No Matter What Chapter 1: Main One Shot, a love letter from thief x fanfic

No Matter What

One Shot

Sarashina Hiro

"Sometimes I just wished you would just grow up for once, Hiro!"

I took in a deep breath as my eyes narrowed sternly over at the younger male. Hiro only stared at me with his eyes wide open, completely stunned by the words I never meant to say. Even though I was the one to say them, those words actually pained me very much. I actually couldn't imagine how hurt Hiro must have been to hear those horrible words come from me. But even though I knew it was the one of the most hurtful and thoughtless things I could say to him, I didn't have the sense or humility to apologize. Instead, I turned away and stomped out of the door, swinging it shut behind me in order to separate us.

Just like any other day, Hiro was being, well…Hiro, the horribly dorky, but charming flirt. That's my husband for you. How the situation came to be was not because he made me jealous or something or other petty. In fact, I don't think he can ever make me jealous. I think. It's just that he's been fawning all over me and it's driving me nuts!

It was all sweet and cute when we first got married, but now that I'm pregnant… I couldn't help but feel extremely annoyed by him. Yes, I am pregnant. It's been some months since we've been married and I'm currently in my third trimester.

Lot's of women, Ranko and especially Seiko, would say that I should feel lucky to be spoiled and diligently taken care of by Hiro, but honestly, sometimes it's nice to be able to take care of myself for once, you know?

"Oh my god! My back is aching! Urghh!" I winced and twisted side to side as I lay sprawled on the bed, trying to untwist the knot in my back. I gave out some ugly cries and moaning, just trying to realign my spine.

And just like the faithful husband he was, he came running into the bedroom. "Sorry, Xen!" he called, rushing towards me. "I'll massage your back for you!" What you're probably imagining is a happy, cheery couple, sitting on the bed, a smiling wife being massaged by a happy, smiling husband. That's definitely not what was happening right at the moment. While my husband sat behind me on the bed, massaging my back with his strong hands, I hunched over with a pained expression on my face, using my hands to prop myself up.

"Oh, that feels so gooood~!" I moaned.

I could hear a soft chuckle from behind me before my husband decided to lean over and smoothly ask, "You know what else feels good?" His fingers slowly started to walk up my back.

"Hiro!" I criticized, not in the mood. "Just massage my back! That's all I want right now! All I want is to get that stupid knot out of my back!"

"Okay…"

"Thank you!"

"Ugh…" I twisted around at the doorway, trying to find a way to put on my shoes, by myself, without bursting my bubble. I leaned against a wall and tried to do the whole lifting the foot behind me thing. I even sat down on the step and stretched my leg out to the side. I also tried dropping the shoe onto the ground and trying to slip it on, but for some reason I just couldn't get my foot to slip in. Every time I tried, the shoe would just slip away or turn away or fall sideways and I'd be stuck at the door, exasperated. "Oh, for the love of God! Hiro!"

"Sorry!" The sound of quick steps came closer and Hiro finally showed up at the doorway. "Don't worry, I'll put your shoes on for you. Looks like you forgot to put your socks on. Bloop!" I watched as Hiro pulled my socks over my feet and slipped on my shoes for me. "All set and ready to go!" he cheered, grabbing my hands to pull me up onto my feet.

"'Mr. Turtle'," Hiro began in a child-like voice, "'How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?'" He held a stuffed turtle, wearing glasses in his hand before responding in an old frail main's voice, "'I never made it without biting… Ask Mr. Owl.'" Hiro then hid the stuffed turtle behind his back and pulled out a stuffed owl, with glasses instead, asking in a child's voice once more. "Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?" He then turned to me, smirking. "Let's find out," he stated as he turned to whisper into my ears with his warm breath.

My reaction was not what he was expecting. "Get off, Hiro." I used my elbow to shove him away as I looked at the two sets nursing blankets in my hands. Do I want the ones with the circus animals? Or do I want the ones with the yellow ducklings? Or can I have both?

