Carl was standing in a line at the local gag gift shop on Christmas Eve, holding a gift to himself: a decent looking porn magazine. He had a grimy look on his face and wasn't exactly in the cheeriest mood.
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line,
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two,
not really in the Christmas mood
Carl took his eyes off the bodacious naked girl in his magazine and looked down in front of him to see Meatwad, who was happily and anxiously bouncing around, waiting for his turn. He was holding a pair of googly eyed specs.
Standing right in front of me,
was a little boy waiting anxiously Pacing 'round like little boys do And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
Carl studied Meatwad's appearance. He was a bit smelly, dirt, old gum, and rotted food was all over him. He looked a bit like a bum. Soon, it was Meatwad's turn to pay and Carl couldn't believe the words that Meatwad spoke.
His clothes were worn and old,
he was dirty from head to toe And when it came his time to pay I couldn't believe what I heard him say
"Hey sir, I need to buy these specs for my friend Frylock. They're just his size, ya'll!" The guy at the register proceeded to ring up the specs.
"Hurry man! My other friend Shake says there's not much time! See, Frylock's had cancer for a long time and he's sick as a lil puppy. Those specs'll make him smile! He's gonna look wonderful when he meets Jesus."
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time You see she's been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
When the cashier had rang up the specs and showed a total, Meatwad pulled out a bunch of pennies and put them on the counter. Carl just sighed. "This is gonna take for-freakin'-ever." The cashier counted the pennies, and, after about a zillion years it seemed, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, little guy, there's not enough here." Meatwad's smile went in the opposite direction as he searched inside his meaty body.
"Ah, man," he said, with puppy dog eyes. Then he looked at Carl. "Frylock always made sure we had a good Christmas, even though we've always been poor. Carl, what am I gonna do? I gotta get them specs for him!"
He counted pennies for what seemed like years Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically Then he turned and he looked at me He said Mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes
"Alright, Meatman. I know what you're leaning towards." Carl said. He just had to help him out. He put some of his money on the table, to where he'd have just enough to buy the specs. Then, Meatwad got the cutest, biggest smile on his face, in which Carl saw and would never forget. "Yay! Frylock's gonna look so great! Thank you so much Carl! Merry Christmas!" He said, hugging Carl's leg.
"No prob, Meatman, same to you. Now hurry home, before Christmas comes." With that, Meatwad ran out the door with the specs, still smiling excitedly.
So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out I'll never forget the look on his face when he said Mama's gonna look so great
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time You see she's been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love As he thanked me and ran out I knew that God had sent that little boy To remind me just what Christmas is all about
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time You see she's been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight