The Break Up

Hi everyone, I am back with another twilight one, hope you all enjoy it. It picks up from after James attack on Bella and Edward breaks up with her, but does not move away.

As usual, these are not my characters, even though would love to have Edward :-), but he belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like playing in her world.

Enjoy

Sirius xox

Chapter 1

Bella's POV

The pain was incredible. Unbearably incredible. When he broke up with me, I thought I was going to die, but that would have been the easy way out. No. I had to live just to see him everyday, every single day and know I couldn't talk to him, touch him or look at him. He made it very clear where he stood with his feelings towards me.

He didn't want me, I mean how stupid was I to think that someone as exquisite as Edward Cullen could want someone as plain and boring and well to be completely honest, as clumsy and high maintenance as me, plain ol' Bella Swan. High maintenance probably wasn't the right word but since he was constantly having to save my life and such, it fit into that category.

It has been 3 months since we broke up and the pain is still there. He comes to school on those days that the weather permits and acts as if I don't exist. How he could do that, I have no idea? But he does. I wish I had his strength and tenacity. The hardest part was he managed to remove me from every part of his life as if I had never existed. That hurt the most.

I tried extremely hard in those first few weeks, I wrote him letters which were returned to me unopened. I tried to call him but every call was rejected. Rejected, exactly the way I felt. I tried to talk to him at school and he was hostile, it actually scared me.

One Saturday out of desperation, I went to his house. I couldn't really remember the complicated turns but as luck, and patience, would have it, I made it there in two hours. I know it never took us that long before, even in my old truck. I cautiously stepped out of my truck and slowly made my way to the door. I had absolutely no idea of what I was going to say or do, I was winging it. Everything happened so fast, it took me a while to process what happened. I heard a growl, a low deep growl. The one Edward used when fighting off James, whom I may add is the whole cause of this. Anyway, I digress, I heard the growl and turned to see Edward in full prowl position coming from the forest. He was staring at me with a look I thought I would never see on him. From the corner of my eye I saw another streak above my head and then realised Edward was on top of Emmett. It was a battle. It reminded me of the time when Edward had to push Jasper away from me, but this was worse.

I was frozen with fear.

All I could do was stand and watch the battle take place in front of me. I saw Edward throw Emmett away like he was a used toy, he hit a huge pine tree and the tree shook in protest. Emmett bounced back much quicker than anyone should have and the battle was on again. Jasper had walked outside with Emmett but was standing by the two with a very odd expression on his face. I was still rooted to the spot and it took a few seconds to realise that Carlisle was shaking me to move away and leave. I tried to focus on his face but it was hard. I could see Edward was beginning to get free of Emmett and it was the first time I actually feared for my life. I grabbed hold of the strong arms that were holding me for support, and I made my eyes turn to look at his.

"Bella Please go home, this is not the place for you. Bella?" He announced my name a little louder and all I could do was nod. I knew my truck would never outrun Edward, but at least I could try.

I turned and jumped back into my truck, shaking and crying. I drove out of there as quickly as I could and didn't stop till I was home.

I didn't try again. It was obviously over and I needed to accept that.

It hurt so much at first that I was sure I was going to die from a broken heart. I wasn't interested in eating and as a result my slender body had become a sack of skeleton bones. The guys and girls at school held no interest for me and I knew if I was ever to get past this excruciating pain, I would have to build some friendships again. Time continued on leaving me behind and it took another few months for me to be forced to wake up. I had stopped caring and it wasn't until Charlie actually packed my bag and said he was sending me back to Renee, that I tried to be alive, at least for his sake.

It was still hard, extremely hard, but what made it easier was that at least I was still able to see him everyday. It would have been unendurable if he had moved away. So during the day I would day dream that we were still together, that he still loved me but at night, the nightmares would pull me back into the present.

Edwards POV

I didn't deserve her. She was everything to me and I was nothing but a monster and if I truly loved her I had to let her go. I knew all of that and I tried to stick to my plan but she made it so much harder for me. Maybe it wasn't only her, I did agree to stay here, much to my family's relief, but only so I could keep an eye on her and remind myself of the pain that I had caused her. It was my own personal hell and I deserved it.

What amazed me more than anything was how quickly she believed the lies that I had told her. I knew it would be hard, I thought I would have to really convince her that I didn't care for her any more, but she believed me. That beautiful little creature who had stolen my dead heart believed that I didn't love her. Impossible.

I tossed the idea around after James had attacked her. But then things became complicated, Alice kept seeing Bella dead and it was driving me insane. We finally discovered that if I stayed with her she would die and I made the decision to do the one thing that I swore I never would.

Break Bella Swan's heart.

It seemed to work as Alice had not had another vision of her dead again. That broke my heart again. I hoped she was wrong and I could take her in my arms and feel the warmth of her body against me again. I wanted so much to touch her face when she blushed just so I could feel the warm blood swell under her skin. It was hard but some days were really hard. My resolve was slipping one weekend when she turned up in her truck. She didn't see me approach from behind her truck from the forest and I took a minute to look her over. She looked whiter than me and she had lost a lot of weight. She looked terrible. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her till she fainted again. I watched her and the feeling of want was threatening to overcome me. I started to walk forward and all I wanted was to take her there. I didn't want to hurt her but I wanted her so much it was blinding me. Her scent was filling my head and I was beginning to fall again. Then I heard Alice scream in my head and I looked over and saw Emmett in a crouch. I couldn't believe it my brother was going to attack me.

In my head I heard him scream that he was going to take Bella right there. I crouched down to jump over her and protect her but she heard my growl and spun around to look at me. Emmett charged and I intercepted him mid air. The battle was on. Jasper came in and was standing on the side with a feeling of confusion surrounding him. I vaguely heard Carlisle arrive and then I saw her leave. As soon as she drove away, Emmett relaxed and put his hands up in defeat.

"What the hell was that all about?" I was furious. Alice came out and whispered something to Jasper and he sent his calming waves out and I felt them engulf me.

"ALICE?" I knew she was behind this. She was. She told me she had another vision that we would be back together and then Bella was found dead again. The sound of the words struck me so hard again, I collapsed. I felt Carlisle take me inside and I couldn't think actually, I didn't want to think. Later Alice explained to me that the only way I would listen to her was to actually make it look like Bella was in danger. So she explained to Emmett her plan and he executed it perfectly. Emmett spent the afternoon apologising even though he didn't need to and when I thought about it with a clear head, I realised why Jasper was so confused.

I spent hours talking to Esme, my mother. She was a guiding light in this dark place I had inflicted upon myself. She let me get angry, she let me sit quietly and she let me talk endlessly about the pain. I loved her more than I had ever loved a mother figure during this time. She was my rock.

School was hard, I made sure we were not placed in another class together and that helped. But I still had to endure lunches and sport. As seniors, we had sport as combined classes. It was annoying watching Newton fuss over her and he was seriously using up his good luck.

I watched what she ate, which was very little but there was nothing I could do about that. I had set the boundaries and I couldn't go back on them now.

It was after a short amount of time that I noticed she was getting herself back together. I was pleased but also hurt. How quickly did she get over me? Alice assured me as did Jasper, that she was still in pain and the mood change was for her fathers benefit as he was going to send her away. I gasped at this and the look Alice gave me said it all. I couldn't think along those lines, it was for her that I inflicted this pain on all of us.

Ok Let me know what you think!! review if you like,

Sirius xoxo