Loving Dead
(I own nothing except Kate.)
SOPHIA STAY HERE WE WILL COME EVERY DAY
I turned in a slow circle, looking for any movement among the abandoned cars. There wasn't any. No Sophia to come and claim the food on the car's hood, near the crudely scrawled message. I grabbed a jar of peanut butter and perched on the hood of the car. It had been two days since I had eaten last. I scooped the peanut butter with my fingers and contemplated the message.
Were these people still alive to return to this car? Was Sophia? I hadn't been around live people in weeks. Well, not uninfected live ones. Did I want to be here when and if they returned to this car? I suddenly felt guilty; I had eaten half the jar of Sophia's peanut butter. I replaced the cap and set it back down next to the rest of the food. Half was better than none.
I wiped my hands on my camo cargo pants and got off the car. There was no way I'd be able to drive past all these abandoned cars. I sighed and took my beret off. Should I wait for Sophia or the people with the abundance of food? Or go back the way I came? I shook my head and my French braid swung against my back. I knew I could survive by myself. Other people might be more dangerous. There had been a road maybe a mile back, the country may be easier to travel through. I replaced my beret and walked back through the cars, the way that I came.
Fairburn Road
I turned my military jeep onto the deserted road, not bothering to signal. There would have been less traffic on this route and fewer people who could be infected. But the rural country also offered fewer places to raid for necessities. I glanced in the back of the jeep at all my medical supplies. If bandages were edible, I'd have it made. Unfortunately I had too much of a conscious to take the food for Sophia. In addition to medical supplies I had jugs of distilled water and plenty of guns but very little ammo and no food.
Greene
A mailbox up ahead alerted me to the Greene residence. I turned onto the driveway, again not signaling. Perhaps the Greenes had a pantry I could raid that didn't have a note about the food being for someone else. Or more clothes. Perhaps the Greenes were NRA members when they were uninfected and had ammunition I could use in any of my various calibered weapons.
I stopped my jeep in front of a gate to the rest of the driveway. I smiled as I opened the gate, maybe this had even kept infected people off the property. I drove my jeep inside the gate and closed it again. Or maybe it had kept the infected Greens in. I took the safety off my pistol and took a deep breath. I just had to stay alert and expect the unexpected.
After driving for a bit some fields came into view. A horse was running inside a fence. I took the sight of another living creature as a good omen. As I drove I could make out a house, a barn and a camper, with tents set up near a large tree. My brow furrowed. Why were there tents right next to a large house? Something didn't feel right. Movement on top of the camper made me slam the jeep into park, holster my pistol and grab one of the assault rifles. I jumped out of the passenger side and took cover behind the jeep.
People were milling about around the tents. Live people, snatching up baseball bats and guns and various weapons. A man with binoculars on top of the camper yelled something to the people on the ground and they slowly started approaching me. A man in a baseball cap led the pack. To his right was a man in a button down shirt with a large pistol. To the left was a black man with a baseball bat and an Asian kid with an ornate machete.
"We don't mean ya' any harm," The man in the baseball cap yelled. I sighted him with my rifle, unsure of how to respond.
"Lower your gun and we can have a calm discussion," This was from the man with the pistol.
"Lower your gun and maybe I'll think about it," I yelled back. The man in front smirked. He held up his empty hands and kept walking closer to me while the others stopped where they were, weapons still raised and at the ready.
"With all due respect, you are infringing on our camp." Baseball cap said, setting foot onto the driveway.
"It wasn't intentional; I was just looking for some food. I'm not used to seeing people." I took a step back from my jeep, keeping distance between me and the man. He nodded.
"Are you in the military?" He kept inching closer to me, hands in the air.
"National guard," I responded, still backing up. He stopped walking.
"You don't need to be afraid. I'm Shane. I am, was, a police officer. We have food, water… People. " I glanced from him to the group by the camper, they slowly lowered their weapons. They looked harmless enough. I put my gun down.
"I'm Kate. I'm sorry about barging in like this; I figured it'd be deserted. Or infected," I raised my gun at Shane again, "Are any of you infected?" He chuckled.
"No ma'am, we are not. Are you?" Shane said. I lowered my gun.
"No, not at all." I said. Shane smiled and started walking back toward his group.
"Good. Ya'll, this is Kate, she's in the National Guard." Shane said. I walked behind my jeep and cautiously toward the men. The one with the pistol holstered it and held out a hand to me.
"Nice to meet ya. I'm Rick Grimes." He said. He had brown hair with a 5 o'clock shadow, tan and deep set wrinkles around his eyes. I looked at his hand wearily. I finally shook it, not seeing anything infectious about it. He motioned over his shoulder. "This here is Glenn and T-Dog." He said. I nodded at them each in turn. Glenn waved slightly and T-Dog nodded back. I turned to Rick.
"Who are you people?" I asked. He smiled.
"Survivors. Shane and I were friends, we all kinda met up along the way. Are you alone?" He asked. I nodded. "You said you were lookin' for food, are you hungry?"
"Yeah. I had some peanut butter earlier but that's been it for days." I said.
"We have food, like Shane said, and water. And we have shelter and protection if you're interested." Rick offered. The men behind Rick started walking back towards the RV.
"I don't even know you people." I said, taken aback. Rick rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.
"That's true. But we ain't walkers. What else do you need to know anymore?" He asked. I nodded, still in shock to be around people. I motioned to my jeep.
"I just have to grab-" I didn't finish but Rick nodded and I walked over and cut the engine. I put my rifle in the passenger seat and grabbed my jacket, throwing it on over my wife beater and buttoning it up. I grabbed a pack from the back of the jeep and threw two extra pistols inside and a half empty jug of water. I shouldered it and walked back to Rick, not knowing what to expect. He lead me to the RV where people had gathered, staring at me.
I looked from person to person, cautiously. Rick pointed to them all from beside me.
