Starcatcher: Hey everyone! This is a rewrite of my previously made parody of the stupid, pointless, badly written, betrayal fic. Have fun, but be warned, this is NOT like other betrayal parodies.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, SM, or any animes involved in this fic. I also do not own the whole betrayal idea, thank goodness, due to its lack of originalty and plot.
NOTANOTHERBETRAYALFICNOTANOTHERBETRAYALFICNOTANOTHERBETRAYALFIC
It startd out lik normal batrayal fics do. The girls and Tuxido Mask were fighting a big scary thingie at the park and call Serena. On her way there, she fights another big scary thingie and it hurts her side bad before she can make it go away with all the purty lites. Igoring the pain, she run to park and beats the other big scary thingie with the purty lites. Mad at her being late, the scouts tell her to come to the Temple place tomaro0. She does.
"SERENA! You were late, and the rest of us were hurt!" Dareen shouted.
'But guys! There was another big scary thingie and-- Srena tried to explain but was cut off by Ray.
"JUST SHUT UP! We've had it with your excuses!"
"You fail in everything u do! It's hard to beleive that YOU of would be the future queen!" Amy agrees.
"You never fight! Thanks to u, we always got hurt!" Lita adds.
"We're sick of always having to protect u!" Mina put in.
"And Derien's with MEH! Not u! How could u thunk he would ever luv u whan he has meh?" Raye smirked.
"Your not worthy to be our Queen or Princess. Raye will make a better ruler!" Says the other blue-haired lady.
"We want you out of the scouts. Hand over your communicator, brooch, and wand!" Demanded Amara.
Suddenly, in a strange moment of clarity and use of proper spelling and grammar for the narrator, Serena held up a hand to silence them, and smiled as though she had not just been insulted and betrayed by her best friends and loved ones. "Would you all excuse me for just a moment?"
The other girls stared in confusion as Serena left the room, then returned a few seconds later with a ladder, which she set up against the wall. She pulled out her wand and concentrated on it, turning it into a titanium baseball bat, though how she's able to is unknown to the narrator, who should be in on things like this! How else is the story going to be explained properly?
...Ahem ANYWAY, with that done, she then climbed up the ladder and disappeared from view through a hole in the ceiling that no one had noticed before, as it had apparently not existed until it was just mentioned five seconds ago.
"Hey!" An unknown voice cried out. "What are you doing? You're not supposed to know I'm up here!!"
"DIEEE!!"
It sounded like there was a scuffle. After a minute, a girlish scream along with manaical laughter could be heard, then silence for a few seconds before Serena came back down the ladder, looking as though nothing had happened. She then took her seat.
"Stupid author." Serena muttered darkly under her breath.
So, Bob, the evil and completely stupid author with horrible spelling and grammer who has no idea of how to even write a fanfic, was now dead. The scouts blinked a few times, as though they had just woken up.
"Uh...what were we saying?" Lita asked, confused.
"We were talking about the youma fight last night." Serena answered.
"By the way...where were you meatball head? We really could have used your help!" Raye demanded, though not as harshly as before.
"Sorry guys," Serena apologized. "I was attacked by another youma on the way."
Amy gasped. "Are you all right?"
"Oh, it's nothing serious." Serena told them, sending a glance at her side, noting that the blood and bandages mysteriously disappeared.
Lita's eyes narrowed. "Those bastards! Figures they'd try something sneaky like that."
Haruka smiled. "At least you managed to defeat it without too much trouble."
Michiru nodded. "And no one was hurt too badly. We'll just need to be more cautious in the future in case something like this happens again."
"In the meantime, though..." Redirecting the conversation back to the topic they all needed to discuss, Mina cleared her throat. "Now, Serena, I hate to do this, but I want to bring up an important subject. There's someone who has been useless in battle, a hinderance, if I may say, and brings nothing but trouble!"
The other scouts nodded in agreement.
Serena sent a glare at the ceiling. "And who might that be?"
Amy sighed, resigned. "We know you may be upset about this, considering the future and all, but..."
"WE JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" Mina cried.
"The wailing..."
"The demands..."
"The bossiness..."
"The selfishness..."
"The annoyance..."
"The helplessness..."
"The two-faced act..."
"The arrogance..."
"The vanity..."
Raye, Amy, Mina, Lita, Haruka, Michiru, Luna, Artemis, and even Diana all added their complaints, making Serena a bit worried. "So...?"
