Woo! My NEW story! How exciting! So, it's only a 3-shot, just like Uninformed, but I hope you all will like it. I don't have a beta for it becuase I figured it's only 3 chapters so it's no biggie, but if you do see errors let me know and i'll fix it up. Other than that, I now present to you, Striptease!

Chapter 1: Screw girls! Guys just wanna have fun too!

Emmett's POV

I am so bored! All anyone ever does around this place is sit around. Look, there's Esme sitting on the couch reading a gardening magazine. Carlisle, of course, is sitting right next to her reading some book with a gazillion pages. Alice and Bella are on the other side of the couch debating on the pros and cons of a day wedding versus a night wedding. Edward is sitting on the floor between Bella's legs watching TV.

Of course I doubt he was really paying any attention to the news that was on. He seemed more concerned with the way Bella was running her hand through his hair. Man, that kid needs to just stop being so conservative and take Bella upstairs to his room and—

"Emmett," Edward said, a warning in his voice.

No one paid him any mind. He was always warning me about one of my thoughts or another. I continued my observation trail around the room.

Jasper was sitting in the arm chair writing a fricken novel or something. I finally ended my little tour with Rosalie, the love of my life, who was sitting next to me on the love couch. She was painting her nails, which were Firecracker Red today.

I sighed. This whole "perfect family" thing was really starting to get old. Where was all of the excitement? The spontaneity? We needed to go out! Have fun!

Unfortunately I couldn't think of a single thing that a vampire family could do. I mean, there was always bowling…but that's for losers. And besides, with all of the vampire speed and aim, the only one without a perfect score would be Bella.

"Too true," Edward muttered under his breath, a small smile grin on his face.

I smiled at him. So what should we do? I thought. He shrugged absentmindedly, already bored with the conversation.

I rolled my eyes. There had to be something we could do. Ooh! Hunting! Yea that would be—oh right, Bella. Edward smirked and I sighed again.

I couldn't even think of anything remotely fun that we could do. Nothing new ever… wait a minute. There was something new we could do! Not in town, but in Seattle. There was that new—!

"No Emmett," Edward said.

Oh come on! I thought, it'll be bitchin! Edward gave me a skeptical look.

"Did you just say—?"

No, I thought it I defended myself.

"Okay, I give in. What is Emmett up too?" Bella asked.

Ha! Bella is always the first to break.

"Emmett wants the family to go to a strip club in Seattle." And Alice is always the first to ruin the surprise.

"Emmett, honey?" Rosalie asked. "Are you serious?"

"Well," I told her. "Yeah."

She looked up at me form her nail-painting and said, "Wow you're an idiot."

She's such a supporter, huh?

"I am not seeing the big deal here," I told my family. "It's not like we ever do anything fun!"

"So you don't call fighting in a major vampire battle with werewolf allies 'fun?'" I had to admit, Jasper had a point.

I thought for a second before responding, "I meant fun that doesn't put our lives in danger."

"Touché," he said.

"Oh come on you guys! It's gonna be fun!" My family was already returning to whatever they were doing before I interrupted them. Rosalie was now working on her toes.

This is so hopeless.I looked around the room. The seven Cullen's and the Swan were all being boring again. Just call us the boring Cullen plus a Swan family! Gosh! The only time you can ever get a Cullen to do something is if you—oh! Oh! Mwahaha! Now this will get them going!

"Emmett, don't you go there," Alice warned as she looked away from her a Bella's conversation in order to glare at me.

"She's right Emmett. Let it go," Edward agreed. "You know what will happen."

I ignored their crying and stood to face my family.

"Cullens," I began. I heard a small cough from Bella's direction. "And Swan-soon-to-become-a-Cullen," I corrected myself.

"Oh what is it already Emmett?" Man, Rosalie sure could be a party-pooper.

"I, Emmet Cullen, dares all of you to go to the strip club with me tonight." You know, until that moment, I never realized how quiet vampires could get.

The only sound in the room was from Bella's heart beat and breathing. The room seemed to be getting smaller, and smaller. Why you ask? Because if there is one thing you never do, it is dare a Cullen.

"Wow Emmett, you dare us?" Bella joked. "Ooh you really pushed us into it, right Alice?"

Ah, Bella. She was so young and oh so wrong in this case. Alice didn't even look at her. Instead she held her evil glare of evilness at me.

"Hello?" Bella asked, her smile fading away as she waved her hand in front of Alice. "Guys? Oh come on. You all aren't seriously going through with this just because he dared you to, right? Right?" Bella began to look worried as she looked around the room. Everyone was staring directly at me.

I stood my ground, glaring back at my family. Carlisle was the first to regain composure.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? I mean do you really want to go through with this? It's okay to back out now," he said as calmly as he could. I, however, could hear the earnestness behind his words.

I smiled at my adoptive dad. "Oh yes, I definitely want to go through with this."

Carlisle stood up. "Emmett, I'll see you down here in twenty minutes. It seems we have a strip club to go to. Now, if you'll excuse me." I grinned as he ran upstairs.