Today was sort of like a date for us, even if our real date would be tomorrow. Right now, Hiro and I were shopping for baby necessities. While I was looking at bottles, nursing blankets, bedding, and other necessary items, Hiro was playing around with the toys.

"Maybe we should just stick to the circus animal theme. What do you think, Hiro?" I turned around to look at Hiro, expecting an answer only to see him with a whole bunch of toys and dolls in his arms.

"We should do the Princess theme because Daddy's Princess deserves to live in a Princess' room." He smiled happily, putting girly baby items into the cart. I frowned at him. It was very sweet that Hiro wanted a girl, but the honest truth is that we actually don't know if the baby was going to be a girl or a boy. I personally wouldn't care what gender the baby was, mostly because I really wanted it to be a surprise. Hiro picked up a cute little dress with a hat from the rack. "Daddy's Princess would look fantabulous in this. Definitely." He smiled proudly at himself as he carted the dress and hat.

I stared at all the items he was putting in the cart, thinking about how he didn't even look at the price tag, feeling the cost stack up. I knew Hiro was very well off…but I personally couldn't shake it. "Hiro…"

"Yes, Xen?" I frowned even more at the innocent smile my husband gave me, feeling a little sorry, but also feeling the weight of the cost.

"We're only here to buy the necessities." I grabbed a lot of the things he put into the cart and put them back away. "I don't want our baby to become spoiled. And even if it was a girl, she wouldn't be old enough to wear this yet." As I continued looking around and making decisions, I never noticed the exasperated sigh and disappointed frown on his face.

Along the way home for a break, we kept taking breaks in between. He wanted to feed the baby this cake from this shop, this candy from this shop, this crepe from this crepe shop, this food from this restaurant. And then at random times, he would find a bench and pull me over to it, just to sit for about five minutes before we were on our way again. I guess that it was nice he was worrying about me… My feet did ache a little… But what I really wanted to do was get home as soon as possible so that I can really rest before the Lamaze class.

"Oh! Ice cream! Let's get some for the baby!" Hiro cheered happily, about to run off towards the little ice cream cart before I stopped him, holding onto this sleeve.

A sigh escaped my lips as I pulled him towards home. "Hiro, all I want to do is go home right now. If you keep giving me all these sweets, what we'll really be giving the baby is diabetes."

Really, I want to be happy that he's very happy about the baby, but I just wasn't. It just really started to annoy me about how sweet and kind he was no matter what I did. No matter how many times I nagged at him, and depended on him, and make trouble for him, he never once got upset with me! As we continued to walk home, I couldn't help but feel that horrible feeling bubble up inside me, threatening to erupt like a volcano. Who the heck does he think I am? A child?

"We're home," we called out in unison as I took what few things I had into the baby's room. Hiro followed after me, carrying the rest of the things we bought, the majority of it. Inside our little nursery, we already had a crib, a dresser/diaper changing station, and a stockpile of diapers and baby wipes. I started unwrapping the nursing blankets and the androgynous clothing before folding them up and putting them away in the dresser. Right now, the baby didn't need fancy cupcake dresses if it was a girl or stud muffin ties and bow ties if it was a boy, so we bought a lot of onsies and beanies.

Falling in love with Hiro was a surprise, finding out I was pregnant was one as well. I wanted the baby's gender to be a surprise too, but Hiro seemed to be all set and ready for a girl. What if…the baby wasn't a girl? Hiro would be so disappointed.

"Guess who's here to see Baby?!"

I turned around to look at Hiro only to scream in fright. I gasped and held a hand to my chest, closing my legs. "Hiro!" I frowned at him and raised a hand to smack him on his shoulder since he was completely suited in that ridiculous bear costume from his closet. "You gave me a fright! What would you do if it affected the baby!" I was so upset; my heart was still pumping quickly. I couldn't believe he would sneak up on me like this. I couldn't think of anything to do except for hitting him repeatedly, taking out all my annoyance and irritation at him on him the best I could. "Horrible!"