They all glanced at each other, sighed, then turned to Serena and exclaimed as one, "We want Rini out!"
Serena blinked. "Oh, is that all?"
Raye stared, shocked. "Is that all? We thought you'd be mad..."
"Are you kidding?" Serena laughed. "I wanted the brat out from the start!"
The others heaved a sigh of relief before Mina spoke up. "Well...we thought you had grown attached to her..."
"Yeah...like I REALLY want a bed-wetting, selfish, rude, annoying thing like THAT for a daughter! AS IF!" Serena scoffed.
At that, everyone started to laugh, only for Rini to burst in.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Cried the little parasi--I mean...child. "HOW COULD YOU BE LIKE THIS!! I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS!! I'M YOUR PRINCESS!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME! THIS IS TREASON!!"
"Actually," Lita broke in. "You're not our princess, and we're just supposed to protect the earth."
"All you do is sit off to the sidelines." Raye sneered.
"Or get in the way of the battle, nearly getting yourself killed so we have to save you." Mina added.
"Which needlessly causes us to get hurt." Amy finished.
"Plus, that little 'Sugar Heart Attack' of yours is really kinda lame..." Haruka pointed out.
"And for a while there you didn't even have that. You just rang some stupid little bell and let Serena fire the final blow." Michiru stated.
"FINE!" Rini shouted. "I'll go to another dimension and get stronger, then come back and KICK YOUR ASSES!! Come Hotaru!"
Hotaru blinked, confused. "Why would I go?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, REMEMBER!?"
"Do I have to?" She asked, looking to the others.
"Go ahead. It'll be fun." Setsuna told her, smiling.
Hotaru sighed, still just a little annoyed. "Fine..."
"SETSUNA! Take us to another dimension!" Rini ordered.
"Okay!" The Guardian of Time replied and bonked Rini on the head with her Time Staff, transporting both Rini and Hotaru to another dimension. "At least THAT'S over..."
"Now that the spore's gone, what do you guys want to do?" Mina asked.
"Why don't we go to another dimension and have some fun?" Raye suggested.
"YEAH!" All the others exclaimed in agreement.
"BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEEE!?" Cried Darien, who is still not particuarly liked by the author and is therefore ignored by the girls as they disappeared for another dimension for no real reason other than the author feeling like sending them to one (that will have no bearing on the story whatsoever) WITHOUT the pointless betrayals or deaths.
Meanwhile, Rini and Hotaru landed in the DBZ world...Rini, from 1000 feet above ground.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--" SPLAT!! "OOOOW!!"
"So she survived...that'll put a damper on things." Hotaru frowned.
Just then, young Gohan appeared and noticed the two girls. "Hey, I noticed something falling from the sky. Did it land here?"
Rini, upon seeing Gohan, had hearts appear in her eyes. "WOW! You must be my soulmate!"
Blink, blink. "Huh?"
Ignoring everyone around her, Rini continued to daydream. "We'll fall in love, then go back to the other dimension and destroy those mean scouts for kicking me out of the group, and then I'll rule the world and then the universe cuz I'm destined to be the legendary 'Cute perfect innocent can-do-no-wrong being of super kick ass powers' who's stronger than all the other scouts combined--including Cosmos and Chaos, even though I was completely useless in just about every fight! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!"
Gohan stared at her in confusion for a couple of seconds before turning to Hotaru. "What's with her?"
Hotaru shruged, waving it off. "She's always like this..."
"I'm Gohan, by the way." He introduced himself, smiling at Hotaru.
Hotaru returned the smile. "My name is Hotaru."
"And I'M Rini! NOTICE ME!!"
But Hotaru and Gohan walked away, ignoring Rini.
Feeling sorry for the girls, ChiChi allowed them to live at their house, though she soon regretted allowing Rini to stay. Rini kept trying to seduce Gohan--even after he got together with Hotaru, showed off her non-working and completely pathetic powers in front of the other Z Fighters in an attempt to look important, and went around acting like she was the most powerful being in the universe, but then ran away every time that was put to the test in a manner that would put Hercule to shame. She only served to completely piss off everyone until...
"Oh watch me everyone! I'm gonna use my pretty 'n pink wand!" With that, she used that stupid wand that never works and lo and behold...it STILL didn't work. "Oops! Tee hee hee!"
