The Legend of Rape
Chapter 1: Prophecy of Rape
A/N: Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter makes an appearance, but if you don't know who that is, oh well.
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Link decided to pay a visit to a fortune teller, since his wallet was full and he really needed to empty it out a bit. It was a shame he didn't happen to be in Majora's Mask at the moment, cuz then he could deposit his money in a bank account that defied the laws of time.
"Why hello thar!" the Seer said, taking a swig from a bottle of cooking sherry AKA red potion. Link sat down at the table and the woman focused her bug eyes on the crystal ball before her. She made some dramatic hand movements and then gasped.
"……..?!"
"Yes, dear, I see! You will, um, face a great enemy! And you will die of…" the woman suddenly slumped in her chair, and her voice grew deep and gravelly.
"It will happen tonight."
"……………..?!!"
"When darkness falls, you will be haunted by sexually frustrated preternatural beings…"
The possessed woman suddenly grabbed hold of Link by his bangs and stared into his wide eyes.
"Link, you gone be raped!"
The woman went back to her chair and fell asleep, snoring loudly. Link stole the woman's red potion and snuck off…but no amount of red potion would save him from his fate…