A/N: So yeah, this just really struck me, I hope you like it! I'll probably wait to post it on Ao3 in one big chunk but I'll post it in pieces here as I write it!

Sirius settled into the cushioned chair, breathing in the coffee-scented air. It wasn't the most pleasant of scents, vaguely bitter, but it was comfortingly familiar. He was ready to have his weekly coffee and relax, as he did every Tuesday.

Though he would never admit it, Monday always held an air anticipation, and on Tuesday mornings, it was far easier to pull himself out of bed. James had met him once for coffee on his weekly indulgence, but it held no interest for him. He spent the 30 minutes shooting questioning glances at Sirius, as if asking what he was supposed to do in a Muggle coffee shop.

Sirius reveled in the quiet atmosphere though, the grinding of the machines, the hushed chatter of the other patrons, and the smell that the freshly crushed beans released. He would order his latte from the mousy barista with the chipped nail polish revealing coffee-stained fingernails, who would always deliver the drink with an almost smile on her dark, painted lips.

Every time as he sat down he would scan the bookshelf for interesting titles, but he would fall into his thoughts before he could go pick up a book. James thought it was an adventure, experiencing the life of a Muggle by visiting the coffee shop, but as usual James was just a bit off. Sirius would only occasionally feel his hand twitch towards his wand to do something, but he didn't care about the difference. It was peace, it was calm, and it was predictable.

That's why he nearly dropped the mug in his hand when he turned to find someone sitting in his usual seat. Sirius quickly shrugged it off; it wasn't anything too disruptive. The man had actually picked a book from the bookshelf and was absorbed in it, brown hair falling in pieces over his eyes. Sirius sat down in a chair near the man, but not near enough that the man would look up.

He leaned back, feeling his back pop as he looked at the strange man. Sirius felt his cheeks heat up as the man smiled at the pages of his book and uncrossed his legs, letting them loll open in a way that simply shouldn't be allowed in public. When the man glanced up and met his eyes, Sirius didn't look away.

After a slow smile, the mystery man looked away and Sirius twitched uncomfortably in his seat. The clock read half past 12, which meant he'd wasted half his time on this attractive stranger. Lily had asked him what else there was to do the last time he complained of wasted coffee time. He had shrugged, his lips tightening on an answer that he didn't know yet.

Sirius returned his gaze to a spot on the wall as he sipped from his cooling mug. The latte tasted burnt as his mind helpfully supplied him with foul memories from his past. It was a roulette game of sorts, what thoughts would float through his mind in those scant 30 minutes. He was never good at metaphors and similes, so he wasn't sure exactly what everything translated to. What would the memory flood of childhood discipline and Regulus' face be in such a metaphor?

The clock read 12:45, which jolted Sirius out of unpleasant memories. The stranger was turned slightly towards him, in a way that he could've been watching Sirius. The man got up and stretched, worn clothes stretching over surprisingly well-defined muscles. Sirius cursed under his breath as his face warmed up again, and he turned away to avoid another look from the annoyingly interesting man.

He got up slowly, placing the cup on the counter with a small nod to the girl in the apron. Sirius dawdled in his steps until the man was long out of the door. While Sirius usually brushed off the perceptions of others, stalker on top of inappropriately drawn to a strange man didn't exactly sound attractive.

Outside the coffee shop, Sirius buried his hands in his pocket and let out a huff. As with every time his breath was visible, he couldn't help but watch as the white vapor floated away and faded. Sometimes when there was no one around, he would use just a bit of wandless magic to bend the exhalation into shapes.

His eyes were still focused on the dissipating white cloud when Sirius was jerked off of his course, stumbling into the alley next to him. When he straightened up and tensed, he came face to face with a pair of semi-familiar brown eyes, sparkling in a way they hadn't in the light of the coffee shop. Sirius didn't relax, just letting his mouth part as he stared at the man. Who, as it happens, was now standing quite close, close enough for Sirius to catch just a slight scent of chocolate and something else.

"What are you–"

Soft lips pressed against his, and at the feeling of a hand on his waist he felt his pulse jump. Sirius didn't have time to think though, because suddenly that tongue was slipping through his lips and stealing his breath and those hands were everywhere and those fingers were slipping inside his jacket and all he could do is kiss back.

As suddenly as the snogging session started, those lips pulled away and Sirius opened his eyes. The man looked just as breathless and flushed as Sirius felt. Sirius stumbled back wards a step, his back hitting the cold brick of the wall. He stared with his mouth parted and nearly panting.

