A really, REALLY short one-shot on Emily's thoughts after Richard dies... Post series
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DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING
Some days are better than others.
Some days are worse.
But even on the good ones, you miss him so much that it physically hurts.
You were meant to go first. He promised you that you could.
Sometimes you wonder if it hurts even more because him dying meant that he broke that promise.
Once, you attempted to explain why to the other ladies at the DAR - your so-called friends - but they just laughed. And a few days after you over heard Biddy Charleston talking to some other busy-body about you. Well, you say talking, what you really mean is mocking.
Suddenly the house and neighbourhood that you've lived in for... gosh, too long to say, seems like the coldest, most hostile place imaginable.
Suddenly, you can understand why Lorelai chose to leave.
Sometimes, you wish that you were more like your daughter, more carefree and less... worried about the impressions certain actions left on people. Sometimes, you get so fed up, you actually look at other houses in different neighbourhoods. You wonder if starting over, starting afresh is what you need, what will help. But you daren't do so - imagine what people would say?!
So instead you're stuck, going through the same old routine, day-in, day-out.
And as each day passes, you feel yourself getting more and more tired... Though what exactly you're tired of, you're not sure.
But you can't tell anyone this. You can't tell anyone anything. After all, there's no one around to listen.
You revert back to the same old tricks just to get Lorelai to speak to you.
It's not that the two of you have the same forced relationship, it's just that her life continues to move on whilst yours stagnates. So you do whatever you have to in order to gain an opportunity to speak with your daughter.
You do the same with Rory, but less frequently - she's more likely to think that something is wrong if you try to often.
But is it?
Is something wrong?
You're not sure.
So instead of trying to figure it out, you hide behind social events, tea with the girls and chanel perfume.
Because that's what you were taught to do.
Because that's who you are.
Because you're Emily.