Date: 15 Jul 1998 05:57:36 GMT Subject: NEW Levatio II (1/1) by Just Mac TITLE:Levatio II AUTHOR: Katie Taylor WRITTEN: June 28, 1998 EMAIL ADDRESS: DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT:Anywhere, just tell me!
SPOILER WARNING: None.
RATING: PG CONTENT WARNING: MSR CLASSIFICATION:S/R SUMMARY: Continuation of Levatio DISCLAIMER: Fox & Samantha Mulder, Dana Scully, Diana Fowley, and Phoebe Greene all belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX. I don't own them, nor will I ever.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Due to popular demand, I've written a sequel to Levatio. Sorry it's so late!
Thanks as always to my editors: Courtney; Regina Harter; Jeannine; and Serena.
Levatio II byKatie Taylor
I should have told him how I really felt to begin with and none of this would have happened. Scully had come so close to losing him today. All because of a lie.
For the past five years, they had been searching for 'The Truth'. The Truth about Samantha's abduction. The Truth behind her own missing time,
the chip in her neck, the government cover-ups. But the easiest truth to uncover she had kept hidden, even given the perfect opportunity to reveal it.
Mulder had told her how he felt about her-that he loved her. All she had had to say was 'I love you, too'. But she hadn't and he had gone home convinced she didn't care about him-wouldn't miss him-and almost killed himself. That provided her second opportunity. She could have told him when she had arrived at his apartment to find him throwing the gun across the room. Dammit, Mulder! she thought. I'm not ready for this! She loved him,
there was not doubt about that, but she didn't know if she was ready for a change in their relationship. He had told her then that he was too much of a coward to pull the trigger. But she was the coward. She was too scared to take the next step in their relationship. Too scared of him, of his ever expanding presence in her life, and of her own feelings. She wished she didn't have to make this decision now. She was angry at Mulder, then,
and his need to know. Why couldn't he just wait? The answer came easily to Scully. She had lied to him, and deep down, she knew he realized that,
and that was probably what he couldn't handle.
Scully sat at her kitchen table, a forgotten cup of tea in front of her. She had intended to drink the tea, take a hot bath and try to relax, but that hadn't happened. Not that she had really expected it too. She could not forget how much her lie, innocent at the time, had almost cost her. It was as though she had held the gun on him. Again. Had she already dug herself too deep? Could she get herself out of this? Well, she could try.
Fox Mulder sat on his couch. The only noticeable change from the scene of several hours previous was the remote control in his hand, exchanged for the gun. He was basically back to normal.
Earlier, Scully had found some iced tea in his fridge and they had drunk in silence. She had stayed a few minutes longer, and then quietly asked him if he was going to be all right, said goodbye and left.
He still couldn't figure out why he hadn't pulled the trigger. At first he attributed it to simple cowardice. But somehow, now, that reason seemed inadequate. Maybe Scully was right. Maybe deep down he did think Scully cared about him. Now that he thought back to the conversation at her apartment, he remembered that she had said she loved him, just not the way he loved her. She loved him as her best friend. All he had heard at the time was, "No, Mulder, I'm sorry, but I don't-" and tuned the rest out. He had taken it to mean what it meant every other time that he had heard it: 'Have a nice life, don't care if you die'. It didn't matter that Scully was none of the others; that he had only had the courage to tell her because he knew she wouldn't treat him the same way A knock at his door pulled him from his reverie, and with a groan, he rose to answer it.
"Scully"
"Hi, Mulder. Um, can I come in"
"Uh, yeah, sure." He stepped aside and held the door as she walked into the hall, then closed it behind her.
Scully walked to the couch and sat. "I-I need to talk to you." She looked away, collecting her thoughts. Mulder sat beside her. I will do this
she told her herself. I can do this. She turned to him and continued. "Mulder, this is all my fault, I'm sorry. I've made such a terrible mistake." She stopped there, a tear rolling down her cheek and looked away.
"Scully." He took her hand and she turned back to face him. "What are you talking about? What's wrong?" He was getting worried, and her continued silence wasn't helping. Whatever it was she had come to say, it was becoming apparent that she was quickly losing her nerve. "Is this about what happened earlier? What I said to you?" She waited a moment, then gave him a small nod. "Scully, there was"
"I lied to you"
"What? What are you talking about?" Scully took a deep breath.
"Um, the part where I said I loved you, but only as my best friend, I lied about that." Here it comes, he thought.
She continued. "You are my best friend, Mulder, but you're also so much more. I love you as more than my best friend. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. And I have been in love with you for a long time. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before." Mulder couldn't say anything for a long time. He just stared into her eyes, seeing truth and love and a desparate need for forgiveness.
"Why?" She gave him a quizzical look. "Why couldn't you tell me?" She gave him a shy smile.
"You said that you were a coward because you couldn't pull the trigger and end your life. But I was the coward. I was the one who was too afraid of my own feelings. To tell you how I felt until I almost lost you. I don't know what I would do without you, Mulder." She rested her hand on his arm and looked into his eyes. "I love you"
Mulder smiled and slowly leaned forward touching his lips to hers. She pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He didn't think he would have to search too hard for a reason to live any more.
The end.
STILL anxiously awaiting the movie in Europe (
Just Mac