Red Desert – Lisbon's Report

Another collaborative story, by lgmtreader and kathiann

Summary: This is the story of Lisbon making her official events report for the events as described in Red Desert.

AN: This is the story from Red Desert, told from Lisbon's POV as if she were writing it up for a formal trip report (well, at least at first!). It is of course in many places going to be rather silly (who would ever put such a thing in a report?) but also terser and drier because it's a report, and perhaps not always the same or have the same details as Red Desert because it's her POV, rather than mainly Jane's as in Red Desert. (On the other hand, it will probably have more details than one would ever really put into a report!) It will also have less dialogue. However, it will still be rated M. Keep in mind that it is not actually lgmtreader writing this, but Lisbon; she just asked me to post this here for her!

As with Red Desert, this really is a collaboration between kathiann and myself, because it is based so strongly on Red Desert; and though I did all the channeling of Lisbon, kathiann made several incisive comments keeping me (and Lisbon) on the straight and narrow where needed.

There will be fewer chapters in this story than the main story Red Desert; however chapter breaks do not line up exactly with Red Desert's chapter breaks.

Warning: Rated M for a reason, please read Red Desert posted by kathiann for why.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the CBS show The Mentalist.

Spoilers: None, really. Characters slightly OOC.

Chapter 1: Afternoon/First evening

Lisbon was in her office, busy finishing up the official trip report for their latest case. Most of the report was already finished, but she just had to write the part encompassing the final couple days, when she and Jane had been on their own…

******

Consultant Patrick Jane (Jane, hereafter) and I were returning from the case separately from the rest of the SCU team, as we had taken two cars out to the case site. On this occasion we were using Jane's car, which is not a typical occurrence.

Five miles past the small town of Speed Bump, the car broke down, late in the afternoon. No cell phone service was available to call for roadside assistance. Therefore, we walked back in to town, where luckily there was both a mechanic and a motel. We secured the last room available at the motel (the only one in town), I called to inform the team of the situation and that we were likely delayed one if not two days, because it was probably too late to get the car, get it fixed, and resume the trip that day.

We then went to the mechanic's shop, where we were told that the tow truck would not be available until the next day; however they promised to get on it as soon as possible. Jane gave the mechanic his key to facilitate them retrieving the car and working on it.

It being extremely hot, I went to a local store and bought a swimsuit, and returned to the motel to cool off in the pool. Jane wandered around the town awhile then came and joined me at the pool. For some reason he looked a little nonplussed when he saw me; I guess the sight of his boss in a hot red bikini threw him for a loop.

Jane, having no swimwear either, quickly went and bought 1980s style swim trunks with big flowers that were just a tad too big for him – they kept looking like they would slip off his slim hips at any moment, and looked ridiculous on him. He joined me swimming laps in the pool until some of the other guests, specifically, a bunch of kids, came to the pool. Since the pool was so small, we gave up our lap swimming and instead joined the children in tossing about some of their beach balls and other water toys. The game got a little intense and at one point I fell into Jane with full body contact. After regaining my balance I disentangled myself from Jane, but was amused to see another brief look of confusion on his face. I must admit that the sensation of falling into him was not altogether unpleasant.

As it was time for dinner, I suggested that we go and check out the local diner. Jane graciously offered to pick up the tab and not charge it to the CBI, due to the fact that it was his car that had broken down. Though this was not necessary, I agreed. We went to the room and changed. As I came out of the bathroom, again Jane was momentarily flustered, for no good reason that I could see. But he seemed to be trying to be on his best behavior, so I ignored it. His casual version of his normal "uniform" was surprisingly attractive on him.

We had cheeseburgers and fries for dinner. (They were good fries, by the way; I recommend them to anyone else in the CBI who needs to stay in this town.)

Jane questioned the waitress about what was available locally to do, as we knew we would have at least one evening and one day to spend in this area. We had already learned from the motel clerk that it was hunting season and actually quite a popular place for hunters to come. Moreover, they often brought their wives with them; that was why the motel was almost completely full when we arrived. The waitress told us that the next closest town was 30 miles away, but that it did have a movie theater. That of course would not work for that night with no car, but might for the next if the car weren't ready in time to return the next afternoon. Also, we learned that because of the remoteness of the area, and corresponding lack of city lights, the view of the stars at night was pretty spectacular.

Jane at this point was acting very strangely – even to the point of suggesting either walking 30 miles or going out star-gazing… However, I had no plans to encourage him in these inappropriate activities (and had no plans to walk 30 miles each way through the desert at night in any case), and so reminded him that we had a perfectly functioning TV in the motel room.

We headed back to the room. However, while the TV functioned, there was a shortage of watchable programming available. Since the room was still warm from the heat of the day, Jane suggested we go back to the pool while it cooled down. We changed and went back; I resumed swimming laps and Jane went straight to the hot tub for unknown reasons – if he was trying to cool down, why go into hot water immediately?

After a good number of laps, I decided to join him in the bubbling hot tub. He had his eyes closed. As I got in, my hand accidentally brushed against his thigh. He seemed to jump a mile high, and I must say, I felt a bit of an electric connection, too. The close quarters we'd been in all afternoon and evening, and the weariness from the 5-mile walk in the heat, were starting to affect me. I scooted next to him so that there would be room for other people, and we wound up stargazing anyway. The waitress had been right; the stars were beautiful. I relaxed in the heat of the frothing water, and realized that perhaps this unforeseen interruption to our plans was a good thing for our stress levels (high from the recently solved case).

Suddenly, Jane turned to face me. I couldn't quite read him, but a thrill from an unknown source ran through my body. He started to slowly lean in toward me, and I realized he was about to kiss me. I do not know whether it was the relaxation of the water, or the realization of the very virile man next to me, or what, but I realized that I was not strenuously opposed to such an action at that juncture. Therefore, I did not move away as my head told me to. I relaxed further, anticipating the first contact, when the children from earlier suddenly and loudly rejoined us in the pool area, and we sprang apart like necking teenagers caught by their parents. Ah well, it was not meant to be. I decided to go back to the room, but before going, I gave his thigh a little squeeze, just to let him know that it was all OK. He said he would join me after a few more minutes, claiming his legs were still sore from our long walk earlier.

I went back to the room and got dressed in my pajamas; a few minutes later I had to let Jane in because we only had one key for the room. Jane was acting strangely again; he grabbed his bag and practically ran into the bathroom. Surely he's seen women in pajamas before. I watched TV while he took a shower and then came out topless but with his dress pants on. When questioned he said he had no pajamas, therefore he would wear his dress pants so as to avoid any hint of impropriety. I assured him I trusted him to behave properly around me. Of course, with him still showing off his nicely toned torso, I was beginning to think that I could not assure him of the same.

He lay down on the opposite side of the bed, under the covers, with his back to me, and so close to the edge I thought sure he'd fall off during the night. Thankfully, he fell asleep; he usually has insomnia especially in strange places, which is good neither for him nor for the person he sometimes has to share a room with. I finally turned off the TV and got under the covers on my side of the bed.