"Kate, this is Carol, and my wife, Lori, and our son, Carl. You've met Glenn and T-Dog. That up there is Dale. Shane's around here somewhere. That over there is Andrea, and Daryl is over in a tent. He recuperating." I raised my eyebrows and put a hand on the butt of my pistol. "No, he was shot. And had a fall. He wasn't bit." Rick said. I relaxed a little and dropped my hand back to my side.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Kate." I said and looked to Rick. "So you have food?" I asked hopefully. The woman named Carol stepped forward and smiled at me.
"I'll get you something to eat, sweetheart. Hope you like potatoes." She said. I nodded. "Good, come with me and I'll cook you a little something up." She tutted motherly, "Daryl should probably eat something about now, too." I glanced at Rick and he nodded at me. I followed Carol toward a fire pit. She was bony and thin with a kind face with almost shaved, graying hair. Carol cooked some potatoes and a little meat. My mouth watered at the sounds and smells or real food being prepared. Carol looked up at me while dividing the food onto two plates.
"How long have you been on your own, dear?" She asked.
I shrugged and answered, "A few weeks… I'm not sure."
Carol's eyes got glassy. "No girls should be on their own." She started walking toward one of the tents, holding the plates of food. I practically floated with the smell, like a cartoon character. My stomach growled loudly and she ducked into a smallish tent. I followed cautiously and was immediately berated by a man lying on a sleeping bag.
"Who the fuck is this? Why is she here?" I looked at Carol, unsure how to answer and unsure exactly why I was here.
"Daryl this is Kate, she drove up to the house looking for food and found all of us. Isn't she lucky?" Carol said soothingly. Daryl scoffed.
"Great, 'nother mouth to feed." He took the plate from Carol and started eating with his hands, not looking at me. He was tan and muscular with disheveled dirty blonde hair, and a patchy mustache and goatee. He was wearing a shirt without sleeves, unbuttoned and a dirty pair of olive colored pants and brown work boots. Carol motioned for me to sit on the floor of the tent, away from Daryl. I plopped down and removed my beret. Carol handed me the other plate and a fork. She smiled.
"Daryl isn't as bad as he seems." Carol said, turning and leaving.
"Nah, I'm worse." Daryl muttered under his breath.
I ate silently, looking only at me plate. I savored the taste of warm food, eating fast and feeling full when my plate empty. Something I hadn't felt in a while. I glanced up at Daryl and he was staring at me.
"What the fuck you looking at?" He barked at me. I blushed.
"Rick said you were shot. And fell. You didn't come into contact with anything infectious, did you?" I asked, glancing at his bare chest, where I could see the bandages from a wound on his side.
"What the hell you mean infectious?"
"Anything from people infected from Wildfire? Blood? Saliva? Scratches?" I asked, daring to look at his face.
"Walkers ain't people," He sneered, "And no."
The Case of the Missing Man
A book was lying on the sleeping bag beside Daryl with an arrow as a book mark. I cleared my throat.
"What are you reading?" I asked.
"Nothin'." Daryl grunted. I sighed and Daryl propped himself up on his elbows. "What the hell are ya makin' conversation for? You just drive up here and start talkin' 'bout the weather? Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm… Kate. I was in the National Guard. I was stationed in Georgia to help with evacuations… Everything fell apart and I ran. I ended up here, looking for food." I toyed with my fork nervously, not looking at Daryl.
"You been fed, ya gunna leave now?"
"Rick basically asked me to stay." I licked my lips and looked up nervously. I hadn't spoken in weeks, I couldn't remember how conversations were supposed to go. Was the other person always so abrasive?
Daryl rolled his eyes, "'Course he did, I bet he gave ya that gun, too? And as much ammo as you can carry. Mother fucker."
"No, actually, I brought my own guns, my own water and more medical supplies than you can probably count." I said, angered by his rudeness. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"You best watch yourself, girl." Daryl said, throwing his plate forcefully on the ground.
"I can take care of myself," I said. "I've never been shot."
"Well I never been starving." Daryl retorted, turning his head away from me, looking out the tent screen to his left. I took a deep breath, wondering if being around other people was such a good idea after all.
Carol returned a few minutes later, giving me a sleeping bag, a blanket and pillow. She smiled warmly, "Rick and Shane said you didn't have any camping equipment in your jeep, you can stay here with Daryl, we don't have much room in any other tents."
Daryl nodded while looking out the screen, "Great." He muttered quietly. I smiled at Carol.
"This is awfully generous of you but I've been sleeping in the jeep, I'm perfectly fine-"
"Nonsense!" Carol cut me off, "It's exposed and cramped. Daryl is quite the hunter, you'll be safe." She cleared the plates and left. I glanced at Daryl who was staring intently outside, despite the fact that the sun was setting and seeing through the screen at twilight was nearly impossible. I unrolled the sleeping bag and crawled to the end of the tent.
"Where should I put this bow?" I asked. Daryl sat up fast and groaned, putting a hand on his hip.
"Don't touch it!" He grimaced and I cocked my head to the side.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Fine." He said closing his eyes. I crawled toward him.
"Let me see your wound." I said.
"Are you fuckin' crazy? I don't know you." He barked.
"I have medical training, move your hand." I said. He squinted his eyes closed and moved his hand. I pushed his orange plaid shirt away and leaned over him to inspect the bandage. "Did it go through you?" I asked.
"Yeah, an arrow, I pulled it out." He said, breathing heavily. I glanced at the bow in the corned and the arrow book mark and raised my eyebrows but said nothing. I learned farther over him and looked under his torso. The bandage was still white. There were old, faded scars on his back but again, I didn't mention them.
I pulled away and shrugged. "Nothing looks out of the ordinary. Are you taking any medication?"
He nodded, eyes still closed, "It's under my pillow." I reached underneath his pillow, and grabbed the bottle there. I pulled it out and inspected the label.
"Who's Merle Dixon?" I asked. Daryl eyes flew open and he snatched the bottle out of my hand.
"My brother, what's it to ya?" He uncapped he bottle and dry swallowed some pills. Then he replaced the cap and threw it into the corner of the tent.
"I didn't meet a Merle in camp." I said.