All he did was laugh, trying to block himself from my attacks with his arms. "Hahaha! I'm so sorry, Xen! I promise I won't do it again! Ahh! Stop!" If I wasn't so afraid of hurting him and stressing myself out, he would be all battered up by now.

I frowned at him, huffing as I fixed my hair back in place. "Serves you right, Hiro! Surprising me like that."

"Hey, all I wanted to do was surprise you and loosen you up a little." He smiled, pulling off the bear head. "'Cause, you know. Tomorrow's Valentine's Day and we're supposed to be all lovey-dovey. I saved today all for Baby, but it looks like Mommy needs some lovin' too."

"Hiro, I'm tired. I just want to go to the Lamaze class and come back home and relax." I sighed once more, for who knows how many times today already, and left the nursery to check my bag in order to ensure I had everything prepared for the class today. Right now I was just so achy and crampy and I just wanted to eat certain food but every time I have it in my hands, I want something different instead. I just want to get a back and foot massage right now. I just want to go to sleep! I just want to rest and take it easy, but for some reason, it feels like Hiro's just continuously pestering me with…well…being him.

"Hey," he began as he followed me around the home. "Won't you turn that frown upside down for me?" I only stared at him and cringed at that old expression. He started laughing in order to lighten up the mood but slowed down, noticing it was only making it more awkward. "Come on, Xen, don't be like that."

I opened the fridge in the kitchen and pulled out little packs of cheese and unwrapped them. "That's easy for you to say, you're not the one walking around with a baby rearranging your organs."

"Haha, I guess that's true." He sighed sadly and plopped onto the love seat in the living room. "It's just, I feel so far from you right now. You're always tired and upset."

"Well, maybe I wouldn't be so upset if you would just let me take care of myself more." I shrugged, taking a bite into one of the little round cheese.

He sat up and quirked a brow at me. "Excuse me?"

I poured myself a cup of water and shrugged again. "Maybe sometimes I just want to be left alone…by you." I was trying to find a nice way to say I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to hear him, I didn't want to be anywhere around him. Just seeing him really made me angry for no particular reason.

It was an awkward silence between us for a moment, but he smiled at me cheerfully, half jokingly saying, "You don't really mean that."

My heart felt like it was being squashed tightly by two hands. No, I really meant it. I really hated how every time I was upset or I messed something up or I needed him, he would always be smiling and acting like it was nothing. My teeth clenched and my fists closed tightly as my eyes narrowed at him, seeing the smile fade off his face.

"Okay, what did I do this time?" He shifted his eyes away from me, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Nothing," I stated simply, slightly shrugging as I continued.

"Okay, obviously there's a problem. Just let me know what I'm doing wrong."

"Nothing," I shrugged, trying to convince him nothing was wrong. Really, the problem wasn't him. The problem was me, I was annoyed with him. That was the problem.

"Just tell me what's wrong, if you don't tell me, I'm never going to know."

"Well, maybe that's the point!" I argued. "Maybe I just don't want you to know."

He frowned a little at me, pursing his lips to the side. "That doesn't make any sense. Is the problem me? Am I the problem? Is there something you're trying to keep from me?"

"Yes!" I answered, frowning at him. "Is that what you want to hear? That the problem is you? That maybe I'm just so tired of being around you? That maybe I'm just so tired of you catering to my every beck and call? Sometimes I just want to be left alone by you."

"But I…" His brows knitted as he stood up, making his way to the other side of the counter.

I frowned at him. "I don't know, Hiro! I just don't like how you're always, constantly, pampering me! You're always, 'here, let me do this for you!' 'Oh! I got this!' 'Just relax, and wait. I'll do it for you!' Sometimes I just want to be able to do stuff for myself! You're always following after me, do this and that for me! Maybe I just need you to lay off me for a while, a long while!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to take care of you because you're my wife."

