A/N: This fic came from me watching way too much Lost Girl, playing the Batman Arkham series, and playing a through the Clear Vision series. All of which I do not own. I do not own Glee either, just my ideas, and some twisted poetry...we will get to that later. I will be doing a bunch of POVs this is a Brittana fic..so if you no like you no read!

Chapter 1 Hospital

BRITTANY'S POV

Brittany S. Pierce Lopez is a lot of things, I am a former cheerleader, a former air head, and a former mad scientist... Actually I am currently a mad scientist. Angry I am not, I am completely happy, most of the time. You see, I grew up in a small town in Ohio and I went to a small town school, I was the ditzy cheerleader that came up with ridiculous one liners. My last one liner, at graduation, being 'I am going to be a mad scientist'! Well bitches thought I be crazy. Bitches now be correct!

I went to school, got all of the doctorates and PhDs I could, in science, engineering, and health. I dropped off the map for a little while after college with my then girlfriend Santana Lopez, my now wife, and our mutual friend, Quinn Fabray and her on again off again girlfriend, Rachel Berry. We all now share a mansion on the outskirts of New York.

Between Quinn and I we were able to Bio-engineer an entire lush playground of flowers fruits and vegetables, in 5 years. Somewhere along the line we both cracked, our minds dove into the crazy and unsuspecting. Our lovers knew of our descent to madness, although we covered it up as best as we could.

Quinn and I are considered the Albert Einsteins of our generation, having published multiple books. At 27 we had money rolling in. Sometimes it would just pop up unexpectedly into our accounts...I'll eventually have to check that out.

Now we are back in actual society! *Mad cackle* uhm..er..anyway. I am currently standing in an elevator in the maternity ward in a hospital in New York.

It is time to experiment on a living subject, I've been going back and forth between three elevators, waiting for the perfect time to pull out my latest device! You see, I'm waiting for my friend, Quinn, who is sort of my...mad assistant, to usher a pregnant woman my way, I know it is against protocol for them to not be assisted by a nurse, hopefully the panicking husband will not.

As I make my way to elevator two I hear Quinn telling someone to make their way over to the same one, I glance over my shoulder and grin happily when I see two beautiful Asian women, one in a wheelchair, the other on her phone speaking rapidly, I hop into the elevator and hold it open for them.

Nodding at Quinn to get the hell outta dodge, and to wait in the affectionately named Bat5hit Mobile. I lean against the cool metal and study the women, the lady in the wheelchair had on a flowing maternity dress, while the other was decked out in full scene kid gear.

I reach my hand into my pocket and push the off button on the phone. I bite my lip to hide my triumphant squeal as the elevator bounces once and stays completely still, the lights flicker, and all is quiet for all of five seconds.

"What the fuck is happening?" Phone Asian asks in a screech.

"Maybe it's a-" I attempt.

"Uhhhng Carmen, I feel it coming!" Wheelchair screams.

"Holy shit..okay just hold it in or something!" Phone screeches again, by this time she's grabbed the security panel and has flipped the phone out talking to a maintenance guy or something.

I ignore her for the moment, and turn my attention the Wheelchair.

"Hi I'm Britt-" screeeeeeech I am once again interrupted by her mouth. I glare at her and kneel down in front of her, I glared into her chocolate orbs.

"Are your parents, fucking howler monkeys?" I ask her seriously.

"Are you being racist?" she shrieks, I blink and ponder on that for a second. I violently shake my head no.

"I am Doctor Spierce, unless you have recently swallowed a couple of midgets, I am going to assume you are pregnant. Luckily for you I am," I slapped my hand over her mouth before she could interrupt me, " I AM here in this broken elevator at this time."

"They don't know what's...wrong," Phone turns and sees my hands, one resting over Wheelchair's mouth the other on her thigh, "the fuck are you doing to my sister?"

I leap up and smile at her extending a hand, "I am Dr. Susan,"

"You said you were Dr. Spierce!" howls the monkey.

"Yeah that, anyway, I can deliver this child, she is," I poked her stomach, "ripe!"

I pull out a pen knife and surgical gloves, I put them on backwards but quickly reversed them, ripping the thumb off in the process. 'Fuck it, the epidermis is just a permanent glove!' I tell myself softly.

I rip the gloves off. "What's your name?" I ask the monkey, "Summer..."

"And I am Carmen and I do not approve!"

"Look Car, it's fine, I just want this thing out of me, now!"

I reach into my pants pocket and pull out a small camera and affix it to my collar, I reach into my front pocket and pull out a black pill, the size of a baby aspirin. "This is an epidural of my own creation!" I smile and throw it into her mouth, she swallowed out of surprise.

"What the actual fu-"

"Next we pull up that dress and give me a peek into your vertical smile!" I yell over Carmen, I turn my back for a few seconds to give her privacy, my brain register that I was about to be elbow deep in foreign vagina so it didn't really matter.