"'Course not, he ain't here."
"Is he dead?" I asked. Daryl's eyes locked onto mine, piercing blue and cold.
"Don't fuckin' talk about my brother."
"Alright." I nodded and crawled back over to me side of the tent. I untied my combat boots and unbuttoned my jacket. I climbed into my sleeping bag, my head touching the bow I wasn't allowed to move. I sighed and turned away from Daryl, wondering whether sleeping in my open air jeep would have been more enjoyable than his irritable company.
I was warm. I could feel the sun beating down on me. I tried to move my feet but they were tangled in something; I opened my eyes and could only see plaid. As I slowly remembered where I was I realized I recognized the plaid pattern as Daryl's shirt. Then I heard him take a deep breath and the pillow under my head moved up and down in time with his breathing.
I wasn't laying on a pillow, I was laying on Daryl.
I sat up quickly and looked around. In my sleep, I had rolled to a complete right angle, using Daryl as a pillow, my own pillow exactly where I left it when I went to sleep. I frantically looked at Daryl's face, praying he was asleep and hadn't noticed but he was staring at me, expressionless.
"You snore," He said.
"I'm sorry. I'm a heavy sleeper, I didn't mean…" I blushed and bit my lip. Of all the people to sleep on!
Daryl shrugged, "Whatever." He looked back out the window and I retreated back to my side of the tent. I wiggled out of my sleeping bag and put on my boots. I reached behind my back and grabbed my hair tie and pulled it off. I expertly unbraided my hair and let it fall, crinkly, over my shoulders, almost long enough for me to sit on. My brown hair nearly looked black from lack of washing and I hoped there was some way to bathe in this camp.
"Ya' got a lot of hair." Daryl said, interrupting my thoughts.
"I've never cut it." I felt uncomfortable with the way he was looking at me. Judging my hair and it's length.
"Why?" He asked.
"What happened to your brother?" I countered. Daryl smirked and looked out the tent screen. Rick walked by the tent and kneeled down at the entrance.
"Kate?" He called. I unzipped the door and crawled out. He stood up and offered me his hand to help me stand. "Good, you're up. Are you hungry? We can make some breakfast."
I shook my head. "Actually, is there some way to bathe?" I asked. Rick opened his mouth but Daryl interrupted him from inside the tent.
"I'm starvin'!" Daryl called. Rick smiled.
"There's some water and buckets by the side of the RV to freshen up, I'll cook up some breakfast for you and Daryl." Rick said. I smiled at him and walked towards the buckets he mentioned.
I crudely wet myself down poured some water over my hair. From the looks of Lori and Andrea, they had to have shampoo but, I was a guest and had already been given food and shelter and didn't want to overstay my welcome.
The smell of cooking food wafted over to me and I rung some of the water out of my hair, eager for another real meal. I walked back to Daryl's tent and ducked inside, he looked up at me hopefully and then rolled his eyes.
"I thought you was the food." He complained.
"Sorry to get your hopes up." I flopped on the sleeping bag as far away from him as possible.
"Ain't you supposed to be grateful to your host?" He sneered.
I looked him straight in the eye and cocked my head to the side, "I am not being hosted by an invalid."
Daryl bristled at my comment and sat up straighter, "The fuck you call me?"
At that moment Rick stuck his head in the tent and was given our full attention. He handed one plate of food to Daryl who ripped it from his grasp. I nodded demurely as Rick handed me my own plate, "Thank you so much for all your hospitality, Rick. I don't have much but I do have some guns and a lot of medical supplies-"
Rick cut me off, "It's no trouble. It's all thanks to Hershel we have the supplies to spare."
I furrowed my brow. "I don't think I was introduced to a Hershel." I said.
"Hershel Greene, he owns this farm, He and his daughters and his neighbor all stay up in the house. He's been generous enough to allow us to stay and provide some medical care." Rick's head seemed to hang as he explained the living situation. I sensed there was something he wasn't telling me.
"So he's a doctor?" I asked, not wanting to pry too much but curious.
Rick cleared his throat awkwardly and Daryl smirked into his plate. "He was a veterinarian. But he healed Carl from a gunshot and patched up Daryl's wounds. We owe him a lot." Rick smiled but still looked troubled.
"And by proxy, I owe him, too." I said, smiling.
"You should eat now, before it gets cold." Rick backed out of the tent and I began to eat. Daryl belched and dropped his plate to the ground.
"You gunna eat all that?" He asked.
I ignored him and ate as slow as I possibly could to torture him. Something about the man irked me. He was rude and uncouth. When I was finished eating I reached over and took his plate and mine and left the tent. Carol was washing clothes by a tree and I walked over to her.
"Good morning, Carol. Daryl and I finished our breakfast, where should I wash our plates?" Carol smiled up at me,
"Don't be silly, I'll do it." She stood up and walked over to a table with other dishes. She picked up a glass and held it out to me, "Why don't you take this glass of water to Daryl and remind him to take his medication?"
I smiled at her and took the glass and obediently brought it to Daryl's tent. Inside, Daryl was laying back with his arm draped over his eyes. I cleared my throat, trying to get his attention. He didn't move his arm but his mouth turned down in a frown.
"Can't a guy get some peace in this damn place?" He nearly yelled.
My patience was running thin and I tipped the glass slightly, letting a little water fall on Daryl's bare chest. He gasped and sat up suddenly, his eyes looked at the glass, then at me. I gave him my most wide eyed, innocent look and stammered, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Carol told me it was time for your pill."
Daryl snatched the glass out of my hand and rooted around under his pillow for Merle's pill bottle. He growled and looked over to the corner of the tent, remembering he had thrown it there the night before. I stepped forward and grabbed the bottle and handed it to him.
"I coulda gotten it." He said, forlornly.
I sat on the other end of the tent, "And torn your stitches." I said shortly and started running my fingers threw my damp hair, working out the knots.
"Merle ain't dead. He's a tough son of a bitch." Daryl suddenly said.
I started braiding my hair and didn't look at him, "I can see the family resemblance."
