It's been years since the evil Deity of Sin has been vanquished from Gamindustri. With the evil organisation known as ASIC in shambles, the four protectors known as CPUs could finally rest and take a well-deserved break.
Enter Lowee's CPU: Blanc. A young-looking, ageless girl with a thirst for poetry. If you'd ask her friends what they would know her for, reading like a bookworm would probably be the third thing that would come to mind.
For the other two things... Well... Let's say she has a bit of a 'flat temper' if you know what I'm saying.
In any case, back to Blanc's hobby. She'd read any good book three times over. Once for the story, once for the choice of words the writer used and once to truly understand a character's development.
Of course, this made the short CPU a critic with a refined taste. She'd only appreciate the finest works of art. She wouldn't bother reading more than three pages of a poorly written story. This however came with a problem.
Blanc laid on her bed staring at the ceiling in silence, the only sound being the old grandfather clock ticking away with each second. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
It had just been a few minutes after dinner. Both Rom and Ram wouldn't stop talking about their new picture book. And when they asked what Blanc was currently reading, she responded with 'nothing important.'
Truth be told, she wasn't reading anything. She had already exhausted her bassilicom's library. Having read every decent book thrice in less than a year gave her a lot of free time outside of work.
Blanc pulled herself in a sitting position and turned her head to the ticking clock.
"Half past seven." She read out loud. "Maybe I should just go shopping. I'm sure the local library is still open by this time."
When she was about to put on her coat, she looked out the window. The view was as colourless as the snow made it. With the trees having a frosty layer of snow, the pavement being replaced by a trail of slippery ice and the wind carrying more snowflakes than you can count. Maybe the wind was blowing a little too hard.
"A blizzard?"
It wasn't strange for Lowee to have sudden blizzards just come and go. But now of all times?
"Ugh. I suppose I'll have to wait for tomorrow then." Blanc complained as she tossed her coat back on her bed.
"Maybe I should just browse the internet." Blanc thought. "Maybe I can check the online library for any good rated books."
Having thought of a great way of killing time, the short CPU made her way to her office.
Within a few minutes, Blanc had booted up her computer and opened her preferred web browser: Loogle Rome.
For the next minute or so, she stared at the screen. She had forgotten the name of the library.
She sighed. "One bad thing after another. Let's just try and search for something else. Anything else."
First, Blanc decided to check her Chirper (That's HDN equivalent of Twitter if you didn't know).
No one beside Nep-Nep#1 had updated their status. And unsurprisingly for Blanc, Neptune's status had changed from eating to sleeping with a link bellow it of a funny cat video. The video killed about five minutes of time.
"Let's pretend I never watched that. I don't want to drown in the adorableness that is known as the feline race." Blanc said to herself, trying her best to say "I don't want to binge watch cat videos" as posh as she could.
Second, Blanc decided to check her mail. It was filled with spam for some reason.
"I knew I shouldn't have given Vert my E-mail address."
Lastly, Blanc was about to give up when in a last attempt to amuse herself she simply typed 'fiction' in the search bar. Maybe some online fiction forum would pop up. It's worth trying. Anything is better than being stuck inside doing nothing.
"Let's see... grr... These are just the definition of fiction damn it. Does this thing think I'm stupid or something? Give me something to do you piece of scrap!"
Clearly losing her temper, she decided to be a little more specific.
"Written Fiction Online. Enter. This better be good."
As she browsed through the result, she noticed one result in particular that interested her.
"FanFiction? What's that?"
Despite all odds, it seems our undersized connoisseur has never heard of a Fanfiction before. Which could be considered a good thing or a bad thing... I'm looking at you, M-rated Sonic fics. I don't even dare click any of you.
...
Ahem.
Anyway,
Without knowing what she was in for, the bookworm decide to give it a try.
"Fanfiction." She read out loud once more. "Unleash you imagination. And there's a wide variety of categories... Hmm... I wonder..."
Clicking on the search bar, Blanc decided to type in her own name as a joke. At first glance, not a single result matched with her expectations. Just like she had imagined. But when she looked around a little more, her heart skipped a beat.
"H-Hyper... Dimension... Neptunia?"
She had often heard Neptune joke about it. Their lives being actually a game called HyperDimension Neptunia. But to actually see it on a website meant for fans to make up their own stories about fictional characters was quite shocking.
"N-no... This has to be some kind of sick joke. M-maybe they just categorised it wrong. Yeah that must be it."
Convinced the website made a mistake, she decided to check out the category as a whole.
"Let's see here... There's some interesting things here. Let's just pick the first thing that looks like it would be written by a talented artist."
Scrolling through the summaries, Blanc stumbled upon a deep, yet poetic summary.
