Title: "My Final Request..."
Author: LegolasLover2003 aka Ashley
Category: Book - "Lord of the Rings"
Genre: Angst/Drama
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to "The Lord of the Rings". I just adore it to pieces! Also, I don't own rights to Josh Groban's music nor the song "Home To Stay". I DO however own rights to the poem that you see composed by Legolas.
Author's Note: This story was written for the April 2007 challenge in the Teitho Fanfiction Contest. It did not, however, place in the contest. Also, be warned of character death.
How could I have ever let myself believe,
That you were immortal,
That you were like me?
Why couldn't I see,
The ages passing,
The leaves changing?
I saw them with you.
I was a part of you.
You a part of me.
Two bodies, one heart.
One soul shared.
One life lived.
You were my brother, my friend.
Once a child,
Now a man.
Why wasn't I more for you?
Such little time…
I can't return to change it.
The past, the present.
Where is my future?
Sorrow is my only friend.
Pain, now my brother.
For that which I cared most for,
Is now lost to me forever.
You are home…
And I have been cruelly left behind…
-Caun Laegolas Thranduilion
My Final Request…
"My lord!"
Piercing blue eyes rose from behind a mountain of parchments. There was an unspoken question in them as they caught the gaze of the Elf before him.
"Yes, Caldor?" Legolas asked as he set his quill down.
The prince leaned back in his chair, his gaze narrowing in concern at the look upon his aid's face.
Caldor hesitated for a moment before presenting an open scroll to his lord. "I… I was told this was an urgent matter, my lord." He said, trying to explain his reasons for opening the once sealed parchment.
The prince took the scroll, unrolling it and allowing his eyes to scan the document.
"Legolas, I…"
But Caldor's words froze in his throat as he watched his lord set the scroll down upon the desk. Legolas' own gaze averted itself from the concerned eyes of his friend.
"Caldor, ready my horse."
The aid stepped forward, "Of course, my lord."
"I will be along soon."
The detached and emotionless tone of the younger Elf's voice struck Caldor to his very soul. "Legolas, I…"
"Leave me, Caldor."
He bowed, "As you wish, my lord. I shall see to it that you are not disturbed until you wish to leave."
With that, Caldor walked from the room, closing the doors to the prince's study behind him.
For a long moment, Legolas did nothing. His face an emotionless mask, placed before him to conceal his thoughts and feelings from the aid.
He sighed, his blue gaze falling upon the still open scroll on his desk. Tears began to prick at the prince's eyes, a lump forming in his throat as he struggled to contain that which threatened to overwhelm him.
Legolas' eyes closed. He shook his head slightly before leaning his head on his open palms, his elbows resting upon the redwood desk.
A tremor ran through the prince's body, his shoulders shaking as a sob broke through his composure.
"Aragorn…"
Im henio le gar-crom.
Im tirnin le gwanno.
I understand you have left.
I watched you depart.
I know you're gone.
I watched you leave.
"Dear Legolas…"
The prince smiled sadly as he was embraced at the doors to the palace of Minas Tirith. Arwen's gentle face, so composed, yet full of love, shone back at him.
Their eyes connected, and both could feel the despair radiate from the other.
"How long?" Legolas whispered as they turned, both walking into the palace and the warmth of its halls.
A warmth that could be felt by none that day.
Arwen's eyes remained locked with the path in which they walked. "Not long… a day, maybe more…"
Though he hated to ask, though he dreaded the lady's answer…
Legolas had to know.
"What will you do, my lady?"
The Queen looked to him as she slowly shook her head. "I know not, Legolas… I knew this day would come… we both did… but I had not hoped it to be so very soon."
Legolas nodded, "I have dreaded this day for countless years. So many times I had thought we would meet our end…"
"He did not wish to die upon the battlefield, Legolas." Arwen replied as a nearby servant opened a door to allow their passing. "We have spoken on the matter… Estel will not die by the sword, but neither does he wish to meet his doom by age's cruel scythe."
"He will give up his soul then." Legolas whispered and, for a moment, he found that he could not move forward.
Arwen turned to him, pulling the Elven prince's hands into her own. "He has made his choice, Legolas. It is only right that we abide by that wish."
A small smile found its way to the prince's expression. "Estel was always stubborn…"
Ir pan lynt
Gar-remmen palan
A pan raid
Taithannen a thar-tobonnen
Ir pan min
Onen pedo.
Im innas tegi le ad
Bar an dortho.
When all boats
Have sailed far
And all paths
Marked and covered over
When all roads
Gave say
I will bring you back
Home to stay
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
"Mellon nin."
Gray eyes met a gaze of crystalline blue as the Elven prince came to stand at the bedside of the King of Gondor.
Legolas smiled slightly, "Gwador nin…" he whispered, clasping the hand of his longtime friend.
Aragorn returned the smile, but he knew not what to say for a long moment.
The two, left alone in the chamber together, watched one another for many minutes before the prince finally found the courage to speak.
"The Lady Arwen tells me that you…" Legolas' voice caught, and he had to swallow the lump in his throat to speak once more. "That you shall commend your spirit to Mandos this day."