Daryl growled, "I told ya 'bout my brother, now tell me 'bout your hair."
I looked over at him, surprised, "Why do you care about my hair? I've just never cut it, I've never felt the need."
"Don't it get in the way?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested. "Don't walkers grab it?"
I chuckled. "Right, 'walkers'. Is that what you call the victims of Wildfire?"
"Don't change the subject." He warned, furrowing his brow at me.
I sighed, "No, it doesn't get in the way. I'm used to it. I tie it back or up." I flushed a little. Why this barbaric man was interested in the length of my hair was beyond me. I had been nothing but the bane of his existence since I arrived but he wouldn't allow this subject to drop.
"You should leave it down." He grunted, toying with one of the many arrows scattered around the tent.
"I'll take that under advisement," I said. "Let me look at your stitches, again." I walked on my knees toward him and he laid his head back and lifted his hands and his arrow up, away from his side. I unbuttoned the bottom buttons of his gray, sleeveless shirt today, and inspected the bandage. It was still white but I gently peeled the tape on the side off and looked at the wound. It was seeping, but nothing excessive. I pressed the tape back against his skin and I heard a sharp intake of breath.
"Is it sore?" I asked, looking up at his face.
"The fuck you think?" He barked, not meeting my eyes.
"The pills will kick in soon enough, that's some strong stuff of your brothers." I pulled his shirt away, farther and Daryl obediently rolled onto his side so I could look at the back, better. Daryl's shirt got caught under his hip as he rolled and almost the entirety of his back was exposed. I gasped at the full extent of old scars. Daryl's whole body tensed up and he squeezed his eyes closed.
I slowly peeled the back bandage off and was satisfied with the wound. I pressed the bandage back on and ran a hand lightly over his shoulder blade, where the largest mark was. Daryl rolled over quickly and I jerked my hand back in surprise. He buttoned the button of his shirt, all the way to the top, his face flushed and eyes cloudy, glaring at the floor.
"Where is your brother, if he isn't dead?" I asked, attempting to lighten the mood. Daryl ignored me.
"I've never cut my hair but…" I took a deep breath, "Someone else has. My mother. She was sick and she cut if while I was sleeping. It was long and she said God didn't want me to be vain. That I was sinning. She, uh, she killed herself. I was there." I glanced up at Daryl and he was no longer flushed.
I had never told anyone about my mother. I told the kids at school I had got bubble gum in my hair and we couldn't get it out. I told them that she had cancer. That kind of sickness could be understood, mental illnesses were so taboo, I didn't want the stigma around me.
I needed air, I stood up and quickly left the tent. My mind was spinning. Why had I opened up to him? He was horrible. The image of his scarred back was burned into my mind. Maybe it wasn't his fault he was that way. I looked up and realized I had walked to my jeep. I stood on the back bumper and started throwing the medical supplies into various backpacks, knowing that host Hershel with his vet background would have to be grateful.
Shane shook his head, grinning like a kid in a candy store, "Those're all medical supplies?" He asked incredulously.
I shrugged, "That was my job."
He whooped, "Whoo-ee Ms. Kate, you're like an angel waltzing in here. 'For nothing shall I want'"…
I shifted my weight from foot to foot, feeling awkward at his Bible quotation. "It's the least I can do, for all the hospitality I've been given. I was actually hoping to give some to Hershel, he is familiar with most of these things."
Shane frowned, "That's a little tricky. See, Rick's the only one who really talks to the old man… We're not exactly welcomed guests."
I nodded and glanced around, the camp seemed to be pretty permanent, everyone had obviously settled in. People were doing chores, routines, looking relaxed. I wondered if Shane was exaggerating, or if they were aware of the precariousness of their stay.
I smiled, "Well, I'll give these to Rick, then, let him decide. I said. Shane nodded his head at me and walked away in a very stereotypical police gesture. I slung the three bags over my shoulders and went off in search of Rick.
I spotted him on the porch of the house. I had to pass Daryl's tent in order to get there and I mentally kicked myself for opening up to him, complicating our living situation in the process. As I passed the tent, Daryl was struggling to exit it and I dropped my bags to the ground and put my arms around him to help.
"What are you doing out of bed? You're going to open your stitches!" I exclaimed, grunting under the strain of his weight. Daryl put one unsure foot in front of the other and tried to shake me off.
"I gotta take a piss!" He yelled, face flushed.
"Let me help you, you're going to hurt yourself." I said, dodging a flailing arm.
"I don' need no fucking help." He said, still trying to escape my grasp.
I put a hand on the side of his face and turned his head to look at me. "If you don't let me help you, you'll have to lay around and heal that much longer." I said, calmly.
Daryl quickly placed his hand on my shoulder and pushed, I fell back, surprised and landed square on my ass in the dirt. I looked up at Daryl, taken aback, and he looked down at me, eyes huge. He raised the hand he had pushed me with and turned it over as though he wasn't sure what it was. He flexed his fingers as if to see if he still had control of the appendage.
Shane suddenly appeared and stood inches from Daryl, his chest in Daryl's face as he yelled down at him, "What the hell are you doing to her?"
I stood up and brushed off the seat of my pants and tried to squeeze between Daryl and Shane. "It was an accident," I said to Shane, "I was trying to help him and I fell." Shane backed away from me, as I shielded Daryl with my body.
"This piece of shit pushed you," He said, "I saw him."
I shook my head. "No," I said firmly, "I fell, you got it wrong."
Shane squinted and took a step towards me, putting a hand on my arm, "Why are you protecting him?"
I pulled my arm out of Shane's grasp. "I was helping him and I fell." I smiled sweetly, "There were limbs everywhere. It was an accident."
Shane adjusted the brim of his baseball cap, looking confused and walked away. I stood rooted to my spot, completely still until he was out of sight and then turned to Daryl.
"You didn't need to lie for me." Daryl said quietly, looking at the ground. "I can handle that asshole."
"Maybe," I said, "But you're already injured, it wouldn't have been a fair fight."
"Why the fuck you care?" Daryl spat.
