Title: Ghost's Existence
Author: Etsuko O. Daikama/Dying With A Smile

Rating: T
Category: Romance/General
Pairing(s): NxM

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.
Summary: Even if I don't feel like I exist, at least I can be recognized as a ghost. One that treads with dead feet. NxM

Notes: May contain OCCness. Natsume's POV.

"The more you ignore me, the more I feel like a ghost. The idea of you and I being together taunts me but the reality loves to haunt me."

I sat there in my seat, watching her chat idly with her friends like I don't exist. Maybe I don't exist, maybe I never did. I could be a wretched ghost, spectating the human species without their knowing. I don't let such a thing bother me; it never did, so why should it now? It could be the fact that whenever I see her, she just treats me like a ghost. But whenever she comes near me with her exotic scent that I crave every morning and night, she ignores me. At least that's what I used to think she did to me. But now I feel only like a ghost.

No, it wasn't just her that made me feel like a ghost; just the majority of it all. Others from this school make me feel like a ghost, too. I'm amazed that I've never got beaten up by any of the school's stupid jocks. But I should feel happy about that, shouldn't I? I've seen the jocks beat some defenseless kids up and I don't stand up for them. Possibly, I could've gained my existence again if I did that. Maybe I will later on today (maybe I can get someone's attention).

If there was anything I was happy about myself would be my strength. After constant one-to-one training with a freak that I used to call "master," I have gained an undeniably well-built strength. Something to be proud about and something that can stroke one's ego—something I used to have until this girl came and pulverized it. There are times that I completely hate her and want to pulverize her myself but do you know how hard that is? You'd think it'd be easy to simply stick a knife into her body and hear her scream in agony but it's difficult for me.

Why? Because over the years of seeing her pulverize my ego one step at a time (really agonizing and annoying, but I guess "good"), I have come to… lo—I can't even mentally say it. She may have crushed my ego but my pride still lives. There's always something there to stop me from doing anything stupid—which is confessing that I "like" her. What, I can't say lo—yeah, I can't. But she thinks it's romantic when a guy confesses to her, which could be any guy in this entire dump that's been labeled as a school. I have seen many guys fall to their knees and pronounce their feelings to her. It's just as annoying as she flips her hair and they swoon.

And may I add, whenever a guy swoons, it is really creepy. I ought kick them square in the butt and tell them to grow up. There's nothing wrong with a guy liking a girl. What do you think I'm doing? I "like" a girl and it happens to be a girl who doesn't know I exist. But the guy should be the dominant figure in the relationship, not the female. It's always been that way and it should remain the same. And look how far we've gotten. I'm adding this, it's not corrupted, it's just some men weren't raised right and they're pretty lazy to fix it. Nothing else. I don't know what got you thinking that.

Now back to the whole guy swooning over—yeah. If there's any guy in this school that really needs to grow up and stop craving for the girl's body would be Mochu. Every time I think of that guy's name, mocha comes up. His parents were possibly thinking of what to name him and were drinking mocha at the time. …Now I'm seeing what Andou meant for me to socialize more. I hate it when he's right. Continuing from where I left off; that Mochu guy has a locker full of her pictures and whenever he opens his locker, he just sees her. He salivates over her pictures and if possible, he'll melt into a puddle whenever he sees her. Honestly, he needs some help.

I saw her slowly turn her head toward the boy that was calling out her name. "Koizumi-san!" he yelled out breathlessly. He was holding a pink slip in his hands and it could be, from what I'm guessing, a love letter. But why the color pink? Just because it's one of the two colors of like (I'm not going to bother to say it if I can't)? Pink and red? That's one thing I'm slightly happy about; my eyes are the color of red.

"Yes?" came her soft voice that sounded like an angel from heaven—I've got stop hanging around Andou whenever he's lovesick like a young boy who faced hormones for the first time.

"T-This," he stuttered and looked down to the pink envelope like it's going to give him some confidence. Quickly, he bowed his head and shoved the envelope into Koizumi's personal bubble. (Note to self: stay away from Aoi when she does yoga.) "Here," he mumbled and waited for her to take it.

Like it shocked her, she placed a hand on her chest and her mouth gaped open a bit. With the free hand, she took the envelope and smiled politely to the young boy. "Thank you," came the words that made the boy look up. She stared at the envelope and softly ripped it open with her forefinger. She pulled the letter out and read it silently to herself. After an amount of unbearable silence for the young fellow, she started to laugh like he made a joke in there purposefully.

But unfortunately for the fellow, that's how she reacts to a confession. She laughs at them for doing it and gives them a small applause for the effort. If that's the way she reacts, then why does she find it so romantic when a guy confesses his feelings for her? I guess you now see why I don't come near her or even bother to try to write a letter for her. She'll laugh at me like she did with all the other males in this school population.

But still, I admit that I lo—damn, still can't say it.

A/N: I love writing in Natsume's POV. I've done it a couple of times whenever I got bored. I bet you're wondering why I chose Britney-Spears-poser Luna to act for this part. Well, you'll see in the future. I give no spoilers to those that are young.

I got inspired by rainypromise. I just went on her profile and clicked something that led me to her multiply site. It had some parts of fanfictions and I didn't technically read them, I just saw how she put the story parts on her site and thought it looked pretty fancy. So I decided to try out the fancy look and re-adjusted some parts.

To be honest, this wasn't even supposed to be a Gakuen Alice fanfic. Just a random story about a shy guy that's sulking over a girl. So at the beginning I felt like a creepy lesbian (to let you know, I am not. I ought to smack you across your pretty face if you refuse to believe that) and then after a while of deciding to have Natsume play the sulking guy (my bad), I didn't really see myself as that. (-shrugs-)

I want to say something with "happy." So I guess, happy writing everyone! 8D

- Etsuko O. Daikama