Dude wheres my Car! Script Rewrite

by TiensTrashWaifuPillows

Jesse and Chester awaken with hangovers and no memory of the previous night. The television is on, showing an Animal Planet program about how animals use twigs and rocks as tools to get food. Their refrigerator is filled with containers of chocolate pudding, and the answering machine contains an angry message from their twin girlfriends Wilma and Wanda as to their whereabouts. They

"DUDE WHERES MY CAR?"

By

A Homeless man

FAde In:

tHE CAR

Ashtyn and that guy from American pie are looking for Ashtyn's car

Ashtyn

Dude… where's my car?

THAT GUY FROM AMERICAN PIE

Wheres ya car duddddeeeee?

They look around confused

ashtyn

Dude seriously where's my car

that guy from american pie

I don't know dude

Ashtyn grabs onto that guy from American pie with anger

ashtyn

I swear to fuck if you've taken the fucking car again I'll fucking sue.

That guy from american pie

I didn't take you fucking car dude.

ashtyn

Dude seriously, it's a rental. If I go even a month of it time limit I'll get my penis chopped off by the mafia

That guy from american pie

Good.

Ashtyn

What did you just fucking say…

That guy from american pie

I said, Good.

Ashtyn

Dude, do you wanna fucking die?

That guy from american pie

No, but I wanna fuck that taint asshole of yours.

Ashtyn

…Good…

Ashtyn kisses him.

They start to fuck furiously and they jizz all over each other's toes and nipple hairs.

FAde Out:

End of Scene

FAde In:

tHE aftermath

Ashtyn and that guy from American pie are laying on the bed, covered in each other's semen.

Ashtyn

*panting* Dude, where's my car.

THAT GUY FROM AMERICAN PIE

Where ya car dude?

Fade out

The End