I swallowed and thought fast, "I take care of injured people, it's my job. Do you still have to piss?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"I can do it." He said, starting to limp towards the woods.
"Maybe," I said again. "But you're going to let me help you this time. And if you push me, I'll sick Shane on you." I and put my arm around Daryl's back. He let me, grumbling and together we walked towards the woods.
"Don' watch me." Daryl said, looking over his shoulder at me.
I smirked, "Do you want me to turn around?"
"Yeah," He answered. "And don' listen."
I turned around and put my hands over my ears, finding the entire situation juvenile. Eventually I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around, smiling, "Okay, you're highness, let's start back-"
In front of me stood a drooling, mangled infected women, with a claw-like hand on my elbow. I quickly put both my hands on either side of her face and twisted, breaking her neck. Her body dropped heavily to the ground but her jaws still snapped and her eyes rolled wildly in the sockets. I stomped hard on her face until it was silent mush and looked for Daryl. He was hobbling toward me, zipping his fly.
"I thought I told you not to look." He said frowning; he glanced to the decaying corpse at me feet and on my shoe and looked back up at me, "I didn't even hear you kill it."
I shrugged, "That is also my job.
After Daryl was back in bed I went to mingle with the rest of the survivors. Carol cut me off, wringing her hands, looking worried.
"Kate, I heard you had, er, a fall. I'll clean your clothes before somebody sees them."
"So Shane's told everyone?" I asked.
Carol glanced towards Daryl's tent skittishly. "Oh, no. Nothing to tell."
I cocked my head to the side, "Carol, Daryl did push me, but it was an accident, you should have seen the look on his face, he was sorry, he-"
Carol put a hand up, stopping me, "I understand, believe me, I understand."
"Shane was going to hurt him. I lied so he wouldn't get hurt. I wasn't protecting me, I was protecting him, Shane overreacted." For some reason I felt upset that Carol didn't understand my motives; she was accepting that I was enabling him.
"In any case, I brought some clean clothes for you to change into. They're Lori's, you're about the same size. I'll wash up what you've got on."
I nodded, trying to put the incident between myself, Daryl and Shane into words she could understand. I accepted the clothes and walked back towards Daryl's tent, unnerved.
"Close your eyes, I'm going to change." I said.
Daryl closed his eyes and I unfolded Lori's clothes. There was a pair of jeans, a light blue tank top and a red flannel shirt. Most importantly there was a pair of clean socks, underwear and a real bra. I had been wearing the same sweaty sports bra for a month and beamed at the prospect of newer clothes. But, apparently, I was both shorter and bustier than Lori. I could cuff the jeans and make do with the bra and tank top but the flannel would never button all the way up. I sighed and began taking off the flannel.
"I have a shirt you can borrow." Daryl said, startling me.
"You weren't supposed to look!" I said, blushing.
Daryl shrugged, "You turned around while I was pissin'."
"No, I killed an infected. All I saw was you zipping up, you got a whole show!"
Red splotches appeared on Daryl's cheeks as he reached into a duffel bag on the floor, pulling out a green flannel shirt, with sleeves. He handed it to me without meeting my eyes and I took it, awkwardly. I put it on and though it was too big, it did button and it was clean.
"Thanks for the clean clothes, Lori" I said, smiling, handing her the flannel shirt.
She took it and looked at the shirt I was wearing, confused, "Did Carol give you two?"
I shook my head, "No, it didn't button at the top, Daryl gave me one, temporarily."
Lori cocked an eyebrow. "Ah. Shane's said some things…"
I nodded. "Yes, and Shane was ready to fight an injured man over an assumption. I can take care of myself."
"Kate, no one is doubting you, we're just… Concerned." Lori said, tactfully. "You see, we're a bit sensitive. Carol's late husband was, ah, rough with her."
I nodded, understanding Carol's odd behavior earlier. "Lori, why would Carol want to help me protect Daryl? She wouldn't listen to my explanation; she just tried to cover it up."
Lori sighed, "Well, he got hurt looking for her daughter. Maybe she feels she owes him?"
"What happened to Carol's daughter?" I asked.
"She got lost, at the highway, some walkers came by and Rick and her ran into the woods. Only Rick came out. Daryl's looked the hardest, obviously." She said with sad eyes.
"Sophia?" I asked, remembering the windshield.
Lori sat up straighter, "That's right, have you seen her?"
I shook my head, "No, I saw the message on the car on the highway. And the food. I ate some of peanut butter but I felt guilty. The rest is still there."
Lori sighed. "Carol's trying to take her mind off it. Caring for Daryl and you is the closest thing to normal she's done in…" She trailed off, frowning.
I glanced around the camp, trying to locate Carol. The sun was setting and she was hanging wet clothes on a clothes line strung up between trees.
"When did she get lost?" I asked Lori.
"A few days ago." Lori said, in a low voice.
I hugged my dirty clothes tighter to me and walked over to Carol and smiled. "Here are my clothes, Carol, there pretty rank, I'm really sorry-"
"Oh, not a problem. I'm not quite my old Maytag but I get the job done." I chuckled at Carol's joke and studied the lines in her face. To be abused by her husband and have her daughter stay safely at her side through the end of the world, only to lose her in the woods, not knowing if she was alive or dead…
"I really can't thank you enough." I said, meaning every word of it.
"It looks like you should thank Daryl, that is his shirt, isn't it?" Carol asked, eyes twinkling.
I looked down and blushed, "Yes, but-"
"He must be quite fond of you," Carol interrupted, "No one's been able to spend that much time with him but his brother. And they almost killed each other daily."
"I really don't think-" I started.
"It'll do him good to open up to someone. And you, too. No one should be on their own for that long." Carol's smile faltered for a second before she looked up at me, "Your clothes should be ready by tomorrow morning, they can dry over night."
"Thanks Carol." I said. She just smiled and worked at a stain on the elbow of my jacket.
I stared up at the ceiling of the tent. Neither Daryl or I was sleeping, I could hear his irregular breathing and every once in a while he shifted, trying to get comfortable.