'Some say our lives have already been written out for us. All the friends we make. All the paths we take. Everything. Of course, such a convenient book does not exist. But what if it did. What if someone held their own future in a single journal. Would such knowledge be used for the better of others? Or for personal gain?'
"An interesting thought. This summary really takes hold of the scale between good and evil in the common man. Would we truly do the right thing if we had such power or would we toss everything aside and let our inner demon's greed take over. This must've been written by a very talented writer."
Even though she didn't really understand how any of this was related to the lives of her or her friends, she decided to give it a try.
"Let's see... Oh. Looks like this story is about Noire. Walking down the streets of Lastation. So far the writer made use of the old lone walking Cliché."
A few minutes later
"I regret reading this. I must now cleanse my mind with daily dose of milk for the next seven years. Post review."
Blanc had but to read half of the prologue to recognise that this story was absolutely horrendous. Everything felt so forced. And there were about fourteen chapters of this, not counting all the things in-between.
"If this is the quality I can expect of the every story on here, I'll ban this website from Lowee for good."
However, she decided to try one more story. You can't judge a book just because one chapter is bad.
"This time, I'll search for something including myself... Let's see..."
After searching a bit, she finally found something that attracted her attention.
'HDN: Christmas Countdown: Blanc is dragged into something she doesn't want to be in. She'll change her mind soon enough.'
The sides of her mouth slowly formed a tiny smile. "Funny enough, this describes the situation I'm in right now. I guess we have a winner. This better be decent at least."
Having very low expectations, the tiny connoisseur began reading the story.
About half an hour later
"Not bad. Post review."
'Not bad' was quite an understatement. She actually enjoyed the story. From the excellent choice of words to the realistic character decisions, she would rate it seven out of ten.
Of course, actually posting that would only convince the author that they're already good, which means they won't try as hard to get better, so she decided to stay humble.
Besides, she still thought it was only above average. Compared to the many other stories she had read so far (one).
"Perhaps I'll read one more..."
And so she did. And another. And another. And another. Until already a week worth of time had already passed. For the first time in forever, Blanc had finally found a new hobby.
But after reading all of these stories, Blanc felt a little empty. Sure, she enjoyed reading about all her friends and how people would portray them. But what if she herself would write one of those 'fanfictions'?
It's been over a week now. And after reading some of the best stories (and some of the worst), she wanted to 'unleash her imagination'.
"That's it! I'll write a story that will blow these people off their chairs!" Blanc shouted with all her heart.
She quickly regained her composure and blushed a little as she realised she was shouting to herself in her own office. Luckily, that also meant there was no one around to make fun of her.
"Let's see..." Blanc rubbed her temple, staring at the notepad on screen. "What should my story be about..."
The first step of writing a good story was an idea. A quote from one of her favourite authors: "It isn't you who find the idea, but the idea that finds you."
Which means you can't force a good idea. Something like that will come naturally.
One hour later
"...Hngg..."
But considering the idea had an entire week to find its writer, Blanc was getting a little frustrated she still had no clue what her story even should be about.
"GAAAH! SCREW THIS! It's going to be a fantasy romance story."
*type* *type* *type*
"And the main character is going to be..."
*type* *type* *type* *type*
"And the my choice of OC is..."
*typetypetypetypetype*
"And the plot twist is..."
*Typing intensified*
"DONE! Aaaand. Upload!"
*click*
"..."
At last, our little critic has finally managed to write an 'amazing' story. This will surely show those nerds how to write a story.
"..."
"... Maybe I should have proof read it first."
The next morning
"Would you like some more tea, lady Blanc?" Mina asked. When Blanc gave a confirming nod and held her cup forward, Mina refilled her CPU's cup. She noticed how her mistress' hand was visibly shaking as she had her cup refilled.
"If I may ask, is there something bothering you?"
"Hm? Why so? It's just another Monday morning. What could I possibly be worried about."
Mina simply stared at Blanc. Blanc looked back at her with her usual poker face. Slowly her attendant's eyes trailed towards her shaking hand. Following suit, she also looked at her hand. She grabbed her hand and pulled it under the dinner table. "It's nothing. Really."
"Very well. But if something's bothering you, feel free to ask me of anything. I'll be getting the twins out of bed now."
With Mina out of the room, Blanc was alone once more. Truth be told, she was quite nervous about how the people would review her story. Would they be as harsh as she was when she read her first story? Would they be able to appreciate her work of art? She simply had to know.
Leaving her breakfast half way done, she got up and headed for her office.
"I'm sure people love my work. Yeah. They're probably begging for the next chapter in the reviews."
When she heard someone knock on the door however, Blanc stopped. "A guest? At this time?"
Moving down the stairs she was left wondering who could be knocking on her front door at this time.
She was about to open the door when she heard some annoying unending laughter on the other side.
"... Please don't let it be her."
Opening the door, Blanc came face to face with both CPUs from Planeptune; Neptune and Nepgear. The first rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.