The king nodded slightly, "I shall. I do not wish to burden any by my passing with age and so,"
"So you think it will be easier on us to see you go of your own will?" Legolas asked, a slight undertone of anger in his usually melodic voice.
Aragorn's eyes narrowed, "Think not of it as such, mellon nin."
"Then how should I take it?" the prince replied, releasing the man's hand and moving away from the bed.
He took refuge by looking out the windows of the balcony. The sun warmed him, and he tried to think of happier things.
But it was no use.
"How should I take it?" he found himself whispering once more.
Im garo tiw le onen an nin
Tiro palan-le eltha crom
I have the letters you gave to me
Look far your dreams left
I have the cards you sent to me
Look how far your dreaming's gone
"I feel my age, Legolas." Aragorn said as he pushed himself up, sitting against the bed's headboard. "In a few months time, I fear that I shall no longer be myself." His gray eyes stared at the prince's back. "Already I see the signs. I am not who I once was…"
"None of us are." Legolas replied, his arms crossed over his chest as he hugged himself. His blue gaze turned to watch Aragorn closely. "None of us are who we once were…"
"But you are immortal." The king replied. "I am not. We both knew that one day…"
"One day you would die." Legolas spoke plainly, his voice emotionless. "I thanked the Valar at the end of every day because I had not lost you." He shook his head, "I can not bear to say goodbye."
Aragorn smiled sadly, "Still a princling in so many ways…" he whispered.
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" the blond Elf asked angrily.
"It means, my dearest friend… that you can not always have things how you wish them to be."
Legolas looked away, but he realized that his friend truly was right. When things did not go the prince's way, he tried his hardest to change them.
Could he change death?
No… and it made him feel all the more powerless.
"I cried, you know…" the prince whispered, his eyes once more on the sunny day outside. "When Caldor brought me your message… I cried for you."
Ir pan gobil tiro u-minai
Ir pan mith norn caro
Ir pan cant dolen am
Im innas tegi le ad
Bar an dortho.
When all towns look not unique.
When all ends hard to make
When all images hidden up
I will bring you back
Home to stay
When every town looks just the same.
When every choice gets hard to make.
When every map is put away.
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay.
"Why?"
Legolas shook his head, but he would not allow the man to see the tears in his eyes. "I fear to lose you."
"Legolas…"
"I have known you for so very long." The prince continued, not wishing to hide the truth of his heart. "You have always been there. So much… there is still so much we could do…"
Aragorn sighed, "I am old, Legolas. Humans are not meant to live as long as I."
Legolas turned quickly, tears evident in his eyes. "There must be something that can be done." He spoke. "You are of Elven blood, Estel… could you not plead with the Valar to be given entrance to Valinor?"
"It is not my place."
"But what of Arwen?" Legolas continued. "She will surely travel to the Undying Lands with you if you ask her. Eldarion would surely follow when his time came. What of Elladan and Elrohir… of Elrond…" he shook his head, a tear escaping to roll gently down one cheek. "I refuse to believe that…"
But the man was shaking his head. "Legolas… mellon nin… I have made my peace with this life. Arwen understands… Eldarion understands… my brothers understand…" a frown came to his expression. "Why can you not?"
Legolas turned away once more, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I can not understand because I…"
"Because you do not wish to…" Aragorn finished for him.
The prince nodded slightly as silence filled the space between the two friends.
"I do not wish to lose you, Estel." Legolas whispered, and the mere sound of such pain brought a wince to the king.
Aragorn beckoned his friend over, "Come, Legolas… Sit with me."
The Elf did as asked, placing himself in a chair at the man's bedside. Aragorn reached one hand out, placing it atop the prince's own fair hand.
"You will never lose me."
An si im isto-le baur an gwanno erui
Ias dor min?
And now I know you need to depart alone
Where's the place between?
And now I know why you had to go alone.
Isn't there a place between?
"You will never, ever, lose me, Legolas. I swear it to you."
Legolas could no longer hold back his tears. As the prince's emotions flooded forth, Aragorn pulled the Elf to him. Legolas allowed himself to be held as he let his tears fall.
"The memories we share. Good and bad. They will be with you always, mellon nin." The man whispered softly. "This world will go on without me. Almost all of our friends have passed, Legolas. So many whom we both have loved have died and the loss of them hurts me more than I can bear… But that does not mean I forget them."
Legolas sighed, his hands clenching the king's tunic as he tried to compose himself. "Iston…" the Elf whispered brokenly. "But this does not make it any easier."
Aragorn laughed softly at this, releasing the prince to allow Legolas to sit up once more. The Elf's shining blue eyes locked with his own gray gaze.
"Legolas… You have a family who waits for you on the shores of Valinor. Will you go to them when I am gone?" he asked.
The prince nodded, "Ada asked me the same thing once. He asked if, when you passed from this world, if I would find my way home to him once more."
"And just as you go home, Legolas… so too do I." Aragorn replied with a sad smile. "My father… my mother… they wait for me, just as yours do for you."
Legolas sighed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Then… then I suppose I understand, Estel… I understand why you must go."