What kind of a person must he be to search so hard for Carol's daughter that he injured himself? I thought back to him watching me change and a lightbulb turned on in my head.
"Uh, Daryl?" I asked.
He grunted.
"How old is Sophia?" I asked.
He was silent for a moment, "Twelve, I think."
Huh. Not old enough for Daryl to be attracted to her. My first theory was disproven but I was still intrigued by this brash man's motives.
"Daryl?" I asked again.
"What?" He said crossly.
"Where'd you get those scars?" I asked.
We laid in silence for so long I started to drift to sleep when Daryl's voice woke me up.
"Your ma, she was sick, did she beat you?" Daryl asked
I rolled onto my side, toward him, my face looking at Daryl's feet. "No," I said, "She made me recite Bible verses until my voice was hoarse."
"My old man, he drank." Daryl said. He turned away from me and pulled his knees into his chest, laying in the fetal position.
I had suspected as much but to hear Daryl admit it was heartbreaking. The connection between him and Carol was obvious now.
I woke slowly, not opening my eyes, willing myself to fall back asleep. I had been dreaming about sailing on the ocean, rocking back and forth. It was calming. Unfortunately I could hear the birds chirping and smell a fire. I was hungry. Then I felt the rocking again. My head was lifted and fell gently. There was a sound I couldn't place. It was familiar…
Someone was running their fingers through my hair. I searched my brain for where I was. I was in Rick's camp. I was in Daryl's tent. There. I felt it again. Oh my god.
Daryl was running his fingers through my hair.
I tried to keep my breaths as even and sleep-like as possible. Why was he doing this? He said I should wear it long, but, this was weird, right? Wasn't he supposed to be a hunter? I could feel his legs against mine, my cheek resting on his shoulder, His own arm was pulling running through my long hair, draped over his chest.
"Lotta hair." He said, softly, running his fingers from my scalp to the ends.
I'd pretend to wake up and see what he'd do. I snorted and turned my head, quickly. I opened my eyes and looked around, pretending to be disoriented. I looked over at his body next to mine and pushed myself away. I looked up into his clear, blue eyes and stammered, "I'm so sorry, I move around a lot in my sleep."
"S'okay." He said, nonchalantly.
A lock of hair fell into my eyes and I pushed it back, out of habit. I narrowed my eyes at Daryl, "When I went to bed, my hair was braided."
"Yup." He said.
"So, how'd it get unbraided?" I asked.
"You were sleeping on me." He said.
"Yes. And I apologized for that. Why did you unbraid my hair?" I asked, annoyed with his curt responses.
"Already told ya, you should leave it long." He said, blushing slightly.
"Whatever, are you hungry?" I asked, trying to put the hair incident from my mind.
"Starvin'." He said.
"I'll go get us some breakfast." I said, crawling out of my sleeping bag and towards the tent door.
Daryl sat up, "I'm comin' with ya, I'm goin' crazy in here."
"Fine," I said, "But let me help you out."
Daryl was indeed much more mobile than yesterday's trip to the bathroom. He made it to a camping chair near the edge of the fire without any of my help. I was grateful to be out of the tent and was seated on a decent sized rock to Daryl's left. Everyone was eating breakfast silently while T-Dog and Carol continued cooking eggs and refilling plates.
I studied each member of the group, in turn, remembering names and trying to memorize their mannerisms. Daryl was eating with a fork, for once, which made me grin. Glenn was staring off across the field to a pretty girl standing on the porch of the house, shaking her head at him. Glenn looked to Dale who nodded at him. Glenn stood and walked towards the front of the groups.
"Um, guys," He started, "So… The barn is full of walkers."
"You cannot tell me you're alright with this." Shane said to Rick, as he walked through the middle of the group, standing uneasily by the barn of infected.
"No, I am not," Rick said, "But we're guests here, this isn't our land."
"Oh god, this is our lives, man!" Shane yelled.
"Lower your voice." Glenn pleaded at Shane.
"We cannot sweep this under the rug." Andrea said
"It ain't right, not remote." T-Dog said.
"We either gotta go in there, make things right or we have just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benet for a long time, now-" Shane started.
"We can't go!" Rick said, putting a hand out in front of Shane
"Why, Rick? Why?" Shane demanded
"Cause my daughter's still out there." Carol said,
Shane sputtered and put his hands in front of his mouth, "Carol, I think it is time that we just consider the other possibility-"
"We are not leaving Sophia behind." Rick said firmly.
Daryl stepped forward from beside me, "I'm close to finding this girl, I just found her damn doll two days ago."
"You found her doll, Daryl, that's what you did, you found a doll." Shane said dismissively.
Daryl stepped closer to Shane, swinging his arm out, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."
I stepped closer to Daryl and Shane, remembering the confrontation the day before. Rick also stepped between the two and attempted to calm down Shane.
"Now look," Shane said, pacing back and forth, "I'm just saying what needs to be said, here. Now you get a good lead in the 48 hours-"
"Shane, stop-" Rick said, putting hands up in front of Shane. Shane and Daryl continued to pace back and forth on either side of Rick, eyeing each other.
"I'll tell you something else, man, if she was alive out there, saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!" Shane yelled.
"Shut up!" Daryl yelled, attempted to jump at Shane, through Rick, then behind him. Everyone moved in between the two of them. Daryl backed away and I put my hand on his arm, he exhaled through his mouth as Shane yelled, "I'll beat your ass! Don't you come at me! I'll beat your ass!" towards Daryl and twisted out of Lori's grasp.
"Keep your hands off." Shane said in Lori direction and walked away.
"Just let me talk to Hershel," Rick pleaded, "Let me figure it out."
"What are you gunna figure out?" Shane screamed, walking towards Rick, Lori putting her hands up and stepping in front of him.
"If we're gunna stay, if we're gunna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land." Rick said.
Dale stepped forward, "Hershel sees those things in there as people, sick people. His wife, his, his stepson."
"You knew?" Rick asked Dale incredulously.
