Alright so I've been MIA for like a year now, and I know I should probably be working on "Till summer comes around" but i'm stuck, and I found half of this sitting on my computer that I started writing like forever ago and decided to finish it, hopefully it'll help me get back into the swing of things so I can get on with my other story. The song in this is "shameless" by Garth Brooks, I normally don't like country but my boyfriend played it at open mike a couple weeks ago and it actually sounds really good acoustic and the words seemed to fit Naomi so I went with it. Also when reading this assume the Naomi/Sophia thing never happened(that storyline still irritates me lol). Anyways enjoy, hopefully its not complete crap, remember that I haven't written in ages! Till next time :)
Shameless
They were all sitting around a table at Keiths pub, Naomi was nursing her pint, watching as the bubbles floated from the bottom to the top of the glass, ignoring the loud leers coming from Cook at the next table over full of girls. Effy was sitting on Freddie's lap looking disinterested, Katie kept adjusting her cleavage apparently not getting the male attention she felt she deserved. Pandora and Thomas were at the bar getting more drinks , and Emily , her Emily was gazing at her across the table, she actually had been for the last half hour to the point where Naomi was starting to feel a bit self conscious.
"Seriously Em, do I have something on my face?" Naomi said with a crooked grin, finally breaking Emily out of her trance.
"No," Emily laughed, grabbing Naomi's hand," Just enjoying the view," She added with a wink.
"Rightfully so," Naomi grinned," I'm just gonna pop to the loo,"
"I'll come with you," Emily replied, getting up with Naomi and linked their hands again as they walked towards the bathroom.
Emily stood at the mirror fixing her hair as she waited for Naomi in the bathroom, after a couple of minutes Naomi re emerged and began washing her hands, catching Emily's eyes in the mirror as Emily wrapped her arms around Naomi's waist from behind, resting her chin on her girlfriends shoulder.
"Just two more days until our first valentines day together, are you excited?" Emily murmured into Naomi's neck, pressing her lips softly against it when she was finished.
"Valentines day?" Naomi's eyes widened slightly, a panic starting to bubble its way up in her stomach.
"Yes," Emily said as Naomi turned in her arms, "And remember, you can never go wrong with a single long stemmed rose."
Emily leaned up, pressing her lips against Naomi's softly, smiling against her lips before they parted.
"Actually Em, I don't celebrate valentines day," Naomi said hesitantly, pushing her luck by leaning down into Emily, trying to draw her into another kiss which Emily dodged quickly.
"What do you mean?" Emily said," you're joking right?"
"No," Naomi answered seriously," I never have, it's a stupid holiday made up by chocolate and candy companies to make money."
Emily backed up a step, just enough to be out of Naomi's reach.
"How can you say that?" a look of shock crossing her face," It's not about money, its about love and showing the person you love how much they mean to you."
"I just don't like any holiday that tells me how i'm supposed to feel," Naomi countered.
"So you don't love me?" Emily challenged, her hands coming to rest on her hips.
"I never said that," Naomi pointed out," It's just a day Emily, not everyone likes valentines day."
"I bet I can show you people who like valentines day," Emily said determinately, taking Naomi by the hand and dragging her back out into the pub.
The couple came to a stop in front of Cook who was sitting at a table with three girls Naomi had never seen.
"Cook please tell Naomi how great valentines day is," Emily pushed.
Cook fixed them with his characteristic grin and then looked at the three girls around him.
"In all honestly Em, a day when any loser can land a shag with some flowers and cheap chocolate sounds like shit to me," Cook laughed," I prefer a bit of a challenge."
Cook winked at the girl to the right of him, wriggling his eyebrows. Naomi looked far too smug for Emily's liking so she pulled her back towards the table where Katie and Effy were still sitting.
"Okay will you guys please tell Naomi that Vale…" Emily tried.
She was cut off when Katie reached her hand out and shushed her before she could get the word out. Naomi continued smirking at the confused look on her girlfriends face.
