A/N: I'm not abandoning Bystander.. just.. this sort of popped into my head.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.. nothing! *weeps*

Warnings: Cursing

He shut off the shower just as the front door of the apartment slammed. Frowning, he reached for the towel that had been left for him, straining to hear what the commotion was about. He squeezed water from his long hair, rubbing the fluffy, green towel over his locks. Satisfied that he would not drip too much on the floor, he wrapped the damp towel around his waist and crept to the closed door. Turning the knob, he cracked the door open and listened to the rapidly rising voices coming from the direction of the kitchen.

"Who is she?" a shrill, female voice demanded.

"I am afraid I do not know who you are referring to, my beautiful cherry blossom," a male calmly replied.

"Oh, please, Lee. Spare me the bullshit! Ino and Tenten saw you leave last night with some long haired 'beauty', as they called her. So who is she?"

"There is no 'she', Sakura," Lee tried to explain. "They are mistaken-"

"Are you calling my friends liars, Lee? How dare you!"

"I'm not calling them any-"

"They've been better friends than you have lately, anyway! I don't know what your problem is, but I demand to know what little skank-"

"Skank?" Lee's voice cracked.

"-been spending time with, and I want to know who she is!" A thunderous bang punctuated the female's words, indicating that one of them had just hit something solid, like the table or a wall. Neji shifted, wondering if he should announce himself and put the argument to rest. He opened the door wider, but Lee's next words stopped him cold.

"And what business is it of yours, Sakura?" the male queried, venom clear in his tone. "Why are you concerned with who I spend my time with? It's not like you want me to spend my time with you." A pause, then he added, as if talking to himself, "Or are you jealous? Now that I have found someone to share the springtime of my youth with, you can't stand it, can you?"

Sakura scoffed. "Don't be ridic-" Taking that as his cue, Neji exited the bathroom and padded into the kitchen.

He crept up behind the seated male, appraising the Lee's mood with his eyes. Pointedly ignoring the strawberry blonde woman and her horrified, frozen look, he draped a damp arm over the other man's shoulder and leaned forward to speak into his ear.

"I'm done with my shower," he said seductively, making sure that the woman heard every word. "I really enjoyed myself last night. Do you have any coffee, or is there something else you'd prefer for breakfast?" Neji felt Lee shiver slightly as a blush crept across his cheeks.

Lee struggled to answer coherently. "I - uh - that is - coffee - Tea! I have tea! I prefer a refreshing cup of green tea before I take my daily jog."

Neji smirked. "If you tell me what you want, I'll give it to you." Straightening, he made sure to remove his arm agonizingly slow. "Where are the tea things? I can make it for you."

"Th-thanks, Neji," Lee choked out and pointed to a cabinet.

"Hn." Neji let his eyes drift toward the woman named Sakura. "Oh, hello. My apologies. I failed to realize that we had company." He narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"

Sakura sputtered, "You've got some nerve, you bastard, questioning me! I'm Lee's friend; you're just some stranger he met last night." She folded her arms and asked hotly, "Who the hell are you?"

"My name is Neji Hyuuga," Neji answered with a bow, "and I am Lee's lover." He moved toward the cabinet his friend had indicted and began removing the items he would need to brew a pot of tea.

"Lover?" the woman squeaked, her face going as red as her hair. Then, she cried in an even shriller tone, "HYUUGA? Byakugan Enterprises Hyuuga? What the hell are you doing with Lee?"

Neji smirked. "That," he stated, "is my business." He placed the kettle - green - underneath the faucet in the sink and filled it with cold water. Turning toward the stove, he asked the woman, "Will you be staying for breakfast?"

Shaken, the pale female shook her head wildly. "N-no. Uh, Lee. Sorry to have disturbed you. I'll call you later. Mr. Hyuuga," she nodded toward Neji as she ran for the front door.

Lee waited several moments after the woman left before speaking. "Neji, my friend, why did you tell her that?"

"She was annoying me," the man named Hyuuga responded. "And she sounded to be annoying you, as well. Was I in the wrong, Lee? Should I not have chased her off?"

Lee sighed. "It is fine, my oldest and dearest friend, but what will she say when she finds out the truth? That we are merely former classmates and old friends?"

"Who says we have to tell her?" Neji was beginning to get irritated, as evidenced by the way he was slamming mugs on the marble countertop and ripping open the box of tea bags.

"She will find out sooner rather than later, Neji. You are a Hyuuga; your name and life mean very much to this town. Why, your affairs are practically front page news!"

"My name and my exploits, but not my face. Dammit!" he swore. "I should have thought before I blurted out my name that way." He spun to face his friend. "Tell me, Lee. Is she the gossipy type?"

Lee hesitated, and choose his words carefully. "I am reluctant to label her as such, though she does always seem to know what the popular opinions are around Konoha."

As the kettle whistled, Neji made a decision. "Well, Lee, there's only one thing to do." He switched off the heat to make the kettle cease its strangled singing and regarded his friend carefully. "You are just going to have to become my lover."

Lee shot out of his chair like a bullet. "You must have injured your head far more than I imagined, my brutal buddy."

"Yes, I hit my head," Neji said, rubbing the sore spot on his skull, "but-"

Lee smacked his right fist into his left palm and shouted, "I knew it! For a second there, you almost had me convinced you were serious." He frowned through the messy mop of dark hair that half covered his eyes. "Perhaps you should be sitting down, then?"

"Lee!" Neji snapped. "I'm fine. And I am serious! What better way to get her to notice you and get the elders off my back about marrying? This could work, Lee. All we have to do is try it."

"Neji," Lee said, sinking back into his chair, "you know I am not adverse to the beautiful love between two men. However, you are my friend! My oldest and dearest one! I can not taint our youthful connection with this false carnality!"

"We're just pretending," Neji reassured his friend as he poured boiling water over tea bags and sugar cubes. "What can possibly go wrong?"

"Everything!" Sakura snarled into phone. "Everything is all wrong!" She punched the horn as she sped down the highway, forcing people to swerve out of her way to avoid being rammed by her truck. "Pig, help me!"

"Look, Billiard Brow," came Ino's soothing voice, "you're overthinking things. Besides, I didn't even think you liked Lee that way."

"I don't," Sakura shouted. "I don't but..something about this whole thing bothers me. I feel so weirded out. I mean, you should have seen him, Ino. He walked into that kitchen like he owned it, wearing only one of those hideous green towels Lee has. Can you imagine?"

"A towel, eh?" Ino mused. "Is he hot?"

"Who, Lee?" Sakura asked blankly as she punched her horn again.

"No! Focus, you big headed twit! Neji Hyuuga! Is Neji hot? I mean, I swore that was a woman, and thought 'yeah, she's pretty', but now that I know it was Neji Hyuuga, I wanna know all the details." Ino snorted. "I can't believe our Lee landed a Hyuuga!"

"That's what I'm saying, you pig! It's much too good to be true. There's something else going on. There has to be!" She signaled her intent to exit the highway and zoomed down the ramp, taking the curve much too fast. She slowed to a stop as the traffic light turned red. "I'm almost to your house, okay? Are you dressed?"

"I am," Ino said playfully.

"Tell your lazy ass boyfriend to get dressed, too. I don't need anymore surprises today."

"Fine, whatever," Ino sighed. "Hey, Shikamaru! Sakura doesn't wanna see your sexy, naked ass today. Put some pants on!"

"Troublesome woman," a sleepy male voice floated over the line before the call was disconnected.

Continue? Yes? No? Let me know!

Fixed my typos. Sorry about that.