"Well, stop taking care of me then!" I don't know where I was going with this, in fact, I'm not even sure how I blew this up on him, but I needed to stop before I went further. You know those heat filled moments where you are completely out of your mind and you begin to spout nonsense. This was one of those moments. I needed to…I needed to leave.

With a deep breath, I moved away from the kitchen and grabbed my bag from the other end of the counter. "Where are you going?" he asked as he followed me to the doorway.

"To the Lamaze class," I answered calmly, trying to slip on my shoes. After a few tries of getting nowhere, I gave up and went for the sandals, slipping them on instead.

"Hold up! Let me grab my things first."

"I'm going alone."

"Why?"

"Because I just want to have some time away from you for a while." Maybe that's all I needed, a small break from Hiro.

"But, Xen," he frowned sadly. "I want to be with you."

"Damnit, Hiro!" I exclaimed in frustration. "Sometimes I wished you would just grow up for once, Hiro!"

"I'm home…" I called, entering dark household. Because it was so quiet inside, when I flipped the switch on for lights, it echoed quietly. "Hiro…?" I walked inside, looking around for my husband. He wasn't in the living room, the bathroom, or the bedroom. He was nowhere to be found inside the house.

Where could he be?

I pulled out my phone and looked through my contacts before placing my phone against my ear, listening to it ring until the boss picked up. "Hello? Xen?" The boss sounded pretty cheerful over on his end, the restaurant sounded lively as well. "Did you need something?"

"If that's Xen, just hang up the phone!" Was that Hiro?

"I just wanted to see if Hiro was with you is all."

"Just hang up!"

"Uhh, yeah! He's here. If you're worried, it'll be alright. I'll take care of him. I've got to run, Xen, please take care of yourself as well, okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay, buh-bai!"

I sighed a little, hanging up the phone after him before noticing a note on the counter.

'I'm sorry if I was being overbearing, so I'll give you the space you need tonight. I'm still looking forward to spending Valentine's Day with you tomorrow, so please rest until then. I'll meet you there at seven.

-Hiro'

I frowned slightly, feeling my brows wrinkle up a little sadly as I softly cried by myself.

Why is it that Hiro treats me so well?

I thought about hearing those words he said on the other end of the phone. 'Just hang up!' I don't think I ever felt more hurt by Hiro then at that moment when I heard those words from his lips.

That night, I went to bed on the eve of Valentine's Day, feeling sad and guilty. Feeling like I didn't deserve to have Hiro at all. I'm a horrible wife, aren't I? I don't know how I could ever make it up to Hiro because I already know that no matter how upset or fed up I get with him, I will always love him, no matter what.

Soft and slow jazz played in the air as I entered the restaurant he had made a reservation for. We were having dinner in a fancy restaurant inside of a fancy hotel. Tres Spades, was it? There he was, dressed as handsomely as ever. He said nothing as he approached me and held an arm out to me to hold onto, which I politely accepted. I didn't even notice all the celebrities and people who looked like they were very famous. The only person I seemed to have seen was Hiro. When we checked in, we were immediately taken over to our table where menus were handed to us and wine was offered.

"We'll have water, please," Hiro smiled kindly at the waiter. "My wife and I are pregnant." I stared over at Hiro and we made eye contact. Just to reassure him, I gave him a small smile before looking at the menu. The restaurant was bustling with couples and excited chatter, which made me feel bad because here we were, on Valentine's Day, quiet as ever. Not a word was spoken between us even after the waiter took our orders and left with the menus.

I couldn't think of a thing to say, especially because I did still feel guilty about what I said yesterday. I couldn't even look at Hiro while we ate quietly. Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple and this is how it ends up. Quiet and bitter like the way I was. And besides the guilt, the truth was that I actually really missed him. Meeting him here was the first time I saw him since yesterday. I probably only missed him because I got upset with him yesterday or because he told the boss to hang up on me. But, nonetheless, I still really missed him.

I'm wondering if he missed me as well…

"Would you like to dance?"

