"Oh God Q, cry me a river, really." Santana rolled her eyes. Quinn bristled. "I get it already! You want to wrangle your baby daddy, but I got some news for you chica. The only way Puck is ever gone be tamed is if Broadway opens her eyes and realizes her unrequited love is not so unrequited." Santana snickered.
"I didn't even know that you knew four syllable words." Quinn snarked. Santana raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I do. I just prefer to use words like…sore loser….or, just sad…." Santana gave her a pointed look. Quinn spun around and stalked away.
Santana snorted, heading toward the brunette on Chang's arm.
"Rach, you know I love you, but I seriously cannot stand debating the merits of making your Broadway debut as Maria of West Side Story or Laurie of Oklahoma." Mike mimed snoring. Rachel sighed.
"I understand. Not everyone can understand Broadway quite like I do." She admitted, "It's okay, I can have this conversation with Kurt." She said with a smile. Mike nodded, dropping her off at her locker. He glanced behind her.
"Yo Ray, Santana the Shark is on the prowl and it looks like she's coming this way." Mike stage-whispered, loud enough for the Latina to here. Santana rolled her eyes, stepping in front of Mike in the center of Rachel's vision.
"Berry, do you dig my boy Puckerman?" Santana asked, point blank. Rachel's eyes widened, before she schooled her expression.
"Why, of course I do Santana. He and I share similar religious views and in a school with so little Jewish touch, it is important to share-"
"Oh shut up!" Santana groaned, exasperated. "I mean, do you want to fuck him?" Rachel's face heated up, but she frowned.
"Santana! That is a horrible thing to say! Using vulgar language makes people believe-"
"Oh my god! Berry! Yes or no? Do you want to get your sweet Jew love on with Puck or not?" Santana growled.
"Yeah, she does." Mike piped in.
"Michael!" Rachel hissed. Santana nodded at him, offering him a quick quirk of the lips.
"Thanks Other Asian." Santana walked off, swaying her hips just because she could.
"Yes Rachel?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow. She just continued to glare at him. He laughed. "Oh come on! It's Santana! She wouldn't have left until she got that answer, whether you said it or I did!" he pointed out. Rachel huffed, closing her locker and heading down the hall.
"Oh come on!" Mike whined, "Baby come back! You can blame it all on me! There is something….I don't know the rest of the lyrics, but BABY COME BACK! YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME!" he yelled down the hall, jogging to catch up to her.
"Puckerman! Let's do it!" Santana grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulling him into a kiss. Puck growled, pushing her back.
"Santana! What are you doing?" Puck glared at her.
"Oh come on. We always have sex. Give me a reason why not." She said pointedly. Puck narrowed his eyes at her.
"What is it you want from me Satan?" he questioned warily. Santana blinked innocently, not fooling him in the slightest.
"I want sex. But if you have an objection…." She trailed off, giving him a look.
"What?" Puck asked, shaking his head. "I don't get it Santana."
"God you're thick." Santana sighed, "Do you got feels for the loser known as Man Hands?"
"Don't call her that!" Puck snapped and Santana nodded.
"Okay then, I got my answer." She exited the locker room where she had cornered him, plan already formulating in her head.
"Crap..." Puck knew her too well, and was now sufficiently freaked out.
"Berry, if you don't tell Puckerman you want to have his Jewish babies, then I will."
"Santana, Puck doesn't feel that way about me and I simply cannot embarrass myself-"
"Shut up."
"Puckerman, if you don't tell Berry you want to dance the horizontal tango with her, then I will."
"Lopez! What the hell! I'm perfectly happy staring at her skirt in glee, instead of letting her pity me with big doe brown eyes. I am not going-"
"Shut up."
"You won't actually do it, will you?" Mike questioned. Santana rolled her eyes.
"Of course not. I'm not their messaging system. I'm just annoyed with the lovesick sighs and googly eyes." Santana assured him.
"Ah, I see." He nodded.
"Listen Man Hands. I heard about your feelings." Quinn cornered Rachel after glee. Rachel turned around.
"Quinn." Rachel said shortly. "What about my feelings?" she questioned politely. Quinn smirked.
"You actually think that Puck could like you?" Rachel's blood turned to ice. She expected something about Finn, maybe even Jesse, not Puck. "Please, not only would you murder his reputation, but the only reason he would ever consider going out with you was to get you into bed or please his Mom. He would never have real feelings for you. Not like the feelings he has for me."
"I agree. I would never have the same feelings I have for you, for Rachel. Because you're a bitch." Puck appeared and both girls jumped. "I don't think you have a say on my feelings Quinn." He growled.
"Puck-" Quinn attempted, but was cut off.
"Don't. Go!" he snapped, pointing out of the room. Quinn threw Rachel one more dirty look, before scurrying out of the room. Puck sighed, while Rachel beamed at him. "I guess you talked to Santana then?" Rachel laughed.
"As a matter of fact, I have. She has been shockingly talkative to me the last few days." Rachel shared. Puck groaned.
"Shit. Rache. Ignore her. Listen, it's cool. We can be friends just fine. You don't have to worry about me. I can deal with you not being into me, just don't pity me, ok?" Puck nearly begged. Rachel gaped at him.
"What?" she asked breathlessly. Puck frowned at her for a moment, before his eyes widened.
"Double shit! Santana didn't say anything to you, did she?" he questioned rhethorically. Rachel managed to shake her head. "Craaaaap." He groaned, "Okay. Rachel, I like you, like…have a crush on you." His nose wrinkled at the term, but he continued, "And I know you only think I'm like…your annoying and vulgar older brother, but-mfft!"
Rachel threw her arms around his neck and kissed him senseless.
"Yeah, I did that." Santana nodded into the glee room and Mike next to her chuckled.
R & R. I feel like they are way out of character. Eh, I don't like it, but check it out.