"I wish not to burden those whom I love, Legolas…"
The prince nodded, "And I wish not to burden you with my own silliness."
Aragorn shook his head. "'Tis not silliness, mellon nin. You grieve, just as I know Arwen will."
Silence stretched between them once more, and eventually, it was the prince who spoke up.
"What will you do?" he asked. "I mean… Eldarion has already taken your place as king… but what of your beloved?"
The man sighed, "Arwen… I pray she travels to Valinor… yet I fear I know her heart. She wishes to fade, just as I shall, from this world. Just as I could not live without her…"
"She can not live without you." The Elf finished for him. "And yet you ask me to…"
Aragorn shook his head. "I ask you to go home, Legolas. This very day if you must, but I ask you to leave this place and never to return. That is my one and final request, mellon nin."
Legolas smiled sadly as he shook his head. He took the king's hand in his own, clasping it tightly and placing it over his heart.
"I shall not leave your side, gwador nin… Not until your spirit is taken by Mandos. I will never, ever, leave your side, Estel."
"Legolas…"
But the prince remained unshakeable on that. He smiled sadly. "I will remain here until you are gone… then… only then… will I go home as well."
Ir pan lynt
Gar-remmen palan
A pan raid
Taithannen a thar-tobonnen
Ir pan min
Onen pedo.
Im innas tegi le ad
Bar an dortho.
When all boats
Have sailed far
And all paths
Marked and covered over
When all roads
Gave say
I will bring you back
Home to stay
When every boat
Has sailed away
And every path
Is marked and paved
When every road
Has had its say
Then I'll be bringing you back
Home to stay
"What will ye do now, laddie?"
Legolas sighed, his gaze tilted up to lock with the blue sky above. The clouds had parted, and the rain of that fateful day was now drying beneath the sun's pure rays.
"I do not know."
Gimli hrumphed, tilting his stance slightly so that he could lean against the wall behind him. "Ye hav'ta do somethin'. Not goin' back to yer forests are ye?"
"No." the prince replied sadly, "No… Caldor will care for the Elves of Ithilien now. They are all that remain of our kind in this world…"
Still however, the dwarf would not have his question ignored so easily. "Then…"
Legolas looked down at the stout being, tears in his blue eyes. "Then what?" he asked, though it was obvious that the prince was barely able to form sentences without allowing his grief to overtake him.
At the sight of his companion, the dwarf suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
"Then what?" the prince replied, blinking away the tears as he focused on Gimli.
"I uh… Then what will ye be doin'?"
The Elf sighed as his gaze found the horizon. "I will go home."
"Home?" Gimli asked in amazement. "Are ye daft, Elf? There's nothin' in them woods to tha…"
"Not to Eryn Lasgalen, Gimli." Legolas replied, pointing west. "I will truly go home."
"Oh…"
The prince's answer seemed to greatly dishearten the old dwarf. Gimli's gaze found the ground as he kicked at a few rocks with his boots.
A smile crossed the Elf's face as he spoke teasingly, "And what shall you ever do with me gone?"
Gimli's gaze went to Legolas immediately. "Bah! I can do quite well fer meself without ye!"
"Can you?" Legolas asked before crouching down until he was eye-level with his small friend. "And what, do you think, would an old dwarf say to a little sailing adventure, hm?"
This caused Gimli's eyes to narrow. "Just what're ye suggestin', Elf?"
"A little wager for adventure, my friend." Legolas replied with a smile. "I'll bet all of my lands in Ithilien that you would be allowed in Valinor."
Gimli's eyes went from narrowed to surprised. The dwarf sputtered for a few moments before he thrust out one hand.
"It's a bet then, laddie. Yer lands in Ithilien to me own Glitterin' Caves. "
Legolas took his friend's hand. "Hannon le, Gimli…" the Elf whispered before full out hugging the dwarf. "Hannon le…"
It was not long later, that both Legolas and Gimli sailed west to Valinor's Undying Lands. But neither forgot the man whose friendship had inspired them both.
Aragorn… Estel… would always remain with them.
Ratha-ed-an nin
Can-ed-nin eneth
A im innas tegi le ad ad
Sir
Reach out to me
Call out my name
And I will bring you back again
Today
Reach out to me
Call out my name
And I will bring you back again
Today
THE END…
Words To Know:
Mellon nin - My friend
Iston - I know
Gwador nin - My brother (non-related brothers)
Hannon le - Thank you
Author's Note:
The song used throughout was Josh Groban's "Home To Stay" from his self titled first album. Parts of the song were omitted since they fell out of context.
The Elvish translation of "Home To Stay" was done by me (and it's not perfect).
Also, the Bolded part of the song is the Elvish translation, the italics part of the song is the literal English translation, and the normal text part of the song are the actual Josh Groban song lyrics.
The poem used at the beginning was written by me. It is entitled, "Left Behind".
Lastly, the poem is signed "Caun Laegolas Thranduilion". Caun means Prince and Thranduilion means Son of Thranduil. The strange spelling of Legolas however is how it would truly be spelt in Sindarin.