"Do not say that word in front of us," Katie ranted," That day is not happening this year."
"Katie what are you talking about, you love val…" Emily tried, cutting herself off before she said the word again when Katie and Effy's hands went up to shush her again.
"And you Effy! Wouldn't this be the perfect day to tell Frieddie how you actually feel about him?" Emily asked, looking over her shoulder to the bar where Freddie was looking at Effy with the usual sad puppy look her wore around the brunette.
"I just don't celebrate it," Effy shrugged," Its just another day of the year, nothing special."
"You guys are all crazy," Emily raised her hands in defeat, plopping herself down into a chair at the table.
"Babe," Naomi tried to suppress her grin." We just don't like valentines day, its no big deal."
"Did someone just say Valentines day?" Pandora's excited voice came from behind them.
"Not you guys too!" Emily groaned," Doesn't any one in this place care about romance."
"We love valentines day don't we Thommo?" Pandora exclaimed, pressing a kiss to Thomas's cheek.
"So glad to spend this year with you Panda," Thomas agreed.
Emily smiled at the couple and then turned her attention back to Naomi, kinking her eyebrow challengingly.
"And then there's Panda and Thomas," Naomi relented.
"Finally some people with hearts," Emily said," So what do you guys have planned?"
"Thommo told me it's a surprise," Pandora beamed.
"Well at least someone will be enjoying themselves this valentines day," Emily said, glaring playfully at her girlfriend.
It wasn't till later when Emily was at home sitting on her bed and re reading "Pride and Prejudice" for the 10th time that she realized how much Naomi blowing off valentines day really bothered her. She knew it was silly but the day meant a lot to her, she spent the last four years watching Katie get waited on hand and foot by whichever guy she was dating at the time. Four years of sitting at home covering for her sister while secretly pining over Naomi. And now it finally all came together, she had Naomi and they were in love and she just wanted to celebrate that with her girlfriend. And she knew it was completely irrational considering all the things Naomi had done in the past year to prove her feelings but Emily couldn't help but feel like Naomi didn't love her as much as she thought.
"Seriously Ems what's your fucking problem?" Katie said, emerging into the room towel drying her wet hair.
"My girlfriend doesn't want to spend valentines day with me," Emily groaned, plopping back onto the bed and covering her head with a pillow.
"Oh my God Emily," Katie exclaimed," Its just a fucking day, why are you making such big deal out of it? You've got a girl who loves you, why isn't that enough?"
Emily shook her head, the truth was she couldn't explain it herself, all she knew was that it really did bother her and she couldn't just turn it off.
"I just don't get why she can't just do this one thing for me, I get that she isn't overly mushy by nature but I just figured she might make an effort for something that she knows is important to me?" Emily ranted, not noticing the flabbergasted look that was taking over Katie's face.
"Emily you're being ridiculous, you've been reading too many of those bull shit romance novels," Katie placed her hands on her hips," I can't believe I'm about to say this, and if you tell anyone I did i'll fucking kill you, but seriously Naomi's been really great to you since you officially got together. She takes all the abuse and leering from guys at college for you, she sat through dinner with mum, who sat there insulting her the entire time because you asked her too. When's the last time she picked what you guys did on a date? She does everything for you Emily, what more do you want from the girl? A fucking kidney?
Emily's face turned an uncomfortable shade of red as she listened to Katie's rant, she was embarrassed with the way she was acting because Katie was completely right. Naomi had done a complete 180 since they had gotten together, she had been damn near perfect actually, so given that Emily felt quite silly about doubting Naomi's feelings for her.
"I know," Emily finally relented." I get it, I'm being stupid."
"Good, now I don't have to look at your fucking sour puss face for the rest of the night," Katie said.
"And by the way Katie, you were sounding dangerously close to liking Naomi," Emily teased, an amused smile creeping its way to her face.
"Please," Katie dismissed her," She's still a flaming bitch with the fashion sense of a carnival clown but anyone can see that the girl loves you and she treats you will so thats enough for me."