"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel." Dale said
"And you waited the night!" Shane accused.
"I thought we could survive one more night, we did. I was waiting til this morning to say something but Glenn wanted to be the one." Dale said, motioning to Glenn.
"Man is crazy, Rick," Shane said, pointing at Rick," If Hershel thinks those things are still alive-"
"Alright, enough!" Rick yelled before the sound of infected pushing against the barn doors drowned out the argument. Everyone stepped back, away from the barn and I tightened my grasp on Daryl's arm, stepping closer towards him.
I sat near the camp fire, my elbows on my knees, holding my head in my hands. Near me, Carl and Lori were discussing leaving. My thoughts turned towards my jeep. My life before. My weeks alone on the road, worrying, not sleeping. Killing the infected daily. These people had taken me in. Given two nights of untroubled sleep. Food. But this camp was no paradise.
I could leave.
I saw Daryl carrying a saddle into the stables. And Carol hurrying in, after him. Carol had shown me such kindness, despite her missing daughter and Shane losing hope of finding her.
And Daryl. I had opened up to him about my mother. And my hair. And he had told me about his father. Allowed me to care for him when he was weak. And judging from the altercation with Shane earlier, his moments of weakness were rare.
Daryl walked out of the stables, without Carol or a horse, clutching his side. He walked purposefully toward his tent and I intercepted him before he made it inside.
"Are you alright?" I asked, matching his hurried stride.
"Get the fuck outta my way!" He said, ducking into the tent.
I followed him inside and watched him gather his crossbow and various arrows. He turned to leave and saw me standing in the doorway, blocking his exit. I stared him down, unafraid. I watched his chest rise and fall rapidly, I looked at his dirty, sweating face, his squinting blue eyes, his disheveled dark blonde hair, seeing him not an an invalid but as someone powerful.
"Best get outta my way." He said, coolly.
I took a step toward him, but not moving aside. I looked him up and down, as if really seeing him for the first time. I started unbuttoning the top button of the green flannel shirt he had lent me. Daryl cocked his eyebrow but said nothing. I unbuttoned the second and the third, hurriedly, my fingers fumbling at the task. Finally all the buttons were undone and I slid out of the shirt and I threw it on the floor.
Daryl's eyes looked at my torso for a second and then back at my face. I took another step toward him and grabbed the hem of Lori's tank top, I pulled it over my head and dropped it to the ground. Daryl's eyes flicked from my breasts to my face a few times and I took another step closer and put my hand on the front of his olive, sleeveless shirt.
His chest was still rising and falling and I could see beads of sweet on his forehead. I took my other hand and ran it through his hair and licked my lips. Daryl's eyes widened and he adjusted his grip on the crossbow in the right hand. I brought my right hand down to the crossbow and took a hold of it and yanked it gently from his hands. I dropped it on top of his bed. Then I took my left hand and did the same with the arrows.
I took one more step into him. Now chest to chest, his blue eyes stared into my green ones. I slowly brought my right hand to the back of his neck and pulled his head towards me, meeting his mouth with mine. I took his arms and pulled them around me, feeling electricity from where he was touching my bare skin.
I pulled away from our kiss for a moment to breathe and he took his right hand and ran in through my hair, to the back of my head, pulling me into another kiss. We both pulled away from the second kiss, panting. We started kissing harder, faster, with more intensity and I pulled him down to the floor. He started kissing my neck, making me moan. He began sucking and I called out, "Ah! Daryl!"
He froze, his mouth still attached to my neck, I tried to pull my head away but his grip was too strong. I strained against him to pull free but he didn't budge. "Daryl?" I asked, scared of what he was doing. He hung his head, resting it in the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply. I stopped pushing against his chest and put my arms around his back in a strong embrace as he took uneven, sobbing breaths in against my body. He reverberated in my arms and I held him tightly to me.
Eventually Daryl's breathing became normal and he pulled away. He avoided meeting my eyes and rose, walking out of the tent. I collapsed back onto his sleeping bag, next to his bow and arrows, wondering what came over me.
Eventually I redressed, popping the collar of Daryl's shirt to hide the hickey I'd received earlier. I walked out of the tent. Daryl and Carol were nowhere in sight, Andrea and T-Dog were near an old pickup truck, holding a gun, looking over a map. I walked over to them.
"Looking for Sophia?" I asked.
Andre shielded her eyes from the sun and looked at me, "Yeah, you interested?"
I nodded, "I'd like to help Carol."
"You got a gun?" Andrea asked.
I patted the holstered pistol at my hip and T-Dog whistled, "Don't you know, her people are always prepared."
I laughed, "No, that's would be the boys scouts."
T-Dog shrugged, "Same difference."
Andrea, T-Dog and I walked across the lawn towards the house. They had become impatient waiting to Rick. Glenn stood up from sitting on the front steps.
"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog asked Glenn.
"Where is everyone?" Andrea followed.
"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn fired back.
"Went off with Hershel, we were supposed to leave a couple hours ago." Andrea explained.
"Yeah you were," Daryl piped up, walking up the dirt path with Carol. My heart skipped a beat and I blushed. He ignored me. "What the hell?"
"Rick told us he was going out." Carol said nervously, walking toward me.
"Damnit!" Daryl exclaimed. "Is anyone taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail!" He pointed back towards the way he came. He saw Shane walking towards all of them with guns "Oh, here we go." Daryl said, pacing. "What's all this?"
"You with me, man?" Shane asked, handing a shotgun to Daryl. Daryl took it and cocked it.
"You got yours?" Shane asked myself, Andrea and T-Dog.
"Yeah, uh, where's Dale?" Andrea asked.
Shane kept walking. "He's coming."
T-Dog took a pistol from Shane, "I thought we couldn't carry?" He asked.
"We can and we have to." Shane responded.
Shane walked to the front of the group and raised his voice, "Look, it was one thing standing around picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't." He looked at Glenn, "How 'bout you, you wanna protect yours?" Shane handed Glenn a shotgun and Glenn glanced at Hershel's daughter before accepting it.
