do anything to stop them. She looked at the clock. It was one in the morning. She was exhausted but she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. She heard the door open, but she didn't turn her head to see who it was.

She heard him rummaging around in the kitchen and she closed her eyes. She longed for the days where we would come home and rush to kiss her. Now, he barely acknowledged her presence. Had they become too comfortable? Was that such a thing? Olivia wasn't sure. She'd never been in a relationship like this before. He walked into the living room and sat next to her and flipped on the TV. She pushed herself off the couch and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door hard.

Brian looked from the TV to the bedroom door and he furrowed his brow. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her lately. Sure, he wasn't home a lot, but Olivia knew that it was his job, surely she wouldn't be upset with him for doing his job, for finally getting his detective's shield back, even if it meant that he had to work with her sworn enemy. Then he heard it, soft crying, an occasional choked out sob. He turned off the TV and walked to their bedroom, opening the door to see Olivia on the bed, her back to him, he heard her sobs, seeing them wrack her body. He walked over to her, sitting on the bed, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Liv?"

She shrugged him off, staring out their bedroom window. She didn't want to look at him; she didn't want to talk to him. It all hurt too badly. She took a few deep breaths, to calm herself down. She was curled up in a ball, tears had stained her pillow, as they had for so many nights before. She was at the end of her rope and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on.

"Baby, talk to me," Brian whispered softly, lovingly.

Her tears started all over again. He was loving, why couldn't he be like this all the time, not just when something was wrong. "I miss you," she choked out before her sobs took over again.

"I'm right here, hey, I'm right here. Look at me."

She shot up to a sitting position and looked at him, fire in her eyes. "You're here? Really, Brian? You haven't been here in months."

"I come—"

"You come home, physically. Emotionally, ever since the trial you've been distant. You barely acknowledge me anymore and I can't take it, Brain. We don't talk, we don't even fight, it's just silence. I can't do it anymore Brian." She looked away from him.

"Baby, what are you saying?"

She looked into his eyes, pursing her lips, getting her composure. "We're not working, Brian. We're broken and I don't think we can fix this."

He caressed her face and pulled her in for a kiss. He needed her, he needed her to stay. "Please, baby, don't do this."

"A kiss isn't going to fix this, Brian." She shook her head. "I think we're over."

"You think? You're not sure?"

She looked off at the wall and tried to maintain some form of composure. "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"You're the one breaking up with me Olivia. I don't want this."

"No? You sure as hell don't act like it. You walked in here tonight and didn't even look at me. You sat next to me and turned on the TV, ignoring the fact that my eyes were puffy and my face was tear stained."

"You're really hurting over this, aren't you?"

"What the fuck do you think? Of course I am. Brian I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, but I'm tired of loving a ghost. I can't do it anymore. And you can't quit your job at IA. We're at a crossroads here, Bri. I think the only way for us to continue on is to break up."

"We'll figure this out baby, please. Please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything. I'll tell Tucker to shove it up his ass and work security. I don't care, but baby please."

She shook her head. "It's over Bri."

His expression turned cold. "It's Nick, isn't it?"

Olivia looked at him, as if he had just pierced a hole in her heart. "What the hell are you talking about, Bri?

"There's something going on between you and Amaro."

"He's my partner Bri."

"That didn't stop you with Elliot."

She slapped him, hard. So hard she left a cut on his cheek bone from the ring she wore. "You son of a bitch," she spat. "Get out."

"Get out where."

"Get out of this bedroom, the apartment, out of my life. I'm done." She got up and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door.

"And just where the fuck am I supposed to go."

"Fuck if I know and hell if I care. Stay with Tucker for all I care. You two deserve each other. You're both miserable assholes," she called through the door, tears once again streaming down her face. She curled up in the corner, her knees to her chest, her head resting on them as she cried. She didn't understand how everything had gone to hell in less than an hour. She wanted to be with him. She loved him with everything she had, like she had never loved anyone else in her entire life. So why was she pushing him away, pushing him out?

She needed to stop him, get on her knees and beg for forgiveness, beg him to stay. She needed him. She got up and ran out, but he was gone. "No." She sobbed, gripping her chest. "No, Brian," she fell to her knees on the floor and sobbed. Brian heard her cries and for a brief moment considered turning back, rushing into their apartment and scooping her up in his arms, apologizing to her for being such an asshole, begging her to take him back. He loved her, but maybe some time apart would do them some good, so he kept walking.

xx

The days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months. Olivia and Brian had been broken up for two and a half months, and it had certainly taken its toll on Olivia. She wasn't sleeping, barely eating. She'd lost weight, her face was starting to sink in from exhaustion, dark circles graced her under eyes. The circles so dark, no amount of make-up could hide them. The squad noticed this and they were all concerned. Nick walked over to Olivia, who was sitting at her desk doing paperwork, which she did a lot of since becoming Sergeant. "Hey, Liv. You doing okay?"