"That means a lot to me Katie," Emily said honestly.
"Whatever bitch," Katie laughed," And seriously don't mention it…to anyone, it would make Campbell way to smug."
Emily laughed to her self, opening her book and finally being albe to get past the first sentence.
The next day when Emily arrived at college she immediately sought out Naomi, it felt weird that she hadn't seen or spoken to her girlfriend the night before. Emily spent most of her nights curled up in Naomi's bed with her , and the nights that her parents insisted she come home they always talked before bed, at the very least they always exchanged the "good night, love you" text message; But last night there was nothing. Emily assumed Naomi handn't called because she wasn't sure if Emily was still irritated with her anti valentines day beliefs and Emily didn't call because despite herself she was a little mad that Naomi didn't call her. But she had woken up this morning feeling cold and lonely, wishing she had given in and called Naomi.
When Emily found her she was sitting on the back bleachers, reading the Anthony Keidas biography, a fag hanging gracefully between her fingers, biting her lip in concentration at what have been a great part of the book. It took her by surprise sometimes how naturally beautiful her girlfriend was, she really did take Emily's breath away.
"Hey stranger," Emily said once she got into ear shot of Naomi.
Naomi looked up with a shy smile, closed her book and waited for Emily to take a seat next to her.
"Hey," Naomi replied," Sorry I didn't call last night, I just wasn't sure if we were still in a bit of a tiff or not," Naomi explained, adding an after thought," Are we still in a tiff?"
"No," Emily relented," Now come here, its been far to long since i've kissed you."
Naomi couldn't help the grin that took over her features as she leaned in, pressing her lips to Emily's softly at first, then bringing her hand up to the back of Emily's neck as she deepened it. It wasn't until they were interrupted by cat calls and whistles from a group of boys close by that Naomi realized how out of hand the kiss had gotten. Emily's hand had worked its way under the back of Naomi's shirt and Naomi had tousled Emily's hair as she raked her hands through it.
"Wow," Emily said through a laugh," This is why we shouldn't go a night without any contact, it gets dangerous."
"Well remember that next time you get mad at me for a stupid reason," Naomi joked.
Emily didn't know why but Naomi making light of everything sparked up a little irritation in her again.
"It wasn't a stupid reason Naomi," Emily said, dodging Naomi this time when she leaned in to kiss her.
"Emily you're working yourself all up over a fake holiday created to drive desperate women into depression filled chocolate binges and to get men laid," Naomi ranted.
Emily backed away further from Naomi, her eyes narrowing at her girlfriend as she felt herself getting lost in her anger again.
"So now you're calling me desperate?" Emily said," News flash Naomi, some people actually enjoy spending a romantic night with the person they love!"
"Emily you know that's not the problem," Naomi's smile had now completely dropped when she realized Emily wasn't taking any of this as a joke," You know I love you and i'd do anything to make you happy."
"But?" Emily pushed," There's always a but with you Naomi, so why don't you just say it."
Naomi groaned, running her hand through her hair in frustration, she knew she was digging herself into a large hole but short of giving in and going against everything she believed in she didn't see a way out.
"But…" Naomi started, trying to word it correctly," Why would I do what you want when it goes against what I believe?"
The moment it left her lips Naomi know it was the wrong thing to say, Emily's face had scrunched up in irritation as she stood up angrily.
"Oh well I don't know maybe because you love me? Or maybe because you actually care that something happens to be really important to me," Emily ranted," Whatever Naomi do what you want, you always do anyways."
And with that Emily stormed off leaving Naomi sitting open mouthed on the bleachers. She had no idea how a stupid argument about valentines day had turned into Emily actually doubting her feelings.
Naomi spent the rest of the morning sulking in classes and attempting to catch Emily's eye, who had stuck like glue to Katie and avoided her since the fight. It wasn't till lunch that Naomi finally saw a chance to speak to her, they were both heading to the table with trays of food when Naomi cut Emily off and stood in her way.
