Cammie and I sit on the floor in the library studying for finals next week. She has laid her head down in an open book and closed her eyes. I think she fell asleep. I smile and run my fingers through her dark blonde hair. I think about how she agreed to run away with me after finals. I know she thinks about going without me sometimes. I can see it in her eyes.
I'm scared she will. It's silly that I would be scared of something like that. I went to a school for assassins. My mother is a terrorist. Not much scares me. But she scares me.
I know she thinks I'm cryptic and distant and full of secrets. Well she's right. She isn't one of the best spies I know for nothing. But I don't think she knows why I'm that way. She doesn't really know who I really am under the half cover I wear all the time. It's not pretty and I've never invited someone to see under it. I think of how she lets her guard down to me. Maybe it's time I stop with the cryptic-ness and secrets and let my guard down around her. If she knew that me, would she leave or would she stay with me?
When I'm with her sometimes I can forget that my mother is part of an evil terrorist organization. I feel like I'm on the good side when I'm with her. Reformed. I guess that's what I am. I remember growing up at Blackthorne, knowing I was going to join the Circle when I was old enough. Because that's what my mom did. But then I met Joe Solomon. He taught me that the Circle was evil. I guess I didn't fully believe him though, until I met her. I saw how much she cares about her mom and her friends and how much she missed her dad. Her dad. That my mother killed. And she wanted to kill her too. That's when I fully decided the Circle was evil. That my mom was evil. And I was switching sides. And my mother was not going to kill a second member of the Morgan family.
I wonder what she would think of me. The real me, completely uncovered. Could she love me?
I know she knows about my lack of family. I think she chooses to ignore that Solomon and her are really all I have though. And now he's in a coma. He could wake up, but things don't usually work out for the best with me. I wouldn't bet on it.
So really all I have is her. That's why I'm so scared of her running away. I know she would do it. And that scares me even more. She can't leave me though. She has to stay with me. She can't run away and leave me here alone. She has to stay with me.
She moans and looks up at me. She starts to get up, to go to her room and sleep in her bed, but I pull her into my arms. She puts her arms around my neck and I get up off the floor. She puts her legs around me and I carry her up to her room.
"Promise me you will stay with me," I whispered against her.
She pulled back and looked at me for a second, squinting. Then she realized what I was talking about. But I guess I couldn't blame her. She was half asleep and tired and stressed. I could see it in her eyes. Well, I could when she had them fully open.
"I promise," she told me.
Then she gave me a quick kiss on the lips and slid down from my arms.
"Goodnight Gallagher Girl," I told her as she reaches for the doorknob and stepped into her room.
"Goodnight Zach," she whispered quietly.
Then lights were out in her room so I guess her roommates were already asleep. Well, it was pretty late.
As I walked back to the library to get our books I decided I would let my guard down with her this summer. Will she love me? When she sees that?
A/N: I know, I know, I should be working on Summer, but I simply could not get this song out of my head! Someone on tumblr said this would be a really great song for Zach and Cammie and I was like: OMG its perfect! But I don't like songfics very much.. so this is kind of different and weird. At first I was going to do it from Cammie's POV because a girl sings it butttt Cammie doesn't really have a dark side. And come on guys it says "Don't run away" like a million times.. it had to be told from Zach's POV! I so don't mean for him to be so insecure! I'm sorry if its OOC but, I just can't stop picturing Zach all hurt and sad that Cammie left him all alone and realize that in my story she hasn't left him.. Please review and tell me what you think! XOXO33