"Alright Daddy-o!" I yelled after him.

"Emmett," Esme began as she, too, stood up. "I cannot believe you brought things to this level. Especially after the last time. I'll see you soon I suppose." With that she followed Carlisle upstairs.

I looked at the rest of them. They seemed wary…well, except Bella. She seemed scared out of her mind.

"Edward?" She asked him. "Edward are you actually going to do this?" Bella's voice seemed to have awaken Edward from whatever trance he was in.

"Come on Bella, let's get you home." he stood up and looked down at Bella on the couch as he waited for her to get up.

Bella slowly got to her feet. "Edward," she said. "You never answered my question."

Edward hesitated for a minute before saying, "Well, I'll only be there for a short while. Just long enough to where Emmett can't call me a chicken."

"HA!" I cheered.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! If you go to that strip club I am going with you!" she yelled at him sternly.

"Ooh, she told you, bro."

"Shut up, Emmett. Bella, listen, this is not a place for you. I couldn't bare to think of you in a place with so much…dirtiness." He told her.

"He does have a point, Bella. The strip club is pretty bad."

"Shut up, Emmett. Edward, you expect me to just be all happy-go-lucky with the fact that you're going to a strip club without me?" She shot back.

"You know, this entire thing is all about trust. I mean, Bella, are you saying you don't trust Edward not to do anything while off at the strip club? And Edward, are you doubting your trust in Bella's ability to take care of her self again?"

"Emmett! Shut up!!" I got the feeling they wanted me out of this.

"Okay, okay, but…can I just say one more thing?" They gave me a look. "Listen, all I'm saying is that I bet the Cullens plus a Swan soon-to-become-a-Cullen to go to the club. Therefore, Bella is as much as a part of the bet as anyone." Please hold your applause, I already know I'm good!

That statement earned me a gigantorific smile form Bella and a rather, uhh…well, I guess mean look from Edward.

"Ha! See Edward? I am just as much a part of this as you! Unless of course you don't see me as a Cullen?"

Mwahaha! Bella is a genius! Now what Edward? I thought triumphantly. I watched as Edward contemplated his options. There probably weren't very many.

"No, there aren't thanks to you Emmett," Edward rushed out in hushed tones. "Alright Bella, we'll both go to the strip club." Bella smiled and sat back down on the couch, Edward following her lead.

"Fine, so we're going to the strip club. Are we going to change or what, Alice?" Rosalie asked.

Alice jumped up.

"Oh, yes! Bella, I already have the perfect outfit for you. And yes Rosalie, I have shoes to go with your outfit." Leave it to Alice to already have a plan.

"Alice," Bella groaned, "I don't see why I have to get all dressed up to go to the strip club. It's not like I'm trying to impress anybody there." By the time she was done saying her name Alice had already had her up the stairs.

"So Jasper, you in man?" I asked him excitedly.

"Yes, I guess I have too. I mean," he looked up at me from his writing. "It's not like I can have you earning eternal bragging rights."

"Touché," I agreed.

Twenty minutes later the whole family was down stairs and ready to go. Rosalie seemed to be the only one talking to me…well Rosalie and Bella.

"So Emmett, what's the name of this club anyway?" Bella asked.

"The Teasers! They strip and dip as you tip!" I told her proudly.

"Can we please just get this over with?" Edward said.

I swear, he could be so impatient at times.

"Sure," I said. "Everyone got cash right?"

"Cash? For what?" Esme, in all her sweetness, asked.

"Well darling," Carlisle began, throwing us dirty looks as we all began to snicker. "You see the, err, workers, have to be, um, paid for their, erm, duties."

"Oh my! You mean we're going to actually watch the stripping?"

I couldn't help it. I cracked up at the look on Esme's face. Priceless!

"Let's just go shall we?" Carlisle suggested.

We all trudged out, Bella and I still laughing.

"So how many cars are we taking?" Rosalie asked.

"Hmm," I said, thinking. "Well we should definitely show up in style--"

"Let's take one," Alice said.

"Aw but Alice--!"

"Hey, you want to bet against me?" She asked.

I sighed. "No, okay Alice. Navigator it is."

And that was it. We all piled into the car.

"I didn't even know you guys had a Navigator," Bella mused as Carlisle pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Seattle.

"Yeah, we never use it because Rosalie could only get the maximum speed to 175 mph," Edward told her.

"Oh right, because that is so slow," she muttered to herself.

Carlisle and Esme were in the front. Me, Rosalie, and Jasper took up the middle row, and Alice, Bella, and Edward took up the rear. Just perfect. I mean, now this was more like it! No more sitting at home being bored! My family and I were going out to have some kick-shit fun!

"Did you honestly just say the word 'kick-shit?'" Edward asked.

"No, I thought it. There's a difference," I stated.

Bella busted into laughter. I smiled to myself as I watched Esme and Carlisle share a worried glace at each other. I didn't need Alice to tell me. I knew, for a fact, that we were going to have a great time.

Did you like it? Hopefully you did but even if you didn't if you would be so kind as to review, that would be AWESOME!