"Do we really need to have this fight?" Naomi attempted to raise the white flag.
"Depends," Emily humoured her," February 14th is?"
"Just another day," Naomi stated, continuing quickly when she heard Emily scoff," That is really important to you?"
"Nice try," Emily said as she cut around Naomi and took a seat at the table in between JJ and her sister, Naomi followed a moment later sitting across the table, plopping into the seat with a frustrated sigh.
"So tomorrow night, Uncle Keith's pub?" Cook bellowed from across the room, strutting over and sitting next to Naomi.
"We aren't celebrating valentines day remember," Katie glared at him.
"Babes I share your sentiment," Cook said," Thats why I got Keith to have an anti valentines day night, it'll be mint! Loads of vulnerable girls ripe for the picking!"
Katie rolled her eyes at Cook's reasoning and then looked at Effy thoughtfully before nodding.
"I'm in," she agreed.
"Me too," Effy perked up." Any excuse to get fucked up and take the piss on love."
Naomi could literally feel Emily's eyes boring into her, just daring her to agree to attend something so clearly against her wishes, so Naomi for once kept quiet.
"I don't understand you guys," JJ piped up finally," If I wasn't so socially awkward and could get a date I would totally make valentines day plans."
"Really?" Emily said, looking at Naomi challengingly," Well seeing as my calendar seems to be empty for tomorrow night how about you take me out Jay?"
Naomi almost choked on her fry, Katie, Cook and Effy all looked at Naomi for a reaction while JJ looked as though he was about to get supremely locked on.
"Im not so sure thats a go-o-o-od idea Em," JJ struggled to get out.
"Non sense," Emily waved her hand in the air," Naomi wouldn't mind would you Naoms? Seeing as you don't plan on doing anything with me tomorrow anyways?"
Naomi looked back at her completely dumbfounded and before she could get her brain to formulate any words Emily had continued talking.
"See, its no problem, pick me up at 8," Emily decided flashing JJ a smile, before getting up from the table and heading out of the cafeteria.
"Nice one Naomikins," Cook chuckled.
"Fuck off," Naomi glared at him, pushing back her tray and taking Emily's lead to leaving the room.
She was majorly pissed now, Emily had taken things too far. The thought of JJ taking her girlfriend out on a date made bile rise up in Naomi's throat, but she decided that she wasn't going to give in. Emily wasn't allowed to play on her jealousy and insecurities about JJ whenever she wanted something, it wasn't right. So Naomi didn't try to talk to Emily the rest of the day at college and she didn't call her that night either, If Emily wanted to play games fine, but she wasn't going to rise to the bait.
"Why hasn't she called," Emily groaned, checking her phone for the millionth time since she woke up.
"Hmmm maybe because you made a valentines day date with a guy that you past pity fucked right in front of her?" Katie said sarcastically.
"I just figured she would have said something," Emily admitted," I wanted her to fight for me you know?"
Katie sighed and abandoned her task of rifling through her closet for something to wear to Keith's later that night and sat next to Emily on her bed.
"Well you really fucked it up this year," Katie said," I'm sure you guys will do better next year."
Emily smiled despite herself at the thought of still being with Naomi next valentines day.
"You think we'll still be together next year?" Emily asked, desperately needing reassurance.
"Of course you twat, this is just your first fight, it'll be over before you know it," Katie laughed," Now lets get you ready, JJ will be here soon."
Emily sighed and relented, making her way to the bathroom to shower all the while thinking about what Katie had said. She hadn't realized it because it felt like they fought constantly when Naomi was running from her but this really as their first fight as an official couple. She suddenly felt slightly better about the whole situation, every couple fights and seeing as this was their first fight they hadn't had their first make up either.
Naomi had spent the night before and the day brooding in her room, her heart told her to call Emily but her pride made her hesitate. It wasn't till she got a text from Effy explaining the JJ and Emily had shown up at Keith's that Naomi decided to get up. There was no harm in stopping by and making sure nothing was happening between JJ and Emily on their "date" right?