Vegita, who by this time was looking a bit crazed from extended close proximity to the spore, had finally had enough. "I...can't...TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" And with that, he blasted Rini to bits.
And so Rini died.
Vegita smirked.
"YAY!" Everyone cheered, glad to finally be rid of the brat.
But then she came back to life.
"WHAT!?"
With evil demonic powers, for, as it turned out, Rini was actually the child of Stan.
"Huh?"
"Don't you mean Satan?" Krillin asked.
No, I said Stan.
Everyone frowned and looked at one another in confusion at that, but shrugged.
"Who's Stan?" Asked Goku.
He's actually Satan's evil twin cousin's mother's husband's sister's father's aunt's daughter's uncle's wife's brother's son's best friend's former roomate, and therefore was much, much worse!
Everyone screamed in horror.
Rini began to laugh evilly. WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--(Gasp for air)--HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
"Oh, that laugh is SO lame." Yamcha commented, rolling his eyes.
"THE THING MUST DIE!!" Shouted Vegita.
So everyone tried their strongest attacks to destroy her, but before they could, she started to sing!
HORRIBLY.
"Rain or shine! I'm happiest! When I'm with Tuxedo Mask!" Came the ear-splitting voice.
Everyone covered their ears to try and block out the horrible singing, though it didn't work. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOOOOOOP!!" Goku pleaded.
"MY EARS! THEY BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!" Piccolo shouted, clutching his ears in agony.
Fortunately, from wherever they were, the scouts arrived to help stop Rini.
"What?" Raye asked. "You mean she's STILL alive?"
"You haven't killed off the spore yet?" Lita asked the narrator.
"..."
...
"..."
...
"..."
...Oh, right. I'm the narrator. Um...well...coughcoughnonotexactlycoughcough...
"That's right! I AM ALIVE! AND I WILL RULE ALL!!" Rini shouted, using her demonic powers along with a now completely pink and corrupted Silver Crystal to take all the scouts' powers for herself. That's right, the crystal's not black, it's PINK. Because pink is actually the color of evil.
"NOOO! Now we're powerless to stop her!" Amy cried.
"Is this the end?" Mina whimpered.
"The sea is roaring!" Michiru stated.
"The winds are out of control!" Haruka added.
Setsuna gasped. "The future is in chaos! We're doomed!"
Mina blinked. "But she just took away all our powers. How can you possibly tell?"
"Hey, who's the all-knowing Guardian of Time here?" Said all-knowing Guardian of Time wryly demanded.
"Point." Mina backed off.
Hotaru, being the kind one, tried to offer some mercy. "I could always destroy the Earth..."
"DO IT!" Everyone exclaimed.
"ANYTHING'S better than having to listen to that thing!" Goku told her.
Gohan, however, didn't want to give up so easily. "No! Don't do it! There has to be another way!"
"FOOLS! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME!!" Rini shrieked, laughing evilly.
"Isn't there anything anyone can do to defeat her?" Hotaru asked the narrator...oh wait. That's me.
...Uh...
...Um...
...I dunno...
Everyone face faulted.
"That's just great...the whole fic's kinda pointless if she can't be killed!" Shouted Serena. But since she mentioned being in a fanfic, that's breaking the fourth wall, which means...
FOURTH WALL VIOLATION!
Suddenly, a crack in space appeared and someone came tumbling out of it.
"OhgodWHY?!" Cried the person as he fell through and hit the ground before the crack abruptly disappeared. Coughing a bit, he got to his feet and looked around in confusion. "What the hell was that? Where am I? What's going on? Why am I here?"
"In order: That was a crack in the Fourth Wall caused by a Fourth Wall Violation. You're on the Earth of an alternate dimension where people can fly and things called Dragon Balls exist that are capable of granting wishes. You've just been dropped in the middle of a battle between we gathered heroes from two worlds and an evil pink monstrosity. And as for why you're here...I honestly don't know. Seems like a mix between the random effects of breaking the Fourth Wall and author's perogative." Ami explained.
"Author's perogative? You're saying this kid's been sent to help us?" Haruka demanded.
Said 'kid' blinked.
Ami shrugged. "I guess."
"We're doomed!" Krillin cried.
"Well, at the very least he'd probably make a good meat shield." Vegita commented.
"HEY!" The 'kid' shouted, indignantly.
"So who are you?" Lita asked.
