Chapter One

It has been just over a week since the Hyde incident and the atmosphere between me and Christian has changed, he has become distant and cold, back to CEO mode. I wonder briefly if it has anything to do with the past few weeks, I can tell his holding back his true feelings about our child, his childhood and Hyde but after my revelation of not becoming a 'nagging wife' I decide that he will tell me in his own time.

Christian is held up in his study, brooding I suspect. He has not eaten dinner with me since the last time we were in the playroom and even then I knew something was occupying his mind. He has become somewhat callous towards me but I have no idea why, was it the information given by Carrick and Grace finally sinking in, our child or the Hyde incident. Christian said that he couldn't bear to touch me after seeing the bruises and marks left by Hyde, is he buying time until they fade? I know he saw them while in the playroom but i never thought they would hurt him like this.

Although regardless of how he is feeling, I'm starting to feel alone, I can only compare feeling this way when Christian walked out on me when I told him I was pregnant. I'm starting to think maybe he does not love me and just trying to do the right thing. I can barely take any more of his sulking and I've got my little blip to think about now. He has distanced himself from me in this ivory tower and I just can't articulate how mercurial that was. Surely he should not be taking this out on me when I have done nothing wrong, I don't recall crossing any arbitrary line. When I was in hospital he was so sincere and compassionate but that has quickly changed. My feelings are shot, my mind is heavy with the fog and clutter of fifties and my own issues. Surely he cannot carry this out much longer. In that moment i set out to find him hoping we could work whatever this is out, I just can't stand anymore of this petulant nonsense.

I locate him in his study, he is standing in front of his window staring at the grey clouds floating into the night sky. I notice that he is on his phone as I stand on the threshold of his study. I focus in on his conversation "Ros, how's the situation on Lincoln Timber...And the board...

...What about our current shares...

Good they've been liquidated...

...And Linc? ….Good...No that's fine he can pick up the pieces of whatever he has left...Yes...Good Night."

As he turns around he notices me, takes a sip of his overly filled glass of brandy and sits on the edge of his desk, never taking his eyes off me

"Anastasia"

My scalp prickles at his cold greeting "Hi" I whisper softly.

He is obviously not to be argued with at this moment. I notice his eyes widen, grey eyes storming.

"What do you need?" Oh shit! Something is definitely off with him, his demeanour is not one of a caring husband. The time ticks by as I am momentarily thrown by him

"Are you coming to bed?"

"No, Later" he states as a matter of fact

Oh jeez, the energy in the room is tight and tensed and quite frankly it intimidates me.

"Okay" I murmur and turn slowly exiting his study.

I stalk towards the library suddenly overwhelmed and hurt, how can he be so... Closed off. I've only ever seen him this angry on few occasions and if I'm being honest to myself moments like this make me want to run for hills and never look back. I knew marrying him that my life would be forever challenging but his mood swings are taking their toll and my hurt feelings are slowly becoming larger than my love for him. Fifty shades, remember? My subconscious chimes in as I shake my head at her unneeded quip, rubbing salt in the wound i think to myself. If we could only have a normal week, without interruptions or arguments. Shaking my head again I decide that the comfort of a book is needed and settle on Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, oh how fitting I think briefly to myself. I curl up in the armchair in my green camisole I bought in Georgia and sweatpants, forgetting about the troubles and obstacles that await me tomorrow.