I stared over at him in surprise as he smiled kindly at me. We had already finished our quiet dinner and were just sitting together in silence until he broke it up with a question.

"Unless you're not up for it, of course. I seem to keep forgetting how it tiring it must be to carry around a baby in your womb all the time. I'm sorry, haha," he laughed awkwardly.

"I…" I stared at him sadly. "I'd love to dance with you, Hiro."

He stared at me, surprised before looking away and blushing, coughing into his fist as he got up. "Well, okay." He quickly went around to pull out my chair for me and offered me a hand in which I took, leading me to the dance floor where all the other happy couples were dancing happily.

Even dancing with him was quiet, but there was a small comfort in being close to him. I missed this comfort last night when he was not home. I missed this comfort when I had to sleep in our bed alone. I almost want to…lean my head against him…and I did, surprising him.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been lately, must have been suffocating, huh?" Hiro smiled as we danced along to the soft music.

I frowned, hiding my face in his chest. "Yeah, actually it was." He chuckled quietly beneath his breath as we swayed together. "I'm sorry for being a moody bitch."

"That's alright, I actually thought it was the pregnancy talking." It was…and the fact that I hated myself for constantly relying on him. "You look very beautiful tonight." He planted a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"Really?" I asked, frowning at the compliment. "You don't think I look fat with my tummy sticking out like this?"

He laughed heartily at me before shaking his head. "I think you look very cute pregnant! If I didn't know it was going to be a pain, I'd like to impregnate you all the time!"

I stared up at him in shock with a very deep blush spreading across my face, eyes had looked over our way from his statement. "H-Hiro!"

"Whoops!" He sheepishly shrugged while shutting on eye and biting his tongue playfully. "But if anything, you are just as cute and beautiful as ever."

If my face could get any redder, it probably would. "Why are you always so good to me?" It was unbelievable. "Don't you ever want to want to be angry at me?"

He laughed at me before shaking his head 'no'. "I just want to be good to you," he replied gently, running the back of his hand against my cheek. "I want to treasure you and I want to cherish you because you're the one that I love, Xen."

I frowned at him before shaking my head. "But that's not fair! And that's not right! Our life is never going to be all happy and cheery all the time! And I hate you! I hate you because you're too good to be true and I'm just a spoiled brat who whines and cries all the time and—"

I was silenced by his lips. His large hands cupped my face and I stared at him with my teary eyes. I could feel just how much he loved me from the kiss he gave me as we stopped dancing on the dance floor. The love I felt from him felt so overwhelming I wanted to burst into tears. Will he ever get fed up with me?

I took a shaky breath, in and out. I hated the way it felt for our lips to part. The way they seem to stick together as if not wanting to be separated either. I don't want him to leave me ever again…

I looked up at him with my eyes welling up with tears, making him laugh at me. "Hey! Don't cry! Hahaha! You are sooo cute!" He began using his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

"It's the pregnancy's doing…" I stated as I immediately looked down to hide my face.

"I'll be honest, I do get upset at you at times. Hey, look at me." He pulled my face up to look at him, laughing at my red face. "I get so tired and annoyed of you that it drives me crazy sometimes! But you always make me crazy. I also know that no matter how tired I am of you, or how annoyed I am of you, I'm always willing to love you with all my heart, no matter what. You're mine, Xen. And this is mine too! Boop!" He poked my tummy where Baby was. "I always want to treasure and cherish you, because as much as you think you're not doing much for me, you're already doing so much for me. I love you, Xen."

I bit my lip at him, my eyes cringing with tears as I pounded on his shoulder with my fist. "It's the hormones talking now…"

He laughed allowed with me, holding onto my hand as he turned. "Then shall we retreat to the room I booked?"

With a hand covering the lower half of my face, I nodded, unable to speak any more. With all the people in the world, I don't know why I never really realized it until now, but yes, I am perhaps the luckiest woman in the world.

I am in love with a man who says he will love me no matter what.