"That's it." Shane said, looking to the daughter, "Can you shoot?"
"Can you stop?" She responded. "You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight."
"We have to stay, Shane." Carl piped up.
"What is this? Lori asked, coming from behind Carl.
"We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Shane said. "Now look, Hershel, he's just gunna have to understand, okay? He's gunna have to. Now we need to find Sophia am I right?" Shane kneeled in front of Carl, directing the question to him. "Now I want you to take this, you take it Carl and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes, you know how, go on take this gun and do it."
Lori pushed Carl back, "Rick said no guns, this is not your call, this is not your decision to make" Lori spat and Shane you glared up at her.
"Oh shit." T-Dog interrupted, looking across the way at Rick, Hershel and the neighbor boy leading two infected towards them on poles.
"What is that?" Shane asked, running down the path towards them, "Man, what the hell you doing?" He screamed.
I glanced over at Daryl who I realized was staring at me and everyone began to run down the path after Shane. I put the arm around Daryl's waist and helped him limp towards Shane and Rick. When I let him go, he trained his gun on the infected man that Rick was holding on to.
"You're right man, that is enough." Shane said, walking towards a female infected, shooting her in the head and making her and Hershel fall to the ground.
"Enough!" Shane yelled, "Risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"
Carol brought her hand to her heard and gasped. I stepped toward her but Shane was not done, yet.
"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us!"
"Enough! Rick it ain't like it was before! Now, if you all wanna live, if you wanna survive, you gotta fight for it, I'm talking fight, right here, right now!" He turned on his heel and ran toward the barn, undoing the locks and chains and hacking with a pickax while people screamed.
I put an arm around Carol who paced back and forth and locked eyes with Daryl for one second before the barn doors flew open and the infected poured out. I drew my pistol and cocked it, and ran to the firing line, beside Daryl, taking careful headshots.
Eventually all of the infected were truly dead on the ground and the only sounds were panting and crying. We lowered our weapons. A rasping sound came from inside the barn and a little girl limped forward, seeming the squint in the sun. Carol cried out and ran forward and Daryl caught her and pulled her to the ground, dropping his shotgun in the process. Carol cried, "Sophia." over and over and everyone just stared at the growling, infected girl.
Rick stepped forward and leveled his weapon at her. She took two steps toward him and he pulled the trigger and she fell in a heap to the ground.
Carol cried out as Daryl repeated, "Don't watch, look away" to her. Eventually she ripped out of Daryl's grasp and ran away, back toward camp. Daryl followed after her and I followed after Daryl. I could hear Shane begin to scream at Hershel but I kept following Carol and Daryl.
Carol climbed the steps of the RV and slammed the door behind her. Daryl stopped and glanced over his should at me. He turned around completely and starting hurrying toward me at the same pace that he had toward Carol. I turned to my right and walked to Daryl's tent, going inside just ahead of Daryl who grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him, attacking my lips with his. I cried out in shock and he grabbed a handful of my hair.
My fingers fumbled with the buttons on her gray shirt as I started undoing them. He pushed my hands away and simply ripped his shirt off of him and then ripped the buttons off of the one I was wearing. He gasped for air and put a hand to the hickey on my neck. I put my hand on top of his and leaned in to kiss him again. He pushed me back and grabbed the hem of Lori's shirt, ripping it off over my head.
He looked quizzically at the bra for a moment, and I expertly put my hands behind my back and undid the bras clasp. He lunged forward, pulling the bra off me and pushing me back against his sleeping bag. I cried out in pain, having falling on his crossbow. He grabbed the bow and arrows and pushed them off the sleeping bag and laid me more gently down, with his hand behind my head, supporting it.
Daryl kissed me tenderly, laying on top of me, and undoing the buttons and zipper of Lori's jeans and sliding them and the panties off at the same time. I kicked my legs to get the jeans and panties off my ankles and Daryl sat up, undoing his belt buckle and the button and zipper of his pants, he slid them down his thighs halfway before I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to me.
I kissed him firmly, holding the back of his back with one hand and touched his erect penis with the other. He flinched at my touch and pulled back slightly but I didn't let go of his neck and didn't end our kiss. He lowered himself down, on top of me. His penis digging into my thigh. I spread my legs under him and he put his hand between my legs.
My pulled his mouth away from mine, panting, "I've never-" he stuttered.
I put my hand on top of his pushing his hand against my warm, wet vagina. He looked down at our hands and then back at my face, I smiled at him and reached out for his penis again. I pulled it, stroking it from base to tip and he moaned.
"Inside me," I panted. We moved our hands, him putting his on either side of my head and me putting mine on his hip, guiding him into me. I raised my hips off the sleeping bags and pressed the head of his penis against the lips of my vagina. He gasped. I pulled his hips to mine with one hand and took the length of his penis inside me. We called out at the same time and he put his forehead against mine, panting heavily.
"Pull out a little," I said, my head spinning. He raised his hips, pulling out a little bit and then slammed his hips down against mine, going even deeper. We both cried out and I dug my fingernails into his lower back. I lifted my knees up on either side of his hips and he pulled out again and again slamming back inside me harder each time.
"Faster!" I cried out, on the edge of my orgasm. Daryl moaned and pumped in and out at a faster pace. I bit his shoulder as I came, trying to muffle some of the sound.
"Ah, ah, ah, Daryl!" I yelled. Daryl bucked his hips against mine, more sporadically as my muscles contracted around him. He grunted gutturally and pushed my thighs up, getting as deep inside me as possible. I yelped, surprised by how tight he was inside me and Daryl grabbed my ankles squeezing them and pushing them above my head as he came, filing me deeply with his hot semen.
Daryl ran his hand through his sweaty hair and collapsed half on top of me, half on the sleeping bag. I felt around on the floor for my sleeping bag and half heartedly pulled it over our naked bodies. Daryl pulled himself out of me and laid next to me, running his hands through my hair. I nuzzled against him, both of us panting and sweaty and closed my eyes, pretending that we could survive in this world.