Tipton 8
Regan Tipton
Mr. Denton and Mrs. VanSchoelandt
CP English 10
13 September 2012
Madea Goes to School
Everyone has different reasons for going to school. Some go because they are forced while others go simply because they never got a high enough education to get a decent job. That's what happened in Madea's case. She got in trouble for drugs once again and as a punishment the court made it mandatory for her to get a job, but she only had a middle school education. She applied multiple places but they didn't want someone who had barely any knowledge.
That gave her no choice but to go back to school. But there was no way she was going by herself, so she dragged Mr. Brown and her brother Joe to school with her. Although none of them were overly thrilled, they all got ready for school and drove down there anyway.
They whipped into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, making all the other students stop and turn around to stare. When the three of them jumped out of the car, there was silence among the entire campus. As they proceeded to make their journey to the school office to get their schedules, they stretched out across the sidewalk making all the curious observers jump out of the way so they didn't get knocked over. Little did they all know that their whole day was about to be changed.
Madea was greeted at the office door by the principal, Mr. Dort. He didn't have a very happy expression on his face. "When you see someone you know you're supposed to acknowledge them Sir!" exclaimed Madea. Mr. Dort raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Excuse me Ma'am. Is that any way to talk to authority?"
"Authority?" She turned and looks at Joe and Mr. Brown. "Did this bald headed, Buddha- looking, thirty year old man just say something about authority?"
"He did! He did! You better get him Madea!" Joe replied.
"Joe, shut your mouth!" she said as she turned back to Mr. Dort to make sure he knew that she was talking to him. "I don't know who you are or what you do but you have no authority!"
"You must be Madea. I have heard a lot about you. Welcome to Midwest Georgia High! I hope you will find yourself comfortable in our school. I hope you will have more respect for your teachers than you do me," Mr. Dort said as nicely as possible. Madea, ignoring his comment, motioned Mr. Brown and Joe to follow her.
The school counselor, Mrs. Log was sitting at her desk when they arrived. She appeared to be busy and didn't acknowledge that they were there. There is no way this woman didn't see three big black people walk up in here! Madea thought to herself. "Hhm Hhm Hhm! Excuse me."
"What can I do for you?" Mrs. Log said without looking up.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Madea exclaimed with great force.
Mrs. Dort looked up, rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry. What can I do for you?"
"We came to get our schedules."
"What are your names?'
"I'm Madea and this is Mr. Brown and Joe."
"Last names?"
"I'm Madea. How many Madea's do you know?" Madea said moving her head around in a dramatic circle.
"Sorry! I will get that for you right away!"
"Thank you, Ma'am."
Mrs. Log did ten minutes worth of fiddling on her computer then finally printed off the schedules for the three of them. Once they received their schedules, they headed towards their first hour classes, which didn't happen to be the same class. Joe had Culinary first hour, Mr. Brown had Art and Madea had Gym.
The guys had a great time in their classes and got along great with the other students but Madea was a different story. Things started off terribly from the very start. While dressing out, the other girls had a dead stare on her. She turned around as soon as she realized and began yelling saying stuff like "This isn't a zoo, so if you don't want to die today I suggest you turn around!" and "I will turn your head so far around it snaps off if you don't do it yourself."
Once they got in the gym things only got worse. The game of the day was dodgeball and Madea got a little aggressive. When the teacher blew her whistle for the girls to run and get the balls, Madea took off, which caused the other girls to stop in their place, all except for one anyway. It came down to being Madea on one side and a girl named Stacey on the other. Stacey, being little and in shape made it to the balls first, with Madea making it a few seconds later, then it was on. They went back and forth throwing balls, but they both seemed to block every one. Eventually they gave up and began trying to eliminate the scared girls standing in the back.
It came down to four girls, two on one side and two on the other. Nothing was getting accomplished so the teacher blew her whistle saying, "You can now move to the free throw line on the opposing side." Madea made her move as soon as that was said, getting out the other girl on Stacey's team. Madea was in the process of doing a little joy dance when she got slammed in the back of the head with a ball.
She turned around instantly with a look of death in her eyes. Stacey was standing behind her with another ball in her hand waiting to attack. Madea grabbed the ball right out of her hand and chucked it at her face. She won't mess with me again. Madea thought wrong though. Stacey started running towards Madea with her fist out, yelling, "I'm gonna kill you!" Madea backed up a little as if in fear but then got in a crouched position with her fist out. When Stacey finally reached her, Madea's outstretched fist hit her right in the face. Stacey automatically fell to the ground screaming and crying her head off. Madea stood up and looked at her, laughing.