The strange man opened his mouth; Sirius could practically hear the deliberation before he closed it again. He simply straightened his shoulders and smiled as he walked away, his eyes too sad for it to look genuine. Sirius went to call after him, but the sound never got past his lips. He was distracted by a strange buzzing feeling in his pocket.

Checking his trouser pocket, he saw that it was his wand, and the tip was vibrating and flashing green. When he first joined the ministry, they had everyone put theft-detection spells on their wands, and they clearly said the wand would glow and vibrate when someone stole from them. It was for ministry business, but it worked for daily life too.

He cursed quietly and patted his jacket pocket, finding no wallet. Sirius cursed louder, turning out of the dank alley to spot the back of that man, clad in his cheap jacket.

"Hey! Stop where you are!" Sirius said in his best "Auror" voice, tensing up and getting ready to run, his hand twitching towards his wand pocket before he remembered where he was.

Surprisingly, the man faltered in his quick stride, only taking one more step before turning around. His whole frame was tense and his shoulders were hunched up. Sirius saw for the first time the holes in those clothes and places where the fabric had worn nearly through on his elbows; shoes that looked as though they were polished repeatedly with a cloth, but still remained scuffed; and the frame that had before looked wiry now looked gaunt. His freckled face was pulled tight, the twin scars stretched across the bridge of his nose and his cheek showing a faded pink color.

"You–you stole my wallet!" Sirius cried incredulously.

"If it makes this any better, I did want to kiss you." the man retorted, hands tucked into his pockets and slight pink tint coloring his cheekbones. Sirius lost his train of thought for just a moment at the smooth voice and the words that were spoken. Blinking hard, he waved his hands as he cast about for something to say.

"But! You–you're just..." Sirius stuttered. He would never stutter under normal circumstances, but these were absolutely not normal circumstances. "Why aren't you running away?"

Sirius looked down as soon as the words left his mouth, wishing he could grab them from the air and cram them back in his stupid, stupid mouth.

"I assumed that you would catch me. People usually don't notice anything until I'm long gone." he chuckled, his voice frank.

"Oh." Sirius said, looking away and kicking at the ground with the toe of his boot.. How was he supposed to act in this kind of situation?

"Yeah."

"Can I have my wallet back?" Sirius tried. "It doesn't really have anything of use in it anyways."

"Hmm, you seem like the type with money. Nice clothes at least." he replied as he held out the beat up wallet. The conversation sounded like strange, stilted small talk.

"Thanks." Sirius said, unsure of why his face broke out in a grin. "They're all old clothes though. Most of my money is, er, foreign anyways."

The man didn't say anything right away, looking away and biting his bottom lip until it was close to bleeding. Finally, he blurted, "Are you going to call the police?"

"No. No, I don't really enjoy dealing with the police." Sirius said, brushing a stray lock if his hair back. Muggle police were often incompetent and asked far too many questions. They also didn't understand wizarding rules about butterbeer and underage individuals.

"Oh, ok then."

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Sirius clamped his lips tight, willing no more stupid things to come from his traitorous lips. His chest tightened as the man looked similarly gobsmacked.

"Another one?" he said eventually, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Sure, why not?"

Sirius wasn't familiar with the protocol on dealing with thieves, but he was pretty sure buying them coffee was not usually on.

Their dialogue was stilted. Sirius didn't expect anything else, of course, but he tried his hardest to ply the man sitting across from him, drinking hot chocolate (markedly not coffee). Along with this, he tried to forget that they had just met because he thoroughly snogged Sirius and stole his wallet. In an ideal universe, they might have started talking in the little coffee shop and things could've progressed from there. Still, Sirius made do.

"So, do you have a name?"

"Why would I give it to you?"

"Why not, I guess."

"...Remus."

"Remus? I'm sure you get a lot of 'Oh, what a unique name!' remarks."

"More than I can count. What's your name then, mystery 'too cool for the police' man?"

"Now that just hurts me, it hurts me deep."

"Mmm, still haven't answered my question."

"...Sirius. That's my name."

"Well, Sirius, I don't think you can say much about strange names then."

"Why did you try to steal my wallet?"

"Wow, you definitely don't mince words."

"I'm just wondering why."

"You didn't look like you would suffer too much from a nicked wallet. Besides, of all the people going through the shop, you were the only one I wouldn't have minded kissing."

"Bit of an unconventional method you got there. Very effective, mind."

