Riley turned over in his bed, his stair-less dreams haunting him. He felt the cold clink of stone as he rolled over. He nuzzled his face into the smooth bluish-green shoulder of his lover. He and Goatee Man married last year. Since then, they had a blissful life, to the distaste of Abigail and Nicolas Cage. Once their eyes locked, Riley never could forget the heating in his pants. Those un-blinking stone eyes seemed to follow him as they left the treasure room. After the excavation Riley had punched some Ho in the face that laid a hand on his precious statue. With the help of Nicolas Cage, he was able to smuggle the thing out and back to his apartment. Nicolas cried that night, because he had secretly loved his assistant. Abigail was too busy doing boring document things to notice her "lovers" emotions. In fact she had a big trip to Europe coming up, to pick up some shitty piece of paper with historical importance, but it wasn't American so who cares?
Riley pulled himself up to kiss those cold lips and tickle his nose against the goatee. He reached one hand down the caress the bulge that lay directly behind the man's Shendyt. How he wished that he could simply lift that skirt up. Little did Riley know, Nicolas Cage loomed in the hallway, listening to the sound of Riley kiss that Biatch who stole him. "Curses." He murmured under his breath. There love was too pure for him to corrupt. He slunk away in the night to attend an America party.
The next day Riley went out with his husband. They got ice cream, and went to a book store to read for a while. That night Riley heard the most peculiar thing. A soft murmur had come from his husband. "Hello?" He asked aloud.
"Rrrrrrmmm." It said again. "Ryyyyee."
"You can speak!"
"Fuck yes Bbby." The Statue replied
To Be continued?