Crowds had once been the bane of my existence, now they were more than just a slight nuisance that tugged at the back of my head. Why had I come here to begin with, what could I have possible attained from this 'reunion' after all this time apart from them? My ex-team, my ex-friends, ex-rivals and ex-enemies, they all greeted me with the same warm smiles, acting as if the ten years apart did nothing to any of us. Half of us were married, had children and were now stuck behind a stuffy desk to support said spouse and child.
Regardless of my reasoning's for coming, I was still here in this too brightly lit ballroom. Trying to smile back and enjoy the small banters the other person could conjure up, all the while my too ever faithful wife hung off my arm, wine glass held in the other. It was the usual formal stiffed tie and overly priced ball gown of bodies that crammed into the ballroom, some of those bodies splayed out into little groups or tables, others enjoying a waltz in the middle.
Somehow during the night, after dinner and more useless banter, I found myself just starring out at the dance floor, minus one wife hanging on my arm. Watching how the married ones danced and looked to be on a whole other level of happiness, one I would never know. I married because it was my duty to marry, it was placed upon my shoulders without my consent.
As my eyes scanned around the room large ballroom, still able to hear the idle chatter resonating off the walls our eyes met across the dance floor. I could feel my heart leap into my chest the way our eyes met, so far away and yet so close. We smiled to each other and with a nod of the head, he hadn't changed much in these past ten years, if anything he had only become more handsome, if that was possible.
Slowly we peeled our backs from the walls we had been leaning against, meeting just in the middle of the dance floor. It was like we had been tugged together, closer, by an invisible wire. Now we were just standing amongst the mix of twirling and dancing bodies to the slow drum of music, though I could hear my heartbeat in my ears rather clearly.
Once again that same invisible wire pulled us at the same time, holding our hands out to the other as our eyes never wavered from the others. Did I really miss him that much, miss the way his lips smiled to me and noticing that I too was smiling back? Our hands clamped together, the other going around each other's waist. He was warm, and smelt a bit of champagne as his breath brushed against my face. Being the same height had its advantages and disadvantages, and now we could feel the eyes on us, but we didn't look away from each other as we guided each other across the dance floor.
It was a surreal moment, to feel the bliss I had seen on the other's faces that I now held dear. I held onto it as tight as I could, afraid to let go as we moved in perfect sync, like we always had. The music changed, slower and calmer and our movements reflected that tune. His eyes glinted with humor and he bit back a laugh, I had to do the same and we both gripped the other's lower back a bit tighter.
Why had we given this up, why did we part the way we did when we could have had this? Those thoughts vanished the second our heads rested on the other's shoulder, breathing in the special scent I know we both had missed. Once again eyes were on us, but we didn't pull away as it felt we were the only two out there now. I wish we had been, I wish we could have just ran away.
Reality, life, came crumbling back to us the second the music stopped, and we pulled away. This wasn't permanent, we were never permanent. That was made clear a long time ago, but it still hurt all the same as it had those many years ago. We had wives, had children to return to, but seeing that momentary bliss reflect in his eyes was well worth coming here tonight.
Like a cold splash of water that hits you in the face when waking up, our wives came to our sides. Obviously dis-pleased with how we acted, how we may have looked out here even if it was for only a short time. How I wish it could have gone longer, but we both knew we wouldn't breach that line again. With another slight curt nod to the other we parted, taken by our arms by our wives to now dance with them.
To only dance with them, never with the other as much as we may have protested against it. Our souls may have been screaming at us to turn around and run, but we didn't. As the night dragged on we only made due with stolen looks, stolen smiles, and that cracked us further. How much more could we crack though, how much more of this silent torment were we supposed to endure? Midnight would soon be upon us and the torment would end, if only ever slightly.
We did share a parting kiss, albeit quick and in the men's bathroom away from the crowd. We did slip with the words of 'I miss you', 'I love you', 'for old times sake'. That was it though and with that we left, our wives none the wiser clinging to our arms as we parted for the final and last time.
I had to remind myself that this night wasn't permanent, that this was my life with my wife clung to my arm and our child waiting back home for us. Just as his life was calling out to him, our stuffy desks waiting and ready come morning. My life, my lie, the one I was all too unhappy to live through.
I told myself that I was happy in the lie I lived, but I would never forget this night.
A bit of drabble I had in my head, I made it so you could read it in either Kai or Ray's point of view. One shot, just needed to get it out there.