She knew it was a bad idea the minute she walked in the back door of Keith's, knowing that Emily was on a date and seeing her on it were two different things. But there she was, looking fucking stunning and Naomi felt the green eyed monster about to claw its way out of her, she turned to leave before she did anything she would regret when Katie and Effy cornered her.
"Where do you think you're going?" Katie exclaimed.
"Home," Naomi replied grumpily.
"You aren't allowed to be jealous." Effy pointed out," you brought this on yourself with the whole anti valentines day protest."
Naomi threw her hands up in defeat, maybe she had made to big of a deal out of it but she did seem to remember the two girls in front of her had agreed about how useless this holiday was.
"Kind of hypocritical coming from you two," Naomi pointed out.
"We aren't celebrating because we don't have someone we love in our lives twat," Katie shook her head angrily," You have someone you love and you blew it off and let her go out with someone else? What the fuck happened to you Campbell? I thought you had more fight in you than this, now go make some grand romantic gesture and fix this shit because quite frankly you're both pissing me off!"
"You're not having fun," JJ pointed out as he watched Emily swirl her beer for the 10th time.
"Its not that Jay," Emily said, feeling bad for being so distracted.
"You just wish you were with Naomi," He voiced what she had been thinking all night since her picked her up," Its okay Em, I know you guys are like in love of whatever, I won't be mad if you want to leave and go see her."
Emily was considering JJ's offer when she heard the voice of the current occupant of her thoughts amplified from the small makeshift stage. Emily snapped her head towards the sound of Naomi's voice so quickly she was sure she had given herself whiplash. There she was, beautiful Naomi, sitting on a bar stool and holding a guitar. And now Emily was really confused because not only was Naomi here out of nowhere but she had no idea Naomi could play.
"Hi everyone," Naomi said somewhat awkwardly, this had seemed like a good idea at the time but now as she sat there in front of all these people and more importantly Emily she felt a bit sick," I know most of you know its valentines day, and me being the huge tit that I am told my girlfriend that I didn't want to do anything and now she's on a date with someone else, so I figured this was the best way to talk to her."
Naomi gulped audibly, taking a deep breath and steadying herself.
"Emily i'm sorry and I love you," Naomi made intense eye contact with Emily from across the room before continuing," And I wrote this for you."
Emily could hear her heart racing as Naomi started to play the first notes of the song, her arm strumming gracefully making Emily fall in love with her all over again.
I'm shameless
when it comes to loving you
I'll do anything you want me to
i'll do anything at all
And I'm standing
here for all the world to see
Oh baby thats what's left of me
I don't have very far to fall
You know that i'm not a girl
Who's ever been
Insecure about the world I've been living in
I don't break easy, I have my pride
But if you need to be satisfied
I'm shameless
Oh honey I don't have a prayer
Every time I see you standing there
I go down upon my knees
And I'm changing
I swore i'd never compromise
Oh but you convinced me otherwise
I'll do anything you please
You see in all my life
i've never found
What I couldn't resist
What I couldn't turn down
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
But I can't walk away from you
I have never let anything have this much control over me
I worked to hard to call my life my own
And I've made myself a world and its worked so perfectly
But it's your world now I can't refuse
I've never had so much to lose
Oh I'm shameless
You know it should be easy for a girl who's strong
To say she's sorry or admit when she's wrong
I've never lost anything I've ever missed
But i've never been in love like this
Its out of my hands i'm shameless
I don't have a problem now
I don't want it anyhow
So I gotta let it go
I'm shameless
Shameless as a girl can be
You could make a total fool of me
I just wanted you to know
I'm shameless
Emily held her breath nearly the entire time Naomi was playing, she couldn't describe the feeling that had washed over her, she felt her eyes pricking at the corners with unshed tears despite her best efforts. She didn't know what to focus on, the fact that Naomi had one of the prettiest voices she had ever heard in her life, that she had written a song about her, more than that,a song about how despite Naomi's nature she was completely at Emily's mercy, or the fact that Naomi had played it in front of everyone, laid herself bare in public to give Emily the valentines day she had always dreamed of.
