"You frog! What is the meaning of this!?" Arthur practically storms into France's office and slams the French magazine down on his desk.
Francis sighs and idly adjusts his cuffs, "Arthur, mon amour, I know you cannot resist my company, but you really should not barge in so rudely. What if I had been having an important meeting with my boss…" his words die as he sees the magazine. "Ah, I see. That is the problem?"
"Don't be so bloody calm about it, git!" Arthur jabs a finger at the page, where the Duchess of Cambridge is spread across glossy pages, in full uncovered glory. Below, the caption reads in large letters, "OH MY GOD! LES PHOTOS QUI VONT FAIRE LE TOUR DU MONDE"
Francis only shrugs. "She is showing l'amour to her husband, is that so wrong?"
"When published in a sleazy French tabloid for the entire world to see? Yes!" Arthur retorts heatedly. He buries his face in his hands and groans, "A month, I take a month off to visit you and this happens!''
"Mon cher, it is no fault of mine that your royals seems to enjoy gallivanting about sans leurs vêtements." Francis replies smoothly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur's voice is still sharp.
"The world had not forgotten the escapade of ton petit prince. Harry, was it not?" Francis chuckles darkly, "I suppose what happens in Vegas does not always stay in Vegas,"
"Show some respect, frog! The lad's in Afghanistan now. But this," Arthur points to the tabloid, "I don't know how, but this is your doing!"
Francis inspects the photos closer. "Well, I suppose she does have a rather lovely pair of—"
Arthur smacks him across the face with the magazine, effectively cutting off the rest of the Frenchman's words. "I don't care how, fix this or no sex tonight," he threatens lowly, and turns abruptly on his heel.
Francis is scrambling to make calls before the door can even slam shut.
—-
AN: Lol, what is this? IDEK, but I saw the news today and just couldn't resist. No offense to anyone, just a silly little drabble.