"Ahahahha! O-da-HAHA!"
"Uhm... Neptune?"
"Oh! Hello Blanc. I'm really sorry we came so suddenly, but... Neptune's been laughing like crazy all night and she demanded we would let her see you."
"HAHAAHA! And then he-... he-... he-... pffAhahahaa!"
"I, uh... I see. Do come on."
After Nepgear carried her big sister inside, she set her down on Blanc's bed.
It only took Neptune half an hour to finally recover from her outburst.
"ehe.. eheheh... Okay... I think... I think I'm done." She snickered with a dumb smile on her face.
"Are you finally going to tell us what you were so worked up about?" Blanc asked slightly annoyed.
"Alright. Alright. Blanc. I must borrow your computer for a sec. You gotta see this."
"My computer? But why?"
"Just trust me. You're going to love this as much plumbers love their shrooms. As much as hedgehogs like them golden rings. As much as-"
"Alright. I get it."Blanc sighed. "I was hoping I could get a good start this week. But sure. Whatever. Go ahead."
The trio made their way to Blanc's office. As Neptune seized control of the keyboard, she went ahead and showed whatever stupid thing she could've been laughing about.
"Blanc. Look. At. This." She pulled Blanc by the back at her head and forced her to look at the screen.
"H-hey! Who told you could-... huh?"
'Forbidden Love; Wish of a Goddess' . Blanc recognised the title. It was a fanfiction. HER fanfiction.
"... W-why would you show this to me?" The writer questioned with the biggest blush. "It's j-just a dumb fanfic. T-that's all."
"No no! Read it Blanc. Read it. Loud and clear."
"O-okay. Here goes."
Blanc swallowed the ball of bile that had formed in her throat. "I-it was a c-cold day in Lowee. The strong, yet courageous CPU White Heart was wandering the streets all alone."
A few agonizing minutes Later
"As her love wrapped his arms around her waist, he whispered those sweet words. 'I love you Blanc.' 'I love you too, Black.' Blanc responded."
Even more agonising minutes later
"Blanc carefully unwrapped her gift. It was a snow globe with a picture of the both of them hugging inside of it. It was the best gift she ever got."
One agonising eternity later
"- And the two lived happily ever after. BUT, there was something not right. 'Blanny. I need to tell you something.' Black said. To be continued?"
After reading the entire chapter of her own one-shot fanfic to not one, but two of her friends, Blanc was exhausted.
The entire time, Neptune was simply laughing throughout it all while Nepgear had this feeling of dread and awkwardness.
"This is-, THIS IS SO LAAAME!" Neptune cried in-between her laughs. "How can-, HOW CAN ANYONE POST THIS, BWAAHHAAHAHA!"
It took Blanc all her self-composure to stay calm and not pummel her friend into the ground. There was one redeeming factor after all. Neptune had no idea the person who wrote this was actually reading it to her the entire time.
"Uhm... Blanc? Are you alright? Your face is as red as a tomato."
"I... I'M FINE! T-thanks for asking!" Blanc retorted, obviously annoyed.
"Ehehe... eheh... Oh, goddess. I think I've found my new pudding. This author. Right here. This guy deserves a gold star for giving me a good laugh. What about you Blanny~? On a scale from one to Nep, how bad was it?"
"I-... I think the author did his best... And... that's what... counts." Blanc said, slowly trailing off as she spoke.
For a moment Neptune stopped laughing and looked at Blanc with a confused expression. But then she laughed even harder than before. "HE DID HIS BEST SHE SAID, AHAHA, OH MY SIDES! MY PERFECTLY NEPPED SIDES, BWAAHAHAHA!"
"Neptune..." Nepgear worriedly looked at her sister having probably already broken several records when it comes to laughing. "Uhm... I think we should be going now. I'm really sorry about this. We'll see ourselves out. Come on Neptune. Let's go."
Nepgear did her best to carry her flailing sister out the door. Only when both sister were completely over the horizon and when she couldn't hear Neptune's laughing echo through to the bassilicom (which surprisingly took much longer than the first), Blanc felt comfortable to sit down and let a sigh out of relief.
"... I'm never publishing my stories online again."
Hey there. Glad you made it all the way to the end.
As you've probably noticed, this one-shot is pretty different from my main story (if you've read it [Please don't disregard it because of the self-ridicule]). I've decided to occasionally release a short story like this one just to be a little diverse with my work.
Also big thanks to Symantra for letting me use one of his/her stories for that one gag. Even if Christmas is a few months away, I do recommend you check it out. It's a pretty good story.
Anyway, feel free to let me know what you thought of this one shot and if you'd like me to do this more often.
Until next time.
-Porpol
Oh. And that part about the Sonic fics... It was a joke. Please don't lynch me. Thank you.