Naomi felt ridiculous the minute she strummed the last chord and looked into the wide eyes of the majority of her form who had never seen her sing or show so much emotion publicly for that matter. She couldn't even bring herself to look at Emily, her face flushing in embarrassment as she quickly retreated off the stage to the back of Keith's again, only feeling safe again when she was out of sight to the majority of the pub.
"Shit Campbell, When I said romantic gesture I meant like go give her a fucking flower of something," Katie laughed," Who knew you had that up your sleeve."
"Urgh I feel so stupid," Naomi groaned, smacking her right palm against her forehead and cursing at herself for making such a fool out of herself," Well seeing as I've already made myself look like a complete tosser I think i'm going to call it a night, when you see Emily tell her to call me if she wants okay?"
"Really you're not going to stick around to see Emily's reaction to that?" Katie narrowed her eyes slightly," You kind of just laid it all out there for her."
Naomi shook her head and turned back towards the door set on going home and dying of embarrassment when she heard a familiar voice calling her name.
"Naomi," Emily shouted, forcing her way through the crowd lining up to get drinks," Naoms, wait."
Naomi turned back around, not quite able to make eye contact when Emily finally reached her, she felt oddly vulnerable now that Emily knew everything, though she was pretty certain Emily had always known how she felt, things felt different now.
"I can't believe you just did that," Emily said, still slightly in shock herself," Hey, look at me," Emily added when Naomi kept her eyes downcast.
When Naomi looked up at her and Emily saw the vulnerability swimming in her girlfriends eyes she realized that the gesture wasn't just in the fact that it was very public but that Naomi no longer had any walls to hide behind, she was finally trusting Emily with her heart completely and despite everything she was probably still terrified of that fact.
"I love you," Emily said seriously," Fuck I love you so much Naomi."
Naomi let out a shaky breath and nodded, a small hesitant smile starting to grace her features.
"Thank you," Emily continued," You just made this the best valentines day ever."
"It was the least I could do for being such a dick the past couple days," Naomi said sheepishly
"I think I was a pretty big twat as well," Emily reminded her," I'm fairly certain I didn't deserve any of that."
Emily flushed slightly thinking of her immature behaviour the previous day, playing on Naomi's jealousy over JJ to get a reaction out of her, it all seemed ridiculous and petty in hindsight.
"You do deserve it Emily, you deserve all that and so much more," Naomi cupped Emily's face," Happy valentines day."
Emily flashed her a wide smile before allowing herself to be pulled into most amazing, wonderful, fireworks going off in the background kiss she had ever experienced in her life. They parted at the sound of Katie clapping her hands behind them, Naomi pressed her forehead against Emily's before turning to glare at her girlfriends twin.
"About fucking time," Katie joked," Go ahead Em, I'll cover for you with mum and dad."
"Thanks Katie," Emily smiled as she took Naomi's hand dragging her out the back exit and into the alley behind the pub.
"Where to now then?" Naomi asked," Any other dream plans for our first valentines day together?"
"Back to your place," Emily tugged Naomi in the direction of her house," I want to show you how much I loved the song alllllll night," Emily smiled cheekily at her girlfriend.
"I fucking love valentines day," Naomi laughed following her girlfriend back out into the street.
"I thought you might come around," Emily let go of Naomi's hand and wrapped her arm around her waist, cuddling into Naomi's side when she reciprocated by wrapping her arm around Emily's should," What other talents have you been hiding from me this whole time?"
Naomi just shook her head and pressed a quick kiss to Emily's forehead. She still might not have believed in all the fake imagery surrounding February 14th, but no matter what day it was Naomi knew she would do just about anything to make Emily smile the way she was right now, and for that fact alone everything had been worth it in the end