21

by ohsosirius

For each one of them, being 21 meant a different thing. A little drabble on some thoughts that may -or may not- have been on their heads at the time.

21 and being dragged into a war that begun with prejudice for everything they were. 21 and being heroes in that war, being the ones fighting while others, better prepared than them, hid. 21 and full of life but with so little time to live it. 21 and coming home at 3 am, not covered in booze but in blood. 21 but sometimes feeling so old and tired.

For James, being 21 meant two years without parents who had loved him deeply and died by the hands of those he was now fighting. It also meant living in an apartment that was originally his, until Lily moved in, and then Sirius and then Remus. Because some days he was out all night and Lily was out all day and it was like living alone, so their friends came over when they could, and one day they realized they were almost living there, so they moved in.

For Lily, being 21 meant three years out of school, where she had found another home and another family. The only family she had had for the past two years, after her parents died in a car accident. It meant having found a week ago that she was pregnant and having so many mixed feelings about it. A little boy or girl who they were going to love so much but would grow up surrounded by fear and hiding and fighting and running.

For Sirius, 21 meant he was free to fight for those he loved and against those who should have loved him. 21 and trying to be reckless, buying a motorcycle which he had promised to use to hook up and instead using it to go where he knew he could not apparate because of the many wards Death Eaters put around their places.

For Remus, 21 meant using his condition to find out everything he could about the one man –monster- who had made him what he was and who was now trying to recruit more like him. 21 and happy to have found people worth fighting for, something that many years ago he had thought impossible. It still amazed him that someone would give his life for him, sometimes he woke up alone in his –their- apartment and it took him a while to remember that he had those brilliant friends who were out there fighting.

For Severus, 21 meant every day of his life regretting his choice. He could have gone to Dumbledore and asked for protection instead of joining the Death Eaters. He could have refused and died or fight. It meant knowing he had left his fears decide for him. He would, in a matter of days or months, learn that the one person he had loved, had died. For Severus Snape, 21 meant hating even more the man who had promised to protect her.

For Peter, 21 meant the worst decision of his life. It meant four dead friends, even if two of them were alive.