"Oh, I'm Daisu--I mean, Davis Motomiya. I'm from the Earth that's connected to another world that exists inside computers where strange creatures called Digimon live. And I was just minding my own business when that...thing...opened up and sucked me in!"
"Wow...that must have been terrible." Mina winced.
"Not really. I was about to be casted as the 'stupid, jealous, traitor/bad guy' who is the ultimate evil and yet at the same time is apparently extremely stupid for no real reason other then to be bashed in a really bad fanfiction."
"I know that feeling." Raye sympathized.
"Back to the matter at hand, can you give us a hand?" Setsuna asked.
"Well, you guys did get me out of a pretty sucky deal and I've apparently been brought here to help, but what's the matter?"
"We're having trouble getting rid of Rini." Hotaru explained.
A bit surprised at that, Davis looked over at the gloating Rini for a moment before turning back to the others, eyebrow raised. "Is that all? I thought it'd be something...well...y'know, serious."
"And having an unbeatable evil little brat trying to take over the universe isn't SERIOUS enough for YOU!?" Vegita demanded.
Blink, blink. "Who said she was unbeatable?"
"HUH!?" Came the collective cry.
At that, Davis handed Serena a piece of paper. "Here. Read this. I was holding on to it when I was brought here."
Looking at the paper, she grinned. "FINALLY!" She looked up at her evil hellspawn of a so-called child. "All right you little spore! I have found...er...been given the key to destroy you!"
Rini gasped. "WHAT!? It can't be!"
Serena nodded. "That's right! It's a review of Sailor Moon S, which compares your acting ability to that of a comatose llama! BEGONE O SPAWN OF PINK!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rini wailed. "I am no match for the combined forces of my critics, Anti-Rini fans, and those who know anything about llamas! Once again I am foiled by the Fourth Wall! CURSES!"
And so she died yet again.
"YAY!!"
There was a brief pause as everyone waited for something to happen. When nothing did, they all frowned in confusion.
"What's with the Fourth Wall?" Michiru asked.
"Oh, yeah. There was a voice mentioning something about new regulations. We're only allowed to break the Fourth Wall once in a one-shot fic." Davis explained.
Everyone blinked twice, then shrugged it off, figuring it best to just accept it. "Okay..."
But just then, Rini returned again!
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?"
Just kidding!
Everyone glared at the narrator.
...
Oh wait. That's me again...
EEP! RUN AWAY!!
With that, they all chased the Narrator.
EPILOGUE...
Hotaru and Gohan got together and after they grew older, eventually married...aww. They live happily together with their daughter, Pan, who was kidnapped by Videl shortly after her birth until Hotaru became the new Sailor Chaos in her rage. Videl was never seen again and the three lived happily ever after.
Just for the heck of it, the other scouts went to the...uh...um...Yugioh world, where Amy and Seto, Mina and Yugi, Serena and Bakura, Raye and Marik, Lita and Shadi, Haruka and Michiru, and Setsuna and Dartz all got together just because I felt like making it that way. Hah hah hah.
The Z Fighters lived happily after the whole incident too, except for Piccolo, who went deaf from Rini's singing, and Vegita, who got bored and actually began wishing that Rini would come back so he could kill her again.
Luna, Artemis, and Diana left for another dimension. They took over the Earth there and cats ruled the world with humans as their slaves. It all went pretty well until they were all butchered by a dog...a dog DEMON to be precise, who turned out to be Inuyasha's great great great great...well, you get the idea...grandfather. Only Diana survived and ended up becoming the cat demon known as Kirara...or Kilala...or whatever the thing's name is.
Davis never did manage to make it back to his world. While he was upset about not getting to go home, it still kept him out of the evil clutches of the Takari fanatics and Davis haters of the fandom, and he was able to live out his life in relative peace. At least that was the case until he got bored and decided to get some form of payback on the fans that caused him pain, and formed a Mary Sue Exterminator Team, dedicated to hunting down and eradicating the evil known as Mary Sues.
Alone and abandoned by everyone, Darien joined a boy band. The group was actually Hanson, and they quickly got tired of him and kicked him out. Overcome by sorrow, Darien went to an unlicensed doctor to buy poison to end it all. Unfortunately, he ended up accidentally having a sex change operation instead. After that, his hair turned blonde. He changed his name and became a celebrity. Who is he now? Paris Hilton.
And Buu came and turned everyone into candy and destroyed the world. Boo hoo. Such a sad ending for a story that's supposed to be funny.
END