The teacher was standing beside her within a matter of seconds screaming, "Go to the office right this second!" Madea didn't say a word; she just stuck her hands up in the air and walked away. When she got to the office, Mr. Dort was waiting on her.
"Madea Simmonds! I am very disappointed!" Mr. Dort said.
"That's my name don't wear it out!" Madea replied with a smirk on her face.
"This isn't funny! We have a strict policy about fighting here at Midwest Georgia High!"
"Did I laugh?" Madea asked sarcastically.
"This isn't the time for your attitude either! Go to my office and have a seat!"
"Yes sir!" Madea walked into his office and sat down. At this point she was laughing hysterically. This man thinks he is going to tell me what to do… Oh H no! As Mr. Dort walked into his office, she managed to pull herself together and put on an almost serious face.
"Do you know the punishment for incidents like this?"
"No but I'm sure that you're about to tell me."
"You're correct! The normal punishment for fighting is three days of suspension, but in your particular case it could be expulsion."
"Okay?"
"You obviously aren't taking this very seriously, so I am going to send you home while I think about which punishment you deserve."
"Peace out boy scout!" Madea said as she began to stand up to leave.
"Report back here in an hour."
"I can't promise that will happen but I will try!" Madea said as she walked out of his
office. She was thrilled that he sent her home. She sang to herself and laughed all the way to her car, where she then peeled out and headed for home. She had just pulled up in front of her house when her phone started ringing. She dug around in her bag for a couple minutes before she found her phone but then answered it saying, "Hello?"
"Hello, this is Mr. Dort. I have decided on your punishment and would like to speak to you in person as soon as possible!"
"I just got home!" Madea said with annoyance in her voice.
"I know Ma'am. Sorry for the inconvenience."
"Dang straight it's an inconvenience!"
"Please just report back as soon as possible." Click!
Oh no he did not just hang up on me! Madea put her keys back in the ignition and sped off. It normally took her five or six minutes to get to the school but she made it in an all-time record at two and a half minutes. She didn't waste time trying to find a parking spot; she just simply drove over the curb and parked right in front of the main doors. She got out of her car, slamming the door and fast walked into the building where Mr. Dort was once again waiting for her. She had planned to yell at him when she saw him but when it finally happened she decided that maybe it wasn't such a good idea because she really didn't want to go back to jail.
"That was fast! Thank you so much for being here directly!"
"What did you decide?"
"Come! Follow me into my office where we can have a little bit of privacy." Madea had no choice but to follow him, so she did. When they were both in Mr. Dort's office he then proceeded to tell Madea what he had decided. "I have decided that I don't feel comfortable suspending or expelling you because I simply couldn't live with myself if I knew that someone was in jail because of me, so I have talked to all your teachers, they are to keep a good eye on you. This is your last chance though. Fighting will not go unpunished any…" Mr. Dort was interrupted by the ringing of Madea's phone. Madea stuck up her finger urging Mr. Dort to stop talking for a minute and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Madea Simmonds?"
"Yes, that's me!"
"Hi, this is Sonic! We are calling you back in regards of a job application that you filled out. We had another employee quit last week and were wondering if you still have interest in working for us?"
"YES!" Madea screamed with a great amount of joy in her voice.
"Thank you so much. We would need you to start tomorrow with training. Will that be alright?"
"Yes I will be there!" Madea exclaimed.
"We will see you tomorrow then! Have a good rest of your day!"
"You too!" Click! "Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Dort. That was my call to drop out of schooland go home! Thank you for your consideration but I'm done. You have a nice day!"
"You can't just leave like that!" exclaimed Mr. Dort.
"I am a fifty year old woman, so I do what I want!" Madea said as she jumped out of the chair she had been sitting in and skipped out of the office. Once she was in the hallway she got on her phone and called Joe. "Get your big black butt out of class and bring stupid with you. We are going home!"
"Anything for you Madea. Ha ha ha!"
"Just shut up and go to the car!" Click!
Madea put her phone back in her bag and continued out of the school. "Hallelujah, hallelujah! I'm free at last!" she sang loudly as she walked out the front doors of Midwest Georgia High, never to return again.
Sonic was a great place for Madea to be. Her boss had a great sense of humor so Madea's constant attitude and smart remarks were well accepted.