She looked up at him with tired eyes, a pain hiding behind them. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You look like hell."

"Thanks, partner," she rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you go catch a few in the crib?"

She shook her head. "I'm not tired,"

"You want something to eat? I don't think I've seen you eat in days."

"Not hungry."

"Come on, Liv, you gotta take care of yourself."

"Yeah, Nick I got that. Thanks."

She got up and walked over to the coffee pot, pouring herself another cup of the liquid that was surely eating a hole in her stomach because it was the only thing she had ingested for weeks. It was the only thing keeping her going. She took a gulp of the warm liquid and walked back to her desk, feeling her stomach wretch. She closed her eyes, she tried to regain her composure. She put her coffee down and ran to the bathroom, emptying her stomach into the toilet. She walked to the sink and rinsed her mouth out and washed her hands before walking back to her desk, popping a piece of gum in her mouth. She went back to her paperwork.

This had become her routine at work. This was her normal. When she left work she went home to the apartment she used to share with Brian, she'd put on one of the t-shirts he left behind and curl up on the couch and put on the television. It was usually some mindless comedy like Will & Grace until she fell asleep on the couch for a short time before she would wake up crying. She hadn't slept in bed since she and Brian broke up. She couldn't. It felt wrong to sleep in the bed she shared with the only man she loved when he wasn't there to hold her, when he wasn't coming back.

The next day she went into the squad room and fell back into her routine. Captain Howard looked at her and called her into her office. "Olivia, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Olivia don't lie to me. Something is going on."

"No, it's nothing."

Howard knew that there was something more going on, but she didn't want to push her Sergeant. "Alright, take time if you need it, I need you taking care of yourself."

"Got it, Captain," she nodded and walked out of the older woman's office. She got halfway to her desk when everything started to spin, and she collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

Everyone ran to her side, Amanda was shaking her shoulder to try to wake her up. "Liv, Liv come on, wake up." She looked behind her. "Call a bus! She's unconscious." She felt for a pulse. "I got a pulse but it's weak, she needs a doctor now!"

The next thing Olivia could remember she was waking up in the hospital, in a private room. "What happened?" she asked the nurse who was at her bedside taking her blood pressure.

"You fainted. You were out for quite a while. You're extremely dehydrated, malnourished, and succumbed to exhaustion. You haven't been taking care of yourself."

She let out a breath and closed her eyes. "What am I doing?"

"Look, Olivia, I don't know what happened, but you need to take better care of yourself. Eating, sleeping, drinking more than just coffee. You have an ulcer in your stomach, probably a combination of ingesting nothing but coffee and stress. You're going to be here for a few days until we can get you back on a healthy path."

"I don't need to be here, I'll eat, I'll sleep, I'll drink a gallon of water a day, really I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can tell just by looking at you."

She rolled my eyes. "Is my squad here?"

"They had a case they had to work, but I can call them if you want."

She shook her head. "Don't bother them." She looked out the window. She wished she could rewind the past couple months and take it all back, so that Brian was here, and maybe she wouldn't be in the hospital.

"Oh, and Olivia, when we were doing tests… you're pregnant. About three months along."

Olivia looked into her eyes, and she gasped. "Wha— Pregnant?" She ran a hand through her hair and she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Of course I am."

"I know it's a lot. I'll let you be, get some rest." The nurse walked out of her hospital room and closed the door.

Olivia rolled on her side and she cried. "My baby," she whispered, rubbing her stomach. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Mama didn't know," she sobbed.

She heard the door open. "Olivia, your boyfriend is here."

She furrowed her brow. "I don't have a boyfriend. Tell him to leave."

The nurse took a deep breath. "He said he's not budging until he sees you."

Olivia took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "You couldn't make this day any worse, could you?" She rolled her eyes. "Send him in."

Olivia saw Brian walk into the room, two bouquets of flowers in his arms. Brian looked over her and his face fell. "Liv."

She smiled sadly, tears in her eyes. "Bri," she managed to choke out.

A/N: Thanks for reading, please review here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista. The final chapter is going to leave you with a smile on your face, I promise.