"Yes, well, people are usually so surprised they don't notice the missing wallet. It's quite impressive you noticed so quickly, how did you?"

"Magic."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"Why would I tell you any of that?"

"I'm just a random face, it couldn't hurt anything. It's not like I'm gonna run to the police as soon as you divulge your secrets; if I was gonna do that you'd already be behind bars. Why do you steal?"

"God, I don't know why, but I do want to talk to you."

"Maybe it's just my natural aura? I'd go with your gut though, listen to what it's saying."

"...Prat. Fine, here's my mini sob story. I get...sick often, I've got an illness. It indisposes me sometimes and bosses don't take too kindly to things like that. I've never really been able to hold a job for more than a month, and I can't keep taking from my parents. So, instead, I go out and find people that seem like they have money to spare and I make them...spare it."

"Nice way to say that you steal from rich people."

"Yes, I thought so."

"My condolences I guess though, no matter how useless apologies like that are. What's this disease?"

"It's...complicated, and not very common so I doubt you'd know it. I don't really like to share it."

"Just as well, I guess I don't know much about Mu–mmm, er, illnesses."

"Why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This! Sitting in a cafe, making small talk, sharing bloody life stories and pretending that I didn't just try and rob you."

"I'm...not sure really. I guess I was curious, I've never met a thief before. Well, technically not true, but I've never met a thief that tried to steal from me before. Doesn't happen everyday, especially not during my peaceful time."

"Your peaceful time?"

"That is kind of a ridiculous name for it, now that I think about it. But yeah, the time where I sit in the coffee shop and think and pretend that the rest of my life doesn't exist."

"Is your life outside the coffee shop otherwise hectic and action-filled?"

"Yeah, crazy things like being robbed happen in my normal life."

"Is this still your peaceful time though?"

"Er, actually, I should be at work right now...hang on a sec, I'm gonna call in and let them know I haven't perished."

"I'm sure your whole workplace is tearing their hair out in panic as you idle here."

"Ha ha...Hey, James? Listen, tell the head that I won't be in today, would you?...Yes, you prat, I know you're not in the same department, but you still have a mouth...just Flo– *ahem*, go into his office and tell him. No, nothing's wrong, and I doubt a note slipped under the door will suffice...thanks a million Prongs, give the paperwork a kiss for me...and yeah, I'll explain later. Bye."

"So."

"So."

"I'm not, so you know."

"Hmm?"

"I'm not rich, so it's not a huge loss that you didn't get away with my wallet."

"Ahh, I see. You do look the part though."

"Yes, well, remnants of a past time I guess. I grew up well off so I never knew how to keep money. So, when I was kicked out into the big, bad world, I quickly blew through the inheritance my uncle left me. I have a job now, but I still have some debts to pay off, and I still should take some classes on budgeting."

"I see."

"So, there."

"I'm afraid you've lost me again."

"We're even now. You shared your sob story, so there's mine."

"You're a strange guy, you know that? ….What, do I have chocolate on my face?"

"No, you don't, just, you have a nice laugh."

"Oh. Umm, thank you."

"You're welcome."

"What kind of work are you in?"

"Top-secret information I'm afraid."

"If you tell me, will you have to kill me?"

"Hey, you're the dangerous thief here."

"I try to rob you blind one time, and then you have to bring it up again. Forgive and forget! Honestly, men."

"Sorry babe, I'm just the type to hold petty grudges over silly things."

"Oh look at that, you made me spill my hot chocolate! Stop smiling arse, you're the one buying me another one."

"I don't really mind."

"Good. Now, what was I saying? Oh yes, work."

"Just some government stuff, nothing as harrowing as you might imagine."

"Should I still be worried about you arresting me?"

"You have discovered my evil plan, buying you enough hot chocolate to lure you into a false sense of security, and then jumping over the table and slapping the cuffs on."

"Should've known, even the hot chocolate tastes strange now. Probably laced with something."

"No comment."

"We've been here for three hours now."

"Really? I've just been measuring the time in hot chocolates."

"Do you want to go back to my place for lunch or...something?"

"...You'd let a stranger, who's also a thief, into your flat?"

"Well, there's not really much to steal, and if you attacked me I figure I could take you."

"You'd be surprised."

"I hope to be."

"...Fine, if you stop grinning at me like that. What harm could it do, other than you being a murderer and perhaps chopping me up into little bits as soon as we're alone."

"Exactly, look on the bright side!"

"You know, this is probably the weirdest thing I've ever done."

"You know what Remus? Me too."