Dissection
The tightness in my bossom
He wanted to be seen, was that too much to ask for?
He wanted to have friends, to be appreciated.
He had dreams and aspirations like all boys his age: to be Hokage, to be respected.
And he had hope, he had all the hope in the world and all the will power and optimism necessary despite coming from the much doubted and oppressed clan, despite being so alone , so disregarded.
Up until he saw her, when all his dreams converged .. All his dreams were reduced to one ..
To be noticed by Rin,
To be loved by Rin.
Slowly, his naivety wore off, his optimism faded and all his dreams were blown by the cruel winds of blustery Konoha ..
He accepted defeat, accepted he would always be left behind, accepted he had lost Rin to Kakashi yet he hid it well behind a shattered mask of fake positivity, false indifference.
He was already losing the fight, even before Madara found him.
Some thing was holding him in place, wrapping around his chest , crushing his ribs and draining his soul out of him.
Everytime he saw Rin with Kakashi, something tightened in his chest.
Everytime he wanted to scream .. To tell her to see him, to truly see him .. But backed off , the tightness narrowed a bit more
Still, he held onto one thing, one string that kept him hanging on the edge of sanity, Rin .. Seeing Rin, prosperous and Happy.
It only took one final blow to send his cracked façade crashing down ...
Kakashi killing Rin.
The world was stripped off colour, the tightness knocked the air out of him at last
The world was wholly proclaimed an evil place.
He looks back sometimes, when the constriction loosens up just a little bit and wonders, what would have happened had he moved on from Rin?
What would have happened had he never been an orphan much less an Uchiha?
What would have happened had he left Konoha? Had he never been alone?
Nevermind,
He has gotten used to loneliness,he has gotten used to heart ache, to madness.
He has gotten used to being an Uchiha who loved too much, who loathed too much, who dies either way.