I pop my neck and grin wildly as I peered down at her, "this shouldn't hurt a bit!" I whisper yell.

*an hour later*

I was on a far side of the small elevator, I was in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. This was way different than delivering animals, or random operations on Lore Tubbington. But this shit be crazy, let me reflect upon you in twenty minute intervals of what happened.

First 20

I managed to maneuver her onto the ground without much trouble, after Carmen pushed and folded the wheelchair. I knelt between her spread legs and glanced down, and snapped my head right back up. Now to get of track for just a tick, I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty well versed in the vagina monologues if you catch my drift. My wife, who is an extremely devoted housewife, has the perfect little octopussior. It's freakin sweet... "I'm sorry Dr. Spierce but why are you telling us this?" Summer asked through tears. "Oops, my inner became an outer..."

Second 20

I know how to do many things, I know how to replace LTs body parts as they degenerate, I know how to put a smile on my sweeties face, and I know how to create a shit ton of mechanical and chemical devices that could or could not end feline aids, and yet I had no idea how to comfort a crying pregnant lady and her pissed off sister. I ran my fingers up and down her thighs, trying to comfort her.

"Hands off, doc, she has a husband!" Carmen barks at me.

I gazed at her blankly.

I leaned my head back slowly and twitched my eye.

"I am a very happily married woman, she stays at home all day and greets me at the door with a cigar and scotch... Wait no, that's a TV show..anyway. I-" I was jerked out of my revere of my wife by a small hand, I was pulled close to Summer's face.

"If. You. Don't. Get. This. Out. Of. Me. I will. End. You..." she hissed. Wide eyed I quickly averted my gaze back to the task at hand.

Third 20

"Push!" I yelled, I could feel the tremors from her thighs that I still had my hands firmly planted on. She grunted as she held firmly to her sister.

"You are crowning, Summer! Give me another push then relax," I smiled as I watched the sisters comfort each other. I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out a very small micro chip and implanted it in the small body, behind the ear, it would look like a small mole.

It worked on LTs spawn I'm sure it would work on a human child, if not it would simply disappear and not cause any problems to the child's health, but if it works, it will be the smartest child in the world, and it will find me later in life and it will be my protégé!

I giggled a little in my excitement.

"Okay, one more big push and we can deliver this beautiful bouncing...baby...girl!" I smiled softly at the child, I took my pen knife and cut the umbilical cord. I handed her the baby. And sat against the wall, bloody and proud.

And then...

End of hour

I looked up at them, by now I had deactivated the motor holding back the elevator, I wanted to get the hell out.

"Look its totally natural for people to eat the placenta," Carmen snapped at my horror stricken green face, a little of said placenta still on her chin. Le gag

"Yeah well, I've never seen anyone just..eat it like that... I mean LT has eaten his own puke but...you know what I am going home..."

I bolted out of the elevator covered in blood and a tiny bit of puke, I ran as fast I could to the staircase I knew would take me down to the garage and to the Bat5hit mobile.

I skidded and slipped in what I hope and prayed to be lemonade, I regained my footing quickly and ran head first into a security guard making his rounds. We stared blankly at each other for all of five seconds before his hands went to his baton and walkie talkie. Ah shit... I ducked around him and power drove through the front door, feet were most definitely following me, one can never forget that clack clack clack of shoes on a linoleum floor.

I saw my suspiciously unsuspicuous car with an, of course, sleeping Quinn in the driver's seat. I ran to the passenger side, very thankful for all of those years of dance. I kicked at the door. She yelped awake and pressed her face to the window. I glared at her and made the universal sign for open the fucking door before security busts our asses.

She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, I dove in and slammed it just as security ran their under practiced asses into the parking lot, "Quick kiss me!" Quinn, dove at me. I batted her to the side and she laid on the console with a pout.

"The windows are very tinted, the only way they'll be able to see us is if -" I gasped as Quinn jumped out of the car and onto the hood.

"SHE'S IN HERE BOYS COME AND GET 'ER!" I ripped myself from inside of the car and snatched her off the hood.

"Quinn what the fuck!" I snarled as I tossed her into the passenger seat and peeled outta there.

"You hit me," she said simply, I turned my head to her and tilted it. There she sat arms crossed bottom lip out and eyes wide staring at the road. Dead. Serious. She threw her head back and dramatic look gophered me. I jumped at the sudden mood change.

It was going to be a long ride home.

End of chapter one, I guess.. I have literally millions of ideas floating around my noggin, I just had to get it out! So idk..I know a lot of this is random, and trust me it gets pretty intense, next chapter we peek in on Santana Pierce Lopez. If no one knows about the dramatic look gopher and its hilarious creepiness, YouTube it! Until next time xx