The Apocalypse and Walter

A/N: This is just a little drabbley thing that fell out of my fingers after too much coffee and too little sleep. A silly little take on the inner mind workings of our favorite SGC sergeant.

Enjoy!

Walter strolled idly down the familiar concrete halls, enjoying the lack of personnel the graveyard shift always brought about. Sometimes, when he and Siler were on the same skeleton crew, they would run up and down the halls with intars reenacting scenes from their favorite movies. And, on really special occasions, Siler would "run diagnostics" on the base camera system—which, of course, meant absolutely no recording was possible—and they would reenact pilfered mission reports.

Their favorites were SG-1's. Whenever they managed to get their hands on a particularly action-packed one, they would pick a member, read that report, then act as that person for the rest of the night. Siler was usually Teal'c and Walter chose Daniel, except for that one really awkward time they got their wires crossed and Siler chose the colonel and Walter took Major Carter…

Let's just say they'd had to avoid each other for the next few weeks.

Checking the board, Walter saw that tonight was unusual in more ways than one. Siler wasn't scheduled to come in until 0500, much later than usual. And the second odd thing was that it looked like Colonel O'Neill had taken over the night shift. Most normal nights, the highest ranking officer on base was Major Carter and sometimes Colonel Reynolds.

As Walter meandered his way to the control room, thoughts occupied by the various oddities the night seemed to be bringing, he didn't immediately notice the two people at the other end of the hall. A low murmur finally brought him out of his thoughts and Walter froz;, the spitting image of a deer in the headlights.

Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were standing outside of the briefing room, speaking in low tones. Walter did a half turn, looking for an escape route. None. Just long, solid concrete…great.

"It just, well, it doesn't seem possible." Major Carter's voice sounded incredulous. Walter's eyes flicked from colonel to major as he stood immobile in the middle of the hallway. Maybe they wouldn't notice him if he just stayed still.

"I didn't expect it. Not yet, anyway." Colonel O'Neill's voice was pitched low, an undercurrent of surprise just barely audible.

Suddenly, the words and their delivery caught up with Walter and he almost—almost—whimpered. Something was wrong, Major Carter was never surprised! And Colonel O'Neill never underestimated an enemy…for someone to have pulled the wool over their eyes…

"Do you think anybody else knows?" Walter's eyes widened at the major's response. Well, he knew now too…sort of.

"No, I just got word a few minutes ago. I was going to come find you, but…" He trailed, his hand rolling in a forward motion.

"But I found you first." The major moved slightly and if Walter didn't know better, he'd say that that was a distinct fidget. And Major Carter just didn't fidget.

That was almost enough to convince Walter that something was cataclysmically, earth-shatteringly wrong.

"So." The word hung between the two officers—and Walter.

"Sir, I-," But the rest of Major Carter's words were muffled when Colonel O'Neill reached forward and pulled her against his chest. Settling his arms around her in a tight embrace, Walter watched in horror as Major Carter returned the hug, fingers digging into the colonel's back.

That did it.

That broke the spell.

Absolutely positive now that the world was ending—probably in the next few minutes—Walter turned and ran. Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter simply did not do that. If..if they were doing that…well, Earth had finally come up against a foe that could not be beaten. Only in the face of imminent death would the colonel and the major so blatantly put their feelings on display for all—Walter—to see.

Running faster than he'd ever run in his life, Walter grabbed for the first phone he could find. He had to call Siler. Figures, the one time he wasn't here was the time the world was going to end. 'Come on, man, pick up, there are so many things I have to say…!'

…..

Hearing the pounding footsteps, Sam pulled away from her commanding officer and looked around, trying to locate the sound. "Don't worry about it." She turned back to Jack, his face only inches from her own and an amused smirk playing across his lips. When she raised an eyebrow, he shrugged. "Walter just went tearing down the hall thataway."

"Walter? Why?" Sam looked in the indicated direction, only half-surprised that a cloud of dust hadn't been left in his wake.

"Who knows? He's always been a little strange." Shrugging again, Jack refocused all of his attention on the woman in front of him. "C'mere."

Sam didn't need telling twice. Letting herself be pulled back into his embrace, their lips met with everything just short of actual fireworks. As they lost themselves in the feel of each other's skin, only one thing kept running through Sam's mind. The frat regs have been disbanded…the frat regs have been disbanded…Daniel is never going to shut up about this…

END

A/N: No one ask. Seriously. Not a clue where this came from.